‘Do I shwallow or sthuck?’ mumbled Natasha.
‘Chew. I’ll take some too. Now lie back and try and relax.’
‘What will it do?’
He smiled. ‘Wait and see.’
Some time later, Matt lay gazing up at the stars as Natasha regained her breath. He knew they’d have to leave soon; it was a miracle no one had heard them before, the noise she’d made as he’d made love to her the second time. The first time she’d expressed her pleasure by digging her nails into his backside until he’d almost squealed himself.
‘What the fack was that stuff?’ she demanded as they got dressed. ‘And please, please, can I have some more? That was the most amazing shag I’ve ever had, and you, Minty, were enormous, if you don’t mind me saying. I want every time to be like that.’
Matt patted her bottom. ‘I can’t tell you. In fact, no one really knows. I was given them by some tribal elder and he said he’d have to shoot me with a poisoned arrow if I found out the ingredients.’
‘Facking hell!’
‘Quite. I didn’t dare bring any more through customs. Now, you’re getting cold. Shall we go and have a coffee?’
‘Just a coffee?’ said Natasha, her face crestfallen.
He kissed her as he ushered her into the car, trying not to laugh. He’d known the so-called herbal aphrodisiac he’d given her couldn’t possibly work, but Natasha had believed it would give her the shag of a lifetime and that was all that mattered. ‘You’ve had more than the recommended dose already, I’m afraid. If we do it again, I’ll have to give it to you straight. You’ll have to make do with the ordinary variety.’
Chapter 15
‘La isla bonita…’ Carrie sang her heart out above the noise of the juicer in the cottage kitchen. Today was the day and she felt like a new woman. A woman who was off on her holidays. A woman who’d packed four bikinis and three times as many shoes as she actually needed. A woman who had taken control of her life and was moving on.
The encounter with Matt and his friends in the Trout had been consigned to history. The shock of hearing Fenella was pregnant had been filed away under Lucky Escape. After all, she could never have cut loose and gone off on a road trip if she’d been married to Huw, especially if she’d had children. She knew she was rationalizing, making the best of the situation, but that was the only way to survive.
She was crunching on her third slice of toast when she heard Dolly trundling up the village street. She felt a weird feeling of excitement that wasn’t far off the way she felt when she was about to go on stage sometimes. She almost ran outside before slowing down to a pace more suited to someone about to turn thirty. Nelson slid open Dolly’s side door, his expression more lugubrious than ever.
‘Where’s Rowena?’ he asked gloomily.
‘On the phone to someone, I think. Can I start loading our bags?’
‘Yeah, but I hope you haven’t brought too much crap. These vans don’t hold a lot and it puts too much strain on the engine if they’re overloaded. Doesn’t do the road-holding any good either.’
‘We’ve tried to keep it to the essentials,’ said Carrie, determined to stay cheerful whatever. The last thing she wanted was for Nelson to have second thoughts and cancel the trip. She was now so desperate to get away, she thought she might explode if they couldn’t set off.
Nelson gave a sigh but reached for her rucksack. Carrie wondered what he’d say when he saw their other luggage and the crate of beer, and decided to let Rowena break that one to him.
‘Before you set off, I think I should give you a few tips for driving Dolly, show you around the engine, run through a few dos and don’ts,’ he said.
‘Well, I’m sure Rowena’s fully up to speed with all the techie stuff,’ Carrie replied firmly.
He grunted. ‘What if Rowena’s incapacitated or unable to perform her duties? You’ll have to take over. No, I definitely think you should have a lesson. It’s the least Dolly deserves before I let you take charge of her.’
Not being able to deny that Rowena might conceivably be unable to perform her duties at some point, Carrie had to give in. Twenty minutes later she was trying desperately hard to pay attention as Nelson rattled on about Dolly’s big end and warned her about the van’s asthmatic intake (not that it was Dolly’s fault at her age, of course). He was particularly obsessed with the spongy brakes and mercurial gear-changing. Carrie wished he’d give her some credit. She’d been driving for more than twelve years. How hard could it be? All you had to do was point the thing in the right direction. She sighed in relief as Rowena emerged from the house. Then frowned at her friend’s pale face.
