Safe With Me

by Kristen Proby

  We’ll be back at Bryn’s tonight.

  I sigh and let my eyes travel over her face, down to her breast that’s pressed firmly to my ribcage through her thin nightshirt and farther down to her waist. I can’t seem to say no to her, even when it’s for her own good, and I’m afraid that that will be my greatest mistake.

  She is my weakness, but she strengthens me too. It’s the damndest thing.

  The reminder of last night’s nightmare rocks through me and I clench my eyes closed and hug her tightly against me.

  Jesus fucking Christ, I could have killed her. What is wrong with me? Yeah, war fucking sucks, but you come home and you get on with your life.

  You don’t jump like a pussy over every loud noise and you for damn sure don’t try to choke out the woman that means more to you than life itself.

  I press my lips and nose to her hair and inhale deeply, letting her sweet scent of vanilla and lavender fill my head and soothe me.

  All I have to do is smell her and I’m calmer, yet I know I should pull away from her altogether. She and the girls need someone who’s not so fucked up in the head. They deserve someone that doesn’t lose his shit in crowds and have nightmares that make him want to shit the bed.

  But the thought of someone else holding Brynna like this, or watching her two girls grow up into young women, makes me even more crazy in the head.

  I pull back and look down into sleepy brown eyes. She’s watching me lazily, and has begun to rub her hand up and down my side. She pushes one of those long legs between my own.

  “’Mornin’,” she mumbles.

  “Good mornin’, Legs.” I kiss her forehead and pull my pelvis back as she drags her hand down from my side to my dick, enjoying my morning wood.

  “Stop,” I whisper and pull her hand up to my lips. “I can’t.”

  “What do you mean?” She asks with a frown.

  “Not yet.” I shake my head and lace my fingers with hers, holding her hand close to my chest. “I need to say something.”

  “Okay,” she mutters and settles against me, not letting me go, which is a good sign.

  I couldn’t bare it if she was afraid to be close to me.

  “I just want to say something about last night,” I begin and frown as I try to gather my thoughts. She just waits quietly, not moving, not tensing up. Just waiting for me. “I’m so sorry that I hurt you and scared all of you.”

  She opens her mouth to argue but I lean in and press my lips softly to hers, shutting her up.

  “You are the strongest person I’ve ever met, Brynna,” I whisper against her lips. “And I’ve met some damn strong people. You surprise me, and you humble me, and I’m grateful to be here with all of you.”

  Before she can respond, I kiss her again, more deeply now, and feel my cock harden in anticipation of sliding inside her.

  Except, it’s going to be disappointed to find that it’ll be going without this morning.

  Right now, this moment, is all about her.

  I gently push her onto her back and pull away so I can examine the light purple marks around her neck.

  “I’m fine,” she murmurs, but I look up into her chocolate eyes with sadness and regret. “I’m. Fine.”

  I lower my gaze again and tip her chin up with my finger, gaining access to press light, tender kisses to her bruised skin. She purrs low in her throat and kneads the muscles of my shoulders as I move down her chest, licking and kissing her lazily. Her nipples pebble beneath her thin tank and I grip the hem and pull it up, exposing her perfect tits to my mouth. I suck and torment her, making her moan again.

  “Caleb,” she whispers.

  “Shhh.” I blow on the wet buds, making them pucker more and then continue on my quest down her slightly rounded stomach, kissing along the waistline to each hip, up each side, counting her ribs with my tongue. She boosts her hips up as I snag the hem of the shorts in my fingers and drag them, along with her panties, over her hips, down her long legs, and toss them onto the floor.

  “Do we have time for this?” she breathes and clenches the sheets in her fists.

  “Oh, I think so,” I assure her and push her legs together and up, my hands pressed to the backs of her thighs, so her knees meet her chest. I lower my head and lick her, from her anus, through her sopping wet lips and to her already-swollen clit.

  “God, you taste fucking amazing,” I growl and repeat the motion again. She slaps her hands over mine, gripping me and pulling her legs even closer to her chest as I lap at her pussy.

