“As soon as you can, anyway,” Millie said. She rushed to the nearest table and began looking for materials to draft a fresh letter.
The young assistant innkeeper turned on her heels and rushed to find some paper and a pen for Millie. As soon as she brought the items back for her, Millie got to writing.
“I can’t help feeling that I’m a horrible person,” she said mournfully as she wrote.
My darling James,
I pray that you received my last letter and that you are not broken-hearted at the news of my delay. I must inform you, alas, that the snow here has gotten worse and I shan’t be able to join you in Coloma until perhaps the springtime. It is too dangerous to go out of doors when the snow is falling as thick and fast as it has begun to. The trains surely are unable to run in these conditions. I count myself fortunate that I am not stuck somewhere on the rails, unable to keep warm and fed. I am staying at quite a nice inn here in Ogden and the people here have cared for me most kindly.
All of my love and comfort to you in this trying time. Please do not lose faith in me, my love!
Ever yours,
Millie Saxton
She looked down at the letter she’d just written, feverishly as if the words were flowing out of her very soul. It felt odd that she should sign her name ‘Millie Saxton’ when she used her given name with total strangers in this town. Surely Mr. O’Neill knew her well enough to call her by her first name, but still she faltered when it came to it. Much in the same way she still thought of him as ‘Mr. O’Neill.’
Oh, curse that Clyde! She thought, frowning. He’s given me way too much to worry about in this time when I’m so helpless to change anything!
She handed off the letter to Hattie, who likely wasn’t going to be able to do anything with it for a good number of days. As Hattie walked away with the note and a promise of coffee and breakfast cakes, Mrs. Pratt appeared from the opposite direction. She’d been checking on the state of affairs from the front porch.
“I know that this must put a damper on your plans for traveling to California,” she said sympathetically. “But I want you to know that you are very welcome to stay and celebrate Thanksgiving with us. It’s almost here, after all.”
Millie hadn’t even been thinking about the holidays that were indeed fast approaching. Up until this point, she’d only had one concern, and now that that concern wasn’t going to be able to be tended to for quite a long while, she supposed that she really must try and make the best of things. She smiled at Diana. “That’s very kind of you,” she said. “I’d love to celebrate the season with you. And I promise to help out as much as possible, as well. I don’t expect you to make the entire meal yourself. I’ve got two hands and enough skills to be of at least some use to you.”
Diana laughed gaily. “Oh, I’m certain you have plenty of skills. I don’t normally allow guests to strain themselves in such a way, but if you insist, I won’t complain about the extra help.”
Millie giggled. “I don’t mean to argue with you, Mrs. Pratt, but I do insist.”
She wondered how many people would be there for this Thanksgiving feast that they were now planning. Surely all of the people who were currently lodging in the inn. That wasn’t as many as it had been when Millie first arrived, but it was still a rather large number of mouths to feed! Instead of feeling stressed or anxious about it, she was absolutely excited about this new challenge. She hadn’t cooked a big Thanksgiving meal in a long time; not since it had been her turn to help her mother out when she was eleven years old. She knew that she could do it, and do it well!
“I hope you don’t mind, but several other people from town will likely come by for this fete,” Diana added. “It’s my custom to invite all the shopkeepers, etcetera so that no one has to dine all alone.”
Millie knew that she was telling her this because of Clyde. “That’s very sweet of you. And also sweet of you to let me know. I don’t begrudge Mr. Roberts a good, hot meal for Thanksgiving. Or for Christmas, for that matter.”
She hoped that her words sounded sincere. Even if she wasn’t exactly looking forward to being around him again after the mixed-up way he had made her feel, she didn’t want him to be alone during the holidays. What kind of person would she be if she did? Certainly not one worthy of all the generosity that she had received from everyone in the town of Ogden, including Mr. Clyde Roberts.
“The more the merrier,” she added.
Diana smiled at her and nodded. “Lovely. Thank you, Miss Saxton. I didn’t think that it would be a problem, but I wanted to give you a heads up in case it made you want to change your mind.”
