I flinched, surprised.
“I read all day Sunday. Have you finished it?”
“Yeah.” I looked away and drummed my fingers on my notebook, wishing the professor would hurry up.
“What did you think? Did you like it?”
“It was alright,” I said.
“I thought it was awesome.”
“Yeah, all that violence and cannibalism is something else,” I said sarcastically.
His mouth twisted to one side, displeased with my comment. Good, maybe if he got aggravated with me, he would leave me alone.
“That’s not why I liked it,” he said. “I thought the relationship between the father and son was very . . . tender.”
I blinked and looked back at him, surprised by his insightful comment. Our eyes locked, and I wondered for a second if he wasn’t the shallow person I considered him to be. Then he winked at me, and the spell was broken.
After five minutes waiting, the TA came by to tell us that the professor was out sick, but he had sent an assignment to be worked on in pairs during the class. I groaned.
“If you don’t want to pair up with me, I can find somebody else,” Sebastian said, startling me with his directness.
My mouth opened but nothing came out. I wanted him to go away, to leave me to my quiet, uncomplicated college existence. But I hated to be rude, I hated the idea that he would leave and eventually start to hate me. I shouldn’t have cared, but I am such a people pleaser.
“I know you don’t like me,” he said when I didn’t say anything. “You think I’m . . . a player.”
I froze. Did he know something about our club? Had he found out somehow? The purpose of the club was supposed to be kept secret by all its members, but maybe he’d found out somehow.
“You don’t trust me,” he continued.
Remembering what he’d said about honesty, I decided to go along with it. “That’s a fair statement.”
The girl next to me passed over the stack of papers. I took one sheet and handed the rest to Sebastian. After taking a copy for himself, he passed them to the next row.
“I’ve given you no reason to distrust me,” he said, reading over the assignment.
I huffed.
“I know Jessica is your roommate, and you’ve been friends for . . . a year? Right?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“I think you’re worried about your friend. You think I’m playing games with her, but I assure you, it’s the other way around.”
The way he said it made me wonder if he did know something about the club. Still, everything he’d said made sense, even if he was in the dark about it.
After handing out the assignment, the TA left and several of the students started to do the same. I looked around and wondered if I should leave as well.
“It says here,” Sebastian read the handout, black lashes curtaining his green eyes, “the assignment is due right after class.” He looked up. “We have to bring it to his office.”
“Well, let’s get to it then.” I opened my notebook to a clean page.
“Okay, just one last thing. I saw you at the food court last night, as you were leaving. Just before that, Jessica told me she wanted to feel how soft my hair was. I didn’t agree to it. She ran her fingers through my hair anyway. I wanted you to know that.”
With that, he started reading the handout out loud.
Chapter 12
Sebastian and I finished our English assignment ten minutes before class ended. He offered to take it to the professor’s office, saying he didn’t have another class until after lunch. Since I had biology class in a few minutes, I accepted.
All day long, I thought about Jessica touching Sebastian’s hair without his permission. I hated that I believed him and felt unbalanced by his directness. I knew I should talk to Jessica about it. Not doing so went against all our rules, but then I wondered why she wasn’t talking to me. Communication was a two-way street, and clearly there was something fishy about all of this.
At work, I received the slightly more dignified assignment of changing the garbage bags in all the patients’ rooms. Hoping to spend some time with Hunter, I planned his room for the end of my rounds. When I got there, I was taken aback to find it empty. My heart tightened inside my chest at the sight of his stripped bed. Telling myself not to freak out, I went to the nurses’ station, praying to hear he’d been discharged.
“Hi,” I told the gray-haired nurse who sat behind the counter.
She looked up from the computer screen.
“Hey,” she said in a sweet tone. “You’re Maddie, right?”
“Yes.”
“I’ve heard you’ve been doing a great job around here.” She winked at me. “I’m Meg.”