  I feel her start to quiver, and her legs begin to tremble beneath my hands. I release her and spread her wide, gazing up at her as I wrap my lips around her clit and suck rhythmically. Two fingers plunge inside her and she begins to buck beneath me, pushing her pussy against my hand and face, shaking her head back and forth on the pillow, her dark hair a riot around her sweet face, coming apart.

  Her muscles squeeze me beautifully, and I want nothing more than to sink inside her and ride her hard until I come, but we definitely don’t have time for that.

  I continue to kiss her lips and clit gently, her thighs and pubis, as she pants and combs her fingers through my hair, scrubbing my scalp with her fingernails.

  Before she can ask me to make love to her, I climb up her long body, kiss her deeply and then push away, sauntering to the bathroom with my shorts jutting out like a tent.

  “Hey!” She exclaims.

  “What?” I toss a smile over my shoulder.

  “You’re not done.”

  “I’m fine,” I respond, pausing by the doorway to look back at her. I love seeing her on my bed, all rosy cheeked and satisfied.

  My girl.

  “We have to get the girls up and leave soon.” I sober and watch her silently for a moment. She sighs and pushes herself from the bed and walks to me, wrapping herself around me in a big hug.

  “They’ll be fine, Caleb. Just be honest with them.” She grabs my hand and pulls me into the bathroom behind her. “We’ll finish what you started in the shower. Conserve water, and all that.”

  I grin down into her happy eyes, cringing inside. What will I say to Maddie and Josie?

  How do I explain what I don’t understand myself?

  “You go ahead, Legs. We’ll conserve water another time.”

  She frowns up at me in confusion. Hell, I’m confused too. I just know that I’m not ready to make love to her again. Not yet.

  “Another time,” I repeat and kiss her hair before making a hasty retreat; before I lose my resolve and pull her into that hot shower and lose myself in her.

  ***

  “Girls, wake up,” I croon gently from the doorway, not wanting to startle them. Brynna is standing next to me, her hand on my low back. “You should wake them up,” I whisper to her.

  “Stop worrying,” she whispers back with a small smile.

  “Caleb!” Maddie jumps from the bed as soon as she opens her eyes and sees me. She runs over and wraps her arms around my waist, holding me tight.

  I glance up at Josie and my heart stops. She’s sitting straight up in bed, her brown eyes – the same as her mom’s – wide and staring at me. She pulls her doll into her lap and hugs her tight.

  She’s scared.

  “Good morning, buttercup,” I murmur down to Maddie and squat down so I’m eye level with her. “How are you this morning?”

  “I have to pee.”

  “Well then you should go,” I chuckle at her and usher her through the door and turn to Josie. “Hey, jellybean.”

  She turns her wide eyes to her mom and then back to me and stays silent. Brynna crosses to her and sits on the bed with her, running her hand down Josie’s long dark brown locks.

  “Josie, it’s okay, sweetie.”

  “You hurt my mom,” she whispers and clasps her lips tightly together when they start to quiver.

  “I didn’t mean to, Josie, I swear.” I walk closer to the bed but she flinches and cowers into Brynna’s arms, so I stand where I am a
nd shove my hands in my pockets, feeling like a complete asshole and out of my element.

  Now what?

  Maddie comes bouncing back in the room and climbs up on the bed, looking back and forth between Josie and me.

  “Josie,” Brynna murmurs softly. “It’s okay, baby.”

  She shakes her head, frowning, clinging to her mom. She won’t meet my eyes.

  She’s punishing me.

  And she should. Fuck, I wouldn’t trust me either.

  “It’s okay, Bryn,” I mutter and smile reassuringly at the girls. “Let’s get going. You all need to get to school and work, and so do I.”

  I turn and leave the room, my heart shattering into a million pieces.

  ***

  “You don’t have to walk me in,” Brynna tells me with a roll of the eyes. “Isaac is right there.”

  “I don’t care. I’m walking you to the door,” I inform her and hold the car door open for her as she climbs out of my car.

