by Linda Conrad
He stood, mainly to think of where to start, and went to the cabinet. “Sure.”
While he poured water into a glass and handed it to her, he began. “In the first place, at the time of her death, Laurel and I were divorced. When Samuel and the Devotees first came to town, she became enthralled with everything they had to offer. She started going to Samuel’s seminars, and soon she was working out in their brand-new state-of-the-art gym and having lunch with other Devotees in one of their health-food cafés. It wasn’t long before she wanted a divorce.” He sat down beside Susannah so they could talk quietly.
“That must’ve been terrible for you. Did you love her very much?”
He’d been thinking a lot about that lately and didn’t much like the answer he’d come up with. “Actually, we’d been drifting apart for a while. Laurel never really took to ranch life. I’d thought she and I should start a family right away, but she always held back. I think now that we were mismatched from the get-go. But back then, I convinced myself that it was all Samuel’s doing, that he seduced her with pretty images, phony emotional support and smiling people to offer friendship.”
“Yes, all those things are very tempting for someone who is already lost.” Susannah tried a timid smile, but it lit up her entire face.
He was sinking in quicksand, wanting her so much he could barely breathe. Desperate to stay away, he forced his attention back to the story.
Clearing his throat, he went on. “When I realized what was going on over there, I decided to find a way to save Laurel. It didn’t matter that we were already divorced by then. I felt responsible. I’d brought her to Cold Plains in the first place. And it was my father who sold Samuel the property that put him and the Devotees on their path to taking over the town.”
Susannah bit her lip and reached out to take his hand.
The warmth of her touch sent electric currents directly to his groin, but he plowed ahead. “I studied as fast as I could. I took classes in psychology and spoke at length with a man who had debriefed cult members back in the eighties. I believed that I was nearly ready to try helping Laurel when she texted me one day out of the blue.”
“Was she asking for a reconciliation?”
“No. She was asking for help. Her text said the Devotees were worse than I’d thought and to come quick.”
“Did you? Did you go right away?”
Sliding his hand out from under hers, he fisted it and forced it to his side. “God, help me, no. It was late, and Sara was having a bad night. She was terribly little then, and I didn’t dare leave her until morning when the housekeeper arrived. By the time I got to town at daybreak, Laurel had disappeared. She’d vanished. I rounded up a bunch of locals to go looking for her and eventually convinced the FBI that she hadn’t left of her own free will. But no one could find a trace.”
He drew in a deep breath, hesitating to finish. The story never got any easier. “They eventually found her body four weeks later in a ditch near Cheyenne. She was murdered, shot in the head, execution style.”
“Did they ever find out who did it?”
Shaking his head, he closed his eyes and tried to keep a torrent of hatred for the Devotees and Samuel from spewing out of his mouth. “No,” he finally managed. “Seemed she’d been dating that Jonathan Miller guy who was the personal trainer at Cold Plains Fitness. But he had an alibi and was cleared of any connection.”
“I know Jonathan. Good-looking guy. He runs the fitness place now. Seems nice.”
Nathan had to keep his hands balled to stop from shaking her. “Seems nice? Haven’t you been listening to a word I’ve said over the past couple of days?”
Her eyes widened. “Yes, I have. I know now that just because he seems nice doesn’t mean he is. He’s part of the fantasy.”
“Miller was one of the guys who came looking for you the first day you arrived.” Nathan really worked at keeping his tone neutral. “He’s a scumbag. I’m sure he had something to do with Laurel’s death, but no one’s been able to prove it.”
Susannah looked down at her hands in her lap. “I don’t know if I’m smart enough or strong enough to beat the Devotees, Nathan. Not in the long run.”
He tenderly laid a hand on her shoulder, trying to give her as much support as he could muster without taking her in his arms. “You left. Of your own free will. No one forced you. You’re a lot smarter and stronger than you think you are.”
“I don’t know.” She sighed again and then looked up. “What time is it?”