“Thank you. Nice to meet you, Meg. Um, listen, the little boy that was in room 325, is he okay?”
“Oh, Hunter.”
“Mm-hmm.”
Her smile disappeared. My throat suddenly closed up tight.
“He’s in the I.C.U.”
I put a hand over my mouth. “Is he alright?” I asked between my fingers. “I mean, can you tell me?” I knew about all the privacy regulations, but I still hoped she would tell me.
Meg smiled, and I thought she hadn’t heard me. She replied, “Hunter asks about you all the time,” she said. “Wants to know when your next shift is all the time. His eyes get really big and dreamy when he talks about you.” The nurse chuckled sadly. “You must be doing something right. He’s not very open with anybody else.” I was confused. This was sweet, but… was he okay?!
Meg looked around to make sure no one was within earshot, then came around the counter. “They took him to the I.C.U. this morning,” she whispered. “He started coughing on Sunday and having more trouble breathing. His lungs filled up with fluid again.”
“Is he going to be okay?” I asked in a squeaky voice.
“I couldn’t tell you. We see everything around here. It’s not easy.” Her tone was regretful.
I tried to swallow, but my throat would have none of it. My lower lip trembled.
“If I hear anything, I’ll let you know.” Meg patted my shoulder.
“Thank you,” I murmured.
Trying to keep it together, I walked out of there. I changed out of my scrubs in a hurry and took the emergency exit. When I reached the second-to-last flight of stairs, my legs faltered. I lowered myself onto one of the steps and buried my face in my hands, fighting back tears.
All I could think about was how we never finished watching that movie and how we might never get a chance to do so. He was just a boy, a sweet, smart boy. He had to be okay. I repeated that over and over again. I beat myself up for not checking on him on Sunday. What if his parents hadn’t had the chance to visit him?
He had to be okay.
The metal door in front of me opened. I looked up.
I shook my head, bewildered. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
Sebastian looked just as surprised as I was.
“What are you doing here?”
“I work here.”
“Oh.” He looked at me closer. “Hey, are you okay?” Sebastian came to sit next to me, turning to face my way.
I avoided eye contact.
He put a finger under my chin, gently lifting until I looked at him.
“Were you crying? Why were you crying?”
“It’s nothing.”
“I don’t think you’re the type of girl who would cry over nothing. What’s wrong?”
I shook my head.
“Everything okay back home?’
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Okay. Um, do you hurt somewhere?”
“No, I don’t hurt anywhere.” I laughed sadly.
“Then what? Tell me, woman!”
“I’m fine. What about you? What are you doing at the hospital?”
“It’s just Cristina. She twisted her ankle, and she’s freaking out because she has a dance competition next week. She keeps s
aying her foot is broken, but I think she’s fine. She’s in the waiting room, bitching. I told her I had to use the bathroom, but I’m just trying to get away from her.” He smiled ruefully. “But back to you, are you going to tell me what’s wrong or what?”
I folded my arms over my stomach, realizing he wasn’t going to leave me alone unless I told him.
“It’s . . . this little boy I know. He’s name is Hunter. He’s sick. I met him in the oncology ward, and I try to visit him when I can. He wasn’t in his room today.” My voice began to break.
Sebastian slid an arm behind my back. He rubbed my shoulder. “Oh, Madison.”
“He’s in the I.C.U. now. I—I don’t know how he’s doing.”
“So, he might be better,” Sebastian said, trying to sound reasonable.
“Yeah, I guess.” I nodded and a tear slid down my cheek.
“Don’t cry, pretty girl.” Sebastian ran a finger across my face to dry my tears. “Shhh,” he soothed, but his request had the opposite effect, and I broke into full-blown sobs.
He held me for a while, and my face wound up buried in his neck. When I managed to reduce my downpour to sniffles, he pulled away and searched my face. I looked down and saw where my tears had run down his collar.
“Look at your shirt,” I said, embarrassed.
“Don’t worry about that. It’s nothing.”
