“What’s with the tears honey bun?” She hugged me to her side.
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t really know,” I answered melting into her friendly embrace.
“Oh come one, you can tell me. We tell each other everything,” she persisted, cocking an eyebrow at me.
I sighed. “Brad says that he loves me, but he won’t make a move to have more. He’s running around shouting to the heavens about his little girl, but doesn’t shout to the heavens about her momma. I just don’t want to be rejected I guess.” I explain, pushing my foot against the floor to make the swing move.
She sat there looking at my mother and Brad for the longest time. She didn’t say anything, nor did I. When they finally left the front yard and went inside, that’s when she explained to me what she’d been thinking.
“Claire…I believe that if he says he loves you, then he does. I’ve never seen a guy more smitten then that boy right there. Maybe the reason he hasn’t made a move is because he’s afraid he will be the one rejected. He fucked up bad last time, but me and you both know he was trying to make things right. So maybe this time instead of being the one chased, maybe you need to be the chaser.”
She pulled me into her arms, quieting my sobs. I hated it, but dammit, she was right. What if he was waiting for me to bring it up? After months of hate and anguish, can I really forgive him so fast, to let him back into my life. My heart was saying ‘hell yes you can’ but my head was saying ‘no he’ll hurt you again’. I didn’t know which to listen to at this point. But I needed to make my mind up quick.
She guided me inside after my crying fit left. I saw Brad, Mom, and Henry sitting on the couch. My mother looked up from her coffee when I entered, a slow smile spreading across her face. I cocked my head at her before sitting in the recliner facing the window.
“Ok, so is there a reason why we’re here?” I asked, turning from the window and looking at her.
She touched a paper on the coffee table. I saw Henry smile and lay his hand over hers. She released a sigh before picking it up, moving Henry’s hand out of the way in the process. “I want you to see something first.”
She gestured for me to follow her to her room. I noticed that the door right across the hall was left ajar. Deciding to see what it was all about, I pushed the door open. I gasped when I was met with two pink walls and two blue. The room was filled to the brim with baby furniture, and there were three pictures on the wall. Brad, an ultrasound, and then me.
I walked further into the room, turning in every direction. I didn’t know if my mother wanted me to see this or not. But there was no way that I could look away. A sound at the door caught my attention. I saw my mother pushing a stroller into the room with Henry and the others behind her. My chin began quivering, as my eyes brimmed with unshed tears.
“What is all this?” I whispered.
A lone tear fell down her cheek. “This is all for you and Brad.”
She handed me the paper she had earlier, motioning for Brad to join me. My hands were too shaky to open the envelope, so I had Brad do it instead. The moment his eyes took in the contents of the paper, they widened. His mouth hung open in shock which caused me to start panicking. I jerked the paper out of his hands, beginning to read.
“They put the house in your name, Claire Bear. I believe their giving you a home,” he whispered in my ear, giving me a loving kiss on the cheek.
I looked up from the paper in my hands to see that my mother was holding back her sob. I walked the little distance between us, grabbing her into a fierce hug. “What the hell, mom.” I cried into her hair.
She laughed through her tears. “I’m not just signing the house over to you, Claire. I’m not just giving you a home.” She corrected, holding me away from her. “I’m giving both of you a home to raise your little girl in. A real home, with two parents. I don’t give a crap if you two aren’t together. I can tell that man over there loves you so very much, and would lay his life down for little Meredith or you,” she finished on a chuckle.
I snickered. “Little Meredith, huh?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Hey, an old woman can hope, can’t she?”
I stepped away from her and began walking the floor. Imagining myself in just a few short months doing the same thing, however, that time I’ll be tending to a little girl. It was all surreal, to know that my mother gave Brad and I a house. I heard the door shut and thought that they all left me alone until I felt Brad’s front pressed into my back. I leaned into him, welcoming the warmth from his body to seep all the way to my tired bones.
