by Brick
“How to kill a nigga.”
She grabbed my hand and laid her head on my shoulder. For a while we just sat there and held hands. She hummed as she rocked back and forth.
“I ain’t going back to that life ever, Ray-Ray. Never ever going back. So whatever you thinking, I’m down. I had my baby stomped outta me. Losing my baby was worse than the pain of what else happened to me. I ain’t ever going back to that shit.”
A sad, depressing feeling washed over me as I remembered Dame’s big foot crashing down into her stomach. Before Dame was killed, Sasha, another girl who used to work for Dame, set me and Gina up with the help of two other niggas in the house, Pookie and Blackout. Sasha had tricked Gina into believing that Dame had wanted her to take me to the strip club so I could be trained on how to dance. Although something in my gut was telling me some shit was off with it, me and Gina left anyway. To make a long story short, Dame found us and took us down to the basement, the Underworld. He damn near beat me and Gina to death down there and when he found out Gina was pregnant, he stomped the baby out of her.
“These niggas talking about peace and education. How the fuck am I suppose to focus on that with the threat of this nigga looming over me?”
I didn’t even realize my hands had started to shake.
“Shhh. Relax, Ray-Ray. You know Trigga gon’ protect us and we got more people who care about us around now. And we both know that we gon’ ride or die in this so shit don’t matter. It’s okay to be scared. I’ve been scared most of my life,” she said as she lifted her head then moved to stand in front of me.
“Yeah, but a bitch tired of being scared, Gina. I wanna live life. I wanna fucking be normal. I wanna go to college and parties like a normal kid. I am a fucking kid. This shit ain’t how life was s’posed to be.”
My breath caught hard as I realized I had started crying. I was deep into my feelings, I knew that. And I knew that people were going to be telling me to pull it together and think smart, but goddamn it, sometimes I wanted to think dumb like a dumbass kid. Like the dumbass kid I was.
“Shhh, don’t cry, Ray-Ray,” Gina said softly.
Her soft hands came up to wipe the tears away from my face then she kissed my lips. It was unexpected but I didn’t stop her. I’d missed her, I couldn’t lie. I knew we weren’t in love or no shit, but I did love her. Not like a sister because we’d had sex, but not as deep as a lover because she had Jake. Still, when her tongue parted my lips, I gave in to the sensation she always gave me. Kissing Gina was like an energizer and a tranquilizer all in one. It was nothing for my arms to enclose around her when she straddled my lap and took the kiss deeper. Her hands massaged my scalp as she tugged at my hair. When she moaned out it stirred something in the pit of my stomach and settled between my legs. My moan joined Gina’s as we fell back on the bed.
“I missed you,” she told me as her hands found my titties underneath my shirt.
My back arched and legs fell open so she could fall between my thighs.
“I missed you too.”
My head was a fuzzy memory after that because Gina had taken my shirt and bra off. Her warm mouth and velvety tongue were on my nipples. She took her time with those then she would kiss around the soft parts of my breasts. I’d never had enjoyable sex with a man, but Gina had always given me pleasure. My tights and underwear came off next. She did all of that while tracing a trail of kisses down my flat stomach. When I tried to take her shirt off, she shook her head and stood. I was confused until she smiled lightly and slowly removed her shirt. I could then see why she wanted to do it. I remembered her right titty had been sliced open from being in the Underworld. I could still see that it was healing.
I sat up and moved to sit on the side of the bed, pulling her to stand between my legs. I planted butterfly kisses up and down the still-stitched breast. She hissed a bit then arched forward encouraging me to keep going. My hands found her waist then I slid them around grip her plump ass. Gina’s ass was the kind people paid for. It wasn’t too big and wasn’t too small. It had just the right amount of firmness. I slid her skin-tight jeans over her petite hips and helped her pull them off. My lips kissed her belly button. She still had visible scars there too.
That nigga Dame had done a number on us both mentally and physically, but just like before, we found comfort in one another. When she urged me to lie back and got her on knees, my mind went to Trigga. I couldn’t deny I wanted that boy. Wanted him to want me. I remembered the kisses he gave me when we both lay on that dead nigga’s bed. The way he moved his hips like we were fucking gave me chills. And when Gina’s lips kissed my pussy, it was Trigga’s name that almost escaped my mouth.
