by A. P. Jensen
“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry!” she chanted, burying her face against his neck and drawing in the scent of him. “I shouldn’t have doubted us, I shouldn’t listen to my dad. I don’t know how this is going to work, but I want to try. I feel like I’m dying without you! I love you so much and I don’t care what obstacles are in our way. We can do this, right? I don’t want to quit Ashton Hotels, but if I have to I will and I’ll go on the road with you.”
She paused to draw breath and realized that Johnny’s arms weren’t around her, they were still at his sides. A bolt of fear blasted through her. She froze, staring past him at the messy apartment before she eased back. He stared at her with glazed eyes. She ran her hand over the bristles on his cheek and willed him to say something, but he was silent. Something in his eyes made her take a step back into the hallway.
“Johnny?” she whispered and was about to say more when a woman appeared behind him. The woman didn’t have on a stitch of clothing. She was covered in colorful tattoos and her bleach blonde hair was mussed and tangled. No one could misinterpret what Demi interrupted. Demi’s body locked as the woman wrapped her arms around Johnny from behind and pressed against him suggestively.
“And who’s this, baby?” the woman cooed to Johnny.
Neither Johnny nor Demi spoke. Their eyes were glued to each other. It was Demi’s worst fears in the flesh. Bile rose in her throat and she took a step back, hand raised as if that would block what she was seeing.
“Did you bring a wedding gift?” the woman asked.
Demi’s heart stuttered in her chest and her hand dropped to her side. “Wedding gift?”
The woman moved the hand splayed possessively on Johnny’s abs and Demi saw the massive diamond ring there. Blessed numbness encompassed Demi. She looked from the ring to Johnny’s blank face.
“We got married last night,” the woman said helpfully and made a moaning sound as she wrapped her arms around Johnny.
Demi moved her eyes from the woman pawing her ex to Johnny who was completely expressionless. “Congratulations.” She was proud that her voice sounded even. She wasn’t sure what her face looked like, though, because she couldn’t feel anything.
Her feet carried her to the elevator, which binged and opened as she approached. People filtered out and she stepped inside. She stared straight ahead, submerged in such a state of shock that her mind was completely blank. Demi walked out of Johnny’s apartment building and didn’t hail a cab. Instead, she just walked. She found herself in Central Park and sat on a bench, staring sightlessly ahead.
Johnny got over their two year relationship in two weeks. That thought was uppermost in her mind. The second was the woman he made his wife—blonde and skinny as a rail with tattoos all over her body. She and Demi couldn’t be more different. Apparently, that was what he wanted all along and now he had it. Night fell and Demi didn’t want to go home. She didn’t know how to explain to her mom what happened. She took a risk and made an absolute fool of herself. Follow her heart? She would never do such a stupid thing again. Demi refused to cry. The image of Johnny and that woman replayed over and over in her head. She actually hugged him when he’d been in bed with that woman, touching, kissing and— Demi hunched over on the bench, head between her knees as her head swam and she fought the urge to vomit.
“Lady, you okay?”
Demi took a deep breath and sat up. A cop stood a few feet away, watching her closely in the dim light. Demi swallowed hard and nodded.
“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” he said. “It’s late. Go home.”
Demi got to her feet with a hand over her roiling stomach and forced herself to walk. She left without her cell. Her mom was probably freaking out right now. She walked to her building and rode the elevator up, leaning against the walls because she felt sick, battered and drained. When she stepped out of the elevator into the penthouse, she stopped when her father rose from the couch. The penthouse was quiet and there was no one else in sight. He had a bunch of papers in his hands, which he tossed to the side. It was clear he’d been waiting for her.
She looked down at his bare feet as she said in a hoarse voice, “Johnny got married. You were right—” Her throat closed up and her voice died out. Her breath hitched and to her mortification, tears filled her eyes. She followed her heart today and it led her to even worse pain. She was so stupid. She bowed her head, waiting for her dad to crow with victory and give her a lecture about poor choices.
Tears blinded her to his approach. She jerked in surprise when his arms closed around her.
