“Luke, it was no big deal. He wasn’t there,” I decided to go back to breezy.
I was standing a few feet in front of him, between him and the garbage can.
He leaned in but kept his seat. I leaned back. I did this mainly because his intensity was kind of scaring me.
“You wanna call Zano right now? Ask him, shoe’s on the other foot, he fucked you three times, you fell asleep with his cock inside you, how he would feel about you takin’ a nap in my bed?”
It was then I saw his point.
Then again, if it was Ren fucking me, he would have been fucking me. Not some fill in until he sorted out his feelings for another woman.
On that thought, I lost interest in my Milano and threw it back in the bag. I put the bag on the counter and sifted my fingers through my hair, leaving my hands on top of my head. Then my eyes moved back to Luke.
He was holding his body perfectly still and I got the impression he was doing that so he wouldn’t strangle me.
Time to defuse the situation. I controlled the Barlow Bitch Pull and took a deep breath.
“Luke,” I said softly. “Give me a break. It’s not like, in my life, I’ve ever been in this situation. I’ve no fucking idea what I’m doing.”
“What you do is, you let me sort it out for you. That’s why you came to the fuckin’ office in the first goddamn place,” he snapped, no less angry for my soft voice.
I dropped my hands and looked at him direct in the eyes. “That’s not the situation I’m talking about,” I said, voice still soft.
“Give me a clue.”
Nope, no less angry. I looked away, closed my eyes tight and licked my lips.
Could I do this? No, I couldn’t do it. Still, I did it so I guess I could do it.
I looked back at him and on another deep breath, I admitted, “You know, Luke. You know that most of the time I couldn’t get a guy to look at me. Much less a hot guy. Now I have four. Four, all after I’d sworn off men. I don’t know what to do.” My voice went ultra quiet, barely even a whisper, even so there was an accusation to it. “You know. You, of all people, know.”
That’s when his body unstuck. Before I knew what he was about, he leaned forward, his arm snagging me around my waist, and he pulled me around the garbage bin and to him, between his legs, our torsos tight together. His other arm closed around my upper back, pinning me against him.
“I’ll tell you what to do. You come to me when you gotta sort shit out. I’ll take care of you. You come to me when you need somethin’. I’ll take care of it. I’ll also tell you what not to do. You don’t have dinner with another man. You don’t sleep in his bed, I don’t care that he’s not in it with you. You don’t leave me standin’ on the sidewalk while you take off with a guy who, days earlier, kidnapped you and threatened to blow your fuckin’ head off. You don’t –”
“Okay I get it,” I broke in quietly.
His arms tightened and he gave me a mini-shake. “You better get it, Ava. I’m not goin’ through the last six hours again.”
I looked at the piles of stuff on the bar. I had left him several, now there was only one. I had come home and he was sitting, sorting through it and eating a cookie.
I looked back at him, confused. “Organizing your paperwork?” I asked.
He stared at me a second as if three identical noses had just popped out on my face then his head dropped back. I could almost hear him asking for patience from the divine. His chin came back down so he could look at me.
“I mean worryin’ where the fuck you were and if you were okay considerin’ the last look I had of you, you had tears in your eyes.”
Oh. That.
“I’m over that,” I lied, so not over it and so never going to tell him what I wasn’t over. Not in a million years. “It was a girl thing,” I lied again for good measure. In my experience, men hated to talk about “girl things”. I was hoping even the brutally honest ones would shy way the hell away from any discussion of a “girl thing”.
He stared at me and I got the impression he totally knew I was lying.
Finally, and thankfully, he decided to let it go. “Zano fed you?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I answered.
“Good. Now I can fuck you.”
My knees did a little wobble. “We didn’t have dessert,” I stalled.
His head (and, I must remind you, his fantastic mouth) started coming toward mine.
“Glad he left that to me,” he said before he kissed me.
* * * * *
It wasn’t like last night where it was all go, go, go or shocking but world-tilting surprise or all about Luke giving then taking.
This time Luke went slow and we took turns. He let me touch him, taste him, stroke him, take him in my mouth and I liked it, a lot. He had an unbelievable body and, let me tell you, it was fun as hell to explore.
When he was through letting me, he flipped me over, spread my legs and settled between them. I felt one of his knees come up for better leverage and I was certain he was going to slam into me again. I was ready for it, I wanted it and I stared at him in a fog, my body burning, nearly begging for it.
He didn’t slam into me. Instead, I felt him right there, ready to come inside when his hands came up to either side of my face. Slowly, centimeter by centimeter, he slid inside me watching my face the whole time. My lips parted and I held my breath as he slowly filled me until he was buried deep.
