He throws the football at me a few times, and after the fifth attempt, I finally catch it.
“Yes!” Jesse exclaims, running over and lifting me in the air. I’m reminded of the first time he did that at the hospital when I told him I was cancer-free. That day, the gesture felt strange to the both of us, but as he spins me around, I can’t help laughing and reveling in the feeling of his touch, the sound of his laughter.
When he lowers me to the ground, he skims his fingers down the length of my arms. The intensity of his stare causes me to shiver, but then he grins, and the intensity of the moment is gone.
“Let’s see if that time wasn’t just a fluke.”
Backing up to his original position, he throws the ball to me again. I wait for it to reach me, bring my hands out, and catch it against my chest once again. I’m definitely getting the hang of this. “Alright, you’ve earned your food!” Jesse says.
“Thank goodness!” I shout.
He takes the football from my hands and brings his arm around my shoulder. “Good work today, Evans.”
“Thanks, Coach,” I respond, playfully patting him on the back.
We start walking towards his bag, and I enjoy the way his arm feels around my shoulders. “So, what’d you bring for lunch?” I ask.
“What do you think?” he says, looking at me with eyebrows raised.
I stop mid-step. “Turkey sandwiches?”
He nods enthusiastically. “And apples!”
“I can’t believe that’s what you brought,” I tell him, sitting down on the turf.
“I had to reinvent our first date.” When the words leave his mouth, my heart somersaults inside my chest. Date. Is that what this is? Because that is what I want it to be.
He starts searching through his bag and pulls out two wrapped sandwiches, apples, and Gatorades. It’s crazy how the uttering of one little word has thrown me off kilter, but he seems just fine. “Make sure you drink a lot. You’ve gotta restore electrolytes,” he says, handing the Gatorade over to me.
“Yes, sir.”
“So, what do you think about football?” he asks, passing the sandwich and apple over to me.
“Not bad. That was actually fun,” I tell him honestly.
“So, you’ll be at my next game?” He takes a bite of his lunch. I take in his every action, unable to stop myself from admiring this handsome man seated in front of me.
“I’ll think about it,” I tease him once again. I know I’ll definitely go to his game, but I love how it feels to have him ask me—to have him want me to cheer him on, watch him.
“You have to now; otherwise, you’ll have to pay for this mini football camp we just had.”
“I didn’t ask for this! I shouldn’t have to pay for it,” I whine, unwrapping my own sandwich.
He nods. “True. But your life is so much better because of it. So, you should at least come see me play.”
“We’ll see.”
“You play a hard game, Evans,” he says, setting down the remainder of his sandwich and opening his drink.
“So do you, Falcon,” I remind him. And while I do mean football, I also mean with my heart.
20
Another Visit
Jesse
Despite the chill wind and intermittent rain, I’m back at the place I used to spend most of my time off. To be honest, I feel guilty that I haven’t been here in a month. That’s the longest I’ve gone without taking this same road, following the same path.
“I’m sorry for not replacing these sooner,” I tell Hayley, switching out the old lilies for fresh ones.
“The last few weeks have been crazy. Remember I told you all about how the internship was going the last time I was here?” I pause as if waiting for confirmation I know will never come. “I didn’t tell you about someone I’d met.” I hang my head, a little ashamed for keeping this from her.
“I told you about Maria, but I didn’t mention that I met another girl. I should’ve told you about her earlier, but—” I run my fingers through my hair, feeling like invisible walls are closing in on me.
“I didn’t want you to think I was replacing you.” I’d never do that. I start playing with the grass next to her headstone. I wait to see if I can feel something. Anything.
Turning, I look around the almost empty cemetery. There are only a couple of people around, and each of their expressions mirrors my own. An older man stands in front of a grave, staring longingly at it. I can see from the lost look in his face that he’d do whatever was possible to switch places with whomever rests there. Or maybe that’s just me assuming he feels the same way I do. A few feet behind him, a middle-aged woman is looking at the sky. She’s probably questioning why her loved one was taken away from her, why her time with them was cut short? I wonder the same thing.
“I’m sorry I haven’t come to see you.” I touch the cold stone. “I know if you were here, you’d say something like, ‘Jess, I don’t know why you keep coming to this empty grave. I’m not here anymore. I’m in heaven looking over you. Stop holding on to the past. Live!’” I smile, remembering the sound of her voice, the constant smile on her face. Even at the end of her life, she never ceased to amaze me.
“I know you aren’t here, but it feels wrong to let this place be forgotten—to let you be forgotten. I don’t want to stop remembering you, stop talking to you…”
“So, yeah, I met this girl…” I don’t know why I keep avoiding this conversation, but I owe it to Hayley. I even owe it to Zoe. “Her name is Zoe, and she was a patient at the hospital. I didn’t really think I’d be close to her, or anyone else for that matter, but it just happened. She has some qualities that remind me of you, but she’s also very different.
“She’s got short red hair. She told me it used to be long before the cancer came… how much she missed it…” I sigh and kick out my legs. “When she talked about losing it all, it reminded me of you. You told me how important hair was for girls. I never understood it. I thought you looked breathtakingly beautiful with it both short and long. Whatever way you had it, it looked amazing on you…the same is true for her.” I shake my head, stopping myself from thinking about Zoe in the same way I think about Hayley.