‘Are you all right, Rowena?’
‘Fine. Totally fine.’
The totally said everything. ‘Who was the phone call from?’ Carrie asked.
‘Mum. She worries about me, you know. Warning me about muggers and pickpockets. As if I needed warning. I see you’ve already started loading up,’ said Rowena.
‘Yeah. Seems like you girls took my advice for a change and didn’t bring too much,’ said Nelson sarcastically.
‘I thought we’d better wait for you, Row. I didn’t want to forget anything,’ said Carrie, sensing trouble brewing over the luggage.
‘Forget anything my arse. You’ll never have room to sleep if you take all that stuff. There’s the awning to go in yet,’ grumbled Nelson.
‘Oh stop rattling on, Nelson. You sound like an old woman!’ snapped Rowena. Nelson’s face dropped like a stone, and she threw him an apologetic smile. ‘Sorry. I’m a bit tetchy this morning.’ She lowered her voice. ‘Time of the month, you know.’
Carrie knew the effect that any hint of female problems would have on Nelson, and sure enough he muttered something about carburetors and scuttled off to the rear of the van. She felt terribly sorry for him, and worse, she was now certain that there really was something wrong with Rowena, who was pacing about, chain-smoking.
Carrie almost dragged her into the kitchen. ‘Tell me what’s going on. You look like you’re going for colonic irrigation rather than on holiday, and you almost took Nelson’s head off.’
‘And this from Miss Sweetness and Light,’ snapped Rowena.
Carrie felt as though she’d been slapped. Rowena shook her head and said, ‘Carrie, it’s no good. I have to tell you, I can’t come on the trip.’
Carrie couldn’t speak. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing. ‘Can’t come? Why? Is it your mum? Is she ill?’
‘No, Mum’s fine.’
‘Then tell me why we can’t go. If something has happened, I’ll try to understand,’ said Carrie, attempting not to burst into tears for Rowena’s sake.
‘You remember when we were doing Grease? On the last night? When that man with the bad wig got talking to me and you thought he wanted to get inside my knickers?’ said Rowena.
‘Yes,’ said Carrie, puzzled.
‘Well, Wiggy—the man—works for an independent production company. He was staying with a friend and got dragged along to Grease. He suggested I go for an audition in London for a new medical soap called HeartAche.’
‘HeartAche? You are joking!’
‘It’s not that crap a title,’ said Rowena defensively.
‘It’s not the title… I’m just amazed that you actually went to an audition for a soap.’ That she’d managed to keep it a secret was what Carrie really meant.
‘It was months ago. I’d convinced myself they weren’t interested,’ said Rowena airily.
‘And you couldn’t tell me?’ said Carrie, realizing just what she’d missed over the past few months. She really had been on another planet.
‘Oh, you had enough to worry about without me going on about it.’
Carrie felt a lump form in her throat. Rowena hadn’t wanted to lord it over her when she’d b
een so down.
‘Well, yesterday morning the casting woman phoned to say that they wanted to offer me the part but I’d have to be in London later today. I tried to stall her for a few days but she wanted an answer first thing this morning.’
Horrified that she might have ruined Rowena’s big chance, Carrie went into overdrive. ‘I can’t believe you’d turn down a part in a soap for me! Now I know why you were so upset when you came off the phone. You raving nutter, Rowena. You can’t pass up a chance like this.’
‘But I’d promised you we’d have this holiday. I know how much it means to you and I couldn’t let you down.’ Rowena chewed her lip nervously. ‘I was stressing about it all day yesterday, wondering whether to accept or not. You know I’d sell my granny for the part but I also know how much you need this break. Either way I was letting someone down.’
Carrie felt physically sick at the thought of Rowena giving up her dream because she felt sorry for her. ‘No. No way, Jose. You can’t turn this down, not for me, not for anyone. You have to get back on that phone and tell them you’ve changed your mind. Grovel, lick their boots, do anything, but don’t throw this away.’
