She shoves a plastic bag into my arms. “Here, there are two in a pack,” she tells me, “Just to be safe and all.”
“I’ve, uh, never used one of these before...” I admit, “I just pee on the end, right?”
“That’s the gist of it,” Bex chirps, “If you need anything, I’ll be right here. OK?”
“OK...” I say softly, staring down at the bag.
“Hey,” Bex says, looking up into my eyes, “Are you alright, honey?”
“I’m just...I’m a little overwhelmed,” I laugh, “This is supposed to happen in high school or college, you know? Bribing some upperclassman to buy you the morning after pill, crossing your fingers until Aunt Flo pops in. I just feel really young all of a sudden.”
“Hey,” Bex says, wrapping me up in a hug, “It’s going to be OK, babe. Let’s just see what the deal is, yeah? It’s fine to be nervous, it doesn’t make you any less brilliant or responsible. If you knew how many times I’ve been in this exact position, you’d be much less worried, I promise you.”
I nod with a weak smile and close the door. I unwrap the tests, marveling at the sleek little instruments that I’ve only ever seen on TV commercials and after school specials. I try to tell myself that I’m just being silly. There’s no way I’m actually pregnant. That doesn’t just happen out of the blue...right? People have scares all the time, but nothing ever comes from them. This is just like a rite of passage. No sweat.
It’s hard not to feel silly as I hover over the porcelain bowl, going through the motions. You’d think they could make a test that required a bit less, well...precision. They sure don’t make it easy to feel elegant while using these things, do they? Finally, when I’ve managed to do my part, I set the first test down on the edge of the sink and let out a huge sigh I didn’t even know I was holding. Nothing to do now but wait, I guess.
I perch on the edge of the bathtub, staring at the little white wand. My toes bounce up and down on the tile, letting my nervous energy out like steam from a kettle. In those silent two minutes, I finally let myself really consider the possibility I actually am pregnant. With Harrison Davies’ child. What will it mean for us, if this is really happening? My career is just taking off, after all. And Harrison’s just been promoted to lead driver for Team McClain. How could we swing having a baby? Would we even want to?
There are options, of course, but I don’t know that I’d be able to choose them. I’m avidly in favor of a woman’s right to choose, but that includes choosing to keep a baby once it’s conceived. I mean, if this baby is real...it’s ours. This wasn’t some one night stand with some guy I don’t really care about. I could be pregnant with the baby of the man I love. That should be a good thing, right? I shake my head, dislodging all these thoughts. There’s no way I can know for sure how I feel until I know if this is really happening.
With trembling knees, I make my way across the bathroom. Suddenly, it feels a mile wide. Step after step I approach, feeling like I’m dragging the weight of the world behind me. I can’t bring myself to look at the test, not right away. I sidle up in front of it and take it in my hand. Forcing deep breaths into my lungs, I finally let my eyes land on that fateful little piece of plastic. For a moment, I can’t register anything. But then, it all becomes incredibly clear.
“Bex?” I call through the door, “Can you...can you come in here?”
The bathroom door eases open and my best friend slips inside. Her eyes are bright and direly curious, but she tries to tamp her enthusiasm down for my sake.
“So?” she asks, “What’s the news, babe?”
“I’m, um...” I stammer, “I’m guessing that if there’s a little blue plus sign, we have our answer, don’t we?”
I can tell from the look on Bex’s face that we do.
“Oh,” I breathe, leaning hard against the sink. My head feels like it’s floating three feet above my shoulders, and I can’t pull myself back down from the clouds. My mind is overloaded, overwhelmed by the news.
“Easy, babe,” Bex says, holding onto my elbows, “Get back to chugging that water. There’s still one more test in the box, and we’re going for two out of three.”
I try like hell to keep hold of my spinning thoughts as I get ready to take the second test. Bex stays in the bathroom beside me as I gulp down as much water as I can, fighting to keep from crying or laughing hysterically. I don’t know anything about false negatives or false positives where these tests are concerned. I’ve never had to. A lot of my friends have gone through pregnancy scares at some point in their lives, but I always assumed that would be something I just skipped right over. But the thing is, I don’t even know if this would count as a pregnancy scare...it’s more like a pregnancy anxious-but-kind-of-excited.
