by Beth Garrod
“Cool,” Blue Hair drawled. Sorry what?! Marge thought we were cool?! What even is my life right now?! I took a sip of water to distract my mouth muscles from the massive grin they were trying to create on my face. Marge never had to find out exactly what our job was. She walked over nearer to us and leant right on the fence, checking out where we were camping. Right now, I wished I’d listened to Tegan’s advice that the best way of making our tent easier to find wasn’t to make a flag for the top of it using a twig and a pair of enormous pants I’d bought to make her laugh. They were flapping in the breeze. “Our mate’s helping out with some filming. Is that what you guys are doing?”
I stared at Tegan, channelling a “whatever you do, DO NOT SAY LITTER PICKING” beam right into her brain.
“Litter picking,” she replied without missing a beat. Couldn’t she have even tried to lie?!
Marge snorted. “Cool.” This time she said it more like “kewl”, like it really wasn’t at all. “Whatever floats your boat.”
I wanted to explain my boat wasn’t floating at all, but it was our only way of getting a ticket, but they didn’t seem like they wanted to know the details. Britney T walked over to Rach and slid an arm over her shoulder. She had gold and matt-black nail varnish. It was all too much. I swear I heard Rach whimper.
“Well, you’re OK here with us.” She smiled at Tegan and me. “You can consider your mate…” She looked at Rach. “What was your name again?” But Rach had lost the ability to speak, so Tegan had to answer. “Sure, Rach, yeah. Well, you can consider Rach an honorary member of the Party HQ.”
OMG. Despite bad socks, not being able to sit on a chair, and having the dweebiest jobs going, we were officially befriending the MGC at a festival. Yes, it sucked having Rach in a different field, but this more than made up for it. If things went well, we could even ask them to help out on Sunday?!
So when a new message came through from Adam I felt like all the pieces for a perfect weekend had come together – but better than I could have ever imagined.
But that feeling only lasted a couple of seconds. Because as I read his message, a horror crept over me.
How could one bit of news switch everything from so good, to so unbelievably complicated?
CHAPTER
SIXTEEN
What could I tell him?
What could I tell the others?
What could I tell myself?!!
I had NO idea what to do. I looked back at my screen with a rising feeling of nausea.
AARD: Do you want the good news or the more good news? Yyy
His use of yyy as our secret xxx didn’t even cheer me up.
AARD: Soz too slow. I’m going to be here earlier than I thought!
Which should have been great news. If it hadn’t followed it with this.
AARD: And they’ve had a band get stuck in America so have moved us to a new day!
AARD: 8 P.M…. On Sunday!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE’RE HEADLINING THE FINAL NIGHT!!!!
I’d reread it twenty times already.
Adam was playing at the same time as The Session.
Which meant I had a choice.
See him.
Or go to the protest.
I’d said I wouldn’t miss his gig for the world.
But now I might have to.
Otherwise I’d let my friends down. And everyone who had been counting on us to Stop The Session.
EURGH.
Why hadn’t I just told Adam what we were planning to do?
“OK, lads.” Britney T was scrunching her hair up. “So no one look” – aka, the one thing that most makes you want to look – “but if you, like us, were hoping to have THE fittest guy in the world camp next to you, it looks like our non-religious prayers might have been answered.” She put her hands in the air. “HALLELUJAH HOTTIE.”
I took back my earlier thought – that might actually be the number one thing that most makes you want to look.
Marge and Choker Girl (who we’d now discovered was actually called Lola, aka Lols – she was always making jokes, so it kind of suited her) peered in the direction Britney T was staring. Right behind us.
“Whoa.” Lols fanned her face with both hands. “He is FINE. Dibs on being UT’s sleeping bag bud.” She raised one eyebrow. “And when I say sleeping bag bud, I mean ‘no sleeping will happen here’ bud…” She bit her lip. “And when I say bud, I mean…”
“All right, LOLS?! We get it.” Marge laughed and looked at us apologetically. “UT is Lols’ thing for Ultimate Target. Whoever she has in her sights at any given moment.”
