by Zara Zenia
“But why didn’t you tell me this to start with?”
“How could I?” He looks distraught and holds his head in his hands.
“You should have told me! I’ve been trying to guess where you’re from the entire time, and it’s been plaguing my thoughts, Benzen. I genuinely thought there was a chance you were Asian.”
“You thought I was Asian?” he says as if I’m the one that’s dropping a bombshell.
“Yes!”
There’s a hint of amusement twitching at his lips.
“It’s not funny!” I yell “I’ve been trying to figure it out for ages and since you wouldn’t tell me what your background was, and I assumed you were from somewhere dangerous and you’d fled.”
“That is entirely correct,” he nods.
“I suppose it is.”
I move over and sit beside him. I want to curl my arm around him and hold him tight, but I can’t quite bring myself to do it. Instead, I sit beside him completely still and try to get to grips with the fact that I just had sex with an alien.
Chapter 14
Benzen
The store is quiet today. Despite it being mid-afternoon, there’s only one customer, an old lady with her scooter who’s perusing the cat food aisle. I sit at my checkout and fold up a discarded receipt a dozen times until it can’t get any smaller. Then I let it expand in my hand, unfolding in my palm before I drop it to the floor.
In front of me, Allison is looking straight ahead, lost in her own dream world. I wonder what she’s thinking, I wonder if she hates me. After the revelation last night, she wasn’t pleased with me, and she hurried home, tears streaming down her face as she gently closed the door. Yet as she came into work and took her place, she was her usual self and smiled as though nothing had happened. Romantic relationships are difficult and at times complicated, yet I assume this sense of uncertainty is part of being a human. Life is not so straightforward on Earth.
I gaze out the window. The store’s manager, who I’m sure dislikes me, is standing with his hands on his hips, looking out at the parking lot. There’s a somber feeling in the air. No one quite knows what to say to one another.
In the distance, police tape has cordoned off the bottom half of the mall, although there are numerous TV news crews trying to gain access. I watch as they jostle one another, trying to get the best angle or the best shot of the wreckage.
Nobody’s quite sure how many people died last night or how many lives will be forever ruined in the aftermath. I can’t help but feel it’s my fault. Palzu’s troops were, after all, looking for me and my crew. There’s a dark feeling in my gut, a knot that winds itself tighter the longer I think about it.
I’m distracted for a moment when the sound of the old lady wheeling herself up to the checkout jolts me back to the real world.
“Good afternoon, ma’am.”
“Hello there young man,” she places her numerous cat-related products down on the conveyor belt.
There’s a tense silence between us for a moment as I scan through her products. When I look up, I see she’s staring right at me.
“It’s just terrible what happened, isn’t it?”
She looks as though she’s bursting to talk about it. Allison, overhearing her, spins around in her chair to join the conversation.
“It’s just awful,” she says. “We were here when it happened, too.”
“Oh dear!” The old lady shakes her head. “That must have been terrible.”
“It was,” Allison’s words come out a little cold, and she looks right at me.
The old lady gathers her things and moves away, looking out at the explosion site as she leaves. Allison’s still looking at me with large, dark circles under her eyes.
“They’re saying it’s terrorists, you know.”
“I guess you could say they were terrorists.”
“Of course,” she snaps as she spins back round. “You would know better than anyone.”
I don’t know what to say to her. She’s annoyed, and I can hear it in her voice.
“Allison?”
“Uh-huh.”
“I never could have imagined something so terrible could have happened. Never, in a million years would I have imagined Palzu would order something so evil and destructive.”
“Oh, yes, 'Palzu.' You never did explain him to me, or anything about you at all, for that matter!”
“Last night wasn’t the right time. It all must have been such a terrible shock to you.”
“It was.” She climbs off her chair and walks around to me.
The manager notices her leave her checkout, but then looks away disinterested. There are bigger, more important things taking place right now.
“It’s just all so crazy!” she leans across my checkout with her elbows resting on the scanner. “I can’t take it all in. When I woke up this morning, I thought I’d dreamt it. But when I came into work and saw the scorch marks on the ground, trampled on the broken glass, and smelled the burning embers in the air, I knew it was all real.”
There are tears in her eyes she’s trying to hold back, and I want to stroke her face, hold her and tell her it will all be ok, but I don’t touch her. I lean back in my chair and give her space instead.
“I’ll never forget the feeling…” She lowers her head. “…of being so afraid. When those guys were all around the car, their guns pointed at us, I actually readied myself to die.”
It breaks my heart to see her so upset. I slide my hand across the checkout and hope she’ll take it, but she doesn’t.
“I’ll tell you everything.”
She looks up to me, there’s a hint of surprise in her eyes.
“What?”
“I’ll tell you everything, as soon as our shift ends.”
The sound of an arguing family comes from the entrance, and we look up to see there is a little flurry of customers coming in. It looks as though they’ve opened up part of the mall.
“Ok,” she squeezes my hand curtly yet sincerely. “I want to hear it all.”