Is it totally messed up that the idea of having a baby with Harrison is, well...kind of amazing? It would take a lot of figuring out, of course, but in the end...we’d have a child together. The most complete expression of our love imaginable. Wasn’t I just wondering if we might want to make our love a bit more permanent? Well, nothing says binding like a kid, that’s for sure.
Bex and I sit huddled together against the bathtub as we wait for the second test to clarify. The minutes tick by in tense, electric silence. Finally, Bex clears her throat and asks the question I know she’s been dying to voice all morning.
“If you are preggo,” she begins, “What do you think you’ll do?”
“I don’t think I can know that until I know for sure whether or not it’s true,” I tell her, “Until then, everything is hypothetical.”
“Well, get ready for things to be a whole lot realer,” Bex says, pulling me up onto my feet. “It’s show time.”
We pad across the bathroom tiles, our hands clasped tightly. I’d swear that my friend is almost as excited as I am. I force myself to stop just short of wondering whether Bex would be a good babysitter or not as we peer down at the completed test.
The floor and ceiling trade places and my entire world spins madly around. A second little plus sign has materialized there on the test. For a moment, it’s all I can do to stare at those two tiny lines. How could one small symbol ever mean so much? That tiny sign is a milestone, a crossroads, one of the most life-changing things that can happen to a woman. And now, it’s happening to me.
“Whoa, Siena,” Bex says, catching me as I slide slowly to the tile floor, “Talk to me, honey. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I...Don’t know how to think through this,” I tell her, shaking my head back and forth, “I don’t even know where to begin.”
Bex sits in front of me, cross-legged, and takes my hands in hers. “Let me ask you this,” she says, “When you saw that it was positive, did your heart sink or soar?”
I look up at her bright green eyes and tell her the truth: “It soared,” I whisper.
“Then I think you have your answer,” she says, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
“Or part of it, anyway,” I breathe, “I’ll have this baby, one way or another. That’s what I know for sure. The whole telling Harrison part, and the career part, and the family part—”
“One thing at a time, baby mama,” Bex grins, “One thing at a time.”
“What do I even do now?” I ask, utterly baffled.
“Well, you’ll have to see a doctor before you know for sure that there’s a bun baking in there,” she tells me, “But let me just get this straight...If you are pregnant...we’re happy about it, right?”
“We’re happy,” I smile softly.
An elated squeal rises out of Bex as she all but tackles me onto the tiles. We wrap our arms around each other, laughing and crying in equal measure.
“I can’t even believe this!” she cries, taking my face in her hands, “In the same twenty four hours, I got engaged, and you found out you’ve got a lovechild on the way!”
“Shit, you’re right!” I exclaim, “What are best friends for if not this, I guess!”
“Siena, I’m so h
appy for you,” Bex sighs, “You’re going to be the cutest little mom ever. Not that that’s the point or anything. You’ll also be the best mom—”
“And you’ll be the most gorgeous bride that’s ever walked down any aisle,” I grin.
“Oh my god,” Bex gasps, “I can’t believe I forgot.”
“That you’re getting married?” I ask her.
“No, I, of course not,” she says, clambering onto her knees before me.
“What are you going, Bex?” I ask, as she clears her throat.
“Siena Lazio,” she begins solemnly, “You are my best friend on the entire planet and the most kick ass woman I’ve ever met. Would you do me the honor of being my maid of...um...honor?”
“Of course!” I laugh, wrapping my arms around her slim shoulders. “But Bex, don’t you have a big sister?”
“Oh sure,” she shrugs, “But she lives in Argentina and doesn’t believe in marriages of any fewer than four people, so I feel like she’s not going to show. Besides, you’re my sister from another mister, Siena. You’re my first choice.”
“Shucks,” I smile, “I can’t wait, Bex. I’ll even hold your hair back if you have one too many tequila shots at the reception.”
“Umm...that’s obviously your number one most important job,” she teases.
