“I forgive you.”
Just those three words spoken in her melodic voice were enough to lighten the crushing weight I’d been carrying around for more than half a decade. She forgave me. My path to winning her back was still long and twisted, but at the very least, her forgiveness had given me a starting point.
“Is this going to be weird?” she asked, pulling her plump bottom lip between her teeth, she bit down nervously. “Us both working here?”
“Not for me, wildflower.”
“You’re sure?”
I took a step closer, making sure I had her full attention. “Seeing you every day is something I’ve been craving for the past five years. You working here isn’t going to be weird for me. I’m fucking thrilled about it.”
I gave myself just a brief moment to take in the way her chest rose and fell on her sharp inhale. Her curves had only gotten fuller, sexier in the past years, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on them again. I couldn’t wait to see what other parts of her body had changed. But I knew I’d pushed her to the limit for today. If I went any further, I ran the risk of her shutting down. So before that could happen I backed toward the door, grinning wickedly.
“See you tomorrow, wildflower.”
Then I left, praying to whatever Gods were out there that my words packed a powerful punch she wouldn’t be able to resist.
“Ugh!” Flopping onto my back, I stared up at the patterns cast across my ceiling by the moon glowing through my bedroom curtains. “Shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit!” I whisper-shouted into the darkness surrounding me. I lifted my head from my pillow and glared at the alarm clock telling me it was 3:12 in the freaking morning.
I needed sleep. Sleep that refused to come because I couldn’t stop replaying my encounter with Noah in the photography classroom a few days ago.
“Seeing you every day is something I’ve been craving for the past five years. You working here isn’t going to be weird for me. I’m fucking thrilled about it.”
Ah, hell. He just had to go and say something like that, didn’t he?
To make matters worse, the stupid jerk walked away from me after delivering that particularly well-placed blow.
Days passed and I still hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it.
“Seeing you every day is something I’ve been craving for the past five years. You working here isn’t going to be weird for me. I’m fucking thrilled about it.”
Jeez, that was hot.
“No it wasn’t,” I reprimanded myself. “It wasn’t hot. It was dumb. Not hot. Dumb.”
Nope, my brain teased. It was hot as hell.
Running my hands through my hair, I sighed. “Jesus Christ. Now I’m arguing with myself in the middle of the night. I’ve lost my damn mind.”
Kicking at the sheets twisted around my legs in frustration, I sat up in bed, finally admitting defeat.
Noah Induced Insomnia – 1
Harlow – 0
Deciding to do something constructive with my sleeplessness, I walked over to my closet and threw it open, standing up on my tiptoes to reach for what I needed on the top shelf. I hadn’t touched it in forever. I made my way over to the bedside table and flipped on the lamp, my camera bag held tightly against my chest like a baby.
I guess that would have been an accurate analogy considering I loved that camera as if it were a living thing. I remembered how excited I was the day Grammy gave it to me. I’d only recently discovered my love for photography and Grammy had saved up as much as she could to get me the Nikon. It was noticeably used when she gave it to me, but the previous owner had taken good care of it and I thought that added character to the old camera. So I loved it.
Smiling down as I pulled it from the case, I recalled how I spent hours and hours roaming through the woods and up the mountains looking for the best shots of the beauty of nature that surrounded Pembrooke. Nature photography had always been a favorite of mine and there wasn’t a place on earth with more stunning scenery than the small town.
As I held it up and looked through the viewfinder, I was amazed to feel the love I once had for taking photographs seeping back into me. It had been forever since I felt that way.
Placing the camera back in the bag, I carried it down the stairs and sat it on the table next to my purse so I wouldn’t forget it as I made my way to the kitchen with a loud yawn.
I wasn’t what one would consider a morning person on a good day. Sleep deprived meant you wanted to stay at least twenty feet away from me at all times. And considering tomorrow—well, technically today—was my first day as a high school teacher, I was going to have to seriously load up on all things caffeine to prevent causing bodily harm to a bunch of teenagers.
The coffee pot was definitely calling my name.
I was in the seventh circle of hell. There was no doubt about it. And I’d just spent the first half of my day surrounded by Satan’s minions—also known as teenagers.
Pushing my way through the door of the teacher’s lounge, I was too frazzled to fully appreciate the fact that I was walking into what was once considered an unknown, mystical land by me and all my friends back when we attended high school. We’d always been curious to see what that room looked like. We were convinced that was where the teachers went to sneak booze and smokes between classes. We even came up with stories about clandestine hookups between the married music teacher and basketball coach happening in that room. Leave it to a bunch of clueless kids to turn a teacher’s lounge into an orgy den.
Unfortunately, the reality of the room was much less exciting than we’d built it up to be. But it had a coffee pot. That was all that mattered in that very moment.
“Oh, thank you, Jesus,” I muttered under my breath as I filled a Styrofoam cup and lifted it up, sniffing gratefully. It didn’t smell the best, but I was sure it would do the job. I heard the door to the lounge open just as I parted my lips for my first sip.
“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Noah’s deep voice spoke up, but it was too late.
