He opened the passenger seat door for me. I hesitated. I didn’t even know this guy. What was I doing getting into his car?
‘I’m a friend of Max’s,’ he said, sounding amused. ‘You know this, and yet you were more willing to go off with a group of complete strangers, who were definitely after sex, than to get into a car with me.’
Put like that, it did sound absurd, and I swung down into his car without any further protest.
I just sat there, trying to get my head around what was happening and, once he was in the car, he leaned over and pulled my seat belt across me.
As he leaned into me, I felt myself reacting to his proximity, in spite of myself. My breath caught in my throat and my chest swelled. I could feel myself tingling all over, and I hated myself for it. He was infuriating, but he was also almost irresistibly handsome. ‘I can do up a seat belt,’ I said.
‘You haven’t though, have you?’ He pulled the belt down to the buckle, his hand grazing against my thigh as he did so. ‘You seem entirely incapable of looking out for yourself, if you don’t mind my saying so.’
‘I do mind,’ I said angrily, pushing his hand away and fumbling to do up the belt. ‘I’m perfectly well able to look out for myself, thank you.’
This statement would have carried more weight if I’d been able to do up the damned seatbelt. As it was, I continued to fumble until I had to admit defeat and let him do it.
As he slotted the tongue into the buckle first time, he looked up at me with a teasing grin. ‘There,’ he said. ‘All safe.’
I almost smiled. He was insufferably arrogant, but there was a certain charm about him that almost melted me at that moment. Only almost, though. I threw him another glare, and settled back in my seat, looking ahead of me.
‘Where am I taking you?’ I could feel him looking at me, as he put the car into gear and released the brake.
I shrugged. ‘I didn’t know I had a choice.’
‘There’s always a choice,’ he reversed out of the parking space. ‘It’s just a question of making the right one, sometimes.’
The message implicit in his statement wasn’t lost on me. I pressed my lips together, trying not to blush again, and didn’t reply.
‘I can take you home,’ he said. ‘Or we can go on somewhere and…’
He left the sentence hanging, so I filled in the blank for him. ‘Screw?’ I said, shooting him an icy look.
‘No.’ He countered my glare with another amused grin. ‘Not that. I’ve really made a good impression, haven’t I?’ He laughed briefly. ‘I thought you might want to talk.’
‘About what?’ I stared out of the window, as the car pulled out from under the hotel. Then I ducked back in the seat, pressing my back into it and putting my hand up to shield my face.
‘It’s okay, he said. ‘I got rid of the reporters. You’re quite safe, and I’d like to talk to you, if you don’t mind. Just for a little while.’
‘Okay,’ I said. I sensed it would be pointless to argue. He was so calm and controlled, and I had a feeling that, if I’d said no, he’d have insisted anyway. Besides, a part of me was curious to know what he wanted to talk about. The rest of me already had a good idea, though, and that part wasn’t looking forward to it at all.
Twenty Six
I took her down to the Embankment at Chelsea. It just felt right, somehow. I hadn’t walked along it for years; not since Aimee. It hadn’t been so much a decision I’d made, just that I’d had no one I wanted to go there with any more. I wondered why I wanted to take Grace there, and whether I was even more fucked up than I’d thought. Christ, I’d even called her Aimee, which had gone down really well. She now thought I couldn’t even remember her name. No wonder she remained so unimpressed with me.
What was I even doing here with her? I didn’t have a clue. When I’d seen her heading off with those guys, I should’ve stood back…not interfered. I’d promised myself no more, and I should have listened. But that wasn’t fair on Aimee…and it certainly wasn’t fair on Grace.
I looked at her walking ahead of me, her hair lit up in a golden street light halo. She really could have been an angel, with her clear, open face and innocent eyes, but her halo had slipped recently, and I needed to find out what she was planning on doing about it. She turned to look at me, actually smiling, as if she knew I was thinking about her, then stopped and leaned back against the embankment.
When I caught her up, she turned again, and looked out across the river.