Rowena’s face lit up, her eyes suspiciously bright. Rowena never cried, not for real. ‘Do you really mean it, hon?’ she said.
‘Of course I mean it, you daft devil.’
‘I’m so relieved you feel like that. You see, I haven’t thrown my chance away. I thought you wouldn’t want me to, so I phoned back first thing and said yes. It means I’d have to miss out on the first term at drama school and if they kept me in the show, I probably wouldn’t be able to go at all, but this is my big chance.’
Carrie’s heart skipped a beat. She was so proud on Rowena’s behalf, so buoyed up by her delight and enthusiasm, that it almost felt like she’d got the part herself. ‘I’m so glad you decided to go for it. I couldn’t have lived with myself otherwise. What part is it?’
‘Shameless Hospital Hussy,’ said Rowena proudly. ‘With an addiction to Internet gambling and a secret conviction for stealing men’s underwear from washing lines. She has a checkered past, you see.’
‘How could they ever have given the role to anyone else?’
‘Thanks for being so great about this. I should have had more faith. I should have known you wouldn’t mind, but I didn’t want to let you down. You know we’ve always stuck together,’ said Rowena.
‘Now don’t go all sentimental. No hysterical blubbing and overacting. Save that for the show.’
‘Okay. But that leaves you alone with Dolly, and I can’t have that.’
‘Why not? Dolly and me get along just fine,’ said Carrie, hoping she was making a convincing job of the ‘heroine puts on brave face for friend’s sake’ act.
Rowena was all smiles now. ‘Ah. Now that’s the tricky part. I didn’t want you to miss out on your holiday because of me. I didn’t want you to go off on your own and I couldn’t think of anyone else who was free at short notice or had sod-all to do for a month.’
‘No,’ said Carrie, as she realized what Rowena was about to say. ‘No. You haven’t. You’d better not have.’
‘Honey, it was the only thing I could come up with at short notice.’
Just then, the stable door of the kitchen crashed open and Matt stood in the doorway, a rucksack on his back and a broad grin on his face.
Chapter 16
‘Absolutely, definitely not.’
‘Carrie. Be reasonable,’ pleaded Rowena as they stood at the front of the van. Matt was by the gate, talking on his phone.
‘No. Non. Nein. There, you have it in three languages. How’s that?’ said Carrie, still reeling with shock at Rowena’s bombshell.
‘Shhh. Matt will hear you,’ hissed Rowena, desperation creeping into her voice.
‘I don’t give a toss. I am not going on holiday with Matt Landor.’
‘Come and sit in the van and listen to me. This is the best solution.’
Inside the van, Rowena shut the door. Nelson and Matt were leaning over a map on the bonnet of Matt’s Mini, Nelson’s plump backside nestling next to Matt’s firm one. Matt’s jeans tautened over his backside as he picked something up off the ground.
‘The answer’s still no,’ Carrie said. ‘I don’t need a babysitter. I’ll be fine on my own.’
‘But it’s not that simple, hon.’
‘What d’you mean, not that simple?’
Rowena glanced out of the window and lowered her voice. ‘Nelson isn’t too keen on letting you loose with Dolly.’
‘But he was going to let us go off together.’
‘Yes. Us. But you, on your own, that’s a different matter. Please don’t blame him, Carrie. You know he’s a worrier. Dolly means everything to him. You do as well, of course,’ she added hastily.
‘I think what you’re really trying to say is that Nelson thinks I’m unstable and can’t be trusted to handle Dolly on my own without driving her over a cliff.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t say that exactly, but he was at the church that day. He saw what happened. He doesn’t know you as well as I do.’
‘I wish people would forget about that. I wasn’t myself, and why would he trust Matt to come along anyway? What does he know about vintage camper vans?’
‘Quite a bit actually.’ Matt popped his face inside the van, grinning. ‘One of my mates had one in boarding school. We spent months bumming about round Wales in it before I went to uni. Best time I’ve ever had in my life. I’ve just been admiring the Love Machine.’
‘It’s Dolly, actually,’ said Carrie sarcastically.