“Dad, I don’t—”
“I’m sorry.” His hand cupped the back of her head and massaged gently. “I shouldn’t have made you break up with him.” A pause and then, “Mom told me you went to see him. I expected you to bring him back with you. I was going to tell you I wouldn’t interfere again and…He’s a fucking idiot.”
Demi let out a hiccuping laugh. Emotions that she kept at bay for hours rushed to the surface and she began to shake. He murmured soothingly to her and sobs erupted from her mouth. She tried to smother them against his chest. He picked her up as if she were a little child and settled on the couch with Demi on his lap. He stroked her hair as pain eclipsed her entire being and tears of anger, mortification and loss soaked his shirt.
“You deserve a man that loves you more than anything in the world,” he said into her hair. “The way I love your mom, I want you to feel that. It’s something that doesn’t fade, doesn’t age. It’ll stay with you for the rest of your life. You’ll find that man, Demi, I promise you.”
Demi shook her head, coherent speech completely out of reach. She didn’t have a heart left to feel for anyone else.
“You’ll find someone, Demi, and he’ll worship the ground you walk on. He’ll do anything to make you smile and he’ll thank God everyday that you’re his.” She shook her head against his chest in denial and he hugged her tight. “Until then, it’s my job to look out for you and love you until that guy comes along. You’ll get past this, Demi. I promise you.”
Chapter One
Thirteen Years Later
Once upon a time, Demi promised herself she would never attend a Johnny Bentley concert, yet here she was on the ground floor of Madison Square Garden. She took it as a sign when she passed several women selling last minute Johnny Bentley tickets on the sidewalk. Attending this concert would be closure for her on so many levels. She wasn’t a naive girl, she was a grown woman that would follow her gut—not her head or heart. She was starting a new life and this was a great way to kick it off.
The sold out crowd milled anxiously as they waited for Johnny Bentley’s grand entrance. Demi braced her legs as the crowd surged around her. The smell of heavy perfume and sweat filled the air and her stomach pitched. She couldn’t remember if she ate today. Someone clapped her on the arm and Demi tightened her hold on her purse. A rowdy bunch of scantily clad, middle aged women stood beside her. They had on shirts that referred to Johnny’s song titles and guitar. Their shirts said, “Make me your Scarlet Woman,” “I’ll give you a Wild Weekend” and “Play Me Like Baby.” The group primped, adjusted their boobs and chattered nervously as if they were auditioning for the position of a rock version of Prince William’s bride. Demi felt as if she were in an alternate universe. The woman that nudged her looked like Johnny’s type with bleach blonde hair, fake boobs and a blinding white smile.
“I’m Mandy!” she said to Demi.
“Demi,” she said and shook Mandy’s hand.
“Your first Bentley concert?” Mandy hollered.
Demi ignored the tight knot in her stomach and nodded. “How did you know?”
“You didn’t dress right, honey,” Mandy’s eyes flicked over her black pencil skirt, long sleeve cream colored top and nude peep toe pumps.
“I didn’t have time to change,” Demi said lamely and took in the tank/crop top, jean skirts and booty shorts around her.
“I have an extra shirt!” Mandy exclaim
ed and dug around in her purse. “My sister is gonna get wasted so I always bring extra clothes for her. It should fit.”
Mandy shoved a white tank in Demi’s hands that said, “Bentley’s Woman” in sparkling rhinestones.
“I’m okay, really—” Demi began, but she was interrupted by ear splitting shrieks as the lights dimmed. She had no intention of wearing a shirt that said such a thing, so she slipped it into her purse and planned to give it back to Mandy later.
“Oh my God, here he comes!” Mandy shrieked like a sixteen-year-old and flapped her shirt like a flag. It said, “Marry Me Bentley.”
Electric guitar filled the stadium and the crowd roared. The ground trembled as everyone rushed forward, desperate to be one step closer to their idol. Demi’s size and strength helped her from being trampled and she was alarmed by how frenzied the fans became. People slammed their hands on the stage and a drum roll of stomping feet echoed through the stadium as everyone waited for their first glimpse of Johnny Bentley.
