by Tell Cotten
I’ll admit being an outlaw did have its perks. I was able to save up a lot of cash for our cattle venture, and I saw a lot of country. Over time we rode down all the main trails, and I got to know the country real good.
Before I knew it, two whole years had passed.
I was now seventeen, and I wasn’t skinny and lanky anymore. I had grown taller and had filled out. My shoulders were wide and my hips were narrow.
We had been lucky those first two years, and everybody knew that it was just a matter of time before Kinrich’s luck ran out.
Trouble was, everybody ’cept Kinrich felt it. Whenever it was mentioned in front of him, he’d just laugh scornfully and say we were getting jumpy over nothing.
Looking back now, I can clearly see just how much Kinrich changed during those first two years.
His mood swings started happening more regularly, and they lasted longer. One day he would yell and scream at me over nothing, and the next day he would try to be my best friend.
I was confused by his behavior, and I kept my distance.
As for me, I kept getting more and more nervous. My greatest fear was that I would be forced to kill innocent folks, and it was on my mind constantly.
Deep down I knew it was time to quit. I know I’d told Kinrich I’d stay for four years, but I was afraid of what I was becoming.
I asked Kinrich about it one day, and he got a funny look on his face.
“Why quit now, Button?” He asked. “I’d say things are going pretty good.”
“But we’ve got more than enough money to start our own outfit,” I replied. “And that was the plan, wasn’t it?”
Kinrich was silent as he thought it over.
“Tell you what, Button,” he finally said. “I’ve already got some jobs lined up for this next year. Stick with me one more year, and then you and me will quit and get ourselves that cow outfit you’ve always wanted.”
So there it was. One more year, and my days of being an outlaw would be over for good. We had been lucky for two years; why not one more?
“All right, Kinrich,” I answered. “I’ll stay one more year. But after that I’m leaving, with or without you.”
Then came the day that I killed another man.
Chapter twenty-nine
It was a bank job, over in Kansas, and my job was to hold the horses and cover everybody.
All was going well as Kinrich and the rest of the boys came out of the bank. Everybody moved to their horse, and within seconds everyone except Kinrich was mounted and ready to go.
Kinrich had his back to the bank. He was beside his horse, and he was putting the loot in his saddlebags.
Suddenly, a lawman came flying out of the bank, holding a shotgun.
There wasn’t time to think. My hand slapped leather, and before I knew it I was firing away.
There were loud bursts of gunfire all around me, and then it seemed like time just froze.
The lawman was slammed up hard against the wall of the bank and slid slowly to the ground. A red stain was appearing on his shirt, and he stared straight into my eyes.
He knew he was dying. A pleading look crossed his face, but all I could do was just stare back.
But suddenly, I felt a hard shaking.
It brought me to my senses, and I realized that Kinrich had run over to me.
“Git outta here, Button!” He yelled at me.
I wanted to go help the lawman. But instead, I kicked up Slim, and we left in a dead run.
When I got outside of town I tried to pull Slim up, but for some reason I couldn’t move my arm. I looked down and was shocked to see blood flowing down my side.
Slim ran wildly, and all I could do was just hold on. Slim finally started slowing down, and everybody else caught up.
By then I was real lightheaded, and I don’t remember much. Kinrich told me later that I passed out and fell off.
After that things were real foggy.
I remember Lee and Kinrich hovering over me, and I remember blood being everywhere. I passed out again, and I didn’t wake up for a long time.
The sky was dark, and I was stretched out on the ground beside a campfire.
Kinrich was there. He was sitting on the other side of the fire, smoking a cigarette and stirring some beans.
“Hello there, Button,” he said. “It’s about time you woke up. You’ve been out cold for a couple of days now.”
I tried to sit up, but Kinrich stopped me.
“Don’t move, or else you’ll just start bleeding again. You got blasted in the shoulder by a shotgun, and you’ve got more bullet holes in you than you have whiskers. It took me and Lee nearly two hours to dig all that buckshot outta you.”
“Where is everybody?” I asked weakly.
Kinrich filled me in.
“They sent a posse out after us, so after I split up the money everybody else lit out while me and Lee holed up here with you. Lee was worried ’bout you and wanted to stay, but I told him to go ahead and leave, ’cause three is harder to hide. So Lee left, and then I did my best to cover our tracks. Luckily the posse passed us by.”
“What are we going to do now?” I wanted to know.
Kinrich shrugged.
“Only thing we can do is to stay here until you can ride again. Then, we’ll mosey back to our valley and let you heal up before the next job. Now you quit worrying and get some rest, ’cause you’ll need it.”
I could tell that I had lost a lot of blood. I felt weak all over, and the only thing I could do was sleep.
Two weeks passed, and after that I was finally able to sit up and move around some. I was very sore, and I hurt in places that I didn’t even know about.
But I was able to ride, and we slowly made it back to our valley. Once there I was bedridden for two weeks.
While I was recovering I was very depressed.