I waited for him to move.
He didn’t. He just kept watching me.
“Luke,” I whispered, pressing my hips into him.
“Be still, Ava,” he said then his mouth came to mine and he asked, “Do you feel that?”
Yeah, I felt it. It felt great.
“Yeah,” I told him.
I felt him smile against my mouth but he said, “You don’t feel it.”
“I feel it.”
“Then you don’t get it.”
I wanted to get it but he wasn’t moving.
I licked my lips and since my lips were close to his lips, I licked his lips too.
His eyes went molten and he moved, slowly at first then faster then harder until we both came, breathing heavy in each other’s mouths. It was the first time in my life that I climaxed with a partner at the same time. If I thought the other sex was mind-blowing, I was wrong. Reaching orgasm with Luke was mind-blowing, mind-altering and world-tilting all at the same time.
I was so screwed.
After, his mouth at the skin behind my ear, he murmured, “You ever run away from me with tears in your eyes again, Ava, I’ll hunt you down. Do you understand?”
I didn’t move. This wasn’t sweet, after-sex talk. His voice was low and husky but he was being perfectly serious.
“Do you understand?” he pushed.
I decided it was best to nod. I was unable to process this after a big time orgasm when Luke was still on top of me, when Luke was, at that moment, my whole world.
Mouth still at my ear, he said in The Voice, “I’m bein’ patient, babe, but pretty soon you’re gonna have to let me in.”
No way in hell. He was already in as far as he was going to get, literally and figuratively.
“Don’t call me babe,” I said to take the post-sex conversation away from me letting him in.
I meant it this time in a way I didn’t mean it before. I didn’t want him to call me “babe” and Jules “babe”. It made it less special. In fact, it made it not special at all.
His head came up and he looked down at me. His eyes searched my face and then he dropped to his side, taking me with him.
When we were face-to-face and he had my leg wrapped around his hip, he asked, “What’s this now?”
“Nothing, just don’t call me babe. I don’t like it,” I lied. I had really loved it before, if I was honest with myself. Now, I hated it.
His fingers sifted through the hair at the side of my head and he kept his hand at the back and twisted my hair in his fist.
“Y
ou mean it,” he said.
“Yeah,” I told him.
“I’m not even close, am I?” he asked, what I thought bizarrely.
“Close to what?”
“To gettin’ through to you.”
Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Stop right there.
Or, wait. Maybe, not.
“No, Luke. You’re not. I tried to tell you but you won’t listen to me,” I pressed closer to him and lied through my goddamn teeth. “You’re never going to get close. Trust me, it’s not gonna happen.”
“It’ll happen.”
“It won’t.”
“Yeah, it will.” He sounded sure of himself.
Holy cramoly!
Why me? What did I do?
I dipped my chin and tried to pull away but his arms got tight. I struggled a bit just in case he wasn’t in the mood to overpower me. I found, as ever, he was very much in the mood to overpower me.
Tom Petty (obviously Luke had Greatest Hits on random) started singing “Learning to Fly”. I gave up the struggle and listened to Tom.
After a few minutes, I said to Luke’s throat, “You want some ice cream?” I tilted my head back to look at him.
He tipped his chin down to look at me and said, “Yeah.”
He let me go and put on his sweatpants. I put on my underwear and his zip up sweatshirt.
We ate ice cream out of the tub, two spoons, Luke holding the tub, me dipping in while we sat on his kitchen counter.
And I realized on the third spoonful of peanut butter cup ice cream that I was sitting on the counter top in my pretend happy place.
And I was going to stay there.
For now.
Chapter Seventeen
Missed You
Seeing as I had a three-hour nap that afternoon, Luke fell asleep before I did.
I spent some time trying to fall asleep, but I couldn’t. So, carefully, I slid out from under his arm (we were spooning, his face in my hair, his arm around my waist) and I got up.
The Triumph tee was in the laundry so I went to the dresser where he took me to get it that first night, opened the drawer, grabbed whatever was on top and put it on. I slid on my panties then my glasses then shrugged on the sweatshirt and zipped it up.
I went to the floor to almost ceiling window, sat down on the floor beside it, knees to my chest, the side of my shoulder to the window. I pulled his tee and sweatshirt over my knees and hugged them, staring at his view.
Luke was on the fourth of five floors in a LoDo loft. I couldn’t see the mountains but I could see LoDo, its lights and brick buildings and there were still some people milling about on the streets though it was way late.
I rested my temple against the cold window and lost myself in thought.