I turned to face him just as I sucked down a big gulp, my face instantly scrunching in disgust as the bitterness overwhelmed my taste buds. I choked on the nasty sludge as it traveled down my throat, coughing and sputtering loudly as I beat on my chest.
“Oh, God,” I groaned once I could breathe again. I rushed to the sink and soaked a paper towel in water, wiping furiously at my tongue, trying to get the taste out of my mouth. “Shit. That stuff is awful.”
Noah let out a low, rumbling chuckle, the sound shooting tingles straight between my thighs. “Tried to warn you,” he said, coming closer. It wasn’t until he was a foot away, his spicy, outdoorsy smell filling my nostrils that I realized we were the only ones in the room. Just like every time I’d been around him, my body became instantly aware of his presence.
“Here,” his arm extended toward me, a tall, lidded cup embossed with the Sinful Sweets logo in his hand.
“You got me a coffee?” I asked in bemusement as I took the cup from him.
I watched in fascination as the corner of his lips tilted up. I had to beat back the images of those full lips pressed against mine that filled my head. “Yeah, well, I was getting one for myself anyway and figured it’s your first day teaching a bunch of high school kids. I took a wild guess you might be in need of a little jolt. Turns out I was right.”
“Thank you so much. You so were.” I groaned just before taking a drink. White chocolate mocha, it was to die for. “Oh, yeah,” I moaned. “I could kiss you right now,” I spoke without thinking. Before I could take the words back, his grin morphed into a full-blown smile.
“You’d get no argument from me, wildflower. Do whatever feels right.”
The butterflies that typically fluttered around in my belly whenever Noah was around took off like kamikaze pilots. My skin heated and my heart beat in staccato against my ribs.
“Uh…” I mumbled, completely at a loss for words because part of me was yelling to run for the door while th
e other was yelling at me to climb Noah like a tree. The latter seemed to be winning out.
Clearly in tune with the uncomfortable riot of emotions taking control of me, Noah let out a loud laugh. “Relax, sweetheart. I’m just joking.” He said it like he meant it, but the way he reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind my ear defied his words. His fingertips traced along the shell of my ear, skating down my neck to my collar bone before his hand finally dropped back to his side. His intimate touch left a trail of fire across my skin.
He moved away, taking a seat at one of the small round tables before I had a chance to process what the hell was happening. “Come sit, we still have an hour before our next period, and trust me, you’ll want to relax as much as possible.”
Battling against my traitorous body’s reaction, I slowly walked across the room and moved toward the chair across from him. I was only about two feet from my destination when he kicked out the chair next to him and tipped his chin, indicating I should sit there instead. To refrain from looking like an asshole, I went against my instincts and sat in the closer chair.
“So how’s your first day going so far?” he asked, lifting his own cup of coffee to his lips and taking a sip.
I followed suit with my own latte before asking, “Were we such assholes at that age?” earning another laugh from Noah. My belly swooped low again and I had to clench my legs together. Jesus, if his laugh was enough to turn me on, I was in serious trouble. The last time I’d had sex was the last time with Noah. I’d managed to go years without it, only to turn into one giant bundle of raging hormones whenever he was near. Obviously my self-imposed dry spell had been a bad idea.
“I think that exact same thing every day,” he answered, yanking me out of my inner musings. “I mean, we couldn’t have been that self-involved, right? At least I’d like to think that was the case back then.”
“It’s more than that.” I giggled, the change in topic finally settling some of the nerves I was feeling. “It’s like these kids speak another language. They actually talk in text. If I hear one more LOL or OMG I’m going to intentionally deafen myself.”
“And what about YOLO?” Noah added. “Seriously, do they even comprehend the meaning behind you only live once? ‘Oh, it’s pizza day in the cafeteria. YOLO!’ I’m pretty sure I haven’t heard that used in the correct context the entire time I’ve worked here.”
“Oh, oh! And what’s with all the shrugging and mumbling? That’s how they answer every single question. It’s like an involuntary tick or something. And get this! When I finished passing out the cameras in my second period class, one of the girls actually asked me if they came with a selfie stick!”
My head fell forward in laughter and I was so lost in the ridiculousness of kids now a days, I hadn’t even noticed I had reached over and placed my hand on his thigh. That was, until I felt the heat coming from his own palm as he wrapped his long fingers around mine, pinning my hand in place. The muscles in his leg tensed and I noticed just how much stronger they were now than when we were younger. His gaze bored into mine, sending a chill up my spine. It was like he could see everything I was feeling from just that one gaze. It was impossible to look away.
The intensity of our stare should have frightened me. Don’t get me wrong, the things I was feeling for him in that moment were unsettling, to say the least, but I couldn’t bring myself to break the hold. And right then, a question that had been plaguing me since my return to Pembrooke shot to the forefront of my mind.
I had to know.
“Why are you here, Noah?” I asked in a voice so quiet it was amazing he heard me.
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you coaching high school football? Your dream was to go pro. That was always the plan. What happened?”
He closed those warm whiskey eyes for several seconds. Once they opened again they were clouded by something I couldn’t understand. And his vague answer did nothing to assuage my desire, my need, to know.
“Losing you wasn’t the only fuck-up I’ve made in my life, Harlow,” he said cryptically. “For a few years I was hell bent on screwing up anything good I could have had.”