“Anyway,” I say, “I know I haven’t been here in a while, but I’ll get better at that.”
I don’t want to forget her.
I can’t.
ZOE
I take the steps up to the hospital one at a time. It’s been a couple of weeks since I last came in for a checkup, just enough time that I almost forgot I was stuck here for months.
Thinking back on the last year of my life, it’s kind of unbelievable how far I’ve come. I mean, I beat cancer, resumed college, and met Emma. I even have Jesse in my life.
Fiona greets me the moment I walk in through the doors of the oncology floor.
I run into her open arms, embracing her. I’ve missed seeing her so much. “Hi, Fi.”
“Someone’s in a good mood,” she says, hugging me back.
“Life is good,” I tell her, and I mean it.
“Glad to hear it!”
“How’s everything here?” I ask, a little more cautiously.
“You know, same as always.” I know what she means by that. I was here long enough to hear about the good days, where the kids overcame illness, and the bad days when the illness overcame the kids.
“How’s Maria?” I ask, feeling guilty that I haven’t been by in the last couple of weeks. Making the transition into a full-time student and adjusting to all that entails has taken up a lot of my time. That plus Emma and Jesse.
Still, that’s no excuse for not visiting her—not a good one anyway.
“She’s holding on. We’re hoping the bone marrow transplant works.”
“Can I go see her?” When I was a patient, I had free reign of the hospital, but now as an outpatient, I feel like I have to ask.
“Of course. You know the way. After you’re done, head over to the treatment room. We just
need to run some blood tests.”
“Thanks, Fi.” I walk over to Maria’s room. With each step, I pray she’ll be as lucky as I am. I can’t even fathom the pain she must have gone through—the pain she’s still going through. Well, that’s a lie, I can imagine it.
I pop my head into the room. “Knock, knock.” Robert is sitting on the chair near the bed, while Martha sits on the side of the bed, playing peek-a-boo with her baby girl. Maria’s laughter fills the room and my heart all at the same time.
“Look who came to visit!” Robert exclaims, using the sweet voice he reserves for his granddaughter.
“Zoe!” Maria shouts, clapping her hands.
I step into the room. “Hi, beautiful.”
“Hey, Zo. It’s so great to see you!” Martha gets up from the bed and meets me halfway, embracing me. She hugs me for a few beats before finally letting go.
“I’ve missed you guys so much. I’ve missed you especially,” I tell Maria.
“I missed you too! When are you coming back?” she asks. To visit? More often. To stay? Hopefully never.
“I’ll come visit soon. Sorry I haven’t had a chance to stop by.”
“It’s okay. Can we play a game?” Maria asks, my transgressions long forgotten.
“Sure we can! What do you want to play?” Martha takes a seat next to Robert, and I take her spot on the bed like I have many times before. The only difference this time is that after it’s over, I won’t be heading to my own room down the hall.
“Can we play ‘I spy’?” she asks.
I nod. “I spy, with my little eye, a very pretty little girl.”
“Is it me?” she responds, excited to have guessed.
“You’re still so good at this game!” I tell her, and she smiles proudly. It’s these little things—small things like playing this game that make long days feel a little shorter, go by a little quicker. I play with Maria and catch up with Robert and Martha for a couple of minutes until it’s time for my check-up. After it’s done and the doctor clears me once again, I return to Maria’s room and try and make her smile a few more times.
“Thank you,” Martha tells me as she walks me out the door two hours later.
“I’m sorry I haven’t been by.”
“Don’t be. Seeing you out there instead of in here gives me hope that one day I’ll see my little girl doing the same. You were given a second chance,” Martha says, a tear sliding down her beautiful dark skin. “Use it.”
“I will, and Maria will get a second chance too,” I assure her even though I don’t really know.
I just pray she does.
21
Meeting the Girls
Zoe
“How many classes do you have today again?” I ask Emma, who’s walking next to me with that damn e-reader in her hand. I look across the quad towards the building of my next class, quietly dreading it. I glance back at my roommate, hoping to see her eyes lift from the device, but they don’t.
“Three,” she says, still engrossed in her story.
“Do you want to get lunch?”
“Can’t. One of my classes runs straight through the lunch hour today. I packed a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.”
It’s another minute before Emma finally looks up, sighing in relief. She puts the e-reader away, and I smile.
“That sucks,” I tell her, secretly happy to have her full attention.
She nods. “Dinner?”
“That works for me!”
“Alright, I’ll see you at six, then,” Emma says, taking a left towards the science building.
“See you then!” I shout back.
“Yo, Red!” I hear someone yell behind me. Looking around, I don’t see any other redheads, so I hesitantly turn around. To my surprise, I see Jesse walking in my direction with some of the guys he’d been with at the café.
He flashes me an apologetic smile.
“Hey, Red,” a blond guy says. I think I’ve seen him before.
“Zoe,” Jesse corrects, and I give him an amused look.
I did tell him it wasn’t an original nickname.