Demi’s heart sped up. She hadn’t seen Johnny in the flesh in thirteen years. She saw him on magazine covers, advertisements and videos, but she didn’t let her eyes linger. Tonight, she would face her fear. She would see Johnny in the flesh and purge herself of him once and for all.
A spotlight clicked on, but there was no sign of Johnny. Demi’s eyes searched the dark stage for him. The crowd revved up, growing louder and more demanding as they screamed for Johnny. Demi kept a death grip on her purse and shoved back when those around her got a little too excited. When the crowd was on the precipice of plunging into violence, a man stepped into the circle of light and the arena went wild.
Demi’s breath caught in her throat. Johnny had grown since she last saw him. He was now six foot three and the scrawny teen she remembered was gone. He filled out well. When he raised a hand to wave at the crowd, his navy tee rose and she and everyone else got a glimpse of rock hard abs. Dark jeans rode low on his hips and the tattoos on his arms gleamed. Johnny had the beginnings of a beard that made him look dangerous and sexy. He swept the audience with dark eyes that promised a night of sinful decadence. The Mohawk he sported in the past was gone. He now had short cropped hair, which did nothing to lessen his appeal.
“God, I think he just looked at me!” Mandy gushed.
Demi didn’t bother to tell Mandy that between the bright lights and the sea of fans, Johnny would be hard pressed to see anyone. Demi didn’t scream, jump or flash Johnny like the women around her. She stood utterly still and was so focused on him that she didn’t register the feverish shoving going on around her as women wept and tried to clamber onto the stage. Johnny smiled indulgently at the crowd, unperturbed by the havoc going on around him. Demi could smell desperation in the air and didn’t blame them. Johnny was the epitome of an untamed rock god. Johnny Bentley was one of the most recognizable faces in music and consistently produced hit after hit. Johnny didn’t care what people thought of him. He did what he wanted, when he wanted and didn’t apologize for his lifestyle. He was the unattainable bachelor.
Johnny raised the mic to his lips and the crowd quieted immediately. His voice hit the speakers and it was so achingly familiar that tears pricked Demi’s eyes. Memories pulsed beneath the surface of her skin and she closed her eyes. His voice was more seasoned and smooth. Images of Johnny sitting on her bed and singing to her meshed with the performer on stage. There was no voice in the music industry like Johnny Bentley’s. It was gritty, piercing and hinted at a darkness that made women yearn for him.
Mandy elbowed Demi in the stomach. “He’s to die for, isn’t he?”
Demi’s eyes opened and she was glad Mandy’s eyes were glued to Johnny, so she didn’t see her glistening ones. “Yeah.”
The rock star on stage was so far removed from the boy she’d known that she could scarcely believe he was the same person. Johnny went from a wannabe musician to international superstar. Johnny strolled across the stage as he sang, completely at ease and in his element. Demi shoved the memories aside and just took him in. Johnny moved from song to song, sometimes playing guitar, bass, piano or drums. No instrument went untouched and Demi was amazed by how much he’d grown as a performer. He’d become so much more than she ever dreamed.
Several songs into the show, Johnny extended his hand to someone off stage. Demi was so busy staring at him that she didn’t register the rise in sound until a woman wrapped herself around him. She wore a dress that sparkled like a disco ball. She was short and curvy with auburn hair and brown eyes. The hug she gave Johnny was genuine. Johnny gave her a kiss on the cheek and with his arm around her waist, they faced the stadium. Demi joined Mandy and her club of fangirls as they clapped and hopped excitedly. Gwen Harper Phoenix, songwriter turned singer, was going to sing with Johnny. Demi was a fan of her new album, which had been at the top of the charts for weeks.
“I’m happy Gwen flew out to help me close the tour tonight,” Johnny announced and Gwen beamed up at him. “She helped me with my album, The Scarlet Woman and I helped her record this song for her hubby, Trey.”
Gwen’s sultry voice hit the crowd and they all fell silent. Gwen and Johnny sang to one another, voices weaving together and rising in a harmony that made Demi tear up. Several of Mandy’s friends held up lighters and began to sway. Mandy wrapped an arm around Demi’s waist and drew her into their huddle. The whole stadium felt it and Demi let herself drift away. When the song finished, Gwen kissed Johnny, took a bow and walked off stage with a brilliant smile.