“I’m sorry to fall apart like that.” I pushed away from him and stood, feeling more chagrined by the second. “You should get back to Cristina.”
“Nah, I called her boyfriend. She doesn’t know it, and she won’t be happy about it, but he’s coming to take care of her. I can’t deal with her hysterics.”
“Well, you’re not doing much better here, dealing with mine.”
He raked a hand through his hair and stood. “No, these are not hysterics. These are perfectly normal emotions,” he said in all seriousness.
“I should go,” I said.
“Let me give you a ride.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“I’m going to give you a ride.” He took my hand and led me down the last flight of stairs. We came out by the side of the hospital. It was already dark. The temperature was balmy, and there were no clouds in the sky.
Intertwining his fingers with mine, Sebastian led me toward the parking deck. Some part of myself urged me to pull my hand from his. Yet tonight, what would have seemed momentous before, seemed trivial now. I needed to feel something other than that overwhelming sadness and panic I’d felt in the stairwell. This was much better, much easier to deal with than that helplessness and impotence.
Sebastian opened the passenger door to his Mercedes and ushered me in. We drove the short distance to the Middle Earth housing complex in silence, and when we got there, he walked me to my door. I unlocked it and stepped inside.
“Feeling better?” Sebastian asked.
“A little. I’m still anxious, I guess.”
His expression changed, his green eyes filling with intent.
“What’s the little boy’s last name, do you know it?”
“Why?”
“Do you know it?”
“Yeah, it’s Bay. Hunter Bay.” I had seen his full name at the top of his chart.
Sebastian pulled out his iPhone. After a quick search, he made a call. “Yeah, hi. I need to check on the condition of a patient. He’s in the I.C.U.” Sebastian held up a finger. “They’re transferring me,” he told me.
Anxious over what he would find out, I walked inside my room and set my bag by the foot of my bed. In the back of my mind, I wondered briefly where Jessica might be, but I was more interested in Sebastian’s telephone conversation.
“They won’t tell you,” I whispered. “Privacy regulations.”
He winked at me. “We’ll see,” he said, covering the microphone with one hand. “Hello, my name is Sebastian Bay. I need to check on my nephew’s condition. His name is Hunter Bay, he’s in the I.C.U.?” Distractedly, Sebastian closed the door behind him.
There was a pause.
“Really? Man, are you serious? I haven’t been able to reach my brother. Are you sure you can’t even tell me in general terms? Please.”
Another pause.
“I understand.” Sebastian nodded gravely. “Thank you.”
“I told you,” I said.
A smile lifted the corner of his lips. “They said his condition is stable.”
I let out a small gasp. “Really?” My heart felt as if it was about to burst with relief.
Sebastian nodded and looked at me with a fondness and sweetness in his eyes that felt unfamiliar. I didn’t think anyone had ever looked at me that way.
“You’re made of something unique,” Sebastian told me in a confidential tone. He took a step closer. “Something sturdy and vulnerable at the same time.”
We stood facing each other. Without taking his gaze away from mine, he reached out and took my hand. Lifting it, he pressed it against his chest until I could feel his heartbeat. I immediately fell into the depths of his eyes and found that I couldn’t move. His thumb traced circles over the back of my hand, making my skin ripple with sensation. His other hand slid around my waist, and he pulled me against him. For a moment, I expected music to start playing, as if he was pulling me in to dance with him, but there was only the strong rhythm of his heart.
Chapter 13
Slowly, one inch a time, Sebastian closed the distance between our lips. His eyes searched mine, as if expecting a protest. I knew he would stop if I asked him to, but for all the promises I’d made in the past, I couldn’t bring myself to object.
Gently, his lower lip brushed mine, its touch light as a breeze. My eyes fluttered and closed as I tried to deny the wealth of sensation his brief touch had unleashed within me.