Rach laughed in a way that sounded forced, not like her at all. “Me likey.”
I’d never heard those words come out of her mouth before. She was full-on friend-flirting with them. Not that I was doing much better; I’d just agreed to Britney T trialling her new home-made glitter lipstick on me, and currently looked like a cross between a nursery art project and a “You Wouldn’t Believe What Happened When My Boyfriend Did My Make-Up!” YouTube vid. Tegan was still regarding me with concern. “Remember the rule, right?” Marge was being stern with Lols. “Wherever we sleep, it’s gals breakfast every morn?” She looked at me. “The number one rule for one-night stands. Don’t you think, Bella?”
Errrr – could she not tell I’d never even had a one-night sit, let alone a one-night stand? But I didn’t want them to know how out of my depth I was, so I tried to laugh with hopefully the right amount of enthusiasm to convey “hahaha, I totally get what you mean” and “hahaha, I’m laughing ’cos this topic is so not a big deal to me” and also “hahahaha, I’m pretending that question was rhetorical so I don’t have to commit to actually replying”. But my laugh didn’t hide Tegan shifting quietly on her stool, a reminder that there was someone who knew what I was really thinking. And that we really needed to get going. We had bands to see and the protest to organize.
To stop MGC waiting for an answer, I shoved a marshmallow in my mouth and turned to see who this “Ultimate Target” was. But the hottie was hidden.
Worried she was losing him, Lols wolf-whistled so loud I swear dogs for five miles stopped in their tracks.
“You all right there?” she shouted in his direction, pushing her body up against the fence. “Want a hand?” The way she stressed the word “hand” made me think she didn’t mean in the tent-erecting sense.
I could hear him walking over. Well this was awkward. I was just going to have to chew and hope it was over soon.
He cleared his throat. Was he going to be an equally as big a flirt back?
But what he said was a million times worse than anything I could have imagined.
“Yes, actually. I’m looking for my girlfriend. Don’t suppose you’ve seen her?”
Oh, my massive tent erection.
“Apparently she’s got some comedy pants on her tent.”
Ultimate Target was Adam.
CHAPTER
SEVENTEEN
I did the only thing you can do when trying to appear calm and in control in front of the boy you are in love with/girls you are trying to impress – laughed manically through the awkward silence.
“You found us then?” Tegan stood up and gave Adam a hug.
LIFESAVER.
See, brain? See, arms? This is how normal people do things.
“Total thanks to you.” Undeterred by me being massively deterred, Adam bent to give me a kiss. He definitely mini-flinched at my glitter-smeared face. And then stuck to me slightly as he pulled away.
“Errr, hi.” I stood up. Time to engage Super-Cool-Festival-Girlfriend-Mode. “We thought it didn’t smell so bad of the toilets here.” Brain: wipe ‘appearing normal’ off my ‘achievable list’. “They reek.”
Marge snorted. “And Bella is available for weddings, parties and funerals…” Everyone laughed. Maybe too hard.
Rach walked over to the fence and threw Adam an air hug.
“TELL ALL. How did you manage to get in there?” She nodded at our side of the
barrier. “I tried everything – this was the closest I could get.” She lowered her voice. “I even brought in major contraband bribes … Kit Kats my dad got from Japan that taste of heaven. Well, cherry blossom and heaven, but mainly heaven.”
Adam laughed. He loved Rach almost as much as we did. “Ahhh, that’s your problem right there. The security guards were more interested in pasties – our Greggs stash opened up the keys to the festival.”
“NOOO.” She looked horrified. Adam looked even more horrified that she’d believed his terrible attempt at a joke.
“Sorry, no?! Joke?! We got these.” He pushed down the sleeve of his hoodie to show off his deeply alluring forearms. Wow. I knew they were good, but even I was quietly proud they could work their magic on security guards.
“So green is for artists then?” Rach poked her fingers through and pulled at his wristband. Wristband. Not great forearms. That’s what he was showing us. That made more sense.