“Noah…” I started, not knowing what to say, but wanting to offer him some sort of comfort. The disappointment in himself was written all over his face. The visceral need to soothe that ache inside of me was so strong it scared me to the core. Was I still attracted to Noah? Yes, there was no denying that. Was that insane connection we’d had since the very beginning still there? Absolutely. But the overwhelming desire to protect him caught me off guard. I kept telling myself my reaction to Noah was physical. Finding out otherwise opened up doors I thought I’d locked and nailed shut almost six years ago.
His free hand came up, his rough, calloused fingers running across my cheekbone as he cupped my cheek and rubbed his thumb along my lower lip. “You still stand out from everyone around you, you know that? The most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
My eyes stung. My nose burned. I remembered his touch and the passion in his eyes every time he looked at me like it was yesterday. It was like we’d jumped back in time, before it all ended so badly. I didn’t know what I wanted more, for him to be quiet or to keep talking. It was as though I had no sense of self-preservation whatsoever.
I felt myself leaning closer, dangerously closer, as my breathing grew erratic. Something was happening between us, I knew it. Something I had a strong feeling there was no coming back from. His eyes flared with heat. His pupils dilated until the black threatened to overrun the amber. He opened his mouth to speak, but before the words could come out, the door opened with a loud creak, shattering the moment we were so close to having like a delicate piece of china.
“Hey guys,” I heard just as I pulled away from Noah, yanking my hand from his grasp. “How’s it going?” I turned to see Kevin Cinders, one of the biology teachers, walk into the room, his gate carefree, like he hadn’t just interrupted something potentially epic.
I heard a low growl rumble up from Noah’s chest as he glared at the back of the man like he wanted to eviscerate him on sight. It was all too much, too intense, too passionate. The air in the room had grown so thick I had trouble breathing.
“Well, thanks for the coffee,” I sputtered as I shot from the chair, sending it screeching across the floor. “I’ll see you guys later.”
I felt Noah’s eyes burning into me as I scrambled for the door but I didn’t dare look back.
I was in way over my head.
Harlow was avoiding me. It had been a week since the situation in the break room where I was pretty damn certain she was about to kiss me. And God knew it was taking everything in me not to throw her down on that piece of shit laminate table and rip her clothes off.
For the past week she’d done everything in her power not to be alone in a room with me. If I was the only one in the teacher’s lounge, she would turn and walk right out. She made certain to keep as many buffers between us as humanly possible, whether they were people, or just an infinite amount of space. Hell, I’d even seen her eating lunch in her fucking truck one day. All in order to avoid my presence. I had never wanted to kill someone more than I wanted to kill Kevin Cinders that day. And I wouldn’t have felt any guilt over it either.
I knew she wanted me. Every bone in my goddamned body ached to feel her pressed against me, under me, on top of me, however I could have her just as long as my cock was buried deep inside her and she was moaning my name the way she used to.
Sweet Christ, I fucking craved her.
And I was done letting her hide from me.
It was her off-period and her car was still in the parking lot so I knew she was still at the school, but seeing as she wasn’t in the cafeteria, the lounge, or her classroom, I knew just where I’d find her. It was somewhere I’d found her many times back when we were together. She had told me once it was her quiet place. It was the one room she could go into and forget about everything—no problems, no drama, no stres
s existed for her when she was in there.
It had been years since I’d gone into that room, and in that time, I’d forgotten about all the good memories I had in there with Harlow. Not only was it her quiet place, but it was also our secret make out spot after school would let out.
I spun the rotating light-tight door and stepped into the opening, momentarily blanketed in darkness as the door finished its spin before opening into the red light of the darkroom. Sure enough, Harlow was standing exactly where I suspected.
“You’re avoiding me,” I said as I stepped fully into the room.
Harlow released a sharp gasp and spun around. “Shit, Noah! You almost gave me a heart attack.”
“You’re avoiding me,” I repeated as I stepped up next to her, the familiar smell of chemicals reminding me so much of the past.
She let out a long sigh, purposely avoiding answering my question by transferring the photo from one chemical bath to another. Looking down, I studied the photograph she was working on developing, in awe of the natural talent she still had. It was a simple black and white shot of the outside of several storefronts around Sinful Sweets. The boardwalk that made up our small town’s downtown sidewalks had recently been cleared of snow. Everything about the photo was beautiful, from the angle to the people walking through the streets laughing or holding hands. With that one shot, she’d created something so picturesque it looked like a painting.
“You were always so talented, baby,” I spoke reverently, moving in so my chest brushed against her shoulder as I leaned in closer. Her entire body tensed, but the feel of her against me was too desirable for me to pull away. “Why have you been avoiding me, wildflower?” I whispered, my lips near her ear I could feel her tremble.
“Noah, please move back.” Her voice was breathy and thick, the tone belying her words.
“Answer me, baby,” I pressed. For some reason, now that I had her cornered, had her where I wanted her, I couldn’t bring myself to back away until I got an answer. I knew I needed to act cautiously or risk spooking her, but having her within reach unleashed a desperation in me that was growing too strong to ignore.
Wildflower (Colors #4) Page 8