It was starting to sink in that I had killed another man, and this time I’d killed a good, honest man. It was a heavy burden to carry, and it ate at me day and night.
Pa’s words kept coming back to me.
He’d said if I killed the wrong man that it would haunt me for the rest of my life. Well, I had killed the wrong man, and I now knew that Pa had been right.
I had nightmares nearly every single night. I’d wake up in a cold sweat, and my whole body would be soaking wet. I kept seeing the face of the dying lawman, and it was a face that I’d never be able to forget.
There wasn’t any excuse for what I had done, and I kept praying to God to forgive me. I figured God might forgive, but I knew that I never could.
I couldn’t change the past, but I could control the future somewhat, and I made a vow that somehow I would make up for what I’d done.
I’d already told Kinrich that I would stick with him for another year, and I figured I owed him that. But after that I was leaving, and this time I was going on alone.
I didn’t want my own outfit anymore either. I figured I didn’t deserve one.
Four months passed, and except for a few nasty scars, my body finally made a full recovery.
During that time I mainly just kept to myself.
Kinrich was confused by my behavior, and at first he tried to be extra friendly and such.
But Kinrich finally gave up, and soon afterwards he fell into one of his darker moods again.
This time it lasted much longer than usual, and when Kinrich finally came out of it he just went around looking bored.
We were sitting round the fire one night, eating supper. We hadn’t talked at all that day, and finally Kinrich just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Pack up your things tonight, Button, ’cause we’re leaving in the morning,” he suddenly said.
I was surprised, because we weren’t supposed to be leaving for a few days yet.
“Why? Has something gone wrong with our next job?” I asked.
“No, nothing like that,” Kinrich replied, and there was a touch of excitement in his voice.
“Bu
tton, I’ve been doing some thinking. Now, you and me have more money than most folks ever will, and all we ever do is just sit here staring at each other. I think it’s time we had us a little fun.”
“What do you mean?” I asked curiously.
“We should ride into a town and enjoy the sights,” Kinrich announced. “I ain’t been to town in over two years now.”
“What would we do?” I asked cautiously.
“Whatever you want!” Kinrich grinned. “Play some cards, dance a mite, mebbe even have a drink or two.”
“I don’t know, Kinrich,” I said, not liking the idea much. “You go on if’n you want. I can meet up with you later.”
“Nobody wants to go to town alone!” Kinrich objected. “You’ve got to come!”
I grudgingly thought it over.
“What town do you figure on going to?”
“Well, our next job is near the border between the New Mexico Territory and Texas, and the nearest town is a place called Midway. I ain’t never been there, but Lee told me that there’s a nice little hotel there.”
I was suddenly curious.
“Midway?”
Kinrich nodded.
“That’s what I was thinking. You got any better ideas?”
“No, I’d like to see Midway,” I replied thoughtfully.
“Good! It’s settled then.”
Kinrich was happy, and he made himself busy as he hustled about getting ready to leave.
As for me, I was thinking of Midway. Pa had sure made it sound like a wonderful place, and now I was finally going to get to see it.
Chapter thirty
It took us a week to get there.
The night before we rode into town we stopped and took a bath in a stock tank that was used for watering cows. We also shaved and washed our cloths as best we could.
We got up earlier than usual, and Kinrich got all dressed up.
He brushed off his hat, and he even put on a brand new shirt. I had no idea where he got it from, but after he was through getting all fixed up I had to admit that he did have a handsome look about him.
I didn’t worry about my appearance. I still wasn’t too keen on this little adventure, and I just wore the same ol’ clothes that I always wore.
Kinrich was excited, and he talked more to me that day then he had in the past two years combined.
I was pretty quiet, but every once in a while I did manage to flash a grin at Kinrich, just so he wouldn’t get mad at me.
We finally reached Midway about an hour before dark.
At first Midway seemed small, but as we got closer it spread out.
There was only one main street, and it was long and dusty. At the end of town were some cattle pens and such, and near the middle stood the big, fancy hotel that Lee had told Kinrich about. There was also a livery stable, a sheriff’s office, and a doctor’s office.
As we rode in I tried to picture myself living here with Pa and Elliot, but I couldn’t do it. I reckon just too much time had passed.
The first thing we did was to leave our horses at the livery stable.
Kinrich paid for a night’s stay, and then we made our way over to the hotel. Kinrich got us a room, and then, after knocking off some dust, we eased back out onto the street.
There was only one saloon in town, and that’s where Kinrich headed.
I had never been to a saloon, but I couldn’t see how telling Kinrich that would do me any good. So, I kept my mouth shut and followed after him.
We walked inside, and as we stood there waiting for a table I took a look around.
It was a fancy place.
There was a long, mahogany bar on one side, and in the middle was a place for dancing and such. In the back were some pool tables, and behind that was the poker room.
The place was crowded, but we finally got a table near the back.
We must have stood out in the crowd, because everybody looked at us strangely. I reckon Kinrich enjoyed the attention, because he was smiling as we sat down.
After a while a bartender came over to take our drinks.
