She rolled to the edge of the bed and saw the tee shirt he’d given her to wear laying on the floor near the door. She quietly snuck out of the bed to grab it and swiftly put it on. She couldn’t help but notice the Porter scent that wafted over her as she pulled it over her head. It smelled of aftershave and wood. She inhaled deeply trying to soak the sexy scent in. She looked down at the shirt, noticing the words “Lincoln City” written right over her heart. It looked as though the shirt was once a dull blue, but had now faded to a grey color. It was obviously well-worn and soft from being washed so much.
Once she was clothed, she walked softly around the bed over to the picture window to admire the view. All she could see were trees and ocean, forever. Greens and browns melded into the gray-blue of the sea. Waves were rolling in and out and a few boats speckled the surface of the water.
“That is definitely my new favorite shirt.”
She heard Porter’s voice and turned around. He was lying on his side, looking at her. She looked down at the shirt she was wearing.
“This one?”
“Yeah, that one. I’ll never forget the way you look wearing it.”
“Hmm. It’s a little short,” she smiled.
“Yeah. I know,” he grinned. She walked over to him and sat down on the very edge of the bed. He brought his arms around her waist, with his head in her lap. She looked down at him and ran her fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes and leaned into her hand. They sat that way, quiet and content, for a few minutes. Finally, she leaned down, kissed him gently on the mouth and then stood up to find her dress. “What time does your sister come in today?” He asked from the bed as she started to gather her things.
“Well, she’s driving out after her morning class, so maybe like eleven? I’m not really sure but I should probably get back to the house.” She had found all the pieces to her outfit from the night before, so she went to the bathroom to change. She had put herself back together and then caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She was smiling. She hadn’t even realized it.
She looked like she had just spent a very satisfying night with a man. Her hair was crazy, her make-up was long gone, and she would be leaving his house in the light of the early morning wearing a pretty fancy cocktail dress. She had never done the walk of shame in college but she was pretty sure this was a good comparable experience. But she was still smiling. She thought about how she had agreed to more than just last night; she wouldn’t write this experience off to just a rebound. Porter could be pretty convincing when he wanted to be. He had shown her a new level of intimacy she hadn’t really believed existed and now, the dreaded morning after when she should feel awkward and removed, she felt confident, cherished, and still a little bit sexy.
She pulled her crazy hair up into a less crazy, but still out of control, bun. She walked out of the bathroom and saw him leaning up against the door frame of the bedroom waiting for her. He had gotten dressed and looked just fantastic in a simple pair of jeans and a tee shirt. Ella smiled as she thought about how unfair it was that he looked normal while if anyone saw her, it would be obvious how she had spent her evening. She embraced her new found confidence by walking over to him and leaning up to place a gentle peck on his kissable mouth. He smiled as she pulled away.
“See, now aren’t you glad you didn’t bolt on me last night?” He asked.
“Mmm, yes, for multiple reasons. Thank you for talking some sense into me.”
Porter laughed, “Damn, I thought I had sexed some sense into you.”
“Well, that, too,” Ella smiled. She leaned up again to kiss him again, but this kiss went much deeper than gentle. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her to him as she did the same around his neck. He pulled away and leaned his forehead against hers.
“How long is your sister in town for?” He breathed.
“Just for the night.”
“So, I can have you back tomorrow?”
The answer was simple, “Yes.”
They left Porter’s house and she found herself daydreaming as she watched the ocean through the window of his truck. Small snapshots of their night kept flashing through her mind. Even though most of them were totally hot, more than a few were sweet and tender. The times she remembered him stroking her face or looking into her eyes. Goosebumps rose up on her arms and she glanced over at Porter curiously. He caught her looking, smiled, and reached over to hold her hand. She looked down at their linked fingers and there was something floating around in her brain that kept nagging her. Everything felt so effortless. Being with him was so easy. There were butterflies, but no apprehension. There was excitement, but no nervousness. There was certainty, because there was no doubt. How long could this last? She thought perhaps she should continue down her path of carefree abandon and let things happen as they happen without letting expectations muddle everything up.
After they pulled up to her house, she smiled as he got out of the truck and came to open her door. She was beginning to really appreciate some of his chivalrous tendencies. She hopped down from his truck and they continued up her porch. She unlocked the door and turned to him.
“Thank you again for such a beautiful dinner and the amazing cheesecake,” she said as she leaned into him, placing her hands on his chest.
“My pleasure,” he said as he placed a very small and sweet kiss on her lips. “Mind of I text you later?”
A smile crept across her face although she tried her best to hide it, “Sure. Have a good day at work.” He kissed her one last time and then turned towards his truck. She watched him get in and drive away before she went inside.
A few hours later, she had showered and felt much more like herself. She had on a comfy pair of jeans and a dark blue tee shirt. She was downstairs straightening up the living room when she heard a knock on the door. When she opened it, she was accosted by her sister’s loud and forceful greeting.
“Fella!” Her sister threw her arms around her in a giant hug. No matter how many years passed, or how old Megan was, she had always called her ‘Fella’. Ella gave herself a smirk, knowing she’d kept her nickname from Porter, but she figured he’d find out about it eventually.