She left her there with the coffee and cakes which Hattie brought to her from the kitchen. Millie ruminated as she ate. I suppose it’s possible to spend more time with Clyde and be friendly towards him, so long as he understands that I must continue on my way once the ice melts and the snow clears from the ground.
Chapter 8
Millie took to her duties as Thanksgiving helper with great aplomb. She found that she could be just as excited about cooking as she was about making garments. This feeling only grew when she was at last introduced to Diana’s mother, Mrs. Cooke.
“Oh, my dear, you are a natural,” the older woman enthused upon meeting her in the midst of the younger ladies baking their fourth pie.
Millie beamed proudly at Mrs. Cooke, a smudge of flour on her right cheek making her look even more like that of a professional in the field of cookery. “That’s awfully nice of you to say, but I must admit, I haven’t actually cooked in a long while. Especially not like this.”
“Well just your enthusiasm alone could have fooled me,” Mrs. Cooke replied merrily. She jumped right in to help them with their latest pie – a mixed berry concoction that Millie had suggested after noting how many berry bushes had grown in the yard out back.
“They don’t all need to be apple, after all,” she had pointed out.
“Too right,” Diana had agreed.
Besides Mrs. Cooke, Diana and Millie, Hattie was there in the kitchen to help out, along with her sister Zelda. The kitchen wasn’t the biggest, but it was full of smiles and teamwork so it never felt cramped.
“I can’t explain to you ladies adequately how happy this makes me,” Millie said once the fourth pie was in the oven. “Growing up, I was the only girl in a family with five children. In New York, I only had a few friends that I would consider close and we never participated in activities like this. We mostly saw each other at work in the factory.”
“I could never imagine not cooking with my sisters,” Hattie said. “Even when I was very young, we bonded over times like this.”
Zelda made a face at her. “Well, not when you were very young,” she teased. “When you were very young, you would dip a spoon in things and then run around the house with a spoon full of chocolate and the like!”
They all giggled together.
“She helped keep you on our toes,” Mrs. Cooke said with a wink.
“It’s not good to be on your toes when carrying hot dishes!” Zelda replied with another laugh.
Millie smiled at Zelda and Hattie. “Still, I am envious. Please don’t take those times for granted. This shall always be a treasured memory of mine now, no matter where life takes me next.”
“Aww!” Diana cooed. They all came together, wrapping their arms around each other in a big group hug.
This was exactly how Millie had always wanted her Thanksgivings as an independent adult lady to be: warm and surrounded by good friends.
It was just a shame, to think about how this was all going to have to end at some point. She surely couldn’t stay in Ogden forever. She was needed elsewhere, by someone who needed her cooking skills, too.
Cooking the entire meal took over a day, when they factored in all of the things that had to sit out overnight to cool, such as the pies. By the time Thanksgiving actually arrived, Millie was exhausted but looking forward to seeing the reaction on people’s faces when th
ey tasted the food that she played a part in cooking.
The living room was converted into what was essentially a restaurant. The sofas and wing chairs were all replaced with wooden tables like the one Millie found herself occupying in front of the fireplace on more than one occasion. She sat at a table of high honor, with Hattie and Diana. She knew that this was largely because she had played a hand in cooking the meal, but it still gave her a warm and fuzzy feeling to feel like an honored member of the family. Diana hadn’t been kidding when she told her that she wanted her to be included in their holiday festivities but this was even better than Millie could ever have imagined.
As they were just sitting down at their head table and Mr. Aaron Pratt was about to make a toast, the front door burst open. Wind and snow flew into the house, along with one Mr. Clyde Roberts. There was tension at first, but it soon dissipated as people realized that this visitor was none other than the town’s most trusted metalsmith.
“I beg your pardon for my intrusion,” he told the waiting crowd of people, hurriedly closing the door behind him and stopping the rush of cold air and ice. “I closed up shop this morning and had quite a time getting here for this fine-smelling feast.” He took off his hat and coat, placing them on the nearby wooden rack.
