"I never thought about that aspect," Nicole's eyes opened wide. "Paul used to do things that I couldn't fathom at times and I know he felt the same way about me too. It's like we were from a different planet and couldn't understand each other. Sometimes I wondered if we needed a translator to communicate."
"Men are from Mars and women are from Venus," Ben sang. "Have you not read the book?"
"No," Nicole looked at him like he'd lost his mind. "Have you?"
"I've read it cover to cover. It explains a lot. I'll lend you my copy next time we meet."
"Thanks, I might have to take you up on your offer." Nicole took a long sip of her wine in an effort to hide the giggles that threatened to erupt at any minute. She didn't know if Ben was being serious or not.
"We still haven't definitively answered the question," Ben continued. "Can men and women just be friends?"
"I think the key to male-female friendships, like any other relationship, is communication," Sarah said. "Both people have to openly and honestly discuss what their relationship will mean and establish their boundaries. My friendship with Ben thrived after we acknowledged the frisson of sexual tension between us. We tried to ignore it at first, but our friendship was beginning to fester, so once we'd openly discussed our feelings for each other and decided that we wanted to remain platonic, we had a new confidence and positivity about our relationship."
"I wonder if your friends' partners have issues with them being friends you. I know it seems petty but I have to admit that I'd be jealous if my boyfriend had a close female friend, especially if she was pretty. I'd constantly wonder if there was anything going on between them," Nicole mused.
"My male friends have never mentioned anything to me about their partners' having issues with our friendship," Sarah replied.
"I've gotten some stern looks from my female friends' partners," Ben smirked. "I went to dinner at Melissa's house last week and her husband barely said two words to me all night. He was moody and sullen for most of the meal. Oh well, that's his problem, not mine. I know I'm not doing anything wrong, so he has to deal with own insecurity issues."
"What about the inherent differences between men and women? Is it truly possible for us to be friends?" Nicole insisted. She was finding it difficult to comprehend.
"Come on, Nicole! Welcome to the twenty first century," Sarah said. "The belief that men and women can't be friends is from an archaic era in which women stayed at home and men went out to work and the only way they could get together was for romance."
"Nowadays men and women work together, share sports interests and socialise together. It's inevitable that we become platonic friends," Ben interjected.
"There are so few male-female friendships that it's difficult for even the most liberally minded people to get their heads around it," Sarah continued. "We have rules for how to act in romantic relationships; flirt, date, get married, have kids and we even have rules for same-sex friendships; boys relate by doing activities together, girls by talking and sharing, but the rules for male-female relationships have yet to be established and accepted."
"I think the media has a lot to answer for," Ben said. "Hollywood movies perpetuate the fairytale notion that romantic love is the only option for men and women."
"Television hasn't helped either," Sarah agreed. "Almost every time you see a male-female friendship it ends up turning into a romance.
"Chandler and Monica on Friends started off as just friends but they ended up getting married," Nicole chimed in.
"Exactly," Sarah said. "Look at Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal in the movie "When Harry met Sally." They convinced everyone that sex always comes between men and women, thus making true friendship impossible."
"The cultural images are difficult to overcome," Ben said. "It's no wonder we expect that men and women are always on the road to romance."
"I must say that our conversation has been enlightening," Nicole smiled. "You two have opened my eyes to how I view men and women. So, what are your top tips for making a male-female friendship work?"
"I think we need another drink," Ben interrupted. "I'm working up a thirst from all this debating. What would you ladies like, same again?"
"Same again, please," they answered in unison.
Nicole turned to Sarah when Ben was out of ear shot. "Tell me, honestly, don't you fancy Ben at all?"
"I used to have a serious crush on him," Sarah admitted. "I thought he was the sexiest man I'd ever seen when we first met, but he had a girlfriend at the time so we were just friends. They broke up eventually but by then we'd established our friendship and we didn't want to ruin it by taking it any further. We had to overcome a few issues but now we have an incredible relationship."
"What sort of issues?" Nicole asked curiously.
"Well, first and most importantly, you have to decide if the relationship will be romantic or platonic."
"It must be very difficult to distinguish between romantic, sexual and friendly feelings."
"It was difficult at first," Sarah agreed. "People don't know what feelings are appropriate toward the opposite sex, unless they're what our culture defines as appropriate. You know you love someone and enjoy them as a person, but not enough to date or marry them. What does this mean?"
"How did you and Ben overcome your attraction? The reality is that sexual attraction could suddenly enter the equation of your friendship uninvited. It's probably always lurking in the background. A simple, platonic hug could instantaneously take on a more amorous meaning. You're trying to do a friend-friend thing, but the male-female parts of you get in the way. Unwelcome or not, the attraction must be difficult to ignore at times."
"Sometimes," Sarah agreed, "but neither of us wants to ruin our friendship by becoming romantically involved."
"Who do you think is more dominant in your relationship?" Nicole asked.