“Do you guys have any idea what you want yet, wedding-wise?” I ask, “For you, I’m picturing a gorgeous ballroom, tulle everywhere, eighteen layer cake—”
“Actually,” she blushes, “I really want a smaller affair.”
“Really?” I ask, “Sorry, I’m not trying to sound rude...”
“No, I know it’s surprising,” she laughs, “But honestly, I don’t want to bother with a lot of bells and whistles. I just want a short ceremony at my parents’ place in New York, and an awesome party with my closest friends. I’ve already got the man of my dreams, I don’t need a Pinterest-approved dream wedding too.”
“That sounds amazing, Bex. So classy,” I smile, “But while we’re on a big-question-asking kick here...If it turns out that I’m really, truly pregnant, and we go ahead and have this baby...Do you think you and Charlie would want to be the godparents?”
Bex’s shriek bounces off the bathroom walls as she throws her arms around me.
“Are you kidding?” she cries, “Of course of course of course!”
“Really? You don’t seem that into it,” I tease.
“This is beyond incredible. I am going to spoil the shit out of this kid,” she goes on, “Oh my god, do you think it’s going to be a boy or girl? What are you going to name it? Where’s it going to spend Christmas? Should I learn to knit so I can make booties?”
“One thing at a time, remember?” I laugh, “I need to see a doctor before anything else—”
My words stop short as we hear the hotel room door open.
“Hello?” Charlie calls, “Bex, are you here?”
“Shit!” she hisses, “Get rid of the tests!”
I spring to my feet and sweep the pregnancy tests into the garbage can. I’ve just dunked the last wrapper when Charlie pokes his head around the bathroom door.
“Oh! Hey, Siena,” he says, bashfully looking away from my romper-clad self, “I didn’t realize you were here.”
“Just having a little girl talk,” Bex chirps.
“Why are you out of breath, babe? Are you OK?” Charlie asks.
“What? Oh. Yeah!” she exclaims, rising to her feet. “I just asked Siena to be my maid of honor. She said yes!”
“That’s great,” Charlie smiles, pulling me into a bear hug, “We’re lucky to have a friend like you, Siena.”
“Can it, Spano. You’re making me blush,” I say, shoving him playfully away.
“There’s only one small problem...” he goes on.
“Huh?” Bex says.
“What’s that?” I ask.
“Well...” Charlie begins, “I don’t have any brothers, or any close guy friends that know me as well as you do, Siena. And as you probably know, we’re going to be having a pretty small wedding, as weddings go. I really only want my closest friends to be there, and, well...my closest friend is you.”
“Charlie, are you asking me...?” I gasp.
“Siena, I want you to be my best woman,” he says, in all seriousness.
“Best woman?” I repeat.
“I know it’s unconventional,” he says quickly, “But—”
I cut him off as I throw my arms around the two of them.
“You crazy kids!” I cry, “I can’t get enough of you. Of course I’ll be your best woman, Charlie. And your maid of honor, Bex! Hell, I’ll be the flower girl and ring bearer too if you’re in the market. I’m just so happy for you.”
“I think my heart’s going to burst,” Bex breathes, “Between the season, and our engagement, and—”
I shoot her a look to stop her tongue before she spills my secret to Charlie. She snaps her mouth shut and gives me a big wink. I know that my secret it safe with Bex, even from her brand new fiancé. There are some things in life you can just rely on, and a true best friend’s confidence in one of them.
“I’d better leave you two love birds alone,” I smile, edging toward the door, “I’ve got to rouse my old man.”
“Yeah. You guys have a lot to talk about,” Bex says, “With, uh...travel plans back to London. And everything.”
Nice save, says the eye-roll I shoot her way. But she’s right about one thing. Harrison and I need to have a little conversation once I get back to the room. How in the world do you tell the man you’ve been seeing that you’ve got a surprise bun in the oven? I just have to put on my big girl panties and do it. What other choice do I have?