“Hey, Megs. How was the drive?”
“Pretty predictable. City. Fields. Trees. Beach. Same drive, different day.” Ella and her family were no strangers to the beach and it was true that the drive was pretty boring. “This is a cute house.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of big for just one person, but since I was expecting two…” Ella trailed off, not really knowing where to go from here.
“Ella, I am so sorry about Kyle. Have you talked to him?”
“No, not since we officially broke up.” Megan looked like she wanted to say something but was holding back. She was twirling her hair around her finger which was her nervous habit. “What’s going on, Megan?”
“What? Nothing. I’m fine,” she said full of guilt.
“You’re a terrible liar. Tell me what’s going on.” Megan exhaled loudly and then walked over to the couch and sat down.
“Don’t be mad at me.”
“Megan, just tell me what you did.”
“I spoke with him.”
“Ok,” the word crawled out slowly. “What did you talk about?”
“You, of course.”
“Oh my gosh, Megan,” she said, exasperated. “What specifically did you talk about?”
“Well, you told me to text him about the bed and I did that for you, but about 5 minutes later he called me. Ella, he sounded really torn up about everything. He sounded like he had been crying. I felt really bad for him.”
Ella knew she probably looked ridiculous; her face was scrunched up in confusion. She was a little taken aback that Megan had spoken to Kyle about their issues, but was a little more confused by the fact that Megan sounded like she was taking his side.
“Megan, of course he was upset. He got caught – really red handed – cheating on me, and we broke up. We spent four years toget
her. I would expect anyone to be upset about it.”
“You don’t look too upset about it,” Megan said, coldly. Ella snapped her head up to look at her sister.
“Listen, Megan, I don’t have to justify my feelings to you,” she said calmly. “It is too bad that Kyle is taking the break up hard, but I was upset too. I had my own breakdown. But it’s probably different for me. I left him, Megan. He probably didn’t anticipate getting caught and now he has to deal with it. But I’m not going to let you make me feel guilty for breaking up with him after I caught him in a sweaty romp session with another woman, got it?”
Megan looked at the floor, and then back at Ella. “I’m sorry. I just thought when I came here I’d find you a little more upset and I thought maybe I could get you back together with Kyle. You guys were together for so long. Aren’t you sad?” Ella walked over to where her sister was sitting on the couch and sat down next to her.
“It turns out, I’ve been sad for a really long time. I just wasn’t really admitting it to myself, or anyone else.” Ella took in a deep breath and then let it out. “Kyle and I weren’t happy, Megs, and we hadn’t been for a while. I think we were just together because it was what was comfortable for us.”
“But don’t you love him?” Ella thought for a moment, trying to understand why her sister was so invested in her and Kyle’s relationship.
“Of course I love him. I spent four years with him and shared a lot of my life with him, but I’m not in love with him anymore. Both he and I deserve better than that. I deserve to be in a relationship with someone who cares about me enough not to sleep with some bimbo.” Megan wouldn’t look her in the eye and kept her own eyes down.
Finally, in a voice so low and so shallow Ella could hardly hear her, Megan asked, “How did you know the difference between just loving him and being in love with him?”
“Megan, what’s going on?” Megan continued to look down at the ground with her elbows on her knees and placed her head in her hands. She was really starting to worry Ella; she’d never seen her sister act this way. “Is everything ok with you and Patrick?” Megan looked up from her hands.
“Yes. Everything is fine with Patrick right now. All of this trouble with Kyle is really freaking me out though. If you and Kyle can have this many problems and break up, what if that happens with Patrick and me?” All of a sudden it became very clear to Ella what the real issue was. Ella wrapped her arm around Megan’s shoulders and looked her in the eyes.
“Megan, what happened between Kyle and I won’t happen to you and Patrick. Kyle and I didn’t do the work we needed to stay together. We felt ourselves drifting apart and we waited too long to fix it. We should have worked harder at being together and making each other happy. And he shouldn’t have cheated. We shouldn’t have taken our relationship for granted. There are so many things that went wrong that were preventable or fixable, but we both just got too focused on our jobs, or life, and just assumed that the other would always be around. That’s all.”
Megan looked at her with tears welled in her eyes.
“But you guys were perfect for each other.”
“If we were perfect for each other then he wouldn’t have cheated on me. Trust me on this, Megs. Kyle and I are better off this way. We weren’t giving each other what we needed. Now we both have a chance to find someone who gives us everything. If you don’t want to end up like us, just make sure that you love Patrick more than anything. Try every day to make your relationship better, even on the bad days make sure you’re always moving forward with each other.” Ella paused for a minute to let her sister soak up everything she was saying. She smoothed down Megan’s hair, trying to comfort her. “Megan, are you in love with Partick?”
Megan sniffled a little. “Yes. I love him more than anything,” she said as she looked back up at Ella.
“I know Patrick feels the same way about you. He is head over heels in love with you. Just make sure he always knows you feel the same way about him. Don’t let life get in the way of making him your first priority.”
