by Belle Ami
Adelia flipped quickly through the album, glancing at photographs until one photo caught her eye. Her heartbeat quickened as she stared at the old snapshot. It must have been taken before their father lost his auto-repair shop. The picture featured a grinning preteen Miles in oil-stained overalls, working with a wrench under the hood of a car. It had never occurred to Adelia that Miles knew anything about cars other than driving them. She suddenly felt sickened by the possible implications. Could Miles have tampered with the brakes of the Porsche?
Karolin’s voice interrupted, calling, “Adelia, are you all right?”
“Yes…yes…I’m coming.”
Closing the album, she breathed deeply, composing herself.
“What took you so long?” Karolin peered quizzically at Adelia as she entered the great room.
Handing the cell phone to Karolin, she said, “Sorry, I missed the call, but when I went in your room, I saw the photo album lying on your nightstand. I hope you don’t mind, but curiosity got the better of me. I’d never seen some of those photos of you and Miles as children. I started looking, and I was mesmerized. I just forgot about everything.”
“You look pale.”
“No, I’m fine.” She brightened. “You guys were so cute.” Turning her eyes to the twins, she added, “Did you ever notice how striking your resemblance is to the twins?”
Karolin’s gaze penetrated the equilibrium that Adelia was fighting to maintain. “That’s perfectly understandable, considering our kinship.”
“I know, but looking at the photos made me appreciate it even more.” Liam’s arms reached toward her as she bent to pick him up. “Are you hungry, big boy?” Pressing her lips into Liam’s neck, she blew kisses, sending him into fits of giggles. “It’s dinner time. Let’s feed you. And then we’ll have a nice, warm bath and then bedtime. Daddy’s coming home!”
Karolin knelt to pick up Fallyn and then followed her sister-in-law from the room. Her eyes bored suspiciously into the back of a retreating Adelia.
Adelia woke with a start, adrenaline pumping through her veins. Out of breath and disoriented, she checked the clock, which read two, as she sought confirmation that she was really awake. The recurring nightmare was always the same. She was pursued and running, sometimes with Detective Weiss, sometimes alone. What was never clear was the face of who was chasing her or why the person was chasing her. She got out of bed and grabbed her dressing gown. What she needed was a glass of milk.
She opened the door to the hallway and was surprised to hear voices coming from Karolin’s room. She crept down the hall and hesitated at the door, listening. Miles and Karolin were clearly arguing, which in itself wasn’t that unusual. She reached for the knob to open the door, her first inclination being to intercede and end what, in most instances, was silly sibling bellicosity.
Instead, Karolin’s words stilled her hand. “We had a plan, Miles, and now you are reneging. I’m tired of your excuses.”
“Karolin, I know this isn’t what we planned, but sometimes unforeseeable things happen. It isn’t so bad.”
“Bad…bad? It’s worse than bad. You promised, and now you want to change the deal. You know how I suffered…the price I paid, and now…now when everything is perfectly in place to realize our dream, you’re backing out! I won’t let you!”
“Shh…keep your voice down. Do you want to wake everyone in the house? It’s enough, Karolin; let it rest. I’ve given you everything you ever wanted, but I can’t give you this. I should never have agreed. It was a crazy idea anyway. I won’t discuss this anymore; I’m tired, and I’m going to bed.”
Adelia raced back to the bedroom, her heart pounding, and jumped into bed, pretending to be asleep. She did not hear Karolin’s retort, “Miles, how can you be so cruel? Have you forgotten our childhood, the years of sexual abuse I endured from that monster uncle of ours, so you and I would have a home? You know what the doctors have said. I am damaged beyond repair. I will never have any children of my own. The hysterectomy ended that possibility.”
“You need to come to grips with that and get over it. I’m going to bed.”
“It’s not over, Miles. It will never be over!”
As Miles opened Karolin’s door and exited her bedroom, he had the eerie sensation that there was movement in the hallway. He strode quickly down the hall and entered his bedroom suite, where he found a darkened room where his wife slept. He stood for a moment, orienting himself to the shadows, and watched her sleep, his thoughts in turmoil, anger building inside of him. He wondered how he would find sleep with his blood churning through his veins like this. Damn, Karolin, he thought.
The darkened room offered no answers as Adelia lay motionless, trying to make sense of what she had overheard. She could not fathom what kind of promise Karolin could have extracted from Miles that could now not be fulfilled. She could hear him in the bathroom, preparing for bed. The last thing she wanted was a confrontation in the middle of the night. She rolled away from his side of the bed and pretended to be asleep.
He climbed into bed and pressed into her back, his body hardening with the contact. He sensed her muscles contract in rejection. Feigning drowsiness, she mumbled, “I’m sleeping, honey. Please let me sleep.”
“No!”
She turned to face him, her own anger taking possession of her. “Miles, I said I’m sleeping. I don’t feel like having sex.” She knew she had never rejected his sexual overtures; however, she was indignant that he would deny her the right to refuse.
He stared at her, his eyes as cold as ice as he whispered, “I need you, Adelia. I need you now. This is not an option.”