CHAPTER TWO
When I finally manage to collect myself, after a fair bit of babbling, laughing, and crying with Bex and Charlie, I slip back into the hotel room I’m sharing with Harrison. I’m resolved to tell him about my news at once—rip off the band aid and get it over with. It’s not exactly a comfortable conversation to have, of course, but I can’t let that stop me.
I can hear the shower running as I close the door behind me. The bathroom door is open just a crack, and a thin veil of steam wafts into the room. Arms wrapped around my waist, I make my way over and nudge open the bathroom door. A warm billow of air draws me inside invitingly.
“Harrison?”
The shower door is totally transparent, and though the glass is fogged, I still get a mind-blowing look at Harrison’s built body as he turns to face me. A wide smile crinkles his gorgeous face as he runs a hand through his soaked hair. I can’t help but let my eyes rake down over his broad shoulders, the smooth panes of his firm chest, the expanse of cut abs, that tantalizing "v" of his hips, and of course...
“Siena Lazio,” he says, “Are you giving me a once over?”
“Can you blame me?” I ask, “Just look at you.”
“I’d much rather be looking at you,” he says, his voice muffled by the glass. Water runs in wide rivulets over his perfect form—I can’t tear my eyes away. “Why don’t you join me in here?” he goes on, “The water’s great.”
I waver for a moment, my big news tearing at the corners of my mind. I need to come right out and tell Harrison about the pregnancy tests, right?
“Actually babe,” I say, “I was hoping we could talk about something first.”
“We have all the time in the world for talking, now that the tournament is over,” he says, “But right now, I have a few other ideas.”
I swallow a groan. How am I supposed to carry on with this tricky conversation when stepping into the shower is Harrison is the other option?
“It’s kind of important...” I go on, stalling for time.
“Not as important as getting to spend every waking minute with you,” he replies.
I bite my lip, wavering. I haven’t had any time at all to process this pregnancy thing. I haven’t even been to see a doctor, yet. Maybe there’s no use in bringing it up just no
w. I don’t really know how he’ll react to the news—this is something we’ve never discussed. Best to hold off until I’ve had some time to think, surely. Besides, we’ve got some other pressing matters to attend to just now...
“Come on,” Harrison urges, “You know I can’t get enough of you.”
“Oh, the feeling’s mutual,” I tell him, sliding the straps of my romper down over my shoulders. Harrison’s eyes follow the descent of my garment, lingering on my breasts as they spill out of the flimsy cotton, trailing down between my legs as I let the romper fall. I step out of the little pool of fabric and meet Harrison’s gaze.
I’ve long since stopped feeling self-conscious in front of Harrison. If anything, I’m far more confident when in his company. But now, given this morning’s discovery, being naked before him is a new affair. I have to fight to keep my curious hands from resting on my belly. I find myself wondering, in the heat of this moment, exactly how far along I might be? For all I know, I could be months deep, here.
“Jesus...” Harrison breathes, resting a hand against the glass.
“What is it?” I ask, alarmed. Am I already showing or something?
“I swear, you get more stunning every time I see you,” Harrison says.
Even through the fogged-up glass, I can see him responding to the sight of me. I grin, delighted by the way I can turn him on from across the room. The swell of him sets off a deep, urgent throbbing inside my core. Warm desire radiates through me, propelling me toward him. I cross the bathroom, letting my hips sway ever so slightly, and pull open the shower door. A wall of hot steam pours over me as I step inside. Blinking into the misty air, my hands reach for Harrison and find him. Our bodies meet, instantly entwining. We know each other so well already. He presses my back against the cool tile, and I moan as his stiff manhood brushes against my thigh.
I’ve always preferred my showers with Harrison to be a little bit dirty.
His skin is slick as he presses up against me, and a shiver passes through me at how smoothly we move against each other. My breasts balloon against his hard chest as my breath comes hard and fast. One touch from Harrison is all it takes to get me revved up. He takes my face in his hands and brings his lips to mine. My mouth opens to him, and his taste lights me up. I let my hands travel down his sculpted torso, my fingertips grazing his tanned skin. He sucks in a quick breath as I trace my touch down past his hip bones and wrap my hands around his thick, throbbing member.
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