“Why did you leave me all alone, Murland? We used to be best friends, but once you became a champion, you acted like I never existed.”
“I’m sorry…” Murland whimpered.
Behind Gram, Hinckley came into view. His body was bloody and ravished, clothes burnt and skin blackened by battle spells.
“You are a fool, as Kazimir always said. You had a chance to kill Zuul, but you failed. Once again, you failed.”
“Headmaster, please, help me,” Murland begged.
“Help you? A true champion needs no help.” Hinckley’s body suddenly fell apart and turned into a thousand spiders that quickly spread through the room.
Caressa stood before Murland now, and she ignored his pleas for help as she stepped forward and kissed him. Murland returned the kiss, panting with fear and exhilaration. “Thank the gods—” he said, opening his eyes, but his words caught in his throat as he stared into the black, loveless eyes of a giant insect. Murland screamed, and the bug thrust a large spiked tongue down his throat and began sucking out his guts…
***
Captain Ripps grinned as he watched the companions thrash and scream against their chains, each living out a nightmarish hallucination, quite unaware of their surroundings.
“You have outdone yourself, Dyr. But do not let them die.”
“Oh, they will not die,” said the dark wizard. “Though they will wish that they had.”
“What are you showing him?” said Ripps, pointing at Sir Eldrick.
“He is locked in a particularly dark memory, one where he strangled his own father to death. But in this illusion, he is strangling his ice elf daughter instead, and he cannot stop himself.”
“Is that a real memory you are working with?”
Dyr nodded. “He’s a messed-up son of a bitch.”
“And that one?”
“The ogre is trapped in a scenario where she keeps getting thinner the more she eats, and enough food for a banquet surrounds her.”
“Diabolical,” said Captain Ripps, stroking his short beard. “And the hog farmer? Wait, let me guess…he is eating his beloved pig.”
Dyr’s grin widened. “You know me too well.”
“I’m retiring for the night. Keep at it for a few hours, but see to it that they are fresh and alert in the morning. I have a few new…tools that I would like to try out.”
“Yes, Captain.”
Captain Ripps enjoyed a few more moments of tormented cries before whistling a happy tune and turning for the door with a pep in his step.
Chapter 20
The Rise of the Jade Phallus
Ravenwing stood at her work bench and stared at the vial, confused by her findings. Zuul’s blood contained more than one toxin, and each of them were toxic to magic users. It made sense that Zorromon would have poisoned him in such a way, but that had been nearly a month ago, and surely Witch Hazel had been able to counter the effects. The fact that Zuul survived at all was a testament to his great power and the potency of his spirit. But the poison should have run its course by now. The only conclusion that she could come up with was that the witch had been keeping him sick to control him. It was a solid strategy, she knew, but Zuul was useless to her in his present condition, for she couldn’t even communicate with him properly.
She went to work on an antidote for the many poisons. They were complicated concoctions, but Ravenwing was no novice. She had spent ten years with the witches of Westwick, and those old hags had drilled potions into her until she was thinking up tinctures in her sleep. It took her longer than she would have liked, but six hours later, she was pouring the glowing blue and bubbling concoction into a small bottle.
“Zuul, wake up, little Zuul.”
The beet-faced infant opened his bloodshot eyes and focused on Ravenwing. “Momma?” he said in a voice that grated at her nerves.
“You need to take your medicine,” said Ravenwing, cradling his head and touching the bottle to his lips.
Zuul fought her off weakly, dodging the nipple and puckering up his dark, blood-stained lips.
“You are very sick,” she said, trying to coax his mouth open with her fingers.
Suddenly Zuul bit down hard, and his tiny, pointed teeth dug deep.
“Ouch! You little son of a demon!” Ravenwing none-too-kindly forced the nipple into his mouth and pinched his nose. “Drink it!”
Zuul tried to fight, but once he got a taste of the magical concoction, his eyes went wide and he grabbed the bottle, greedily drinking it down. He finished it all before tossing it on the floor and belching loudly. Ravenwing reeled back as fire erupted from his mouth.