"I'd say that it's fairly equal," Sarah replied. "I have quite a strong personality anyway and Ben is very laidback and easygoing so I think we complement each other nicely."
"Are you ever even the tiniest bit jealous when he has a new girlfriend and he talks about how wonderful and amazing she is?" Nicole asked.
"I don't get jealous anymore but I do miss my friend, especially at the start of a new relationship when he's spending all his time with his girlfriend. I love Ben. He's my best friend, nothing more, nothing less."
"Ditto," Ben arrived back with the drinks, just in time to catch the end of their conversation.
"Why can't men and women just be friends? I don't think that marriage is as wonderful and fulfilling as everyone pretends," Sarah said.
"I have a female friend who says that she regrets ever getting married, but she's too bogged down in domestic and family life to get out now."
"That’s awful!" Nicole exclaimed. "I'd hate to be in a loveless marriage."
"Don't get me wrong," Sarah explained. "She loves her husband and her children but she feels like she's lost a big part of herself."
Ben groaned. "I’ve had enough of the deep and meaningful discussions for one night. It's time for us to party!"
Chapter 18
"When were you planning on telling me?" Evette stormed into the living room where Nicole had passed out on the couch.
Nicole hadn't gotten home until the early hours of the morning and too much partying and drinking had taken their toll on her. It had taken her ages to remember the code for the apartment gates and another eternity to figure out how to work the elevator. Her last memory was Sarah insisting that she drink a pint of ice-water and take two aspirin before waving her off in a taxi.
"What's your problem?" Nicole forced her eyes open and winced as the bright light almost blinded her.
Evette glared at her. "When were you planning on telling me about you and Paul?"
Nicole sat bolt upright and immediately regretted getting up that quickly. The room started to spin and she felt an overwhelming bout of nausea. "Would you get me some water please?" she asked, witho
ut answering her sister's question. How the hell has Evette found out about Paul?
She'd known that there'd be fireworks when she eventually decided to tell her sister, but did they have to have the fireworks now, when her head was pounding like a jack-hammer? Nicole groaned and tried to gather her wits about her for the inevitable argument that was ahead of her. Evette stormed into the kitchen, poured a glass of water from the tap and slammed it down on the table in front of Nicole.
"Well?" Evette demanded, with her hand on her hip. She looked absolutely livid.
"Well, what?" Nicole tried to stall for time. Her brain was finding it difficult to function under the hazy hangover headache that was brewing behind her eyes. She sipped her water slowly, careful to avoid her sister's gaze.
"When were you planning on telling me about you and Paul?" Evette repeated, enunciating each syllable as if she was talking to an idiot.
"How did you find out?" Nicole asked.
"Please don't answer a question with a question," Evette said in her most condescending tone. "Does it matter how I found out?"
"Now who's answering a question with a question?" Nicole muttered under her breath.
"You left your mobile phone at home and it kept bleeping, so I decided to check your messages in case it was something urgent and then I saw the texts from Paul."
"Oh," was all Nicole could manage.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on between you two?" Evette persisted.
Nicole groaned and took a deep breath. She decided to tell her sister the whole truth as she didn't have the will or the brain power at that moment to bother lying to her.
"Paul and I are going to try to work through our problems."
Evette's mouth fell open in shock. She turned very pale and then bright beetroot red. "You're going to work through your problems?" Evette repeated incredulously. "How can you work through your problems when the only problem is him?"
"We're going to see a relationship counsellor."
"I don't believe you," was all Evette could manage to say through gritted teeth.
"It's true." Nicole was starting to get worried as her sister looked like she was about to burst a blood vessel with temper.
"How could you?" Evette hissed in disgust.
"This is my business, not yours."
Nicole didn't appreciate her sister's tone and could feel her own temper beginning to rise, in spite of her hangover. She really wasn't in the mood for a blazing row.
"It's not my business?!" Evette spat. "How dare you? I've sat around here for weeks listening to you crying and moaning about all the problems you had with that twat. I helped you pull yourself to together again. I introduced you to my friends and welcomed you into my life. I gave you a place to stay, a home, when you had nowhere else to go and you have the audacity to say that it is none of my business! You don't even have the decency to tell me that you're getting back together with him. What were you going to do, sneak around behind my back? I knew there was something going on. I noticed a change in you and I guessed that you didn't have a business meeting last week. You must think I'm stupid and you clearly don't have any respect for me whatsoever."
"Of course I have respect for you," Nicole interrupted. "I'll never be able to thank you enough for everything you've done for me since the wedding. I honestly don't know how I would have survived without you but I want to give Paul another chance, Evette. I still love him. Please try to understand."
"How can you do this to yourself, Nicole?" Evette asked in a slightly calmer tone. "He doesn't deserve you. How will you ever forgive him or trust him again after what he's done?"
"I don't know Ev, but I do know that I want to try to work it out with him. Our relationship will be different this time, I've already promised myself that much. I'm done running around after him and trying to please him. He'll have to earn my trust and forgiveness all over again."
