by Ronica Black
“I think I really am going to have a heart problem after this.”
“Well, it’s a good thing you have a doctor then.”
“I thought you said you couldn’t treat me?” She was buttoning her blouse.
Blake stopped her with one hand while the other toyed with her as it was still inside her. She elicited another gasp before she slowly removed herself from her.
“You know what? I don’t really care.”
“What has happened to you?” Cam asked, touching her face.
Blake kissed her and placed a finger to her lips. “You.”
Chapter Forty-seven
Four Weeks Later
Cam finished putting some of the final touches on the latest chapter of her manuscript and closed the laptop, feeling a sense of satisfaction as she rose to stretch. The light in the room had dimmed considerably and she was surprised to see how late it was as she glanced at the pewter clock on her bookshelf and looked out the window to the sea. She’d worked longer than she’d realized and the overcast day had given way to the darkening approach of late evening.
The dogs stirred at her feet as she made her way into the kitchen to retrieve a bottle of water. She eyed the wine fridge next to the refrigerator and felt nothing. The urge she’d had to drown in wine in order to get through had left her weeks ago and she hadn’t even wanted any at meals either. Not even when she went to see her aunt and uncle for their weekly meals. Last Saturday she’d had a beer, but only because her uncle had brought her one as they’d sat out on the back deck of their home to visit.
She hadn’t really needed anything as of late.
Maybe that was because she didn’t feel like she had anything to try to make it through.
Life was…well, just good. She didn’t have everything she wanted, but she had a lot, and the gratefulness for that alone had sort of settled over her psyche and left her feeling content and relaxed. She was finally feeling more like herself. Her friends and loved ones had noticed and even the dogs seemed to be in a better state of mind.
She left her water on the counter and led the way to the back door. The dogs scurried ahead of her onto the patio and then looked back for permission before taking off down the steps.
“Go ahead.”
They took off and she smiled after them and hugged herself in the strong breeze. She stared out at the churning, charcoal gray sea as it began to meld into the shadows of night. She’d missed the sunset but she wasn’t overly disappointed. It, like the wine, didn’t feel as necessary to her happiness as it once had. She knew there’d be another again tomorrow and she didn’t worry about whether or not she’d be there to see it. If she was then she’d take the time to relish it like she always had and appreciate each and every color as they burst forth to shine before melting down into the horizon. If she wasn’t there to see it, then she wouldn’t have anything to worry about at all would she?
She took life as it came, one thing at a time, one moment at a time. The rest…was just filler. Things a writer would add to a book that the reader might enjoy, but they weren’t absolutely vital to the plot.
The dogs barked from the water’s edge and then sprinted to the left, kicking up wet sand like they were on the run for their lives. She walked to the steps and peered after them, curious as to what would cause such a commotion. Her breath caught as she found the source, and for a second, she questioned her sanity. For a long while she’d envisioned Blake running toward her from down the beach at dawn, but that had been a dream. Blake had always vanished before she reached her. And those were dreams she’d had at dawn. This was evening. And that was…
She descended a step and blinked.
“Blake.”
She wasn’t dreaming. It really was her. Walking toward her in jeans and a sweater, with the dogs dancing at her feet.
Cam hurried down the steps and through the cold sand. Though she didn’t have to run far to reach her, she was still breathless when she came to a stop before her close to the whispering waves of the sea.
“You’re here,” Cam said in disbelief. “What—?” She shook her head, unsure what to question or even what to say she was so surprised. She’d last seen her a month ago when Cam had gone to Phoenix to meet Irene about the book. The book she’d since sold and was now under contract with. But that was not what Cam remembered most about that trip. It was seeing Blake again that had really left its mark on her. They’d spent two passion-filled days at Blake’s home making love and trying desperately to get as much of each other as they could before they had to part. They’d talked about seeing each other again, but those plans hadn’t been fleshed out yet. Or at least not to Cam’s knowledge anyway.
Blake tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear and grinned.
“Surprised?”
Cam stammered. “Uh, yeah.”
“A bit lost for words?”
“Somewhat, yes.”
“Is your heart pounding out of your chest?”
She reached out and placed her hand on Cam’s chest. Cam covered it with her own.
“You tell me.”
Blake inched closer and touched her face. “It is. Just like mine did when you surprised me. I’ll never forget walking in that room and seeing you sitting there like that. Looking the way you did. Never.”
“And I’ll never forget this.”
“I suppose not.”
The wind blew her hair again and pressed the maroon sweater against her body. Her cheeks tinged a shade lighter than her sweater when Cam traced her fingers along her neck.
“What are you doing here?”
“You mean other than surprising you? I came to close the deal on the building and to hire someone to start the renovations.”