Ella felt an ache in her chest for her sister and didn’t want to see her worried about her own relationship just because she and Kyle couldn’t keep theirs together. She hadn’t even considered the possibility that her sister would be so affected by her failed relationship. It hurt her heart tremendously. She continued to hug her sister until she had calmed down, and seemed to be feeling a little less distressed. It was obvious they were both in need of some serious sister time. For the next twenty-four hours she would make sure her sister was having a good time and not worrying herself sick over love.
“Come on, Megs. Let’s get out of here. It’s a predictably chilly day at the beach. Let’s go get some lunch and then we can go walk around the shops at the waterfront.” Megan wiped the residual wetness from below her eyes and smiled up at Ella.
“That sounds awesome. I will go freshen up a little.”
“Ok. You can have the room at the top of the stairs to the left.” She watched Megan go up the stairs and then she exhaled loudly. She hadn’t expected her sister to have a mild breakdown and it was emotionally taxing to watch her go through it.
She decided that while she had a few minutes she would call her store, just to check in and make sure everything was going well. She dialed the number and someone answered on the first ring.
“Thanks for calling Poppy. How can I help you?”
“Hey, Brittany. It’s Ella.”
“Oh, hi Ella. How’s the beach trip?”
“It’s going well. How is the store holding up?”
“We’re doing great here, no issues. It’s been pretty steady but nothing Sarah and I can’t handle.” Ella released a small breath she wasn’t aware she was holding. She knew her staff was capable but she likened it to leaving your child with someone for an extended period of time. She just needed to check in to make sure the place hadn’t burned to the ground.
“Great. Just remember that tomorrow the freight will come in, so make sure you – “
“Sort it, tag it and stock it. Yes, Ella, we’ve got it. I don’t want you to worry about the store. Enjoy your vacation. If anything comes up and we need you, we will call,” she said sweetly. Ella was a little surprised about how Brittany had put her in her place. Maybe the girls deserved a raise. It was something she’d look at next week when she got back to the store.
“You’re right, Brittany. Thank you so much for being there for the store while I’m away. Thank Sarah for me too. Don’t work too hard.”
“No problem, Ella. See you next week!” As Brittany disconnected the call Megan came down the stairs.
“Ready to go?” Megan looked fresh and not anything like the teary girl who had been on the couch not ten minutes ago.
“I’m ready if you are,” Ella answered.
“Sweet, let’s get out of here.”
It was a beautiful afternoon on the Oregon coast. The sun was trying to poke out from behind the clouds, but the wind was blowing making it chilly still. It was almost like a mandatory uniform on the beach for people to wear hoodies or sweatshirts displaying their favorite beach town. Everywhere you looked someone’s shirt said ‘Seaside’, ‘Newport’, or ‘Lincoln City’. No matter how cold it was, if the sun was out people were on the beach. A few hardy souls braved the water, which was never warmer than frigid even at the height of summer. Children could be seen digging in the sand, building sand castles, erecting tunnels, or burying each other to their necks. Kites were everywhere. You could see anything from a small child flying a Mickey Mouse kite, to a troop of professional trick kite flyers, entertaining everyone on the beach. Oregonians took their kites very seriously.
Megan and Ella had enjoyed lunch together, chatting about Megan’s wedding plans and school. The depressing thoughts from their earlier conversation forgotten, which was typical for Megan. She was quick to get upset over something, but could dismiss it just as quickly. They had gone to the waterfront where there were cute little shops
that lined the main road right along the harbor. Most of the stores sold silly souvenirs, but you could always find really beautiful artwork and jewelry in the higher end stores. And of course, there was no shortage of salt water taffy which Megan would live off of if allowed. The candy store painted a bright pink color had been their first stop and now Ella was stuck listening to her sister chew the taffy.
“Megan, please. You sound like a cow. Close your mouth.”
“Sorry,” Megan giggled. They had left a little shop and were walking down the sidewalk when Ella saw a very familiar set of broad shoulders walking towards her. Porter noticed her just a second or two after she saw him and she couldn’t miss the heart dropping, stomach churning smile that graced his face.
“Ella, hi,” Porter said smoothly. “I wasn’t expecting to see you around today.” Ella blushed a little, mainly because she couldn’t look at him without thinking about him naked.
“Hello, Porter. What a nice surprise.” Ella heard her sister clear her throat and then Megan nudged her with her elbow. Remembering her manners, Ella turned to motion towards her sister. “Porter, this is my sister, Megan. Megan, this is Porter.”
“Well, hello Porter. Nice to meet you.” Megan looked back and forth between Ella and Porter. Ella was fully aware of the awkwardness surrounding them but she couldn’t help the smile plastered on her face. “How do you two know each other?”
Ella gave Porter a sly smile, “Um. Well…”
“I rescued Ella Friday night,” he said with uncompromised confidence.
“Rescued is a bit of an exaggeration, Porter,” Ella teased, shooting one of her eyebrows up at him.
Never Close Enough Page 9