  We dropped the kids off at school ten minutes ago. Josie still won’t speak to me, but Maddie made up for both of them, hardly stopping to take a breath all morning.

  “What the hell happened to you?” Isaac asks as we walk into the office.

  “Bite me,” I respond and flip him the bird.

  “You look like hell.” He leans back in his chair and laces his fingers behind his head, scrutinizing me with narrowed eyes.

  “Back at you,” I reply and watch Bryn as she sets her bag in the bottom drawer of her desk and sits in her chair. She wore a turtle-neck top to hide the bruise on her neck, but when I look at her, they’re like a shining beacon, reminding me what kind of monster I am. “Matt will pick you up at two thirty, and then the two of you will go get the kids from school.”

  “I work a job, Caleb,” she reminds me, her eyes wide with frustration.

  “I know your boss,” I smirk and glance at Isaac. “She’ll be getting off early to go get the girls and go home with Matt.”

  “Fine by me,” he shrugs and leans forward, grabbing his coffee mug.

  Brynna curses us both under her breath, making us both laugh hard.

  She’s fucking adorable.

  “I gotta go to work myself,” I wince when I check the time on my watch. “I’ll see you this evening.”

  “Bye, dear,” Isaac calls after me, and I throw him the bird again, slamming the door behind me.

  As I slide into the driver’s seat and start the car, I call up Matt’s number through the blue-tooth and dial.

  He needs a heads up.

  “’lo?” He mutters, his voice gravely with sleep.

  “Wake up, man.”

  “What’s wrong?” He asks, his voice more alert and I can hear rustling in the background as it sounds like he sits up in bed.

  “There’s no emergency, I just need to give you a heads up because if Brynna doesn’t say something to you this afternoon, one of the girls probably will, and I want you to hear it from me first.”

  Jesus, I’m babbling.

  “You’re a moron?” Matt asks dryly.

  “No, asshole. I had a nightmare last night.” I swallow hard, remembering coming to and Brynna pinned beneath me, her eyes bulging and red, gasping for breath.

  Fuck me.

  “Are you okay?” He asks softly.

  “I’m fine, but I hurt Brynna and scared the girls.”

  “Damn,” he mutters with a sigh. “What happened?”

  As I explain the events, Matt quietly listens, never interrupting me to ask questions.

  “And this morning, Brynna’s acting like everything’s perfectly normal. Maddie was fine too. Josie’s not convinced. She was scared and isn’t speaking to me.” The thought of that still brings an ache the size of Montana to my chest.

  “You know it’s not your fault, right?” He asks.

  “Whose fault is it then, Matt?” I ask angrily and absently rub my hand over my sternum. “I’m the one who had my hand around her neck. She has fucking bruises! If I were you I’d want to kick my ass.”

  “You were dead asleep, Caleb.”

  “That’s no motherfucking excuse!” God, I’m just so angry. How could I do that to them? “How can she be so calm about it? How can she act like it’s okay?”

  “Have you asked her?” Matt asks calmly.

  “No,” I sigh.

  “You two are so damn stupid,” Matt laughs ruefully.

  “What does that mean?”

  “It’s clear that she handled it so well because she’s in love with you, Caleb. You two are crazy about each other. You have been for months.”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “The hell it doesn’t. I don’t believe for a minute that you’re having sex with her just because she’s convenient.”

  Just the thought of that makes me want to punch him in the throat.

  “I didn’t say…”

  “You deserve to be happy as much as anyone else, man,” he interrupts, hitting the nail square on the head.

  Leave it to Matt to voice what’s going on in my head.

  “And if you don’t claim her and those little girls as yours, someone else will be more than happy to.”

  “Fuck you,” I mutter without any real feeling behind it. He’s right.

  “Nah, you’re not my type,” he responds. “Thanks for the heads up, man. I’m gonna catch a few more hours sleep before I have to get Brynna and the girls.”

  “Okay. Thanks. I’ll see you later.”