I wondered what Marilyn and Sofia would think if they knew I was with Luke (they were never going to know, I would never hear the end of it when it was over). I wondered for the gazillionth time where my Dad might be. I wondered how the Rockies were doing in spring training.
I heard a movement and my head jerked away from the window as Luke settled behind me wearing his sweatpants. It was just plain old weird how a big guy like him could be so quiet.
Without a word, he settled with his legs around me, wrapped his arms around my chest, pressed his front against my back and rested his chin on my shoulder.
I felt a shiver slide through me, not from cold. “Did I wake you?” I asked in a whisper, like he was still sleeping.
“Yeah,” he told me.
“Sorry.”
His arms got tighter.
“You can go back to sleep,” I said.
“Prefer you were with me, babe.”
I closed my eyes and wondered if he would also prefer to be with Jules, sitting on the floor in the dark by his window. I figured he would.
I mentally pushed away those thoughts and said, “I can’t sleep. The nap.”
“I’ll wait.”
I was afraid he would say that.
We sat there, me looking out the window; I didn’t know what he was doing.
After awhile, I slid into my pretend happy place. Sitting on the floor in the dark with Luke, his arms around me, I slid in so deep, I whispered, “I wonder where my Dad is.”
His arms got tighter and his head shifted, his chin moving my hair out of the way so he could bury his face in my neck.
Mouth at my ear, he said, “You don’t have to wonder.”
My body went still. “Why not?”
“You want, I’ll find him for you.”
Oh… my… God.
“Really?” I whispered so low it was barely audible.
“Yeah.”
Then it hit me. “What would I owe you for that?”
He kissed my neck and his chin went back to my shoulder. “I would do that for free.”
I tried to put the brakes on it, tried to call “whoa” but I couldn’t. My body relaxed into his. His chin came up as he took my weight and the back of my head went to rest on his shoulder.
After awhile I said, “I don’t want you to find him for me. I don’t need another man fucking up my life.”
“Your call,” he replied softly.
I didn’t say any more. We sat there for a good, long while. Then he moved, pulling away, standing up. I looked at him as he leaned down, putting an arm around my waist, one at the back of my knees. He lifted me up and carried me to bed.
Once there he set me in it and followed me down, stretching out beside me. He took off my glasses and put them on the nightstand. Then he unzipped the sweatshirt and I pulled it off, throwing it on the floor by the bed. Then he lifted the tee over my head and threw it aside. Luke, I was learning, liked sleeping naked. He would tolerate panties but that was about it. Seeing as I liked the feel of his skin against mine I didn’t mind. He pulled me over his body, settled me on his other side and yanked the covers over us. He turned to me, hooking his hand behind my knee to wrap it around his hip.
“You could have put me in bed on this side,” I told him.
“That’s not as fun.”
I smiled in the dark. “You’re nuts,” I said. Finally feeling sleepy, I cuddled closer.
His arm closed around my waist and he pulled me deep into him but he didn’t respond.
When I was inches away from dreamland, I heard him say, “Ava.”
I was too close to sleep to respond, I just pressed closer.
And I was sure I fell asleep because, I swear, the next thing he said was, “Missed you.”
And I knew that had to be a dream.
* * * * *
I was sitting at my desk at the loft trying to get some work done. Sissy was lying on Luke’s couch preparing to see Stella and The Blue Moon Gypsies by listening to the Black Rebel Motorcycle Club singing “Ain’t No Easy Way” one of Stella and her band’s coolest covers. The crowd always went wild when Stella sang that but her signature song was “Ghostriders in the Sky”. She ended every gig with “Ghostriders” and people always went nuts.
It was early afternoon and I was beginning to feel like a Rock Chick Fraud. Nothing bad had happened to me in a while outside of finding out Luke was in love with Jules (something that I didn’t even tell Sissy about because I knew she would give me Good Ava-esque advice) but no getting beat up, kidnapped, shot at or cuffed to a sink.
The morning had been relatively normal. That was, if you didn’t count Luke waking up in an energetic mood. Luke’s energetic mood translated itself into us having sex, during which he gave me the business in three different positions. One I’d done before, one I’d heard of but never done and one I didn’t even know was possible.
If you asked me which was my favorite, I couldn’t tell you. I liked them all. A lot.
He’d left me face down and drained in bed while he showered. I fell into a doze but eventually felt the sheet slide down to my hips then Luke’s mouth at the small of my back sliding up my spine to my neck.
“Gotta get to
work, babe,” he said there.
“Mm,” I mumbled.
I felt him smile against my neck before his hands rolled me and he lifted me up until I was sitting and my chest was pressed against his. His hand went into my hair and twisted.
Rock Chick Revenge Page 30