“We’re about to make a run to the Bricks,” I heard Phenom saying as me and Gina walked from my room.
We were holding hands. Our sexing had gone from the bed to the shower. Big Jake’s eyes found mine. The way he looked from me to Gina then to our intertwined hands and grunted low told me knew we did more than talk. I didn’t even really think about how he would feel with me and Gina sharing that kind of intimacy. Before I knew about her and Big Jake I was used to us touching, kissing, and sexing one another. Didn’t know how to stop or if I should. I saw Trigga leaning against the wall, but looking at him would only anger me so I kept my eyes on Anika and Phenom.
“Ghost, put ya headphones on,” Trigga said before Phenom continued to talk.
Ghost jumped up from the couch. “But I want to hear what he’s saying and I want to go where y’all going.”
Trigga stood straight up. There was no emotion on his face and his mood was undetectable. “Put ya headphones on, Chas. This wasn’t a debate.”
Normally when I told Ghost to do something or called her by her name she would fight me or argue me down until she got at least part of what she wanted, but with little to no fuss she plopped back down on the sofa in a huff and slammed her headphones on.
“’Preciate it. Now volume up,” he told her again.
Next thing I heard was the faint sound of some song about pumped-up kicks and kids running from a bullet.
Phenom started talking again. “We’re headed to the Bricks. That’s my woman’s side of town, son. We gotta pick up some shit. Drop some shit off, eh? We in and we out. I don’t really fuck with the Jamaicans like that since they started dealing with that dickhead Dante, too. So this is my last shipment with them.”
“You guys can tag along see and hear what goes down and how it goes down. These Jamaican nutters nothing like in the States. These niggas don’t come equipped with nothing but evil intentions. Remember that going in. Don’t trust nothing you see,” Anika added.
“So, we’re not really using this time for peace?” I asked sarcastically. “It was just some bullshit to pacify me with, basically?”
Phenom cut his eyes at me and placed his gun away so quick it was like he never even had one. His long black trench coat matched Anika’s as they both were dressed in all black. They had turned my flat into a situation room for the time being. The way he looked at Trigga then nodded his head back in my direction telling him to “handle that” pissed me off even more.
Anika stepped in front of me as Phenom walked out the door. “Listen to me: that attitude you got, niece, use it in the streets against the enemy who will be coming for you, yeah? Don’t toss that shit at him, me, or anyone else in this house. You got some shit to get off your chest, I really don’t give a fuck right now,” she said stepping closer until we were face to face. “Nobody got time for your childish pettiness now. Get in the game or stay the fuck back because you’ll only be in the way.” With that she turned and headed for the door behind the man she called her husband.
“Well the fuck y’all want me to do? Be at peace or get in the fucking game?” I yelled.
But it was to no one because she was gone. I looked around the room a little embarrassed at being snapped at and more ashamed that I was feeling like I was about to lose my mind. Jake brushed by me next. I could have sw
orn he did that purposely. I looked up at Trigga as he walked toward the door.
“We’ll talk later,” was all he said as he walked out. He stopped as he stepped out the door and look back. “Move ya ass, li’l shawty. Let’s go.”
I looked at Ghost who was sitting looking like she was about to cry.
“What about Ghost?”
“I’m staying here,” Gina said. “I can’t really do shit in the street ’cause I’m still fucked up, but I can stay here and bust a cap in any nigga who steps in here and he ain’t supposed to be.”
“And Speedy gon’ be posted outside, so they good,” Trigga added.
With that said, I followed Trigga out the door. We all piled into a black Hummer and made the drive over to Brixton, which was no more than ten minutes away. Really, the streets of Hackney were no different than the streets of Bankhead or Godby Road in Atlanta to me. In some places trash littered the streets. Young boys, black and brown mostly, walked around with their pants off their asses. Chicks who looked to be no more than teenagers giggled and cackled as they hung around sets trying to claim a spot as the main bitch. Shit was no different. I really didn’t feel safe with night falling. Especially when we pulled into a back alley that led down to an empty set of garages. The garages took up the whole back alley. Heavy island reggae blasted. I was surprised any of the men could hear as they all talked to one another.