Closing my eyes, I inhaled deeply noting the smell of new paint, and the distinct smell of wood. A sigh escaped my lips, I was finally home. In my home. Or I should say, with much delight, our home. My mother didn’t know what kind of gift that she just gave me. I could no longer fear losing my job in the city. I could no longer fear being away from my family if something were to happen. I was now able to move here and raise my little girl in the house that I grew up in.
I felt Brad’s hot breath against my neck as he kissed the sensitive spot behind my ear. “Your mother’s right, Claire. I do love you and our little girl more than anything.” He stopped to press another kiss to my neck. “I would do anything for you and her. If you could find it in your heart to forgive me. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but I desperately want it. I want to make a family with you, be a family with you and our little one.”
I turned in his arms, lopping my arms around his neck. His hands settled on my waist, a teasing grin playing on my lips. “Oh, really? You want to be a family?” I stood on my tip-toes bringing my lips within just a breath away from his. “I’m sorry to tell you this, Mr. Titan. But…your choice was taken away the moment I got pregnant. You, kind sir, belong to me and this little girl I’m carrying. If you have a problem with that, speak now, or forever hold your peace.”
He grinned, crushing his lips to mine for one hell of a kiss. “I sealed the deal with a kiss, Ms. James. Now you and this little girl belong to me. If you have a problem with that, speak now, or forever hold your peace,” he repeated my words back to me.
I shook my head, looking into his loving eyes. “No problem at all, Thick Dick.”
His laughter rang all through the house as we embraced in our daughter’s room. He looked down and then back in my eyes, cocking his brow in a drop-your-panties kind of way. “You know, I always knew we had something between us.”
I looked down to see that we indeed did have something between us, a whole lot of love, and a little baby girl.
Life was blissfully perfect.
Epilogue
Five Years Four Months Later…
I stand at the kitchen counter drinking my morning cup of coffee. Wow, today was going to be rough. Today was my baby’s fifth birthday, and we were having her party at mom and Henry’s house. Thank God. No mess will be here for me to clean up I snort to myself.
“Mommy…Mommy,” I heard Gemma squeal as she ran up to me.
I picked her up, giving her a kiss on her cherub cheek. “What is it sweet girl?”
She giggled. “When are we leaving? Mammaw promised that I could put the icing on my cake this year. I’m five.” She said holding her little fingers up showing me. “Mammaw said that I’m a big girl this year, and I could help. We have to go or she is going to start without me, hurry mommy, hurry.”
I smile to myself. “Yeah baby just let me get my flip flops on and grab your bag then we are out the door.”
She gives me a look of fright, slapping her little chubby hands to her cheeks. “Mommy! We don’t have that kind of time! We have time to grab my dolly and then we have to go!”
I laugh to myself as I walk through the house getting the things I need for the party that are still here. When we finally make it to the car she is a bouncing ball of energy. Telling me that I’m too old and daddy would have been gone by now.
“Easy killer, see we’re leaving.” I gesture to my litt
le baby that’s five turning thirty it feels like. She is growing up on me, getting so big. I get my mind out of that place, I’ll be balling all day if I start to think about that.
We make our way to my mother’s house and pull into the drive. There she is, my momma in all her glory, and right now she has a little girl yelling at her through the window asking if she waited on her for the cake.
“Did I wait on you? Of course I did baby girl! I promised didn’t I, common we have to get that done. You have a party to host later Ms. Diva.” She says with a smile from ear to ear, catching Gemma just as she launches herself at her.
I get busy with the decorations while my mother has Gemma occupied. If she hadn’t I would have a little decorator that thinks the streamer needs to blow in the wind. I shake my head and get to work. Henry at some point joins the commotion in the kitchen. I go in once I have the balloons and everything taken care of outside.
I walk in to a five year old covered in pink icing, smiling at me. I start to laugh as I stand and just gaze at her. God I can see Brad in her sometimes, and this time is one of them. When she grins her little devilish grin at me, I see him in a lot of things that she does, mainly in her attitude. Well, mostly her attitude I should say.
