by Helen Lacey
She stared at the door, at the room, at the window framing the mountains outside and knew without hesitation that this was where she wanted to be; here, with Luke and Ethan. She’d finally found what she wanted, and in one swift act of cowardice, she’d let it go.
But there was still a chance, wasn’t there? If she explained why she did what she did? If she could make him see that she cared for him, more than she’d ever cared for any man in her life…
She yanked open the door, and took the stairs two at a time, nearly knocking over another guest as she raced to Luke’s office, determined that he should hear her side of it before he kicked her out—or before her courage deserted her.
When she burst into his office, he was sitting behind his desk, his head in his hands. When he glanced up at her, his eyes were hard. “What do you want?” he asked, his voice devoid of all feeling.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
BETRAYAL BURNED THROUGH Luke as he stared up at Marnie—the woman he’d allowed to get so close enough to him, to who he was and what he cared about that she’d made a fool of him. And he had been a fool. A fool to believe what she offered—her sweet, sexy presence in his life, her companionship and helpfulness. All of it a sham while she spied on him. But worse of all, he’d let himself believe that there was someone out there for him who cared about him, and in whom he could trust.
She closed the door softly behind her. “Luke, I came to apologize.”
“Apology not accepted.” The boulder trapped in his chest barely allowed him to get the words out.
She stood at the door, her hands clasped in front of her. “When I came here, I was doing a job for my brother. I owed him a great deal because of my accident. My whole family has always seen me as needing protection. They mean well, but it has made my life difficult at times, especially when I’ve felt inadequate around them. I was determined to prove that I could do the survey work to please my brother Scott. And I admit, in the beginning I didn’t give any thought to who might be hurt by how I answered the questionnaires, or what sort of purpose the answers might be used for.”
He waited, keeping his eyes trained on his desk.
“I hadn’t expected to care about anyone here. Then I met you and Ethan. I was here for James’s birth, and you needed me—”
He heard her sudden intake of breath, but he couldn’t look at her and feel something he knew to be false. He had already spent the past three Christmases mourning the loss of Anna; he refused to let himself feel any more loss…any more pain.
“And so now you’re saying you care.” He gripped the desk to keep from lashing out at her.
“Yes, I do. Very much.”
He heard the quiet sincerity in her voice, and wished the circumstances were different between them. “So, if you cared, why didn’t you tell me what you were doing?”
“At first it was because my brother said he really needed Advantage as a client, and I felt I had to help him.”
“At first? And now?”
“I was going to leave here the day the storm started. I was going to go home and tell Scott to find someone else to do the survey. But when the storm came, and I couldn’t leave, and then I spent time with Ethan, and got to see the new baby, I started to feel part of something so special. Like I was accepted here, not as someone’s daughter, not as someone’s sister. As me. Everyone was so good to me. I was going to tell you about the survey and maybe we could use what I found to improve your operations. I wasn’t going to send it to Scott.”
“Why?”
“Because I care. Because I know what this place means to you. And now it’s special to me, too. The Mirabel Inn is the most beautiful place I’ve ever been. I never suspected that coming here would be the happiest time of my life....” Her words faded to a whisper.
He looked up, his eyes meeting hers, the worry and sadness he saw there tearing at him. He was mad as hell at her, but would he have done things any differently? Like her, he would’ve tried to do his job, as she had done. And hadn’t he asked her to stay even when he knew Scott had lied about the husband and wife thing? So why did he blame her? He didn’t want Advantage to get a report about his management skills, and she said she hadn’t sent it. Besides, what did it matter what the owners found out? If Angus McAndrew and his team intended to sell The Mirabel Inn, the new owners would have their own plans for it, which may or may not include him.
He shook his head to remove the memory that flashed across his mind. Three years ago, he’d sat in this same office, struggling to come to grips with his pain. The funeral for Anna was over and he was faced with the reality that he was alone with his son because of his wife’s behavior.
“Are you all right?” Marnie asked.
“Funny how women can turn the world on its end.”
She came across the room and slid into the chair beside him. “Not just women do that,” she said gently.
“Meaning what?”
Marnie took a deep breath, her eyes searching his face. “Fifteen years ago I had an accident, a careless mistake on my part that resulted in two really difficult surgeries and months of rehabilitation. My dad warned me about my driving, but I didn’t listen.”
“What’s your point?”
“Francine told me about Anna, and how you wanted her to stay in Boston, to not try to drive home in the storm. How she didn’t listen and you blamed—”
“Damn! Does everyone have to weigh in on my life? This is none of your business.” He closed his eyes. He didn’t want to yell at her. “My life is not what we’re discussing here.”
She tilted her chin up in defiance. “She didn’t listen, in the same way that I didn’t listen. The same way so many people don’t listen to the advice of the people who love them.”