“You ready to die?” Phenom asked when the Hummer stopped. “Because these niggas in here wake up every day ready to die. You gotta wanna die more than you wanna live to survive these streets, yeah.”
“Since linking with Dante these motherfuckers done cock up my money and my product. They turncoats and I don’t do turncoats no matter who they are,” Anika said.
“Then they tell tales that be fulla loads of bullocks. Now we take the blighters out. So again, who’s ready to die?” Phenom asked again.
He was talking to everybody and none of us at the same time. I had no idea what some of the words he was saying meant at times, but I guess it was just something else for me to learn.
“How many units we getting today?” Trigga asked.
“Fuck the units, nephew.”
“I meant of blood, nigga. How many units of blood?”
Trigga had zipped his hood to cover half of his face. The crazy side of that nigga was back. I knew he was on that bullshit earlier. There was nothing but the look of death in that nigga’s eyes. Big Jake was chuckling in the back as I heard his gun click. Anika was the first to step from the truck. I noticed she was quiet and I was wondering why they were going to let her walk into that place alone. About six or so dingy-looking dirty dread heads stood there waiting for my aunt. What tripped me out was the one with red dreads standing off to the left like he didn’t want to be seen.
“Y’all gon’ let her walk in there by herself?” I asked in total disbelief.
“It’s her work and her units, eh? Mi gyal can hold down she self. She no bombaclat,” Phenom spat out as he watched.
Anytime the Caribbean in him came out, I had to wonder if Trigga could speak that way too. Phenom could talk that shit all he wanted but I saw the way his hand gripped the steering wheel and the way he took long pulls of the gonga cigarette he was puffing. Fuck that, I thought. I already had on a trench; I grabbed the Mac 10 in the black duffle bag on the floor of the truck and jump out. I knew it was a Mac 10 because Jake and Trigga had been talking about the beauty of it on the way over. Trigga wasn’t fast enough to stop me. For the first time, I caught him off guard. Although I ain’t really know her, she was the closest to my mama I would ever get again. So I needed her to come out alive. I still had a lot of shit I needed answers to. Now, for the life of me I didn’t really know anything about pulling the trigger on that gun, but I was gon’ learn that day. I slowly walked up and flanked her. I couldn’t lie; I was so scared my pussy was trembling.
“Aneeka, yuh brang me young gyal fa di ramping shop, yeah?” one of the Jamaicans taunted.
My aunt didn’t break a sweat as the Beenie Man–looking nigga kept eyeing me up and down.
“I ain’t bring you shit. Where is my money, Pras?”
The dreaded man gave a hearty laugh. “We ’ave fi tek a trip inside di shop, eh? Yur money’s dere.”
“Bring my money here. Bring my money now. I won’t say it again.”
“Why so hostile, gyal? We no fi do business anymore?”
Anika pulled two machetes from her sides so smoothly that all could be heard was the swish in which they sang against the air. Because I didn’t know what else to do and instinct had me in fight or flight mode, I drew the gun that I wasn’t even sure I knew how to fire. That shit didn’t have time to register though. All I heard was a loud male yelp and then a black ashy hand hit the concrete.
“Ahh, bruv, this bitch is crazy. She cut my fucking hand off,” a boy cried from the corner.
He dropped down hard to his knees yelping. His face was screwy, turned upward as his eyes shut tight and his breathing got rampant. Anika then rushed forward, hopped on the top of the small table that sat between us and the men.
“I won’t say another fucking time to get my money.” She leveled the bloody machete at Pras’s neck. “Where is my dough?”
“Irie, irie,” he said with his hands up in the air. “Dante—”
As soon as the name Dante left his mouth my aunt kicked him square in the face her thick army boots drawing blood. When his body fell back, she jumped from the table, and stalked him until he hit the ground. Guns cocked around us. One was leveled at my head. The rest trained on Anika as she stood over the Jamaican Lord ready to end him. My gun was snatched from my hands. The nigga’s gun that was at the base of my skull also had his hot breath on my neck and his dick pressed against my ass.