“Nearly nine.”
“Oh. Kathryn’s been sitting with Melody. Sara wanted to visit the baby this evening, and Kathryn and I made a deal. But Sara will already be in bed. I have to go.”
“You and Kathryn made a deal?”
“Yes. She sits with Melody when I want to do something outside the house. I even express milk so Kathryn can feed her on occasion. In return, Melody and I sit with Sara when Kathryn has to be away from the ranch.”
“That sounds like a good deal all around. Glad you and Sara are getting along so well.”
“Me, too. She’s such a doll. I just wish I could do something to help her.”
“But you are helping her. By being her friend and playing with her, you are helping.”
He meant every word of what he was saying. Fruitless wishing for more time to spend with his niece had become a way of life lately. It was a sad regret that nagged at the back of his mind all the time. Sara needed so much attention. He was happy that Susannah made the effort.
“I’d better go now.” She started out the door but turned at the last minute. “Thank you for helping me, Nathan. And for taking me and Melody in. I wish I could think of how to help you in return. But I’ll never be able to repay you for everything you’ve done. My outlook on life is changing, and it’s all due to you. Thank you.”
After she walked out, the tension finally left his shoulders. He hoped to hell she was telling the truth, that he had helped her to see things differently. But there was still that niggling feeling in his gut that until he knew all her secrets he would never truly be sure she’d changed.
People could say anything. And often what they said didn’t match what they believed. He’d learned that lesson.
“You think you can handle the mare by yourself, little lady?” Mr. Pierce, Nathan’s father, had just finished showing Susannah the ropes on how to curry a horse.
After never spending any time around horses in her entire life up to now, she’d suddenly discovered that she loved them. “Yes, sir. I know I can do a good job. You can count on me. Miss Lulu and I get along very well.”
“Well, that’s excellent. I believe you. I’ll be right next door in the office going over invoices with Mac for a bit. You finish up the chores for us?”
“I’ll do it, sir.”
Mr. Pierce chuckled and shook his head. “You can call me by my given name. Evan isn’t too difficult, is it?”
“No, sir. Uh…I mean, Evan.”
This time he laughed out loud. “We’ve sorely needed a little sunshine and laughter around this place, Susannah. And your brand of smile sure makes the days go by in a hurry. Thank you.”
He was thanking her? It was the first time in memory someone had taken the effort to thank her just for smiling.
Susannah turned to finish up with Miss Lulu after Evan left her alone in the stall. While she brushed and stroked the docile horse, her mind wandered to the other person in the household who she certainly wished would notice her smile.
Nathan. The man was infuriating. He’d more or less stopped working as her counselor a couple of nights ago. Now they barely saw each other in the evenings for dinner or ran into each other early in the mornings while she was on her way to take Melody to visit Kathryn and Sara.
And that was it. There were no more long hours lingering over the coffeepot. There were no more frank discussions. Their talks had petered out after he’d tried to probe into her past history—the time before she came to Cold Plains, before Melody,
way back to when she was a child.
She never talked about that period of her life—not ever, not to anyone.
Nathan was different than most. He could be someone she might confide in at last. But she had a feeling he would be telling her soon that her time on the ranch was over. Melody was well. She was healthy and pink and staying awake for longer hours every day.
Why would Nathan want them to stick around after she and her child were well enough to leave? She’d already pushed the time limit Dr. Black had set. Ten days to two weeks, he’d said. But they were nearly to three. If she was bound to go soon, she couldn’t turn over any more of her trust.
Oh, yes, her heart wanted to. But it would cost her too much when she had to leave.
She’d already fallen for the guy—crazy as that sounded.
Nathan obviously took extreme measures to keep the two of them from touching. So even though she occasionally saw lust in his eyes when he gazed at her, he must’ve decided he didn’t want anyone as damaged as she was.
Leaning her forehead against the mare’s flank, she tried to stem the tears…stupid tears. It was worthless and useless to cry over something you never had.