  I hang up and turn down the windy road that leads to the training compound that I now work out of.

  The only good thing about getting out of the Navy is now being self-employed. I choose my hours with Redwire, the independent civilian company that works with the military in war-zones. I’ve been training their newbies in weaponry and marksmanship for a few months. They know that I’m one of the best in the field, which is why I make way more money now than I ever did as a SEAL.

  Men and women in the military are pitifully underpaid.

  Another bonus of this particular job is working with men who were either on my SEAL team, or were experts in other branches of the military.

  Only the best of the best work here.

  The training compound is twenty minutes south of Seattle in a remote area, away from businesses and residential homes. I park my car and walk into the main building to check my mail and check in with the owner.

  “What’s up, Mongtomery?” Jim Peterson nods from his office. He and I were on SEAL team five together ten years ago. He’s a scary man when he wants to be, and knows his shit.

  “Hey, man,” I respond and shake his hand. “Sorry to leave you short handed.”

  He shrugs. “It’s fine. Markinson is taking the classes on the days you’re out. He’s not as good as you, but we’re muddling through.”

  “Thanks.”

  He nods once and points to the chair in front of his desk. “Have a seat.”

  “Why do I feel like I’m being called the principal’s office?” I smirk as I sit in the chair and cross one ankle over the opposite knee.

  “How are things?” He asks, his face serious.

  “Fine.”

  “Bullshit,” he counters.

  I sigh deeply and scrub my hands over my face. “Do I look that bad?”

  “Worse,” he responds with a laugh. “I haven’t seen you look this shitty since Columbia.” His smile fades as we stare at each other, remembering the particularly dangerous mission in Columbia almost a decade ago, when we were supposed to rescue three American women who were being held hostage by the Columbian drug cartel.

  The mission was FUBAR before we ever set boots on Columbian soil.

  “Nightmares,” I sigh and shrug and Peterson nods in understanding.

  “There are people to talk to about that, you know.”

  I shrug and exhale. “I’m okay. I’ve been doing better. Last night was just rough.”

  He stares at me for along moment. “Okay. Have you talke
d to Kramer lately?” He asks, mercifully changing the subject. Kramer is another former teammate who also lives in the area and trains military working dogs for SEALs now.

  “Not in a while. What’s up?” I ask.

  “He has to leave town for about a month for an assignment. He needs to find a place for Bix while he’s gone.”

  “How is Bix?” I ask and grin as I think of the dog. Loyal, fearless and one of the best sailors I’ve had the pleasure of working with.

  “He’s good. He’s not deployable.” Peterson grimaces and shakes his head. “But he’s good. Do you think you could take him for a few weeks?”

  “I’ll see what I can do. I’d better get out to the guys.” I stand and shake his hand. “Thanks, sir.”

  “You’re welcome, Sergeant.”

  ***

  ~Brynna~

  “Show me,” Matt commands from behind the steering wheel as I settle in the passenger seat.

  “Show you what?” I ask.

  He cocks an eyebrow and watches me with those amazing Montgomery blue eyes, hands laced and resting in his lap.

  “I won’t ask again,” he murmurs calmly and never breaks eye contact with me.

  It’s unnerving.

  I cast my eyes down and pull my red turtle-neck away from my throat, showing him the bruise and then quickly replace it and pull my seatbelt on.

  “How did you know?” I ask, not meeting his gaze.

  He starts the car, throws it into gear, and zooms out of the parking lot with more force than I expect, given his calm demeanor.

  “Caleb called me,” he responds quietly and glances over at me. “Talk to me.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Talk to me.”

  His voice is firm, not to be reckoned with. I sigh in defeat and sag in the seat, dropping my face in my hands.

  “It was horrible,” I whisper. “Scared me.”

  He rests his hand on my thigh and squeezes reassuringly. “Has he had nightmares with you before?”

  “Never,” I reply immediately, shaking my head adamantly. “He sleeps hard. Soundly.”

  “Really?” Matt asks, looking at me in surprise. “He hasn’t slept well in a long time.”