“Preety gyal like yuh should be coming fi mi ramping shop, eh. So say when we finish off di rogue bitch yuh and me have us a lit’ul fun?” he said against my ear, the British accent mixed with his Jamaican one making his spittle fly into my ear.
I didn’t know what the fuck a ramping shop was, but I knew I wasn’t about to be taken anywhere else against my will. That was what had me swinging my hand back and grabbing a handful of that nigga’s nuts. When he bowed forward I elbowed him hard enough to back him up off of me. He dropped his gun and mine. The Mac 10 slid across the way but as I rushed for his gun he grabbed my foot, tripping me. I hit the ground hard almost slamming my chin against the pavement. I heard another male yell; gunfire had me recoiling then fear made me use my Nike-clad feet to kick the redheaded dread square in the face again. My aunt’s grunts could be heard as I used my elbows to crawl backward. I continued to kick at the man trying to get control of my feet again. Red the Dread fell back, but I could see him reaching in his pants for another gun. I frantically turned and grabbed the butt of his 9 mm Sig Sauer. I didn’t even blink when I turned around and fired. My aim had never been perfect but I shot that nigga square between the eyes just as he was aiming at me.
His blood splattered in my face as he fell forward and almost landed on me. I squealed and jumped up. Heart thumping and breathing rampant, my vision went toward the Hummer wondering where Trigga and them niggas were, then back to my Anika who had just finished hacking a nigga until all he looked like was carved turkey. She was covered in blood with a scowl on her face. I briskly walked toward her to see she had cut off both Pras’s hands. She moved from the nigga she had just carved up and then stood wide legged over Pras with her machete aimed at his face.
“I know you told Dante about my shipment.” When she spoke her voice was calm as if she was talking to a friend, like she hadn’t just cut up about five niggas.
“I swear down, mi told no one about ah ting, yeah,” Pras pleaded.
“You lying to me, Pras. I told you when I found out you started doing business with that nigga on my turf that I was coming for you.”
Pras was sweating and trembling. “I swear down! Dante tell me you and Phenom about fi be
making moves wit di Jews in Hackney near Springhill Park, yuh? He telling all di boroughs wit di blacks that yuh bout fi be teking money elsewhere, yeah? So mi tink about mi family and started doing business where mi money stay flowing. Was never meaning to turn on yuh.”
“And where is Chyna?”
“Mi dun know. Mi swear down, eh. Dante tek her away from here when him heard you be buk.”
I didn’t expect my aunt to look at me and ask, “What would you do?”
“Kill him,” I answered without thought.
Anybody batting for Dante’s team was any enemy of the ENGA state. We all had motherfucking agendas and mine was to stay alive. Fuck what Phenom was talking about wanting to die more than the next nigga. I wanted to live. I didn’t know who Chyna was and didn’t care to know. Whoever she was must have been close to my aunt because water rimmed her eyes.
Pras started pleading as he used his bloody elbows to try to back away. “Don’t kill mi, Anika. Mi help yuh find Chyna.”
“You been knowing where she was and you ain’t ever said shit before now.”
Without blinking, Anika raised the blade and brought down square between Pras’s eyes. His wig split open like a melon. She yanked the machete out and turned to walk away. For a moment all I could do was stand there and look at the man who used to be Pras. That nigga had died with his eyes open. That pleading look was still in them. I finally turned and jogged to catch up with my aunt. Just like before I knew who she was, when I was under Dame’s lock and key, I was amazed and awed.
As we walked back to the Hummer, my heart thumped so hard against my chest I felt like I was having a heart attack. My throat swelled like I was becoming short of breath. It was the same overwhelming feeling I had when I smashed that nigga, Pookie’s, brains in. Once we got to the truck, all the contents of my stomach came rumbling out.
Anika snatched the driver side door to the Hummer open and hopped in. I took my bloody shirt off and wiped the rest of the vomit from my mouth then climbed in the back expecting to see Trigga, Jake, and Phenom, but they weren’t there. I panicked when Anika cranked the truck.