“So, what’s your point?’
“Did you ever consider that maybe Anna drove home in that storm because she couldn’t bear to be away from you and Ethan for another moment? That maybe it was her love for her family that made her do what she did? Not her disregard for your warning about the roads? Did you ever consider that until you forgive Anna, you won’t be able to love someone else?”
Her words stung. His breath stopped. “You don’t know anything about my relationship with Anna, and of course she wanted to get home. I wanted her home, but—”
“It’s about more than getting home. It’s that feeling that your day isn’t complete until you feel someone’s arms around you. That your life isn’t whole if you’re not with them. It means that sometimes we act irrationally. And sometimes we need forgiveness.”
Was she right? Was his unwillingness to forgive Anna standing in his way of him finding happiness with another woman? And if so, was Marnie asking for forgiveness for what she’d done? Was she waiting for him to forgive her, as well as Anna? He wasn’t sure about anything anymore. “It might be better for everyone if you went back to Boston.”
Her eyes shiny with tears, she got up slowly. “You want me to leave?”
“If what you say is true, I’m not ready for a relationship.”
Marnie smoothed her hair from her face, and touched the neck of her shirt nervously. “Luke, there’s something else I didn’t tell you.”
He sighed, bracing his hands against his desk. “Out with it.”
“One of the reasons Advantage wanted the survey done was to satisfy a potential buyer. It seems the purchaser wanted to know that there were no problems, either financial or operational. I assume that they’d seen the
profit and loss statement for the inn, and wanted to have an outside party on-site to evaluate the facility.”
“So they’re selling The Mirabel,” he said, sadness and dread filling his heart.
“It would seem so, but since I’m not completing the survey, they’ll have to get someone else to do it.”
“Given what I know about them, they won’t waste any time.”
“Well, at least, they can’t do it while you have no vacancies.”
* * *
SOMEHOW MARNIE MANAGED to make it to her room and close the door before she lost it—tears streaming down her face, her chest hurting as she forced air into her lungs.
What a mess! She’d made Luke angry, and lost her chance with him. Now, she had to tell Scott what she’d done, she owed him that much. He answered on the first ring.
“Tell me you’re finished and you’re on the way home.”
“I’m coming home, but the survey isn’t finished.”
“What? Why not? You’ve been snowed in with nothing but time on your hands.”
“I can’t finish it.”
“Look, Marnie, we’ve been through all this. You don’t want to report on the inn because you have…feelings for the manager. I understand, but as long as he doesn’t know what you’re doing—”
“He does. I told him.”
She waited while Scott huffed and puffed about the need for the survey and his shrinking client list, but she couldn’t care less. Her life was in tatters, and she had nothing to look forward to except coming home and being part of Christmas, minus the Christmas spirit. Scott’s problems paled in the face of what she’d lost.
“Mom’s going to call you today. I couldn’t hold her off any longer.”
“Tell Mom I’m on my way, but tell her I’ve turned off my cell phone.”
“She won’t believe me. You never turn your cell phone off.”
“I will now.” With that she clicked the phone closed and began to toss her clothes into her bag, dumping the underwear out of the drawers and pulling her laundry bag from the bottom of the closet. Her cosmetics were next, and she was about to zip the bag when someone knocked on the door.
Her pulse slowed. Luke? She hurried to open the door. Mary Cunningham stood there with Ethan at her side. “He’s been asking for you.”
“Luke?”
Mary looked startled. “No. Ethan. He wants to play outside with you.”
She tried not to look at the sweet little face peering up at her. “But I…I can’t.”
Ethan reached up and took her hand. “I want you!” he demanded.
At least one of the Harrison men wanted her. And how could she possibly resist those eyes? “Okay, but I can’t play very long.”
He pulled on her hand. “Now!”
The kid was beginning to sound just like his father. “Okay, let me get my jacket and stuff on.” Ethan and Mary stood in the doorway while she got dressed.
“Are you leaving?” Mary asked, glancing around Marnie’s room.
“Yeah. I’ve got to get back to Boston this afternoon.” She couldn’t believe how close she’d come to spending Christmas here—a dream with no chance of coming true.
She glanced around the room, the tall windows with the white light coming in through the frosted panes. Her bright blue top she’d forgotten to pack draped over a chair. All the memories this room held for her… “Okay, big guy, let’s go.”
“Thanks,” Mary said, sighing. “Oh, by the way, Henry is waiting to go out with you. He’s down by the patio doors.”
“Would you like me to walk him?” Marnie asked.
“No, he’s been walked, and he won’t run away on you. He always stays with Ethan. You and Henry are best buddies, aren’t you?” Mary asked, patting Ethan on the shoulder.