“Bella – you didn’t tell us your boyfriend was in a band?” Lols was standing up with her arms crossed. I shrugged nonchalantly and threw Adam my best “yup, I’m just an independent woman who is supportive and proud of what you’ve achieved but not at all defined by it” look. But Lols hadn’t finished. “Oh no – my mistake, that’s ALL you’ve talked about.”
I nostril-flared so hard at least ten bits of glitter mainlined into my brain.
“I’m sure it’s not,” Adam said softly, defending my honour. “But please, please all come along, we’re worried it’s going to be a crowd of three situation…” Oh no oh no oh no. I still hadn’t talked to Adam about the protest. Or told the others about the timing clash.
I had to steer the convo away from this until I’d figured out what to do.
“MATE!” a voice shouted up from behind our tent. Was it the God of Saving Me from Terrible Situations?
“Mate?” It shouted again, a bit more annoyed.
It was Marcus, Adam’s best mate/lead singer of The Wet Donald Project/only other human who could watch the same vid of a boy snorting a crème caramel out of his nose and still be laughing on the fifteenth repeat. “Could kind of do with a hand here.”
Adam’s face scrunched as he mouthed, “Oops”. “Coming!”
REJOICE. I’d dodged dealing with this mega-problem until our next convo.
Lols waved. “Come back and hang when you’re done. Be nice to meet your bud.” She winked at Adam. Marge elbowed her for being so obvious.
“What?!” Lols was all indignant. “He might need some company in that tent? They can be lonely places.”
She was laughing. But I was the exact opposite of finding this funny.
If Adam was camping in the same field as us, and wasn’t sharing his tent with Marcus, did that mean … he might suggest sharing with me?
Intense. Panic.
This was not the kind of conversation I could be catapulted into, unless I’d practised it at least fifty times with Tegan.
Luckily Adam was unflustered. “Don’t you worry. It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve woken up to discover Marcus has become Big Spoon… I’m kind of prepared.”
Oh, thank sweet cheeses. He was sharing with Marcus.
“Sorry, what?” Lols looked confused. “Aren’t you staying with your girlfriend?” I spluttered so hard I had to pretend I’d swallowed some more glitter. Did she actually say that out loud?! She hardly knew us? Why would she be assuming anything? I couldn’t look at Adam. “Meaning your mate is hypothetically all alone and maybe hypothetically looking for company.”
I stared at my feet (one still only in a sock) and willed a sinkhole to open up.
“Lols, you don’t even know who this dude is.” Marge sounded like she’d been through this many times before. “Or if he’s single. Or into girls. Or, I dunno … a murderer?”
Tegan snorted. “Reassurance: murderers don’t tend to be in our inner circle.”
“Or my best mates?” Adam said, sounding more than a little done with the conversation.
“Well, we think. Let’s see how many of us are alive tomorrow.” Britney T was teasing, but only her and Rach laughed. I was too busy burning up from head to toe that Adam and I had never even spoken about us staying in the same tent. And now it was a public topic of conversation, when we hadn’t even managed a private one.
“It’s not like it’s possible to sleep in a tent anyway.” Was Adam trying to ease the tension, or was I being paranoid? “It feels like someone’s permanently four centimetres from stamping on your head.”
But Lols was quick to steer the conversation back to her own agenda.
“The only thing that’s meant to make sleeping in tents difficult is having something more fun to do in them.” She winked at me. “But you guys know what I mean.”
We both just stared at her.
Was she enjoying this torture?
WHY WAS SHE DOING THIS?!
“Well, I’ll leave you guys to, er, chat.” Adam began to walk off, trying to make a sharp exit.
Lols tossed her hair back. “Good luck making that love palace?! Bella should be along shortly.”
Adam looked mortified. It wasn’t me being paranoid. This was totally embarrassing. I had to do something.
“Just to be clear…” Oh no, my mouth had started speaking with no help from my brain. “As Adam said, well, sort of said, we are NOT planning on sleeping” – argh, not that word – “AS IN STAYING, together?!”