He pulled away and searched my eyes again, still unsure. When I did nothing except match the unevenness of his breath with my own, he put his mouth to mine once more and slid his hand from my waist to the back of my neck. This time his kiss was steady and confident. His lips brushed over mine with ease, exploring, memorizing. I surprised myself by doing the same, wanting to learn the exact shape of his soft, delicious mouth. His taste, I knew in that instant, would leave me craving more.
My hands wrapped around his neck and pulled him closer. He broke the kiss, gave me a heated look and took my mouth in his with more determination. This time I felt the tip of his tongue at the corner of my mouth, tasting me. His right hand raked down my side and stopped at the swell of my hip. My tongue found his, and heat spread down my belly.
Sebastian walked me backward. My back hit the wall. His hand moved up my side, my shirt dragging slightly upward with his heavy touch. An inch of my belly was exposed. When his hand fell back down to my waist, he discovered the uncovered skin and sucked in a breath.
I stiffened, but he continued to kiss me, while his hand stayed frozen in place. The velvet of his tongue caressed mine. His teeth teased my lower lip, nibbling gently. Just as I forgot his hand on my waist, he started moving his thumb from side to side, tracing the waistband of my shorts. Of its own accord, a small sound broke out from the back of my throat, causing Sebastian to deepen his kiss.
The silk of his hair was between my fingers when we heard steps outside. A set of keys jingled. Jessica was here. Quickly, I slid from between Sebastian’s arms and sidled into the bathroom. The door opened just as I caught sight of myself in the mirror over the sink. My brown eyes looked wide and heady. My hair out of place. I was breathing in quick, shallow bursts.
God, what was I doing?
“Sebastian!” Jessica exclaimed. “What are you doing here?”
Sebastian cleared his throat. I imagined him trying to smooth down his hair and shirt.
“Aw, were you waiting for me?” Jessica asked.
“No, I was—”
I stepped out of the bathroom and shook my head at Sebastian before Jessica saw me.
“Hey, Jess.” I tried to sound as natural
as possible.
Jessica turned. “Maddie.” Her blue eyes went from Sebastian to me.
“Sebastian wanted to borrow my copy of The Road.” I walked over to the small bookcase next to my desk and pulled out the novel. “Here you go.”
He looked at the book as if I had handed him an ancient papyrus scroll. “Thank you,” he said, but it sounded like a question.
“You’re welcome,” I said, nodding in an exaggerated fashion. “It’s pretty good.”
“Yeah, so I’ve heard.” He either was a very bad actor or he wasn’t trying very hard.
Tapping the book against his leg, Sebastian started backing out of the room. “I guess I’ll leave you girls to it. It was nice seeing you, Jessica.”
Jessica waved two fingers at him, striking a pose. “Toodleloo.”
“Nice seeing you too, Madison.”
After Sebastian left, Jessica and I stood there looking at each other for a moment. There was small smile on her pouty lips and a certain strain around her eyes that made me think she knew exactly what was going on.
I broke eye contact and walked to my desk. “How was your day?” I asked.
“Oh, it was the same old crap,” she said in her usual tone.
When I looked back, she was kicking off her high heels and peeling away her clothes. She approached her closet and pulled out a few things. I pretended to write something when in reality, I was replaying the last moments with Sebastian in the back of my mind.
“I’m going to the gym.” Jessica wore a sports bra and pair of knee-length yoga pants. While I liked to work out in the morning and outdoors, Jessica preferred going to the Rec Center in the evening, when there was a better chance to socialize.
“I’ll see you later.” She left without looking back.
***
The next morning I woke up feeling wretched. While I showered, I pounded my head against the fiberglass door, cursing myself. I had known Sebastian was too much for me to handle, and yet I didn’t do enough to get away from him. I had thought I would be able to, but what happened was proof to the contrary. I should have never accepted a ride from him. Now, my lips felt restless, my body hot and my blood poisoned. I turned the water all the way to cold.
The Guys Are Props Club Page 8