“We’ll see about that.” She turned her back on him, determined to exercise her will.
Seething, he pushed her face down into the bed, pinning her. Before she could protest or move, he was on top of her, his lips on her ear. “Don’t fight, or it will be worse.”
She struggled beneath him, trying to break free. His cock was hard and throbbing against her butt cheeks. If she couldn’t break free, then at least she would be unyielding. She clenched her muscles and tightly closed her eyes. “Get off me, Miles! You can’t force me,” she hissed.
Her actions only intensified his excitement, his panting breath a clear indication that he was fully aroused. He moaned as if he might climax without even entering her. She hoped he would. Then, with a force that made her cry out, he rammed himself into her, groaning with pleasure. She was dry and frigid to him as he drove himself into her again and again. She moved only as a consequence of the barrage of rapid strokes that assailed her body. In a frenzy, her fingers clawed the bed. He held her pinned beneath him, pressed into the mattress, which shook as he rammed into her sex.
“Don’t you ever tell me you don’t want me… Ah… us… I’m going to fuck you until you beg for more.” He felt himself tighten with anticipation. He reached beneath her, his fingers pressing into her sex as he continued to bang into her, both of their bodies arching with each thrust.
Her mind said no, but her body was beginning to betray her. His deep, steady plunging and probing fingers were beginning to arouse her. The power of his desire was like an aphrodisiac, impossible to ignore. She reminded herself that this was Miles, her husband, the man she loved. If she wanted it to end, she would have to take him to that end. Knowing her words of carnality would drive him over the brink, she moaned, “Give it to me, baby. I want to shower you in nectar and feel you explode inside of me. Don’t stop fucking me, yes…yes!” She cried out, quivering against him, her body unable to withstand the orgasm that demanded satisfaction. It rolled through her in waves of erotic pleasure as her body betrayed her intentions. Her fingers tore at the sheets as he continued his pounding barrage, pressing his advantage on her vulnerability.
He exploded like a gun emptying its rounds; his body racked with tremors as he released his life-force within her. He sank into her,
their bodies’ slick with sweat, his face pressed into her hair, his voice hoarse. “God, that was amazing. I can’t believe how it felt to take you like that.”
She fought to regain her breath, her hissed words fierce with retaliation. “Really! You liked forcing yourself on me when I didn’t want you? I believe that’s called rape!”
“I’m sorry, honey. I’ve been under so much stress lately. London was draining. One of our companies is going bankrupt, and my investors are in an uproar. Please forgive me. I was angry and frustrated.”
Adelia lay prostrate, her silent tears soaking into the sheet. “Don’t blame it on business. Wouldn’t your argument with Karolin be closer to the truth?”
She could feel Miles’s body tense on top of her. “I thought I heard you in the hallway. What did you hear?”
“She accused you of breaking a promise. Why don’t you tell me what promise you aren’t keeping? I’ve never heard Karolin sound so angry.”
Miles pulled out of her and rolled onto his back, frustration returning. “Between the two of you, I don’t know who’s upsetting me more. It was nothing.”
“It didn’t sound like nothing.”
“It’s between Karolin and me. No good can come from you knowing. All you really need to know is that there is nothing in this world that I love more than you. What happened just now was a visceral reaction to your rejection.” He ran his fingers through his hair as he tried to find the words. “Something happens to me…I can’t control my reaction. What I feel for you is overwhelming.” He rolled her into his arms, searching her eyes for understanding. “Please, baby. I could never hurt you.” He gently kissed her tears away. “Please, tell me you forgive me?”
She could feel the building urgency of his kisses. “You scare me, Miles. Sometimes you scare me. I feel like I don’t know who you really are.” She wished she could confront him with all of the lies, all of the secrets unspoken between them. The deception was tearing her apart. She loved him, but could her love withstand the truth?
“No, baby.” His breathing was heavy with desire. “I could never hurt you. From the first moment, you’ve been the one, the only one.”
He made love to her again, so gently that she thought she might die.
Afterward, as they lay entangled, their arms and legs as one, it crossed her mind that she was no closer to knowing what Miles and Karolin had fought about than before. Now there was another dark secret to add to all of the others that plagued her marriage. While Miles slept soundly in her embrace, she lay awake with worry.
The secrets in their marriage were ugly. Those secrets threatened to undermine the foundation of what they had built together. She was besieged with guilt, somehow she had failed Miles. When he needed her most she had rejected him. He had sought solace in the only way he knew how, in the safety of her arms. She tried not to think of the ramifications her rejection had provoked. She tried to understand the child Miles had been, and the devastation that losing his parents had forced upon him and Karolin. It broke her heart. Her husband carried invisible scars that could never be healed. All of his success and accomplishments were a poor substitute for the love that had been stolen from him. Last night had reopened old wounds, and it was her fault. He had needed her, and she had turned her back on him. What he did was never meant to hurt her. It was the reaction of a boy, the boy he had once been, struggling to hold on to the one constant in his life, her love.
His imperfections only made her love him more. She pressed herself closer into his embrace and heard the grateful moan of contentment that escaped his lips. Beyond the secrets, the one thing she was certain of was his love.