‘I could see this from my flat,’ she said. There was a wistful edge to her voice, as if she were missing more than just the view.
‘I can see it from mine,’ I said. ‘On a clear night.’
She didn’t speak again, and I stood behind her, gazing out towards the South Bank. It was relatively quiet and, standing there with her, it was as if everyone else, everything else, had melted away. I could have stayed like that for hours, drinking in the soft musky tones of her perfume, watching her hair flutter slightly in the breeze.
She was so like Aimee, even in the way she appeared so self-possessed. As I stood looking at her, it was as if she’d forgotten I were even there, as if she were miles away, lost in thoughts that had nothing to do with me. I didn’t care. Just being close to her comforted me.
After a while, she turned to me. ‘Thank you,’ she said.
Her simplicity took me by surprise. ‘Don’t mention it,’ I said. ‘Just don’t let it happen again. Not when I’m not there to protect you.’
‘I’ll make sure you’re there then,’ she said, turning away from me and starting to walk again, along the Embankment. ‘Next time.’
I put my hand on her shoulder and span her round. ‘This isn’t a joke,’ I said. ‘Do you have any idea of what you were getting yourself into?’
Her liquid blue eyes narrowed slightly, and she threw me that all-too-familiar glare. ‘Some,’ she said. ‘I have at least some idea, yes. I’m not a total idiot.’
‘So why…?’ I didn’t even want to say the words.
‘Why go with them?’ she looked down, then back up at me, her eyes wide but still full of fury. ‘Because it was what I wanted, that’s why.’
‘How, then,’ I persisted. ‘How could you want that?’
I didn’t even know why I said it. I knew exactly why girls wanted that kind of thing. Hell, I probably knew her reasons better than she did. The truth was, I hadn’t finished the question. The question I’d wanted to ask was; ‘How could you want that, and not want to so much as talk to me?’
She paused for a moment, as if considering the question. ‘I don’t know,’ she said. She gulped slightly and pushed her hair off her face. ‘I just know I want to…’
‘Want to?’ I pressed her, half intrigued, half not wanting to hear.
‘Look, I want to claim back what’s mine,’ she said. ‘That’s all.’
She folded her arms, and pressed her lips together. I knew she wasn’t going to say any more, and it frustrated the hell out of me. How could I help her if she wouldn’t open up to me?
‘I don’t see it’s any of your business, anyway,’ she said, after a long pause. ‘I think I’d like to go home now.’
I shrugged. ‘It’s your call,’ I said, and put my arm out to her. She didn’t move away, but instead let me guide her back towards the car. My hand brushed across her arm and her back. Her skin was tight and cold, prickled with goosebumps.
‘You’re freezing,’ I said, as we reached the car. ‘Here.’
I reached into the back of the car. I’d left my jacket there from earlier. It’d been so hot in the afternoon, I hadn’t needed it. I opened it and held it out to her. She slipped her arms into the sleeves. It was no wonder she was cold. She was so thin – much thinner than when I’d first seen her in Max’s office. She’d been slim then, but gently curved. Now her elbows were like angles. I wrapped the coat around her and she didn’t pull away.
The feeling of her delicate frame in my arms sent an immediate
rush right through me. I couldn’t believe it. I could stand there and watch Felicity Flint getting double-teamed and feel nothing; I could discipline Charlotte, have her naked, crawling across my bedroom floor, and not react; yet one touch of this fragile, fucked-up little angel, and I was a mess.
My heart was pounding, the blood surging into my cock. I couldn’t help myself. I pulled her into me, before leaning down and brushing my lips against her cheek .She lifted her hand and touched the side of my face, pulling me into her neck. I went to kiss it, then pulled back, remembering the guy in the bar earlier. I didn’t want to touch her where he’d been.
I put my hand across her waist, and gently turned her, until she was facing me. Her soft, open face gazed up at me, her lips already parted and, when I put a finger under her chin, she lifted up her head to receive my kiss not just willingly, but eagerly. I brought my hand around behind her head, cradling it as I brought my lips down to meet hers.