“Mommy what are you doing? You’re not supposed to come in here. It was supposed to be a surprise!” She looks at me with her pouty lip, starting to tear up. I can’t handle it, she knows that gets me every time. I can’t handle her crying it kills me.
“What can I do sweet girl? Who is going to give you a bath if not me?” I ask her with a laugh.
“I believe that I have bathed a baby girl one or two times myself honey,” My mom says with a little wink to me. “Just go outside and rest honey, you looked like you were working hard out there. When is Brad supposed to get here?”
“He said that he would be here around noon and the party isn’t until one anyway.” I look at my watch and see that it’s about twenty till noon. “He should be here soon.”
“I’ll bring him out there mommy when he gets here, then we can start my party.” She says to me, hopping down off the stool she was standing on. Good lord there was an outline on the stool where she was standing. She was absolutely covered head to toe in icing, I laugh to myself as I make my way out to the back yard. There is only one place that I want to relax, and that’s our tree.
I lay down on the grass under the willow and let my mind drift. Oddly enough it lands on the night that I had our little angel. It was just any regular night, well would have been if Brad hadn’t proposed. I was so emotional back then, we had just got done making love in our new house. Just thinking about him the way he was that night gives me shivers every time.
“Claire Bear, you make me so happy.” He says while bending to kiss my belly, something that he loves doing. He stares up at me lovingly his beautiful blue eyes shining.
“Babe, I love you too. So much. I never knew how I could miss something that I didn’t know I needed; Gemma, you, and I are going to be so happy.” I say as a tear rolls down my face. He brings his thumb up to wipe away my tear away.
“Claire Bear, I thank God every night that he gave you to me, I didn’t know what love was until I met you. Sweetie, you are the piece that I didn’t know was missing. I love you so much, it hurts.” He kisses my belly again.
The silence in the room is tense, like there is something else he wants to say, but just can’t figure out how to word it. Here I am with tears rolling down my face, I feel so loved and am so in love that I could just burst. I feel it leaking from my pores. If love could glow I would be his beacon in the night, leading him to safety.
“Claire Bear… sweetie….” He pauses voice quivering and looks up at me with tears brimming in his eyes, with all the love he has for me pouring out of them in waves. “Will you….”
I am on edge begging him to finish what he is saying, when all of a sudden it feels like I pissed myself. “Brad…. I think my water broke.” About that time, the first contraction hit. I know it was a contraction because I wanted to shit myself right there. At least that’s what it felt like.
He gets me up and rushes me to the hospital, forgetting what he was about to ask me. God that labor was hard, I never thought she would come. Brad was a trooper through it all. Coaching me, getting me things to drink along with rubbing my back. You couldn’t have asked for a better man to go through labor with you.
Then the time came to start the actual pushing. I was scared to death, paralyzed with fright. I’d never done anything like this in my entire life. I was so tired. I could remember hardly being able to breath, let alone use all my strength in the pushes I was doing. Brad was standing next to my head, rubbing my hair and cooing into my ear. His voice always seemed to ground me. But at that time, with no pain medicine, I wasn’t having it. At least until he muttered something in my ear that would stay with me for the rest of my life.
“I know you’re tired, baby. But push, love. Come on, you can do it. Push. Do it for Gemma. Do it for me. You’re so strong, you got this. Come on, I see her….You’re almost there. Be strong. One more big push and she’s all ours.” Brad had whispered into my ear, kissing my cheek between his words, his strong grip on my thigh tightening.
The first second we heard her cry, we were both lost. Brad kissed me through our tears, smiling the entire time. He was one proud daddy. I remembering the fuss he had with the nurses when they were taking so long with cleaning her off, he about blew his lid. But the second they put his little girl in his arms, it seemed like his whole world was right again. Our little Gemma changed both our lives that day. We never knew we could love someone so much as we do our little angel.