Our day goes quickly. Most of the customers are either too dumbstruck to speak of last night or they want to talk about it for hours. Either way, I don’t want to think about it. Across the parking lot, news crews and policemen come and go, and over the course of the day, a gathering of people loiter near the wreckage. As the shift ends and Allison and I gather our things, I can’t take my eyes off them. Some are crying, some are holdings candles, and others are clasping at photographs of lost loved ones.
“What are they doing?” I ask.
Allison rolls her eyes as if finally, she had had enough of my constant questions.
“It’s a vigil.”
“A vigil?”
“Yes. When people die, like in a really traumatic way, loads of people join together to remember the victims.”
“Oh. That is a kind thing to do.”
“Yeah.” She shrugs. “We should be out there with them.”
Except we don’t stick around to join them, as Allison has other plans.
“I don’t want to stay here,” she wipes a tear from her eye. “It’s too scary. I just want to forget it all.”
She drives us a long way across town to an area I’ve never seen before. It’s rather dark and miserable compared to the other places I’ve seen, but the people are more interesting and are much younger than the people I usually see at the mall.
We settle in a coffee shop, pushing ourselves into a cramped booth by the window. Rain begins to fall and lash the side of the shop. The sound calms me as I look out onto the street. Frothy mugs of coffee are brought to our table along with some little cakes I don’t have an appetite for. Regardless, I pick one up and nibble at the edges.
“So…” She looks out the window and follows my gaze.
A group of teenagers is gathered around their bikes. I notice one of them has a piece of metal in his eyebrow and a shock of green hair swept across his forehead. He’s not like anyone I’ve seen before.
“So, Benzen,” she exhales slowly. “Where do we start?”
“I don’t know.”
“How about your planet?”
“It is so far away from Earth. It took us a long time to get here. We are Orban people, a noble race who insist on the importance of community. Or at least, we did until, Palzu came into power.”
“Who is this Palzu you keep talking about?”
In the corner of the room, a TV is switched on, and we can hear the news. Reports of last night’s attack are loud and shocking. Witnesses are crying and screaming as they talk to the reporters and Allison and I have to try our hardest not to watch.
“Palzu,” I begin, “was merely a counselor who took it upon himself to take over the planet. He is an evil dictator, and we knew we had to act fast. Some of us who were lucky escaped, taking a shuttle before crashing here on Earth.”
“You and your friends?”
“Yes, but now we are seen as traitors, and that’s why they are trying to find us. I knew we’d been followed and could have guessed they would try to capture us, but I never imagined for a second that they could be so violent to innocent people they had no knowledge of.”
“In a strange way, it’s almost comforting to know that it’s not just humans who are hell-bent on creating suffering and waging war.”
“There is nothing comforting about that to me.” I pick up my coffee. “It just makes me sad.”
I push my lip into the froth of my cappuccino and feel its warmth. Coffee, as well as sushi, has become one of my many loves here on Earth. Allison describes it as a hug in a mug, and she isn’t wrong.
“We’re not so different, are we?”
“I don’t think so.” I give her a weak smile.
“I’m sorry I’ve not been the nicest person to you today.”
“You don’t have to apologize. I understand.”
“I’m just still in shock, but I want you to know that I still really like you. A lot.”
Her eyes look red-raw as she talks as though she hasn’t slept since the incident.
“I’m so happy you’re not repulsed by me,” I say as I stare down into my coffee.
“Repulsed?”
“Yes. I’m sure it is so strange to you, to make love to an alien.”
“Well, yeah!” she smiles. “It’s strange alright, but definitely not bad. I really like you, Benzen, and there’s no way I could ever be repulsed by you. It doesn’t matter where you’re from. I think you’re a brilliant person.”
She leans over and kisses me on the cheek, and somehow, it makes me feel as though everything’s going to be ok. As we hold hands and snuggle in close to one another, Allison tells me more about the human race. Now that she knows I am not from this world, it’s easier for her to explain things. And I have to admit, it is so liberating not having to hide this side of myself. I ask her questions freely, knowing that she will not judge me.
“You have war here too, then. I’ve seen a lot about it in the newspapers.”
“Yeah that’s right,” she sighs. “Sadly, I think it will always be a part of the human race.”
“I never thought it was going to part of the Orban race, but…it is now.”
I’m so terribly sad as I think about my home planet and all the things that are taking place there right now. Then I think about my crew and hope they are ok. I assume they would have heard about what happened last night, but who knows if they'll have guessed it was Palzu.
“Planet Earth is so complicated, yet so colorful and wild and interesting. There is never a boring day here. There is always something taking place, a new source of conflict, a new discovery, an ever-changing landscape. People here change their minds about things in an instant just because they have the freedom to. They can live alone or amongst others, they can travel freely. They can eat what they want and love whoever they meet. They can also decide to hate a person just because they feel like it. Life here is so fickle and arbitrary, but I’m so happy there is no other way.”