Chapter 21
Summer came and went in a paroxysm of activity. Adelia was left with few moments to ruminate over the discrepancies between what was revealed and what was hidden. In what seemed to be a crafted reality of success and abundance, life at Green Way Farms marched forward, an unstoppable conduit to the future.
There had been no further breakthroughs in the case. Solarian had gone bankrupt, and at first, there had been a public furor over the downfall of another US government investment in green energy. However, the entire hullabaloo quickly died down. Americans had short memories. Miles never mentioned the failed endeavor; instead, true to his entrepreneurial spirit, he moved forward to the next deal. Miles’s and her father’s connections with Solarian was another piece of the puzzle that remained unanswered. David was bogged down with the investigation of a pedophile teacher scandal that had rocked the sleepy beach community of Santa Barbara. Faye and Lars Lindstroms’ deaths had been relegated to a back burner, to be taken up at some later date.
As much for the horse business as for her own sanity, Adelia rode every day and was readying herself for a return to the Grand Prix arena and her quest to ride for the US Equestrian Team. A new stallion, a surprise present from Miles for her birthday, showed real promise. The Belgian-born warmblood showed preternatural finesse and jumping ability, which might make him a first-class contender, making his offspring potential million-dollar horses. Already, she had harvested and shipped semen to Lucas, who had implanted a surrogate mare with Roxy’s eggs and Challenger’s semen. They were both hopeful that next spring a healthy foal would come of this match.
In her everyday life, Adelia had become a master of duplicity. To all appearances, she was a devoted, loving mother and wife, business entrepreneur, and partner and friend to her mercurial sister-in-law, while secretly she harbored a building apprehension that manifested itself in nightmares. Miles held her and rocked her back to sleep after these episodic encounters with her subconscious fears. And although the disturbances often ended in a deeply satisfying middle-of-the-night love tryst, he was troubled by their growing frequency. Finally, he insisted she see a therapist. Perhaps if she could have leveled with the psychiatrist, she might have gained some insight into the recurring nightmare and her growing anxiety. However, without any truthful confession on her part, the doctor could only attribute her condition to the normal stresses of being a working mother and perfectionist and prescribed a mild sleeping sedative.
It seems impossible to believe another year has passed, Adelia thought, humming as she put the finishing touches on the cake for Fallyn and Liam’s first birthday. It was Sunday, and they had decided to celebrate today, although the actual birth date fell on Monday. Miles was leaving on Monday for a week’s business in London, and Adelia and Karolin had decided to pop up to New York for a couple of days to shop while he was gone.
They had decided to celebrate the birth of the twins with a party, and Karolin had jumped on the bandwagon, immediately seizing the reins with her insistence on planning the details. Since they’d invited the twins’ Mommy and Me class, they were expecting more than fifty people, not including the children. In her glory as party planner, Karolin had hired a caterer, laid train tracks so a miniature train could take parents and children on rides, and hired a petting zoo and puppeteers, all in the hopes of dazzling her one-year-old niece and nephew. Karolin’s only concession had been the cake that Adelia had insisted on making from scratch. Karolin had acquiesced reluctantly, so long as she could bring in an ice-cream truck.
Adelia walked among her guests with a tottering Fallyn holding tightly to her finger, while Miles carried a drooling Liam who had not yet found the wherewithal to walk unlike his precocious sister. A photographer and videographer followed in close pursuit, preserving the images of a loving family for future enjoyment.
Maggie, one of the moms, hugged Adelia. “This is an amazing party, Adelia. Thank you for inviting us. Jake,” she said, nodding at the chubby, dark-eyed boy on her hip, whose thumb was securely ensconced in his mouth, “is having the best time, but not as good as my husband, Seth, who is on his third margarita and second train ride.” She laughed. “Some men never grow up.”
Joining in with Maggie’s infectious laughter, Adelia said, “It really is a great part
y, isn’t it. I’m so happy that you and Jake are having a good time. I do have to give credit to my sister-in-law, Karolin. She’s our in-house party planner. I’m glad Seth is having as much, if not more, fun than the kids. Why don’t you hang out with us after the party is over? We can put the kids down for naps and spend a little adult time.”
“We’d love to. Besides, I’ll never be able to drag Seth away until the last reveler leaves. You’ll probably have to throw him out to get him to go home.”
After the cake had been cut and “Happy Birthday” sung, most of the couples and their toddlers left. Three or four couples remained, their children napping in a spare bedroom while their nannies kept watch. Continuing the party, the adults chatted in the living room, in getting-to-know-you mode.
Seth Goldman, a lawyer, stood at the bar telling Adelia hilarious stories about some of the courtroom antics he had witnessed as a divorce attorney.
“So I bet this female attorney five hundred bucks that she wouldn’t show up in court wearing this red, plumed hat. Damned if she didn’t show up sporting the hat. She strutted into that courtroom looking like Joan Crawford playing Mildred Pierce. Everyone was staring at her, yet she played it as if there was nothing out of the ordinary. Cool as a cucumber. The judge took one look at her and his face turned red with apoplexy. He called her to the bench. I was dying.”