I come out of memory lane as my little angel came across the back yard, leading her daddy by the hand. “See mommy, I told you that I would bring daddy to you when he got here.” She turns to Brad who is standing there all smiles and says, “Mommy worked so hard that she got tired and mammaw told her to come rest.”
“Did she now… Did mommy tell you this was our tree?” Brad asked Gemma, who then looked at him like he was three kinds of stupid.
“Yes daddy, mommy tells me this story all the time. Ooooo! Ooooo! Mommy tell me the story about how you and daddy met again, it’s my favorite, please.” She begged sticking her bottom lip out pouting.
I motioned for her to come sit in my lap. When she did, I kissed the top of her head and sighed. “Well sweet girl. The day I met your daddy, is a day I will always remember. It was the first day of mommy’s last year of high school. Daddy stood next to his car, looking very handsome. Your daddy came to my school that year, and I knew without a doubt in my mind I wanted to know him. He was tall, handsome, and had a smile that could kill.” I paused, knowing she would butt in on that part.
“Daddy didn’t kill people did he? That’s a bad daddy if he did.” She starts kicking her legs back and forth.
I chuckled. “No baby, daddy doesn’t hurt anyone. Well, anyway. We had been going to school for quite some time until I got up enough nerve to go talk to him. You see, I didn’t think daddy even noticed me during school. But come to find out, he had. He liked me just as much as I did him. After that day we couldn’t be apart. We went everywhere together, and this tree, my sweet girl was where daddy kissed me for the very first time and told me he loved me.” I finished, hugging her to me so tight I had to remind myself she was still a fragile little thing.
“Aww I love that story mommy… so can we give it to him now? Please mommy I have been holding this forever!” She says while waving the card and envelope around in the air. When in actuality she probably just found it inside and knew what it was since she helped me pick it out.
“Yes my sweet girl, go ahead. Wait, let him set down first.” I say as she jerks him forward and all but pushes him down on the grass beside me. He winks then kisses me, giving me his famous smile that he and his daughter share.
“Daddy, mommy said that since it was my birthday that if I wanted to I could give
you a present too. I wanted to give you a card, but you can help me blow out my candles on my cake too if you want. I’m sorry mammaw only made me a cake. But here you go daddy, happy un-birthday.” she giggles, handing him the envelope. She leans in close, cupping her mouth like she is trying to tell a secret. “That’s what the mad hatter says on Alice in Wonderland.” She finished with a giggle.
As Brad began opening the envelope, Gemma turned toward me and asked me a question she never has before. “Mommy, do you still love daddy?”
My heart simply stopped. I loved Brad with everything in my body. He was the blood in my veins, and the air that I breathed. I looked at my little girl, her tiny lips turned up into a smile. Hugging her to me, I saw that Brad had stopped his process of opening his present. He was just as intrigued as I was by my answer.
“Sweet girl. I’ll always love your daddy. Today, tomorrow, and forever. Your daddy has my whole heart, little dove. When we have him by our sides, we will be able to get through anything. There will be nothing that will be able to stand in our way,” I say, hugging her tightly too me. I looked at Brad, whose eyes were beginning to water. I smiled before finishing what I had to say. “Just remember sweetie, that when your daddy is with us. That no matter where we are. We’ll never have to jump into the unknown alone, because daddy will be right there with us, jumping too.”
She leans in quick with a serious face. “Even if there’s monsters under my bed?”
I giggle, kissing the top of her head. “Yes sweetie, even if there are monsters under your bed.”
She sniffled. “Oh mommy, I love you and daddy so, so, so, much. I love you more than a million dollies.”
Brad’s eyes gazed into mine with so much love I thought my heart was going to burst. This man, my husband loved me and Gemma more than life itself. However his heart would soon have to grow just a little more, only he didn’t know it yet.
“Your mommy is right, Gemma. I will never let anything happen to you or her. You two are daddy’s life.” He leaned over kissing her little cheek, before claiming my lips in a kiss that had me panting within seconds.
Thick: A Stepbrother Romance Page 25
