by Fox, Nicole
There was a spark in her eyes. Hope? Longing?
“Ana ...”
I leaned forward—
“Grizzly.”
Just like that, the spark fizzled out. She put her hands on my chest. They were so small in comparison, but when she pushed, I let her do so.
“I need to get back to work,” she said flatly. I stepped out of her way and let her open the door. She paused in the frame. “I was nice seeing you again, Grizzly. But please ...don’t do this again.”
My mouth set in a frown, but I let her go, for now.
Duchess—no, Ana, now—may have gotten away years ago, but I’d be damned if I let her get away from me this time.
Chapter Two Ana
What was he doing here? Why was he here? Why was he trying to help me?
These thoughts raced through my head as I went back out to the front. It had been years since I’d seen Grizzly. He was bigger than before and had filled out nicely. He hadn’t lost his protective streak, however. I should have been grateful for that, and I would have been, but this wasn’t the time for that. He couldn’t be like that with me anymore.
Even if I couldn’t stop wanting to just go back to the bathroom and stay in his arms.
I shook my head as I finished cleaning up the broken glass from the floor and got back to work, avoiding looking at Grizzly as he came back out of the bathroom. He went over and joined the rest of the MC boys who were with him—I hadn’t even known these were his boys. They didn’t go by the Skinners anymore. They were the Butchers. I could believe it, with how big Grizzly had gotten.
“Hey, cupcake. Can you get me that refill?”
“Yeah, getting right on it,” I said, bubbly despite wanting to tell the pushy patron to go and fuck right off. I poured the asshole his drink and slid it over with a smile that would win me some tips, then leaned over to give him a nice, generous flash of tit, too. Because I was just nice like that, or something. Truth was, I needed the money, and as soon as I had enough of it, I was packing up and heading out of here as soon as I damn well could. I didn’t stay one place for long anymore. It was hard to set down roots when you didn’t feel like you deserved to do so.
I looked back up and caught Grizzly staring at me. God. It’d been so long ...
I tore my eyes away from him. I wasn’t going to go there. I had resigned myself to not going there ever again when I left the first time, and now every other time that I left someplace. I had to stick to that.
Grizzly didn’t come back to the bar, and for that, I was grateful. It meant that my night went smoothly, and I was able to collect enough tips that I might be able to get something decent for dinner, as well as stash some away when I got back to the rinky, little motel I was staying at. Eventually, the Butchers were gone, and slowly the other patrons filtered out, too. It was honestly a relief. There was only so much that I felt I could handle in a single night, and a blast from the past was not one of those things. There were too many emotions that had welled up at once when I saw Grizzly, and I wouldn’t—I couldn’t—allow myself to get swept up in them.
So, I focused on work, focused on finishing it, and focused on getting done before Jeremy decided that I’d stayed there long enough that night that I was free to put in overtime bent over his desk.
The thought made me shudder, but it did help me keep my job. Sometimes you weren’t allowed to be picky.
I was cleaning off the counters when Jeremy slunk himself out from the back. I pretended to ignore the slap he gave my ass; maybe if I let him cop a feel like I always did, he’d forget his little ...spat with Grizzly.
“How was your night?” he asked me, seemingly innocent. There was my answer, and I quickly started to think of ways to keep him from asking me what I knew he was going to ask.
“Eh, it was all right,” I lied. “Not too much to do. Those bikers are stingy,” I said, rolling my eyes theatrically.
“Bullshit. I saw you flashing your tits all over the place.” Before I could say anything more, he grabbed my arm and reeled me around. I had learned a long time ago to let men like Jeremy do as they pleased, but it didn’t stop the glare that I shot him as he shoved his hand into my bra, pulling out my neatly-folded slips of money. Then, his hand was in my pockets. He got the front ones first, before flipping me and bending me over the counter, getting every bit of cash I’d earned tonight.
“Those are my tips,” I said, standing straight when he was done. I watched him pocket my money.
“No, they aren’t. It’s the money that I’m going to use to replace the glasses that you broke—”
“You don’t need that much for glasses!”
“The rest is grievance money for dealing with you being more trouble than you’re worth. You can go and run with your biker boy; don’t come back tomorrow.”
My stomach dropped.
“Wait—what, no, Jeremy, please, I need this job—”
“I know your kind; you’ll be here one day and bow out the next. Consider this the next,” he said. He had a nasty little smirk on his face; I knew this was payback for Grizzly.
Goddamn it. I needed this!
Thinking fast, I walked up to him. I poked out my bottom lip and pressed my breasts against his chest. I slid my hand down between his legs, palming his cock. I felt him stir beneath my hand, and I thought that I had him. Jeremy was usually so easy, even if he was an abusive scumbag more than half the time.