“No need to apologize, Mr. Roberts,” Diana said kindly. “We are glad to have you here and I’m so sorry to hear that you were caught up in the snow.”
“We can help you get back tonight, if you would like?” Hattie offered.
“Don’t be silly,” Aaron Pratt said. “We have more than enough spare room in this house, Mr. Roberts. Please stay here, at least until this latest storm has passed. The holidays are no time to send anyone out in the cold.”
Millie felt something form at the pit of her stomach. At first, it seemed like it might be ire at seeing the man again, but then she realized that it was something else. Could it be pleasure at seeing him, and learning that he would be staying for a while? This would give them the time to get to know each other that he – and, she now admitted, she – had been hoping for.
“I wouldn’t want to intrude further,” Clyde said gallantly, smiling a sheepish sort of smile. “I’ve interrupted your Thanksgiving enough as it is…”
Millie rose from her chair, feeling bolstered by the good will of the others in the room. “Nonsense,” she said, noticing Diana’s approving smile out of the corner of her eye. “You were invited here. We want you to be here with us.”
This was met with shouts of “here here” and gentle pounding of mugs on tables.
Clyde laughed. “Well, all right then, if you insist. But might I request a seat at your table, Miss Saxton?”
She blushed. “Only if you call me Millie instead.”
Smiling in his appealing and intriguing sort of way, he came into the room and met her at her table, bowing when he was beside her before sitting down in the unoccupied chair at her side.
Millie didn’t think that it would quite matter to Clyde what she was wearing, but she was pleased all the same that she had chosen to wear a pretty deep green, velvet dress. The bodice of it really showed off her curves in a way that a lot of her cotton frocks could never achieve. She’d chosen only the best gown for this special occasion. Of course, now she was wondering what she was supposed to do about her Christmas attire! You’re being silly now, she told herself. Behaving like such a girl when he doesn’t seem to care one fig what you’re wearing so long as you look pleasant.
Clyde hadn’t quite bothered to dress for the occasion the way she had taken pains to. He was dressed in black pants and white shirt, and outfit that was similar, if not exactly the same, to the one he had worn the day they met. Nevertheless, he wasn’t wearing the black apron and for that Millie was glad. She thought she might be confused if he had shown up wearing a three-piece suit. Such a look would do nicely on him, but it didn’t seem to match his Western character. It was this very character that Millie found especially appealing about him. He was unlike any gentleman she had ever met.
Well, she thought, not including Glenn. But he’s more a gentleman-in-training. She smiled at the teenaged boy. He was sitting a ways across the room from her, at a table occupied by all of the younger farmhands and other such assistants.
“So, how have you been since we last crossed paths?” Clyde asked her, smiling before taking a careful sip of his water. “You didn’t seem to like me much when I last saw you.”
Millie blushed, embarrassed about that last meeting still. “A lot of things were said in that meeting that I wish hadn’t been, or had at least been phrased differently. I’d been feeling so stuck and unsure about things, as you are well aware.”
“Sure,” he conceded. “And how are you feeling now? You seem to be enjoying the part of partial-hostess.”
She was quite glad that the room was buzzing with many conversations. Glancing over at Diana, she found her lost in chatter with her husband and her brother-in-law. No one was paying any attention to Miss Saxton and the good blacksmith. All of the perceived intrigue into her personal life was imagined, and Millie felt both relieved and as if she must be so conceited to have ever thought…
“I hope I do not offend you,” he went on when she didn’t say anything. “I know that sometimes my wording can be a bit harsher than I intend.”
“You don’t offend me,” Millie replied. “Your words may have been difficult to hear at first, but I think it was more because they struck me as perhaps being too on the nose for me to handle at the time.”
Clyde blinked at her, startled to hear her say this. Startled but not displeased. He smiled. “I never intended to hurt you. Please forgive me for any upset that I might have caused. I only meant… Well, you know. I think I made my opinion known already.”