She tasted sweet, of mint and oranges, and I drank her in, pushing my tongue into her mouth until it met hers. I pulled her in closer by her waist, and she bent backwards into my kiss, opening her lips further as I explored her mouth. She was like a changed woman in my arms. She’d gone from ice queen to sex goddess in seconds, giving herself up willingly. Easily.
Too easily, I realised suddenly. She was beautiful, she was intriguing but, most of all, she was all over the place. Less than an hour ago, she’d been heading to her ruin with a gang of complete strangers. Only a few minutes ago, she’d still been pushing me away. She could turn on a sixpence and I couldn’t tell whether she really wanted this, or if she was just going with the flow. I couldn’t take the risk. I didn’t want her to regret it, to think about it the next morning and curse her stupidity…curse me for taking advantage of her.
I remembered her, standing on the steps of Ffyvells, her make-up smeared and her face a blur of tears. I didn’t want her hurt any more than she’d already been hurt and, more even than that, I didn’t want to be hurt myself. Not again. I hadn’t thought there was a woman left in the world that could possibly hurt me. The sudden realisation that one existed, and that she was here, her soft mouth open under mine, her body enwrapped in my arms, made me take a physical step backwards.
She seemed to come to her senses then. She blinked, as if coming out of a dream, and looked around her, pulling my jacket closer around her, as if for protection. That did it.
‘Come on, then,’ I said. ‘Let’s get you home.’
She flushed and looked away, with a small, embarrassed laugh. ‘I wasn’t…’ she said. ‘I mean, I’m over that for tonight …’
I held the door open for her, and she dipped down into the car, catching my eye briefly as she did so. I couldn’t work out her expression. It might have been shame, it might have been regret. It might have been something quite other - I had no way of knowing – but those final words of hers sent a chill through me.
I’m over that for tonight.
Before I started the car, I turned to her. ‘You know, if you think you will end up in that…kind of position…again, I can help you.’
She went to speak but, at that moment, her phone rang. Her reaction was immediate. She gave a strangled squawk, and jumped visibly. She fished in her bag and snatched out her mobile, her hands trembling.
‘You’d better take me home,’ she said, staring at the screen.
I wondered who could be calling her to turn her into such a bag of nerves. I waited, to give her time to answer it, but she just continued to stare at it in horror. I put my hand across the back of her seat to reverse out and, as I turned my head, I saw a name on the screen.
Leo
Twenty Seven
Leo rang at least a dozen more times on the way back to Chiswick. We sat in silence, my body still buzzing from his touch but my mind a million miles away, wondering how I was ever going to be able to face Leo now.
I looked over at my driver. He had his eyes on the road and didn’t look up, but he must have wondered why I didn’t just answer, and I could hardly explain to him that I couldn’t face it…couldn’t face telling Leo I was out with him.
My phone had been on ever since I’d left the house, and he hadn’t rung, so I’d thought maybe he’d given up. I couldn’t have been more wrong. From the frequency of the calls and the length of time he let each one ring, he was clearly determined to get through to me. I felt hunted, as if he knew where I was and who I was with, and was desperate to put a stop to it. I knew if I spoke to him, he’d hear the guilt in my voice.
Guilt? Like I owed him any loyalty! I’d have been furious, if I weren't so scared. I knew I must look stupid, not answering. Stupid and immature. I was half tempted to take the call in the end…to tell him I was out with another man and it was none of his damned business…but I knew that wouldn’t cut any ice with Leo.
So I just sat there next to that beautiful man, feeling small and embarrassed and out of place, and with the phone ringing practically non-stop. He didn’t say a word, just steered his car through the quiet night time streets of West London, as if nothing was amiss. He must have known it was Leo. Who else would have been ringing me so insistently? Who else would I want to avoid talking to?
As we swept into Liv’s road, a text came in. I read it, my heart thumping as the reality of the situation hit me.
Having fun are we, Princess? Don’t think I didn’t see you on TV with Kitty. You need to sort it out babe and get home. Or else.