“Jeremy ... please,” I said, looking up at him through my eyelashes. “I’ll do anything ... you know that ...”
He looked like he was going to give in. I thought I saw a glint ... something. But he shoved me off him, and I stumbled back. I glared at him, and he sneered at me, looking like he was pleased with himself for being such an asshole.
“I’ve already had a sample of your pussy, and to be honest? I don’t think it’s worth what you think it is. Don’t come back tomorrow, or I’ll send you on your way with a black eye and a busted ass, and I don’t mean in any way you’ll like, either.”
# # #
I had exactly enough cash for one last night at the motel I was staying at, and a sandwich and a water from the gas station. I’d finished the sandwich and was working on the water, trying to keep it stretched out so that I wouldn’t run out of it too fast. I was walking along the highway, looking at a long stretch up ahead of me with little hope that I was going to come across anyone anytime soon.
I hadn’t bothered to go back to the bar to beg once more for my job from Jeremy. There was no point to it, and what he had said pretty much solidified that I would never, ever work there again.
I wish I could say that I didn’t know what I was going to do, but that would be a lie. I knew exactly what I was going to do: pick up, move on, wait for someone to drive by so I could hitch a ride, and jump off at the next somewhat decent place to lay down my feet, until it was time to pack up and move on again.
It’d been that way since Rodent—since everything back then . I still had nightmares about the war that had torn my world apart. I still had a fear that if I stayed any one place too long I’d get too attached and something just as bad would happen again.
I couldn’t let myself do that.
AsI walked along the highway, my duffle over my shoulder and my tank top knotted up under my breasts as the sun beat down on me, I thought about the night before. I was still shaken that I had seen Grizzly. It had been ... so long. I thought that I had gotten over him, but I had wanted so badly for him to hold me, even if just for a moment. But had I let myself do so, I would have done something stupid. That’s what happened when you thought with your heart (or your pussy, because Lord knew that had been just as thrilled at seeing him as I had been) instead of with your head.
Maybe I should have at least let him kiss me, though ...
The sound of rumbling engines pulled me from my thoughts. I turned my head to the side as I moved a little off the road and saw bikes speeding past me. Catching a glimpse of their kuttes, I see
that they’re wearing the same brand that the Butchers did—a bloody bear ...
My heart beat quickly as I watched them whizz by. One of them was Grizzly—but I hadn’t been able to see which one he was.
As I watched them, I noticed them slow a little, and one of the Butchers pulled up and rolled beside me. I kept walking, and he kept up his pace. I glanced over to him, and he gave me a kissy face. I ignored it, but he didn’t ignore me.
“Hey, cutie. What are you doing out here all by yourself? Someone might think you’re up for grabs.”
“Yeah, well, I’m not,” I said. Except, well, I was. But I couldn’t believe I’d managed to find myself in the path of the Butchers. Again. Why was my luck like this?
“Aw, come on, don’t be like that, sweet cheeks,” he said. He reached out, getting a feel of my ass. I jerked away and slapped his hand away from me.
“Don’t touch me, asshole.”
He tsked at me. “Now, now. Here I was paying you a compliment. Come here and pay me some respect.”
He reached out again, managing to snag his finger in my belt loop and tug me close to him as he stopped his bike completely. I glared at him while he smirked and I put my hands to his chest as he drew me closer.
“Let me go, asshole—”
“Hey, Cutter. The fuck do you think you’re doing?”
I was released immediately, and my attention turned from Cutter to the man who’d spoken. Grizzly.
“Heey, boss.” Cutter looked to Grizzy with an apologetic—barely—grin.
“Ride on, jackass,” Grizzly said. And, unlike when I had told him to kick rocks, he revved his engine and did so. I watched him ride off and catch up with the others, though they lingered a bit. They were watching us too.
I took my attention off of them and turned it back to Grizzly.
“Thanks,” I said awkwardly. “You should probably go before they get impatient.”
“What are you doing out here, Duch—Ana,” he asked, catching himself. I frowned.
“Walking, obviously. It’s totally a nice day out for that.”
“Come on. Why are you hitchhiking out here?”
I huffed.
“Well, it’s not for my health. I got laid off,” I told him.
“Was it because of last night? I can go back and—”
“Grizzly. No.” Last thing I needed was him putting his nose back anywhere to do with Jeremy. I sighed.
“It’s ... fine. Honestly. I’ll just do what I’ve been doing. I’ll be fine. Always am.”
“Come with us.”
My eyes widened. I looked from him, to the other Butchers, and then back to him.
“Are you crazy?”
“It’s not the first time you’d have run with a club.”
“There’s a reason that I don’t anymore.”