She sniffed the waterworks away and fought her blurry eyes by squeezing them shut. The horse moved a little under her forehead.
“Yes, Miss Lulu, you’re done. You are such a good girl.” Reaching over, she stroked the animal one last time. “See you tomorrow.”
Time to go retrieve Melody and check with Kathryn and Sara. Though, Kathryn probably wouldn’t mind if she stayed away for a while longer. Yesterday Kathryn said that Sara had made a ton of improvement since she and Melody had been visiting regularly.
Kathryn seemed to love the baby, too. Susannah never worried for one second about her child while she was with Kathryn and Sara.
Stepping out of the barn into the sunshine, Susannah stood still and breathed deeply. Yes, she loved it here. Too bad she was destined to leave soon.
“That’s her! Grab her.”
She turned to the sudden shouting only to find two strange men bearing down on her. Before she could comprehend the meaning of what was happening, the first man had her in his grip.
“Where’s the baby?” The other man, a man she barely recognized as a Devotee, got right in her face and shouted.
That got through to her. Devotees! “Wait! You don’t want us. The baby isn’t perfect. Leave us alone!”
She struggled against the rough treatment, and the man who’d shouted slapped her in the face. “Shut up.”
As the two strongmen began dragging her away from the barn and toward a waiting car, there didn’t seem to be much chance of breaking free. Her only hope was making enough noise to garner notice.
Starting to scream, she braced for another blow, fully expecting more pain. It came, this time as the guy with his hands on her tightened his grip on her arms while the other man hit her again. The blow only succeeded in making her scream louder.
“Cover her mouth, you idiot.” The man who spoke took one of her arms and jerked it behind her back.
The other guy fought to cover her mouth with the palm of his hand. She twisted her head and tried to bite him.
“Hey!” Another voice sounded from somewhere nearby. “Stop! What the hell…?”
She couldn’t see who was shouting, but she sure hoped it was someone who could help.
“Move!” The man who’d slapped her picked her up by grabbing her around the waist and started to run.
Tired and fighting a constant desire to ditch work and be with Susannah, Nathan was heading toward the equipment barn with his head down and frustration rampant in his veins. Done for the day, he wished he could disappear for the night rather than have to face that beautiful, vulnerable face across the supper table.
Lost in his thoughts of her, he jumped when he heard shouting. But those sounds were soon drowned out by a shotgun blast.
Whoa! What the hell was going on near the house?
Running as fast as he could toward the noise, visions of murder and destruction blinded him and made him stumble. Damn, damn, damn!
As he rounded the last corner of the barn, he saw a half-dozen men chasing after a sedan that was speeding away over low grasses, bumping along in the direction of the main road. Chaos and barnyard dust obscured his view.
It seemed to take too much time for his slow brain to clear. As the dust finally began to settle, he put two and two together. Those frigging Devotees must’ve had the nerve to show up on ranch property again. He hoped to hell someone had gotten a decent shot off and winged one. They obviously needed a lesson in manners. Don’t come where you’re not wanted.
But since the car was already almost out of sight, he slowed his steps until it hit him…Susannah. Had they gotten to her and carried her off?
His cell phone was out of his pocket before he could think of who to call. If he called the police looking for Ford, he might just end up with the chief, Bo Fargo, instead. And chances were better than fifty-fifty that Fargo was a Devotee and one of Samuel Grayson’s top men.
Hell… Searching his mind for an alternative, Nathan came up with the FBI and Hawk Bledsoe. Sure that he still had the man’s card in his desk in the ranch’s office, he moved in the direction of the office and away from the ranch hands continuing to chase after the disappearing sedan.
But as he neared the office, he looked up and spotted something that lifted the oppressive ache in his chest—the same ache he hadn’t noticed until this moment, the one that had sprung up to take him nearly to his knees from the moment he’d figured out that the intruders were Devotees on ranch property.