“You see things so differently." Allison smiles and strokes the side of my face before kissing my cheek. “It’s strange and refreshing and just...totally awesome. I’m so proud to say I know you.”
We look at each other for a long while, the energy between us like a strong electrical current flowing between our bodies.
“How about you come back to my apartment?”
“I’d love that,” she says. “Let’s go.”
The rain is still pouring when we reach my home, but I can’t stop smiling. We run up the stairs, our wet clothes clinging to our skin and our hands clasped firmly together. As soon as we stumble in the door, we kiss hard and fall onto the couch.
This time, I feel as though I have nothing to hide, and I’m not afraid of her discovering my differences anymore. I relax into the feeling of being close to her body. She is so beautiful and perfect in every way, and I can’t wait to see her naked properly, not rushed in the back seat of a car.
I lie her down gently on the sofa and ever so slowly strip her of her clothes, kissing her body along the way. She smiles and writhes beneath my lips as I reach a ticklish spot, and she pulls at my hair as I lower my mouth to the wet space between her legs.
Soon, I feel her tugging at my clothes. I pull them off and let them drop to the ground. She sees everything, and I feel completely comfortable with that. Her breasts are magnificent, and as I cup them in my hands, I suck on her nipples, feeling their hardness on my tongue. She lets out a gentle cry as she lies back. Lowering a hand between her legs, she rubs gently at herself, her wetness glistening through her fingers.
“I can’t wait any longer,” she breathes into my neck. “I want you so much.”
I tease her for few moments, lingering the tip of my hardness against her lips. She raises her pelvis to meet me, but I don’t enter her until she asks me to.
“Please, Benzen! I need you so much!”
I enter softly at first until she’s digging her nails into my back and demanding I do it harder and faster. Feeling her soft, gorgeous body up close to mine and listening to the way she cries out in pleasure brings me to the brink of climax, and I try to hold off for a little while. But she insists I keep going, and we both come hard and fast, our breaths mingling with one another's and our bodies becoming one.
For a long while, with our skin sticking to one another with sweat, we kiss slowly. I savor every touch and caress and hold her tight. She’s still clinging to me tightly, her legs tangled around mine.
We fall asleep soundly with our limbs still wrapped around each other. My apartment, for the time being, feels like a little bubble of bliss, sequestered so far away from the drama and violence of the night before. I forget about it all as I dream of Allison.
Chapter 15
Benzen
When I wake up the next day, Allison is still sleeping soundly. I gently shake her and she yawns and stretches, her feet extending out to touch my legs.
“I have to go to work,” I whisper.
“I thought you were off today like me?” she rubs at her eyes.
“No. That’s tomorrow.”
“Oh.”
“Will you wait for me here?”
“Sure!” she smiles. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I sit beside her and scoop her up in my arms.
“I can’t wait to come home to you.”
We kiss sweetly, the smell of last night still on us.
“I can’t wait either.” She pulls away to inspect my uniform.
Straightening my shirt and jacket, she then slaps my butt and tickles me in the ribs.
“Hey!” I laugh as I open the front door. “Save some of that for later.”
As I leave my apartment and make my way to work I feel alive and alert. An eight-hour shift seems so long without Allison beside me. No doubt I’ll have my eyes fixed on the clock all day.
As I reach the mall, my heart sinks. The caved-in restaurant and police tape are still present and peop
le are still crowding around. Some are crying while others are taking photos with their phones. On the edge of the building, a news crew is reporting. Who knows when it will all be rebuilt?
The shift is long and quiet. Still, there aren’t many people visiting the store, and I spend most of my day staring into space as I remember last night. The manager approaches me. I can’t say I like him. He’s more focused on speaking to girls on his phone than he is with looking after this place.
He sits down on the edge of my checkout, his slicked back hair looking greasy in the sun. With a weird penchant for squinting with just the one eye, he looks at me and winks.
“So...you and Allison?”
“What about it?”
“You seem to be spending even more time together these days.”
“Yeah.”
I try not to engage him or look him in the eye. He’ll probably want all the dirty details, and he’s not getting them.
“So?” he raises his eyebrows expectantly.
“So what?”
He gives up trying to talk to me and slinks off back to the office. Meanwhile, I’m all alone on the shop floor. After a little while an elderly couple enters and buys a couple of carts worth of food. It gives me something to do and makes the time go a little faster. Then it’s back to the monotony of hearing the same songs played over and over on the store's speaker system.
As soon as the clock strikes eight, I jump out of my chair and hurry to get home. I see the manager out the corner of my eye as I leave. He looks as though he’s about to crack some terrible joke, but I leave just as he parts his lips to speak.
I feel like skipping home. The sunset glows crimson across the skyline as the balmy evening draws to a close. I wonder if Allison has cooked for me. She usually does, and I expect she’s made a real effort to make something nice. As I near my apartment, I feel myself begin to speed up and jog. I can’t wait to see her!