She laughed. “There’s a good boy.”
“Where’s Momma Hazel?” said Zuul, eyes now alert and searching the surroundings as he sat up in the makeshift crib. “And where am I? What is this shithole?”
“We are in the Ruins of Agnar at one of my laboratories. You were very ill, and I believe that Witch Hazel was keeping you sick.”
“Momma Hazel was…Munchausen by proxy,” he whispered wetly.
“What?”
“It is time for Zuul to clean out his closet.”
Ravenwing didn’t like the sound of that. And she discreetly grabbed her wand from beneath her robes. Zuul had recovered much sooner than she thought he might, and already she could feel his great power returning. It was as palpable as the humidity hanging in the air.
“My name is Ravenwing,” she said, while at the same time mentally preparing a spell that would put him in a hypnotic state.
“Ravenwing,” he said with a growing grin. “You shall be the new Mother of Zuul.”
“Yes, that’s right,” she said and quickly brought her wand to bear and released her spell.
Zuul brought up a tiny hand at the last moment, and the incantation bounced off and shot back at Ravenwing. She tried to deflect it with her wand but was too late. The spell hit her in the forehead, and her eyes rolled back as she hit the floor.
Ravenwing lay there, only a tiny flame of consciousness still aware. She could not control her body, she could not speak. All she could do was feebly fight the effects of the spell. But it was no use; she had been utterly unprepared for Zuul’s sudden attack.
“Now I have a real momma,” she heard him say.
There was a sound like a high chair tray being flung to the side, followed by a small thud. In her hazy vision, she saw Zuul come around to stand beside her head.
He was grinning, and his tiny horns glowed green. He extended a small hand and touched Ravenwing’s forehead, and fear like she had never known flooded her mind. What had she done? Why had she thought that she could control him? She felt her mind being infested by his. A sound like bat wings against her ears pounded in her head. Power surged into her, and she tried to capture it, but this power was not hers. It was not there for her to use. It was there to crush her mind and steal her soul. Ravenwing tried to scream, and to her horror, her voice was the voice of Zuul. For a moment, she was Zuul. She gave in to the overwhelming force as the power of the Dark Lord coursed through her. It was a power like nothing she could have imagined. It was an ancient, forbidden power.
She gasped and cried out with joy.
Zuul mentally commanded Ravenwing to bend, and she was helpless but to comply. She took him up and placed him on her shoulders, his tiny goat legs dangling like a child being led around a carnival by a happy mother.
Ravenwing faintly felt two small hands on her temples. There was a surge of power and pain, and two long curled horns grew out of her head. She sensed her own body, but also that of Zuul. As he took hold of those horns, Ravenwing and Zuul became one, and all the mysteries of the universe teased to share their secrets.
Zuul turned to the tall mirror leaning against the wall, and Ravenwing saw what they had become. The tiny Dark Lord sat upon her shoulders holding her curved green horns. His eyes, like hers, glowed bright green. Her cloak of raven wings, once dark as shadow, were now illuminated by green, demonic
inner light.
“Now you find the power that you seek,” said Zuul, and through their mental connection, Ravenwing found herself saying the same thing. His voice was guttural and grating, while hers was powerful and smooth. Together they created a sound borne of the hells.
Ravenwing was bathing in magical energy. The power coursed through her veins, through every nerve. The tips of her fingers itched and tingled, and her chakras burned within her like pools of molten lava. She craved release, ached with the need for it, and in the mirror, both she and Zuul grinned.
“You are now the Mother of Zuul,” they said in unison. “We are now the Mother of Zuul.”
They turned from the mirror and walked out the door, into the cool morning air. Thick patches of mist hung low among the ruins, and the green glow lit up the clearing like a fog light. At Zuul’s mental command, Ravenwing reached up and broke off the tip of one of her horns. She began reciting a spell in an ancient, forgotten language. The words rolled off her tongue as easily as they did Zuul’s as she waved her hand over the horn and, bending, stabbed it into the gray earth.