“Henry loves me.” Ethan squared his shoulders, glancing from one woman to the other with a grin that would soften the meanest heart.
“I really appreciate this. We’re so busy today with getting the Christmas Getaway guests settled in for the evening activities.”
“It’s not a problem.”
She took Ethan’s hand and went downstairs with him, listening to his excited chatter about playing in the snow, and as she listened, all she could think about was that this was over for her. This was the last time she’d play outside with Ethan, or walk past the dining room, or greet the other staff members she’d gotten to know.
She really should say goodbye to Francine when she came back in from playing with Ethan. She liked her so much and would miss her, but not nearly as much as she would miss Luke and Ethan.
She blinked to keep from crying and made a big deal out of getting Ethan’s mitts on before she opened the patio doors. Henry barked in canine delight as he waited, his nose pressed to the glass of the door.
“There. We’re ready, aren’t we?” she asked the dog, rubbing his glossy coat.
“Go!” Ethan pulled on the door handle in vain. “Out, please,” he said, turning his sorrowful look on Marnie.
“Okay, off we go,” she said with all the bravado she could muster.
Ethan squeezed past her through the door as he and Henry raced each other into the snow. Outside, the air was crisp and the wind swirled a plume of snow up past the windows of the inn. The lights on the fir tree by the corner of the patio glowed like sugarcoated jelly beans through the snow-covered branches. Someone had cleared the patio of snow, creating an outdoor playroom.
“My truck.” Ethan shuffled over to the huge yellow dump truck sticking out of the wall of snow. His arms flailing at the snow, he yelled over his shoulder. “Help me dig.”
Marnie knelt down beside him, and dug his truck out of the drift. As she watched the little boy playing with his truck, accompanied by his gleeful chatter about Santa, cookies and Christmas, she felt overwhelmed by a sense of loss. This would be the last time she played with Ethan, and she was so sorry to be leaving him. Forcing back her tears, she filled her mitts with snow and dumped them into the back of the truck.
* * *
UNABLE TO CONCENTRATE on his work, Luke was about to shut off his computer when the phone rang. When he answered, a voice boomed, “This is Simon Mandel.”
Luke didn’t recognize the name. “How can I help you?”
“I called to compliment a member of your staff.”
“Thank you, Mr. Mandel, we always appreciate hearing compliments about our staff.”
“I booked a ski package at your inn the other night. A woman name Marnie something made the reservation. Can’t remember her last name, but her first name stuck because I’d never heard it before. Anyway, she was so friendly and went out of her way to explain everything to me. I had planned to book with another inn and was just calling for a price comparison, but Marnie convinced me to book with you. That’s one smart lady you’ve got there, and I ought to know. I’m in retail and I don’t need to tell you how hard it is to hire good people who understand the customer’s need to feel appreciated.”
Remorse knotted Luke’s stomach. Marnie would never know how much this client appreciated her. A few hours ago, he would have searched her out, told her about what the man had said. But he’d made the decision that sent her packing, and now… Now, he wished he could tell her about the compliment, about how much he appreciated her helping them in a pinch, and doing such a good job for him. And she had done a good job, the other staff had corroborated that, but he hadn’t told her that, either. He’d let her leave here
without ever acknowledging that she’d made a difference to the inn and to him. “I’ll be sure to tell her,” he lied.
“You do that, and you tell her I’m looking forward to meeting her in person in February.”
“I will,” he lied again.
He hung up, wishing he could take back what he’d said to Marnie. Part of the reason he’d accomplished nothing since she’d left his office was that he’d mulled over what she’d said, and despite the fact he was still angry, he had to admit that she was right. Anna would have wanted to get back home to him, to Ethan. Sure she should have waited for the storm to pass, but she loved them, and she would have wanted to be home to tuck Ethan into bed and then watch It’s a Wonderful Life with Luke as they’d planned to do.
As much as he resented Marnie’s words, she had made him face the anger he felt toward Anna. But once again, he’d been too proud to confront how he felt, so he’d taken it out on Marnie.
Had he used his grief to protect himself from ever caring for anyone again? Marnie wouldn’t have said the things she’d said, unless she had feelings for him. Why didn’t he just admit his mistake and bring her back?
There was no time to lose if he wanted this to be a special Christmas, one he would remember for the rest of his life. He prayed he wasn’t too late, that she was already gone…probably halfway home to Christmas with her family.
You didn’t even say goodbye to her, or wish her a merry Christmas.
Feeling like the biggest jerk ever he left his office in search of her. He got as far as the dining room when he heard Ethan crying. He strode quickly in the direction of the sound, his heart pounding with anxiety. At the hall leading to the patio, he saw his son clinging to Marnie’s neck, the tears staining her cheeks. As he approached, Henry slinked past him down the corridor.