"What made you change your mind so suddenly? It was only a few short weeks ago that you were saying you didn't understand what you ever saw in him and that there was no you way you could even consider giving him another chance."
"I was very angry and emotionally raw then, Ev. I've calmed down a lot over the past few weeks and Dad told me that Paul is genuinely very sorry."
"What the hell does Dad have to do with any of this?"
"I had a long conversation with him at my birthday party and he encouraged me to give Paul another chance."
Evette rolled her eyes. "I cannot believe that Dad, of all people, thinks this is a good idea."
"Doesn't everyone deserve a second chance?"
"No!" Evette said vehemently. "Paul doesn't deserve a second chance and he certainly doesn't deserve you. Don't do it, Nicole. Your life with him will be soul-destroying if you take him back. You'll always have these doubts and fears niggling away at you."
"I'm stronger than you think, Ev. If he doesn't treat me properly this time then I'll end it between us for good."
"You're not remotely strong, Nicole, in fact you're extremely weak. Paul will soon have you wrapped around his little finger which is exactly where he always wanted you and you'll be so busy playing the perfect girlfriend that you probably won't even realise."
"Don't speak to me like that! This is my decision, not yours or anyone else's. I'm sorry if I've disappointed you but this is my life and I'll live it whatever way I choose."
"Good for you," Evette sneered. "Do me a favour, don't come crying to me to help you pick up the pieces when it all blows up in your face." She stormed out of the room.
Nicole stared blankly after her sister, speechless at Evette's anger towards her. Her head was throbbing and her mouth was dry. She struggled off the couch and padded towards the kitchen where she downed some more painkillers with orange juice and contemplated making some toast but it felt like too much effort, so she took her orange juice and curled up on the couch again.
She replayed Evette's angry diatribe over and over in her addled brain. There was a lot of truth in everything that her sister had said. She realised she was taking a big risk with her heart by letting Paul back into her life, but she didn't want to wake up in twenty years’ time and wonder what might have happened between them if only she'd given him another chance.
She'd debated back and forth with herself as to what she should do. She'd made a detailed list of pros and cons about taking him back and technically the cons outweighed the pros. The old Nicole always followed her head but this time she knew she had to follow her heart.
Evette suddenly reappeared in front of her, startling her out of her thoughts. "I'm going out," she snapped.
"Going anywhere nice?" Nicole asked, hoping to change the subject.
"None of your business," Evette retorted. "Oh and just so it's clear I don't want to hear another word about you and Paul. If it works out or it doesn't work out is entirely your business. I'm sick and tired of being your shoulder to cry on. You were too busy with your own life to ever be bothered much with me. Guess what, Nicole, I've got a life too and I'm bored of babysitting you. Good luck with Paul, you'll need it!"
She slammed the front door loudly behind her. The noise reverberated around Nicole's aching head and she groaned in pain. She didn't have the energy to fight back or give her sister a piece of her mind.
A big part of her realised that Evette was justified in her reaction. She should have told her about Paul sooner but she'd wanted to make her decision on her own without anyone else's influences.
"Oh well," she sighed. "She'll just have to get over it."
Nicole spent the rest of the day watching television and drifting in and out of a restless sleep. She kept herself dosed up on painkillers which helped to alleviate her headache and she switched off her phone as she really wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone else.
A strong smell of chicken curry woke her from the pleasant doze to which she'd finally succumbed. She sat up on the couch and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
Evette was pottering
about in the kitchen so Nicole thought it best to remain in the relative safety of the living room. She considered sneaking off and hiding in the bathroom; a long soak in a bubble bath would be a welcome break from another of her sister's outbursts.
Maybe she should go to bed after her bath. She could do with an early night and hopefully Evette would have calmed down by the morning.
"Peace offering?" Evette held out a cup of tea to her sister. Nicole was pleasantly surprised by the sudden change in her sister's demeanour.
"Thanks." She wrapped her hands gratefully around the warm cup.
"I'm sorry about earlier, Nic. I was out of line to speak to you the way I did but I was shocked to discover that you'd been in contact with Paul and that you hadn't told me. I know it sounds daft but I felt betrayed by you."
"Oh, Ev, I'm sorry too," Nicole said earnestly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Paul sooner. I feel awful that you found out about us the way that you did. I wanted to tell you, honestly, but I needed to get everything clear in my own head first. Then I just couldn't find the right words or time to tell you. I've desperately wanted to tell you for days, but the words wouldn't come out."
"I understand, Nic. I'm sorry I shouted and ranted at you. No wonder you didn't want to tell me. You didn't deserve me attacking you and of course it's your prerogative to try again with Paul. It's just that I don't want you to get hurt. I'd hate to see you in the same state as you were in only a few short months ago. I think you've been through more than enough heartache for one lifetime. Anyway, you know how I feel about the situation, but if that's what you really want to do then I'll do my best to support you in any way that I can."
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