“Behold!” they screamed suddenly, sending golden bats erupting from nearby trees. “The power of the Mother of Zuul!”
Ravenwing and Zuul then extended their hands outward, and from each, a beam of jade energy erupted and shot into the horn. They bellowed their spell, and the horn suddenly doubled in size, and doubled again. It rose into the air and spread out as Zuul commanded Ravenwing to fly. Her cloak transformed into giant raven wings and took them into the air as the horn crashed into the hut, destroying it. The tower continued to expand as it plowed into rocks and broken pillars, pushing aside great mounds of earth as it grew. They flew around the growing horn and watched with delight as the base spread two hundred feet wide and the tower rose one thousand feet into the air.
“Yes! Yes,” they said as they admired the beautiful jade tower that now dominated the landscape.
They landed on the monolithic structure, which widened toward the top like a mushroom. The Mother of Zuul looked down upon the world with four glowing eyes and spread four arms wide.
“The world shall bend the knee, and all shall fear us! But first, we need an army. One so terrible that it shall strike fear into the hearts and minds of all who look upon it.”
Ravenwing thought of Wendel then, and through their mental link, Zuul saw what she had in mind.
***
Wendel sat in the cage waiting for his part to come up. He was very excited, for the people seemed to love him. The tour had come to Vhalovia, and though the king had tried to stop it, the show went on anyway. They had performed in five towns and cities already, and Wendel was really beginning to like his new life. Being that he had been there for a good portion of the quest to defeat Drak’Noir, and given that the champions had gone back on their word, Wendel had taken over the Q & A portion of the show. Every night, he animatedly told the crowd of his exploits—taking great artistic liberty as to what part he played in the whole thing. King Nimrod’s treatment of him had become quite a scandal, and for the first time in his undead…undeadness, Wendel was getting some sympathy for his plight.
He cleared his throat as the curtains closed and the stagehands began setting the scene for King’s Crossing. The cage was wheeled out, and the actor playing Princess Caressa offered him a nod.
“You ready to knock ‘em dead?” she said, grinning at their inside joke.
“Ready as I’ll ever—” Wendel began, but then he screamed as swirling green light began to surround him. His bones tingled and a heavy thrumming sound began to vibrate the cage. “Oh, shiii!”
Wendel was suddenly whooshed through time and space. Sparkling jade light streaked by as he tumbled end over end and sped faster and faster. The pressure became unbearable, and Wendel screamed, surprised by the eeriness of his own voice. Just when he thought that he might explode into a million pieces, he suddenly stopped and fell onto a large piece of green stone. Wendel shakily glanced around, and upon seeing Ravenwing with little Zuul riding on her back, he cursed his luck.
“Oh, come on!” he said, getting up on shaky legs. He realized then that they were very high atop a large green tower.
“Welcome, my minion,” said the Ravenwing-Zuul creature in two voices.
“Minion? Screw that noise!” Wendel turned and leapt off the edge. Luckily, the top of the tower slowly curved outward, and he slid on his tailbone down the side. But then the round top gave way to sheer sides. Wendel fell, clawing and screaming as he went, and landed with a bone shattering crunch a hundred feet below.
The Zuul monster was there, however, and with a spoken word and blast from a wand, Wendel’s bones snapped back together.
“You know,” said Wendel as he got up and dusted himself off. “Wendel was having a grand ole time acting in the play. But nooo, you had to whoosh me here and screw it all up!”
The Zuul monster extended a hand, and Wendel was lifted off his feet. He was hit by a green glowing spell, and pain ripped through his bones. He felt as though he were being torn apart, and to his horror, a green version of himself stepped right out of him, followed by another, and another still. Wendel screamed and cried out in pain as Zuul’s magic somehow gave birth to hundreds of evil versions of him, all of whom were torn from Wendel’s very being.