Kinrich ordered whiskey. The bartender looked at me, and I told him I wanted a glass of cold milk.
“I beg your pardon?” The bartender asked.
“I said a glass of milk would do me just fine,” I told him again.
The bartender glanced at me strangely, and then he looked at Kinrich, who was also looking at me strangely.
“You’ve got milk, don’t you?” I asked him.
“Sure, we’ve got it,” the bartender replied.
“Then what’s the problem?” I asked.
“Nothing sir, nothing at all,” the bartender said, and he hurried off.
I looked at Kinrich, and he was staring at me with his mouth open, as if he was ashamed of me.
“What are you doing?” He asked in a malicious tone.
“What do you mean?” I asked innocently. “All I did was order some milk!”
“You come in here wearing that fancy Colt of yours, and then right in front of everybody you go and order milk. Don’t you realize that everybody in here knows who we are?”
“What’s wrong with ordering milk?” I asked, confused.
“Only youngsters drink milk!” Kinrich said with disgust.
“But I like milk,” I replied. “Besides, I don’t drink. You see, my Pa-.”
Kinrich cut me off.
“No, don’t tell me; I already know,” Kinrich shook his head with disgust. “Your Pa was against it.”
“He was,” I answered tersely. “Pa said that no good ever came from anybody getting drunk, and I believe him.”
“Good for you,” Kinrich replied sourly.
After that we sat there in silence, and when the bartender brought us our drinks Kinrich sighed loudly.
“Next time I’m going to bring somebody else,” he complained.
I was starting to get irritable.
“Well you go ahead and do that, Kinrich. I didn’t want to come here in the first place. This was your idea, not mine.”
“Seeing how you like milk so much, remind me on our way back to the valley and we’ll stop off and get us a milk cow,” Kinrich said, and his voice was thick with sarcasm.
I didn’t reply.
After that we just sat there having drinks. Kinrich drank hard whisky, and despite his disgusted looks, I stuck to milk.
After a bit we ate supper, and it was the best meal I’d had in years.
After that a dance started up, and it wasn’t long until Kinrich was up and dancing.
It seemed like all the girls there wanted to dance with him. As I sat there watching him twirl one girl after another, I figured out that I wasn’t the only one who thought he was a handsome looking feller.
I didn’t dance any, mainly because I didn’t know how. Once a pretty girl came over and asked me, but I quickly told her no. I hadn’t been around girls much, and I found that just talking to one of them made me nervous.
It was then that I suddenly felt a twinge of guilt.
Here I was, an outlaw and a killer, enjoying myself when only four months ago I had killed a good, honest man. The thought made me depressed, and I’m sure I looked gloomy as I sat there.
After a while the dance broke up, and soon afterwards some fellers got together in the back room for a game of poker.
Kinrich was the only person that I had played so far, and the thought of playing somebody else perked me up.
But Kinrich dashed my hopes as soon I walked to the back.
“Get outta here, Button,” he told me roughly right in front of everybody. “This here is a game for grown-ups only. You run along now, and go get yourself another glass of milk.”
I stared hard at Kinrich, but he ignored me as he cut the cards.
I stood there a moment more, hoping he would change his mind, but he never looked back up.
I didn’t want to leave. So, I pulled up a chair in the back and sat down behind Kinrich.
Chap
ter thirty-one
There were six men in the game.
One was Kinrich, and three of the others looked like normal town folks. But the last two were cowboys, and they looked to be mighty tough.
One of them had dark, brown skin with long, black hair that hung down below his shoulders. He wore a buckskin shirt with faded, Union army pants, and the tan moccasins he wore came all the way up to his knees. I also noticed that he wore a six-shooter low and tied down.
Kinrich was watching him closely.
“You a half breed?” Kinrich asked abruptly.
The man turned his dark, black eyes, and stared straight at Kinrich.
“I am,” was all that he said.
Kinrich grinned wickedly.
“Figured as much. A Yankee and an Injun. Now there’s a sight for sore eyes.”
The man turned his body and faced Kinrich squarely.
“You got a problem with that?” He asked.
Kinrich started to answer, but the cowboy that was with the half breed spoke up quickly.
“Come on fellers, please! Let’s just play cards. We don’t want any trouble.”
“Fine by me,” Kinrich said, but his eyes were still on the half breed.
“Sit down, Chino,” the cowboy said firmly.
The man didn’t reply. He seemed to be thinking it over, but finally he shrugged and sat down across from Kinrich.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
The game got started, and it was an interesting game to watch. I was mad at Kinrich for not letting me play, so I rooted for Chino.
Chino was a good player, and after an hour he was the biggest winner, with Kinrich being a close second.
The second hour came and went, and by then two of the town folks had gone broke, and Chino had pulled ahead by quite a bit. Kinrich was starting to get frustrated, but he didn’t say anything.
By the third hour Kinrich was just about broke, and the other cowboy had also been knocked out.
“Let’s take a little break,” Kinrich said as he got up abruptly.