Matt let out a low whistle. ‘Great name. Come to think of it, great singer. I’ve always rated her version of “I Will Always Love You.” Much better than that OTT Whitney Houston crap.’
To her horror, Carrie saw Nelson’s jaw drop in astonishment and admiration.
‘Would I be right in thinking that Dolly had the original Canterbury Pitt conversion?’ added Matt with a disarming grin.
‘One of the finest examples in the country,’ said Nelson, almost smiling. Carrie watched him turn to putty in Matt’s skillful hands. Within minutes, they were both poking around in Dolly’s engine, touching up her paintwork, and drooling over her big end.
‘That is a truly disgusting sight,’ murmured Carrie.
‘I knew I should have turned down the part,’ said Rowena, seeing her face.
‘No you shouldn’t. You absolutely shouldn’t. But I don’t need Matt to hold my hand on this trip.’
‘I know that, but I can think of worse blokes to share a confined space with. He knows about camper vans, and if you chop your finger off or catch a life-threatening disease, who better to have around?’ Rowena gave a sly smile. ‘You have to admit that he’s pretty easy on the eye, and he was so nice the morning after Huw’s wedding, phoning to see how you were.’
Carrie folded her arms but said nothing. She wanted Rowena to suffer.
‘And I had his number in my mobile and I just thought…’
‘Just thought what?’
‘Well, it might be totally bizarre and I might be horribly wrong, but I thought there might be some sort of, um… chemistry between you.’
‘Spark? Chemistry? Oh yeah, put us together in a confined space and we’ll both explode, you mean!’
‘Carrie, be reasonable. After all, they say hate is only the flip side of love. Look at Rhett and Scarlett. Beatrice and Benedick…’
‘They’re fictional, Rowena. Made up. Not real.’
She held up her palms. ‘Okay. Okay. Maybe you’re not destined for each other, but you definitely need a… distraction, and even if you really don’t fancy him, can’t you at least agree to get along and hide the daggers for a few weeks?’
Rowena was almost pleading now, and Carrie f
orced herself to imagine whether she could bear the prospect of sharing a tin box with Matt for a month. No. It was unthinkable. No matter how good looking, he was just too patronizing and arrogant.
Seeing Carrie hesitate, a hopeful smile stole over Rowena’s face. ‘Matt seemed very enthusiastic when I asked him. He’s going back to Tuman in October and he was looking for something to do. He’s had a bad time out there. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but…’
‘Really?’ murmured Carrie, her attention focused on the way Matt was caressing Dolly’s dipstick with an oily rag as Nelson drooled.
‘Look, if you’re scared of being with him or something…’ said Rowena.
Carrie’s head snapped back to Rowena. ‘Scared? Why should I be scared?’
Nelson appeared in the doorway. ‘Right. We’ve checked Dolly’s oil levels again and I’d rather you went easy on the gas pedal, but she’s ready to go. If you have any problems, Matt’ll sort them out. Why don’t you finish loading your stuff?’
‘Do you want a few minutes to yourself?’ said Rowena gently.
Carrie climbed out and stood by the gate to the cottage. She knew she was standing on the brink. Stay here in Packley, static, waiting to start the rest of her life, or set off in the van with a bloke she hardly knew. If she’d been looking for an adventure, a metaphorical journey as well as a literal one, this was her chance. She should be mature about the situation and seize the opportunity. They might even get along.
‘If you’re scared I might jump you the moment we get out of the village, you’ll be quite safe. I’ll even wear shorts in bed just for you,’ said Matt from behind her.
Any hope of getting along evaporated as he grinned down at her, but she turned round and squared up to him. ‘I’m not scared of a man called Minty.’
He smiled softly. ‘Look, Caroline, I think we should try and make the best of this for everyone’s sake. I’ve got to go back to work in Tuman in a few months. Until then, I’ve got time I don’t want on my hands. I can’t see myself hanging around Oxford until the autumn with a load of tourists. I was thinking of getting away for a while, and when Rowena phoned me about coming along with you, I decided it was fate.’ He grinned and she knew he was bullshitting her.
Carrie Goes Off the Map Page 9