His father and Mac, half carrying and half holding up Susannah between them, were heading for the main house. Thank God.
Nathan hurried to catch up. “What happened?” he asked as he came closer.
His father explained over his shoulder. “I spotted them damned Devotees manhandling Susannah and called Mac out of the barn. He came running with his shotgun and fired a warning blast over their heads. He couldn’t aim at ’em for fear of hitting Susannah.”
Manhandling? “How badly is she hurt?”
“Not bad. It mostly scared her. But she’ll be all right once we get her cleaned up.”
Nathan stepped up next to Mac. “I’ll take her from here. You call in the men and go back to whatever you were doing.”
Mac nodded and turned away. Nathan put his arm around Susannah’s waist and tried to hold her upright against his body. But when he noticed her wincing, he let loose.
“What hurts?”
“At the moment, everything.” She looked over at him, and the sight of her bruised face made him wince, too.
He would kill the bastards who’d laid a hand on her. He’d do it with his bare hands. The idea of some sick screwup hurting her turned his stomach. It was everything he could do to guide her gently into the house.
“Dad, I’ll see to her.”
His father heeded his request and hesitated when they came to the kitchen door.
“You could do me a favor, though,” he said to be polite. “Go on out to my desk and find Hawk Bledsoe’s card. He wrote his cell number on the back. Call him. Tell him I want to see him.”
“Should I tell him why?” His father was being a lot more agreeable and accommodating than he’d been in many years. The old man suddenly looked haggard and tired. His shoulders were stooped, and his face had turned a sickly gray.
“Just tell him to come. Tomorrow morning will be okay. He’ll know why.”
Nodding, his father spun around and headed off while Nathan led Susannah inside. His dad sure had changed since Susannah had arrived. Today the transformation would’ve been stunning if Nathan had had the chance to consider it.
The moment Susannah entered the warm kitchen and heard Maria humming in the background somewhere, she began to sob. Big sloppy tears flowed down her cheeks.
A new ache hit him square in the chest. “You’re okay. Everything
’s over now. Uh…” He was at a loss as to what to say.
“Nathan?” Maria’s voice called out to him from the utility room. “Is that you already? Supper won’t be for a while yet.”
Susannah turned into his chest. “Don’t let her see me this way. Please.”
“It’s not that bad,” he told her without thinking. But then he realized it probably was as bad as she thought.
He’d been planning on having Maria clean her up and tend to the minor scrapes. “Come on back to the bathroom with me. I’ll take care of you.”
The tears came harder. “I…I can take care of myself.”
“Nathan?” Maria, still unseen, was sounding worried.
“Yeah, it’s me. Don’t stop whatever you’re doing. I’m going to clean up. I’ll see you in a bit.”
“Okay.”
Susannah put her hand to her mouth and blinked her thanks. Then she put her head down and hustled off toward his old bedroom and bath.
By the time he made it to the bathroom behind her, she was already running water. The tears were stopped, but the streaks of dirt on her cheeks were heartbreaking to see.
“I can do this, Nathan. Really.”
He shook his head but didn’t bother to reply. “The first-aid kit is here in the linen closet. If you can splash water on your hands and face, I can clean up the worst of it with alcohol.”
It took her a few minutes to carefully wash, and when she’d finished, she turned to him. “I guess I do need help. I’m afraid to look in the mirror. I appreciate the offer.”
“Nothing I see is that bad. You have a bruise on one cheek that might turn purple later on. And you have a tiny scrape on your chin. But your face should be back to its normal gorgeous self in a day or two.”
That actually brought out a smile but she didn’t say anything.
“Have a seat where I can see you better in the light.” He nodded his head toward the only seat in the bathroom.
She made sure the lid was down and sat. He bent to dab at her few scrapes with an antibiotic wipe.
One or two spots must’ve still been plenty raw, because when he went over them, she opened her mouth and breathed heavily. But she made not one sound of protest.