“This is the best night ever!” Mandy said.
“It is!” Demi agreed as heavy metal burst out of the speakers.
Johnny’s energy electrified the stadium and once more, Demi fought the crowd who surged around her. Demi gave herself up to the music and stopped trying to compare the man on stage with the boy she’d known. That boy was gone. He was Johnny Bentley, rock star, and nothing to her. She danced, sang along and pumped her fist like everyone else.
They were halfway through the show when it happened. Johnny leapt off stage into the crowd. Already a head above most around her, Demi saw Johnny reappear almost immediately. He continued the song without missing a beat as he was mobbed by his fans. Women tugged at his shirt and put sloppy kisses on his sweaty neck. Mandy nearly broke Demi’s hand as she squeezed it and screamed to get Johnny’s attention. As Johnny ambled through the crowd, still singing with ease, he turned in their direction and Demi went rigid. She jerked her hand away from Mandy and tried to back away, but the crowd locked her in place.
Johnny bumped fists, hugged and kissed people as they crowded around him, jostling for touch or a split second of eye contact. Demi stood like an iron statue as he moved closer. Johnny’s gaze moved over Mandy and her entourage who surged forward to fawn over him. Demi was about to slouch when his eyes met hers. The split second of contact was so potent that Demi turned her back on Johnny and tried to wade through the crowd. Panic skewered her insides.
“Oh my God, oh my God!” Mandy chanted from somewhere behind her.
Demi pushed against the sea of fans who happily let her slide through so they could get closer to Johnny. Demi thought she was home free until a hard hand gripped her arm. With a sinking feeling in her stomach, she turned and faced Johnny. In that moment, everything else faded. He continued to sing even as his eyes became moody and intense. She tugged on her arm and waited for him to release her and continue greeting his fans, but he didn’t. He finished the last line of the song, lowered the mic and everyone erupted into applause.
They stared at one another and the rock-happy daze she’d been swimming in disappeared. Memories of the last time she saw him filtered through her and savaged her insides. She twisted her arm and managed to break free of his sweaty grasp, but before she could get away, Johnny wrapped an arm around her waist and lifted her off her feet. Demi met Mandy’s stunned gaze for a split second before Johnny moved through the crowd. Demi had a blurred impression of envious faces and confused murmurs as she c
urled her toes in her pumps to keep them on her feet.
“Let me go,” she hissed, but Johnny made no reply.
Security pressed in around them. Johnny’s hold on her waist was so tight, it knocked the breath out of her.
“As many of you know, I grew up in New York,” Johnny said into the mic and New York natives hooted. “I had a good feeling about tonight’s show. One, because I’m in Madison Square Garden and two, because I need a vacation.” He paused and set Demi down as he hauled himself on stage. He leaned down and held his hand out to her. “And that feeling just got better.”
Demi turned to run, but security boxed her in. The men whirled her around and boosted her up. She had two choices. Take Johnny’s hand or have the security guards drop her. She took Johnny’s calloused hands and he hauled her up on stage. Demi was lightheaded with shock and horror. She stared out at an arena filled with more than eighteen thousand people. For some reason, the crowd was louder than ever. She switched her attention to Johnny who was soaked with sweat. Even with heels, she had to look up.
“Everyone has a first,” Johnny drawled, voice echoing through the stadium.
It was obvious he wasn’t talking about food, roller coasters or travel. Catcalls filled the stadium. Her face was magnified on huge screens on either side of the stage. Screw following her gut. She really shouldn’t have come here tonight.
“Demi.”
Johnny said her name with a sensual edge and it brought her eyes back to him.
“Demi was mine once upon a time, weren’t you, baby?” Johnny asked.
Demi tried to decide whether to slap him across the face, run or cry. She did none of the above. She glared at him and said, “A long, long time ago.”
The crowd hooted and laughed. She crossed her arms across her chest, beyond pissed. What the hell was going on? How dare he do this to her? She hadn’t decided what she was going to do when Johnny grabbed his guitar off the stand and began to sing. Demi’s heart stopped beating.