The blond waves him off and extends his hand to me. “I’m Nick.”
“I’m Zack,” says a redhead standing in the middle of Jesse and Nick.
“Nice to meet you, Red,” I say teasingly.
“Touché,” he replies with a goofy smile on his face.
I turn my eyes to Jesse. “Hey.”
“Hi,” he says with an easy smile.
“What are you doing for lunch?” Nick asks, drawing my attention away.
I look at him for a moment too long, trying to figure out why he’s asking.
“Will you join us?” Zack adds.
“Who is us?” I ask, curiosity getting the better of me. I glance at Jesse to find him looking back at the guys, mouth open.
“Your man Jesse over here,” he says, pointing at a red-faced Jesse. “Zack and myself, plus a few others,” Nick says. I don’t register a word after ‘your man Jesse.’
“I’m sure she has better things to do than—” Jesse starts, but I cut him off.
“I’d love to,” I answer, looking at Nick and Zack. I can feel Jesse staring at me, but I ignore him. I don’t know why he’s been so adamant about not letting me meet his friends.
“Great!” replies Zack. “We’ll see you at the main dining room at 12pm.” He says this matter-of-factly—like we’ve set up an official appointment.
“See you then,” I respond, still refusing to look at Jesse—not out of rebellion, but out of fear.
“See you later, then,” Jesse says, and my gaze returns to him. He’s smiling warmly, and it makes me feel like he actually wants me there. Maybe he wanted it to be my choice.
I look down at my watch, realizing I’m about to be late for class. “Gotta go!” I tell them, waving goodbye. I start walking in the direction of the political science building, feeling my pulse increase, knowing it has nothing to do with being late to class.
It’s lunchtime, and I’m seated at what I now realize is the football team’s table. It feels odd sitting here, but at least I’m not the only girl, and that makes me feel a little better. I look to my right to find Jesse smiling back at me. Under the table though, I drum my fingers, the nerves of meeting many of the people Jesse cares about getting the best of me.
I fight through the anxiety though because he cares about them… and I care about him. I just wish people would stop staring at me like I have something stuck in my teeth. Oh my goodness! Do I? That would be embarrassing, but also not likely. I haven’t eaten anything since I sat down. My salad stares back at me, mocking me. I don’t even like salad.
“I can’t believe you’d let her meet the guys before meeting us,” Mia complains from the other side of the table. I join her in looking at Jesse to find a cute shade of red creeping up his neck. I guess I didn’t expect him to be nervous too.
“I didn’t mean for her to meet the guys,” he argues half-heartedly. “They saw her across the quad.”
“It doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t have kept her from us!” the girl who introduced herself to me as Kaitlyn Hunter shouts from her seat right next to Mia.
I can tell the moment Jesse’s about to throw in the towel because of his intake of breath. “I don’t know what I was thinking,” he says, telling them exactly what they want to hear.
“Neither do I,” Kaitlyn shoots back, and I laugh. I turn to find Jesse silently begging me for help. I shake my head slightly, telling him he’s on his own.
Rolling his eyes at me, we both turn towards Mia and Kaitlyn when one of them clears their throat.
“So, we’ve got a lot to ask you since we didn’t know you existed until five minutes ago,” Kaitlyn says, her eyes cutting to Jesse before returning to me.
Oh boy. This will be interesting.
“Ask away,” I say, trying to sound as confident as I can. Jesse finds my hand under the table. He squeezes it slightly, giving me the strength I need.
“You just gave the Monster free reign; good luck,” Mia warns.
“Hey! I take offense to that. I am not a monster!” Kaitlyn replies.
“You know it’s all out of love,” Mia says, and they both smile at each other.
They continue to tease each other, and I’m happy for the reprieve I’m given. The guys—well, Nick—invited me to lunch, and I accepted the invitation right away, but it wasn’t until I showed up at the cafeteria and looked at Jesse seated in a table that I realized I was going to meet the girls too.
“Back to you, Zoe; where did you and our Jesse meet?” Kaitlyn asks.
“We met at the hospital,” I tell her, and I can see the puzzled look on her face.
“You were an intern there this summer too?” she asks.
I knew this was the kind of question I’d be opening myself to when I answered. I glance at Jesse, but he’s still talking to Zack. I shift in my seat, the movement drawing his attention.
Under the table, he puts his hand on my knee. “Everything okay?” he asks quietly.
I nod. “Kaitlyn was just asking where we met.”
He stiffens immediately, but I’m not going to lie about this. I squeeze his fingers to tell him as much.
“I wasn’t; I was a patient,” I respond.
“I’m sorry.” Kaitlyn immediately utters her apology, her eyes searching for injuries like everyone does.
I wave it off. “It’s all good.”
“Have you seen the guys play yet?” Mia asks suddenly, steering the conversation away from me. I give her a slight nod, trying to convey my appreciation to her.
“I haven’t. Are they any good?” From the corner of my eye, I see all the guys’ heads turn my way.
“Are we any good?” Zack asks out loud in mock outrage, causing all the girls to laugh.
Fighting For You (Bragan University Series Book 2) Page 12