Cam wasn’t sure she’d heard her correctly. Last she knew Blake was once again leaning toward making her dream of the clinic a reality, but she was unaware she’d made up her mind completely. “Blake, that’s—Jesus, that’s great.”
“It’s a shock, I know. And I’ve been dying to tell you, but I wanted to surprise you. Kind of like you surprised me.”
“You’ve succeeded. More than succeeded. I can’t believe it. I’m so happy for you.” Cam was smiling so hard her face hurt. She could see the light in Blake’s eyes, the heavy weight of the world gone. She was all about making her dream come true now, no matter what obstacles she might face in doing so. It was her dream and any difficulty she would face would be worth it, the fight to make it through more meaningful and the end result all the sweeter. She was going to be happy now, Cam could see it in her, really, truly, happy. Doing what she loved. What she felt she was meant to do.
“You’re happy for me?”
“Happy? I’m ecstatic! You should see the way you look right now. Just seeing you glowing like this makes me happy, much less your good news.”
“I’m happy too. But not just for me. Not just because of the clinic. But for us. I’m happy for us. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think about that when I made this decision. I couldn’t help it. I can’t help it. I think about you and about us all the time. I know that probably makes you uncomfortable because you said you wanted me to base my decision solely on me and my dream in case we don’t work out. And mostly, I have, Cam. But you were part of the equation too. And if for whatever reason we don’t work out, I won’t be upset with you. How could I? You’ve only helped me to make the decision to chase my dream. I could never resent you for that. Besides,” she stroked Cam’s cheek and inched even closer, “I’m not worried about us working out. I can only think about how good it’s going to be to try.” She kissed her, lightly, delicately, like she was afraid Cam would vanish if she pressed too hard. “Because it’s going to feel so incredibly good to try.”
Cam licked her lips, the feel and taste of Blake still lingering. The kiss had been a tease, a promise as to what was to come.
“Yes, it will,” Cam agreed.
“Hey! Lovebirds!”
They looked up toward the voice.
Sloane was standing in front of her patio with her hand on her hips.
“You coming for dinner or what?”
Cam laughed. “I had no idea any of you had even arrived.”
“We were purposely stealthy.” She moved the hand she had on Cam’s heart and stroked her arm, eliciting goose bumps. “God, I’m freezing and you’re in short sleeves. You’re not ever cold.”
“I get cold,” Cam said. “Just rarely happens when I’m with you.”
“You’re saying I make you hot?”
Cam smiled and stilled her hand. “That would be the understatement of the century.”
Blake laughed and tilted her head toward Sloane. “With that in mind, what should we tell them about dinner? Kenna started cooking the second we arrived. You know how she is.”
Cam looked back up to Sloane who held her arm out and raised a shoulder, waiting for an answer.
“Think they’ll forgive us if we skip out on dinner?”
“Do we care if they don’t?”
Cam took her hand and tugged her toward the house. Her house. “Absolutely not. After all, this is exactly what they’ve been wanting. They don’t have a leg to stand on.”
“Good point.” Blake hurried after her and they jogged up toward the house.
Sloane was calling out to them, still trying to get an answer. It only made Cam laugh harder. They reached the bottom of the steps and Blake stopped them. Cam faced her.
“What is it?” Cam asked, noticing the soft seriousness that had overcome her.
“I didn’t even ask you if this is okay with you. If this is still what you want.”
Cam held her hands and looked deep into her eyes. Night was falling all around them and the sea was gently hissing just beyond. The chill of the breeze blew against them, the scent of salt and sand rich and alluring. It wasn’t like her dream. It wasn’t dawn and it wasn’t warm. And Blake couldn’t stay indefinitely. Not yet.
But it was real.
It was life.
And it was pretty fucking terrific.
Cam answered her with a kiss and told her all the things she couldn’t possibly say with words. Then she pulled away, saw the love in Blake’s eyes ensuring she’d understood, and she tugged her up the stairs to continue to relay her feelings to her without words.
Words, for the moment anyway, Cam decided to save for her books.
Because some things couldn’t be conveyed through words.
Some things could only be conveyed through the heart.
THE END
About the Author
Ronica Black lives in the desert Southwest with her menagerie of animals and her menagerie of art. When she’s not writing, she’s still creating, whether drawing, painting, or woodworking. She loves long walks into the sunset, rescuing animals, anything pertaining to art, and spending time with those she loves. When she can, she enjoys returning to her roots in North Carolina where she can sit back on the porch with family and friends, catch up on all the gossip, and relish an ice cold Cheerwine.
Ronica is a two-time Golden Crown Literary Society Goldie Award winner and a three-time finalist for the Lambda Literary Awards.
Books Available from Bold Strokes Books
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