I threw the phone down, as if it were on fire.
‘Listen.’ He pulled over outside Liv’s, and looked at me, his blue eyes calm and steady. He reached his hand out to my breast, and I shrank back. What the hell did he think he was doing? For all he knew, Leo could’ve found out where I was staying and be lying in wait.
‘It’s okay,’ he said. ‘Calm down. I’m just trying to get something out of that jacket.’
Twenty Eight
I see now that this was where I made my latest mistake. Christ, I seemed to be totally inept, but her reaction to the phone calls had distracted me. Why the hell did she seem so frightened? It was her ex, for fuck’s sake. The shit that had sent her off in a tail spin in the first place. What the hell did she have to be worried about? I didn’t like it at all.
Whatever the reason, I could see she was a bundle of nerves, and I gave up on trying to get a card myself. I hadn’t put any in my jacket this evening, but I knew I had some in the pocket of the one I’d been wearing earlier.
‘Look. It’s okay,’ I repeated, trying to sound reassuring. ‘In the pocket of my jacket…can you get out a business card?’
She felt around in the pockets until she finally withdrew her hand, clutching a small white card. She’d obviously picked out two by mistake because, as she passed it to me, another fluttered to the floor by her foot. I was distracted again, looking for a pen in the glove box, and hardly noticed it. I took the one she gave me and flipped it over. I wrote a quick message on the back, before pressing it into her hand.
I looked her in the eyes. ‘Don’t,’ I said. ‘Do anything like that again. At least, not without speaking to me first, okay?’
She gave a brief nod.
‘I mean it,’ I said. ‘If you’re going to do it anyway, don’t do it like that. Don’t end up plastered across the papers or, worse, dead in some gutter. Call me. Do you promise?’
‘I promise,’ she said in a small voice, shrugging off my jacket before opening the car door. She looked up and down the street, as if scared to get out of the car. After a moment or two, she seemed calmer and went to get out. I put my hand on her soft, bare arm briefly, and she turned back to look at me.
‘It’s all right now,’ I said. ‘I have your back.’
She nodded briefly, and got out. The car seemed empty, suddenly, without her - the only sign she’d been there; my jacket in a puddle on the seat.
Just then, a text came in. It was from Rick, on the same throw-away phone he’d contacted me on before.
A oner? I stared at it for a moment. What did he mean…one hundred grand…one mill?
I knew in my heart it was the latter. It had to be. That was why he’d written it like that. He knew he was pushing his luck, and he didn’t quite have the guts to spell it out. A cool million. This changed everything. There was no way I was going to be able to get that by tomorrow. There was no way he was going to get it at all. Christ, it was just one more damned thing. Everything was going to shit.
Grace was standing in front of a quite hideous front door, trying to get her key in. I wondered how she’d ended up living there. It didn’t suit her at all.
She finally got the door open and I watched her go in, wondering what the hell was going on in that pretty head of hers. I put my phone down on the passenger seat and it was then that I noticed the card on the floor. I leaned forward to pick it up. Which pocket had she got it out of, anyway? It was then that it hit me. I hadn’t, had I? Surely not. Hardly wanting to look, I held it up to the light.
Fuck.
Twenty Nine
He was still sitting outside in his car, when I went into the living room. I guessed Liv was asleep, because the lights had all been off when I’d got in. I stood at the window and watched him pull away. Now I was safe, I felt almost excited. Certainly, my heart was fluttering like a trapped moth, and my breath was coming soft and quick.
I think he might actually like me, I thought, putting my fingers to my mouth. My lips were still soft and swollen from his kiss, and the memory of it sent a thrill through me. Even though he was irritating and conceited beyond measure, I couldn’t help being impossibly attracted to him. And tonight, down by the river, he’d been different somehow…softer…more approachable. I almost thought he might be a decent person after all.
Falling from Grace: A Billionaire Romantic Suspense series (The Filth Monger Series Book 1) Page 12