“Come with us. With me. Even if it’s just to come into town, so I know you don’t get picked up by some sleaze.”
“And that’s not what you are? A sleaze?”
He put a hand on his chest and looked offended—comically so. I almost cracked a smile.
“Me? A sleaze?”
“Your boy Cutter seemed pretty much enough of a sleaze.”
“Yeah, well, I’ll talk to him about that. Stop changing the subject.” He leaned over. Even on his bike, he was so much taller than me; he truly lived up to his name. Grizzly. Big as a bear and rough like one too ... “Come with me,” he repeated. “At least until we get somewhere off this highway.”
“Where’re you guys headed?”
“Back home.”
“I see ...”
I chewed on my bottom lip and tried to avoid Grizzly’s gaze as he looked at me. It was—well it wasn’t intimidating, but it was intense. It drew me in. It had the same ferocity as the last time I had seen him, when he’d picked me up out of the carnage ...
I looked back to his boys. I looked past them, out to the stretch of road that extended out past them. I knew that I would be out here for a while if I refused, and I probably wouldn’t get a better offer than this one. At least on the back of Grizzly’s bike, I would get as good a badge of protection as anything; I wouldn’t be touched by anyone else, and if I kept hitchhiking the way that I was right now, it was likely I would be picked up by someone strange; it wouldn’t have been the first time, and I wasn’t silly enough to think that it would be the last time, either.
I miss it, though ...
It was the first time that I had allowed myself to think that—the first time that I had admitted it to myself. It was stupid—and it was going against every rule that I had laid out for myself when I’d left. I decided to blame it on necessity and not the way that Grizzly’s gaze sparked fire in me.
I didn’t have to stay. It didn’t even have to be for long. But it would get me off this goddamn road, and maybe I could have a little bit of what I used to before I had to cut out again—before it got too real.
“Okay,” I said. He seemed surprised.
“Okay?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted my answer to be? I could say no—”
“No. No, that’s not what I meant. I thought you were gonna fight me more on it, that’s all.” He nodded behind him. “Hold on to your bag and hop on. We got a couple stops to make and then we’ll be back. You remember how to ride, don’t you?”
I scoffed. “Of course I do.” How could I forget?”
I slid on the back of his bike, settling myself snuggly behind him. My arms could barely go around him, and that made me feel good—that he was so big and solid. I pressed against him and I could swear that he drew in a breath before he revved up his bike and zipped up to the front of his crew, heading the pack.
I laid my head against his back, breathed in his scent, and for the first time in a long time, I felt relaxed.
Chapter Three Grizzly
I had never ridden with Ana before. She’d belonged to Rodent, back before he was killed. Madly in love, they were, but I’d always felt like there was something underlying that could have happened between us if she’d stayed, and I’d fantasized more than once about what it would have been like to have her on my bike.
Now that I had it, I knew dreaming didn’t hold a candle to having the real thing—not in the slightest. She wrapped around me and was barely able to get her arms all the way around. She was so soft, and I could have sworn she trembled.
Our whole ride from then on consisted of me trying my damnedest not to get too distracted by her—by way her tiny little frame pressed against me, or by the warmth of her breasts against my back, or with how her fingers dug into my sides a little every now and then. By the time we got to the hotel that we were putting down at that night, I was wired, more than I’d ever been.
We all rolled up. Highway Inn wasn’t anything special, but it housed me and my boys without a fuss, and they let us bring girls if we wanted. Hell, some of the hotel staff weren’t new to us.
She slid off and stood, her legs a little shaky, but Ana didn’t look like she was scared.
“Been a while?” I guessed.
She nodded.
“Yeah, just a little. I don’t usually run with clubs anymore.”
“Well, there’s never a wrong time to get back in it.”
She gave me a look, but didn’t say anything. Her eyes were trained on the boys, like she was taking note of each of them.
“There’s fewer than there used to be ...” she muttered.
“Yeah. After all the business that went down ...I thought that it would be best to keep the number small, but the unit tight. Strength in power, and power ain’t always numbers, you know.”
“Smart.”
“I thought so.”
I steered her toward the front door, my arm over her shoulder. It just settled there naturally, and she pressed into my side just as such. I hoped it was because she wanted to be there and not because she was uncomfortable otherwise.
“Room thirteen,” I said to the man behind the counter. He
already had the room key out, knowing who I was; this wasn’t a new thing. I took it with a smirk, and led Ana through the hall.
We were quiet, and it gave me time to think. I had to convince her to stay for good. It had been a long time, but what did that matter? There was obviously a reason that we had crossed paths again. Maybe this time around I could be what I hadn’t been before.
“Here we are.” We came to the room, and I unlocked it, letting her in first. She turned on the light on the way in, setting her bag down gently.