Millie looked down at the bit of turkey, carrots and potatoes on her plate. She sighed a little, hoping to perhaps clear away this subject with his apology. “I forgive you,” she said, giving him a small but sincere smile. “I’ve since written to inform my would-be groom of my delay here. I have yet to mention any further thoughts on the matter to him, and I plan to keep it that way. This town is lovely and I enjoy spending time with all of you, but I cannot go back on my promise to James. He trusted me. We made an arrangement and he paid for me to come be with him in California. As much as I don’t want to leave this place and travel to yet another small town to which I must grow accustomed, I am not the sort of person to break an agreement. Do you understand?”
Clyde appeared startled to hear this. “I had hoped that your zeal this evening might be due to a change of heart on the matter. Now I see that I was wrong to think that… Just answer me one thing.”
Millie took a bite of her turkey and swallowed it down with some water. She was regretting their proximity now. Would he not take no for an answer?! “Yes? What is it?”
Clyde looked into her eyes and then leaned in closer to her, so no one would eavesdrop on their delicate conversation. “Do you love that man?”
She reddened. “I already told you, I promised myself to him.”
“But do you love him?” he persisted. “It’s all well and good to make a promise in a letter on paper, but do you actually love him? Or is this more an obligation than something you are passionate about?”
Millie pouted at him. She felt more than a little scandalized. Were they not amongst friendly, joyous company she might have worked up the nerve to throw her water in his face. And yet…
She didn’t have a good answer to his question. She wasn’t in the habit of lying just to try and save face. “I don’t know,” she said after some time. “He wrote an advertisement professing to be in desperate need of a wife, and I answered his plea. Surely, he cares about me, because he has been writing to me for all this time. And he paid for this trip, which has been one of the most momentous events of my life so far.”
Clyde nodded slowly. “But if you do not love him, might you be entering into an agreement falsely? And, putting aside his feelings,
how do you feel about being married to a gentleman whom you might feel nothing for?”
Millie’s cheeks still burned with both frustration and indignation. “And you think I would instead feel something for you?”
“Can you honestly tell me, that even at this early juncture, you don’t?”
If she had been feeling stuck before, she was completely lost now. Setting down her silverware on the table beside her plate, Millie rose from the table. She turned to look at Diana and Hattie. “It seems that I have become rather dizzy,” she fibbed. “If you’ll please excuse me, I’m going to step out onto the porch for some air.”
Diana looked deeply concerned. “Are you sure that’s the best idea right now? It’s frightfully cold outside.”
“I’ll put on the cozy coat that you’ve lent me,” Millie said. She went to the rack by the door and pulled out the fur-lined coat. Mrs. Cooke gave it a look of recognition, but said nothing.
Millie didn’t care if it was cold outside. Being in that house right now, with that man, was absolutely stifling.
Chapter 9
Standing on the wide front porch of the Pratts’ residence, Millie wrapped the fur coat around herself. Though the coat was warm, the velvet dress she wore wasn’t helping her fend off the cold very well. She gazed over into the distance, watching as white flecks of ice blew around in all directions. There didn’t appear to be any grass or road to speak of. All outside was white.
There really wasn’t any purpose to her being outside and now that Millie was there, shivering away, she wondered what her point had been. All she had intended to do was to get away from Clyde Roberts. But she could have just as well escaped to her bedroom.
Perhaps I should have just stayed inside and told him ‘no’ right to his face. That would have shown him. But even the thought of telling him ‘no’ didn’t ring true to her. The question had been a bold one, and of course she didn’t know Clyde Roberts well enough to think of him in that way, but she couldn’t deny that she was captivated by him. She didn’t want to lie to him about something as important as this felt to her. Ugh, what does it matter? She thought miserably. It’s not as if I’m staying here. Why should I settle for this town when California is the place that I have been dreaming about for months?
Annie: A Bride For The Farmhand - A Clean Historical Western Romance (Stewart House Brides Book 3) Page 24