When the spell finally subsided, Wendel fell to his hands and knees, panting. All around him stood thousands upon thousands of green glowing clones.
“An army of Wendels?” he said as he shakily got to his feet. “What kind of weird shit are you into?”
“You have been wronged by the King of Magestra, and your children share your ire. Now Wendel shall have his revenge.”
“Wendel…Wendel has children? Wendel shall have his revenge…” he said, quite liking the sound of that. “You know what? I think I like your flavor of crazy.”
***
Witch Hazel unraveled the last masking spell and instantly began scrying Ravenwing again. Sweat dripped from her forehead, and large bags had formed beneath her eyes. At her insistence, Kazimir had given her three different concoctions to keep her going. They were dangerous potions, consisting mostly of caffeine, Blue Bull—a dwarven energy drink—, fust crack rocks, and dabs of high-grade wizard leaf. But Hazel couldn’t afford to stop, for if she did, all of the spells that she had unraveled would once again be activated.
“I’m almost there,” she said, straining over the crystal ball and weaving her hands above it as her body twitched.
Kazimir leaned in and watched with growing anticipation as the image in the crystal ball slowly began to take form.
“There he is,” said Hazel as she held the image in place.
In it, Ravenwing stood beside a large green tower. Zuul sat on her shoulders with hooves dangling, and their eyes glowed with the same hellish light. The sorceress had grown large curled horns like those that sat upon Hazel’s head. All around the tower were thousands of green glowing skeletons that looked a lot like Wendel.
“It looks like Zuul is feeling better,” said Kazimir.
“That bitch!” said Hazel. There was both sorrow and anger in her voice. The image flickered and threatened to go out.
“Zoom out quickly, before you lose the image,” said Kazimir.
Hazel complied, and the farther back the view went, the larger the green tower and the army of Wendel’s became. Kazimir and Hazel cocked their heads to the side in unison as they saw the true scale of the tower.
“Is that a giant…d—” Hazel began.
Kazimir laughed. “Talk about little man syndrome.”
“That dirty little boy.” Hazel clucked her tongue and shook her head.
“Do you recognize the land?”
“Yes. He has erected his…palace, in the Ruins of Agnar.”
The image disappeared, and Hazel slumped over the crystal ball. Kazimir helped her to the bed and covered her in a blanket.
“You need to rest.”
“No,”
she said weakly. “We have to free the poor darling from that bitch.”
“Darling? Are we talking about the same Dark Lord?”
“I never should have left him, Kaz. How did I fall into that limp-wristed elf prince’s trap?”
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Those godsdamned champions are a curse. If it hadn’t been for them, Drak’Noir’s portal would be secure, and Zuul would be under my control.”
“Our control.”
“Yeah, right, you know what I mean.”
Hazel looked to him suspiciously as he floated back and forth.
“I need to convince those fools to free my body,” said Kazimir. “This has all gone too far.”
“Even if they agree,” said hazel, who was on the brink of sleep. “Do you think they can break you out?”
“I do. Don’t ask me why, but I think those cursed idiots can do it. Besides, Murland has a lot of pull now. He might just be able to get close enough to my body to free me.”
“What do you need from me?”
“I need you to rest for now. Once you are stronger, I will need you to make some bombs and scry the champions. Then I need you to make me a portal crystal that leads back here.”
Chapter 21
The Black Tooth
Brannon paced the room and bit his thumbnail, watching yet more endless ocean in the dome of swirling mist above the table. Hawkeye sat beside Illindell with her white eyes fluttering as the mentis dominus mentally projected the hawk’s sight into the dome.
Brannon was beginning to worry for his friends. The three ships had been speeding across the water for two days, propelled by the most skilled ventus domini. But even with the great wind at their backs, they seemed to always be just behind the pirate ship.
The Mother of Zuul: Humorous Fantasy (Epic Fallacy Book 4) Page 16