The way everyone was staring at me, Adam included, suggested that maybe I didn’t need to have semi-shouted this across the campsite. This was the most in-depth convo my boyfriend and I had ever had about, er, what happened beyond snogging, and we were having it in a field, with a group of girls who didn’t seem like they’d even inwardly blush at words like “moist” and “shaft”.
OH GOD I JUST BLUSHED THINKING ABOUT BLUSHING AT THEM.
This would be the world’s most awkward silence, if there wasn’t the loud sound of Britney T trying (and failing) not to snigger.
“See ya!” Adam shouted, but he was already scurrying away. It was technically a flee.
Well, that had gone well.
Tegan stood up, looking straight at Lols. “I’ve never seen him leave anywhere so quickly.”
So she’d picked up on his uncomfortableness too. It really had been that bad.
“No great loss,” Lols said coldly. “He wasn’t exactly a barrel of laughs.”
“Would you be if someone was sleazing all over your mate?”
Was Teeg posing a genuine question, or politely telling Lols she’d gone too far?
Lols’ body language changed, her shoulders opening up like she was ready for a fight.
“Not my fault if he can’t handle being around a strong woman.”
This was escalating quickly.
“And what exactly are you trying to imply about us then?”
In fairness, Tegan was one of the strongest women I knew. Just a shame for her I sometimes had the mental and physical endurance of a wafer.
“I don’t need to imply anything, Rubbish Girl.”
I hoped Lols meant in the litter sense.
How was this all going so wrong?
I stood up, keen to end it as soon as possible.
“C’mon Tegan, Rach. We need to head off. All that stuff to do.” It sounded like a lie even though it was true.
This time it was Britney T who couldn’t leave it. “Stuff? Like walk away from arguments you started but can’t finish?”
I looked at Rach, trying to work out if I’d heard right, but she was also panicking at how wrong this was suddenly going.
“It’s not a lie.” She was almost stuttering with nerves. “We’ve got this protest we need to get going. Against The Session?”
I knew what the hope in her voice meant. That by telling them about the protest we might score back some points. Calm them down.
They shot each other looks as if struck by the same realization.
Marge smiled
. Softened. And she nodded at the other two, like suddenly it was OK to like us again. Phew.
“So that’s where we really know you from – you’re the Stop The Session girls?”
I nodded, relieved to have stumbled on some middle ground. “Yup. And we’ve got a protest we need to sort for Sunday. So when I said stuff, I really meant it.”
Marge looked at me as if trying to work out what she thought of me. “Interesting.” She pulled her phone out. “Well, look. Sorry about what just happened. Just there’s nothing that winds us up more than when girls don’t support girls, y’know. Had some bad experiences. We didn’t realize you were the ones out there fighting the fight.”
“Sure are,” Tegan said, her voice still clipped. Her bag was up on her shoulder – she was ready to go.
“Look, Rach,” Marge held out her phone. “Put your number in here, then I’ll message you so you’ve got mine.” Rach immediately punched it in. “If you need anything let us know. And remember, we’re only ever a tent away.”
Rach was smiling.
But something didn’t feel right.
Marge’s words were friendly. So why did they sound like a threat?
“Well, they were something,” said Tegan as we walked down to the main festival site.
“They weren’t that bad…” They’d lent Rach some pineapple-shaped sunglasses on her way out. In return, Rach had given them the benefit of the doubt. “Think we just got off on the wrong foot.”
Tegan snorted.
I kept quiet. I agreed with Teeg, because it had really felt like Lols was enjoying every second of winding Adam and me up, but knew Rach was trying to see the positive side of them. Maybe she still believed they were as cool as we’d always thought, or perhaps it was because they’d declared her an honorary member of Party HQ. Either way, now we were heading away from them, it didn’t feel like the right time to push it. Especially as I hadn’t been able to find Adam, and all my messages saying that I really needed to speak to him had gone unanswered. I had to make sure stuff was OK after earlier. Which was going to be even harder as I still had my big decision to make.
His gig. Or the protest.
