“Yes, of course,” he replied, though the last thing he wanted at the moment was a conversation. Was she going to inform him that she intended to annul their marriage and return home? Would she inquire about his intentions for their relationship as husband and wife? Would she grill him about the unexpected presence of his son? Though he should have been prepared for any one of them, when she hadn’t broached the topics the night prior, he had hoped to put off the battle this morning—at least until he’d had his morning coffee.
“Why did you not tell me you had a son?” she asked softly, though there was none of the accusation in her tone that he would have expected.
“I did not lie to you about Adam. I simply failed to mention him in our communications.” An omission of this magnitude was just as severe as a lie, but it seemed his plan was to emphasize the difference.
“That is true.”
That was it? No woman would accept such a pathetic shell of an excuse unless…she could understand all too well one’s motivations for lies and omissions. Tessa was definitely hiding something of her own. As much as he couldn’t help but to wonder what secret the fiery beauty was keeping, he wouldn’t ask, at least not yet. He’d expected a thorough inquisition, if not an outright battle, over Adam. He would consider himself lucky to have avoided it, and leave it at that. There was, however, one topic he felt compelled to discuss—for his own best interest as well as hers.
“Tessa, now that you know about Adam, I believe there is one more thing you should know.”
She looked up at him and nodded, waiting expectantly, but he could see the connections she was making by the look in her eyes. She was most certainly intelligent, and that pleased him far more than he was willing to admit, and it wasn’t the time for such observations even if he was.
At the moment, there was no point in being anything but blunt. He owed her that much. “I haven’t any need for a wife; I have need for a mother for my son.”
“As you wish, Mr. Knight,” she replied more quickly than he’d expected, but he could see the shock of both pain and relief in her gaze, though she worked to cover up the emotions in her expressive eyes. “If you’d be kind enough to tell me what is expected, I believe I will prove to be a worthwhile caregiver for your son.”
And so it was done. He’d acquired the caretaker he’d been seeking for Adam. He should be elated, so why did it feel as if he’d just suffered a crushing defeat?
Chapter 5
“Well, Adam, what do you suppose we do all day?” she asked the child as he finished his breakfast. The impish grin he replied with gave her the impression he’d have no trouble keeping her busy from dawn to dusk.
And her impression had been correct. The energetic four-year-old proceeded to introduce Mary to every nook and cranny within the house, and then gave her a tour of the property. He was an honest youngster—she had to give him that. He spent the entire time explaining to her all the things he was not permitted to do. Like when he struggled hard to open the barn door and walked inside, all the while explaining to her he wasn’t allowed in the barn. Or when he introduced her to the small garden behind the house by picking a handful of flowers for her—which, he told her, he was definitely not allowed to do.
If she was going to be responsible for caring for the child, she’d have to explain to him that rules would have to be followed in her care as well as his father’s, but given that it was their first day together, she supposed a few leniencies weren’t uncalled for.
And by the time the day had run its course, it seemed Adam had tired of his mischievous adventures, and was quite content to follow along behind her as he recanted stories of his life since arriving in California. The best she could figure from Adam’s descriptions, he and Caleb had only been in California for a little over a year. And even more surprising, Adam hadn’t lived with Caleb for much longer than that. Apparently, he’d lived with Caleb’s parents prior to that, but he couldn’t recall much from those early years. Interesting information, nevertheless.
She wondered if he’d been a soldier in the war, but then, he’d never said anything to that effect in his letters. If not the war, then where had he gone off to? By the flippant way he seemed comfortable leaving Adam in her care, she’d presume he didn’t care much for the child, but the look she saw in his eyes told her otherwise.
“Good evening,” a deep voice startled her from behind just as she and Adam were settling down for dinner.
“Father!” Adam squealed and zoomed across the room into Caleb’s outstretched arms. Yes, he definitely cared a great deal for the boy.
She hadn’t been certain whether he’d return in time for the meal or not. She supposed it was a good thing she’d decided to plan on his presence there just in case. “We were just sitting down to dinner,” she announced, rather unnecessarily, but she’d felt compelled to say something as he’d stood up straight and his gaze settled directly on her. It was strange; none of the men her uncle had encouraged to come calling ever did this to her—making her glaringly aware of his nearness and painfully attuned to the effect it had on her.
He nodded, holding her gaze a moment longer before taking his place at the table. “Did the two of you have a successful day together?” he asked in her direction, but Adam was quick to jump in.
“Yes, we did. We did have a succ-ess-ful first day together,” he enunciated carefully. “Miss Tessa knows all the things I’m not allowed to do.”
“Does she, now?” Caleb replied with a mischievous grin. No doubt, the father knew exactly how Adam had explained all the rules to her.
Adam proceeded to recount the day’s activities, careful to leave out their trip to the barn and the flowers he’d picked from the garden.
“I’ll be along to help you with your prayers in a few minutes,” Caleb told his son as Adam got down from the table.
The dining room grew quiet once the boy had left. “I should go see to Adam,” Caleb spoke up after a moment of silence. He sighed as he placed his hands against the table and prepared to heave himself upright.
“I could…I mean, if it’s too much of an imposition then certainly not…”
“Would you like to say goodnight to Adam, Tessa?” he asked softly, settling himself back in his chair and looking at her strangely.
She nodded and left the room quickly, though she could feel Caleb’s gaze on her with every step.
“I got started already,” Adam told her as she opened the door to his room. “But you can come help me,” he told her, looking very serious.
She nodded and knelt next to him at the side of the bed. She clasped her hands in front of her and closed her eyes, waiting for him to continue, which he did just seconds later with great aplomb.
“May God bless my father, and my grandmother, and my grandfather, and the dog that used to run down their street…and the animals in the barn…and the flower garden behind the house ‘cause I picked some flowers from it when I wasn’t s’posed to. And may God bless the cat I play with sometimes, and Mr. Tuttle who works for Father, and his horse ‘cause it was sick. And may God bless Miss Tessa ‘cause I think she’s really nice.”
He crawled up into bed then and looked up at her expectantly. Adam had just included her in his prayers. Why the kind gesture had overwhelmed her, she didn’t know, but she struggled to swallow against the lump in her throat and blinked back the tears in her eyes.
“Are you going to tuck me in, Miss Tessa?” he asked expectantly.
“Yes, of course.” She pulled up the thick, plush cover from the foot of the bed and tucked it around his small body. He smiled contentedly.
“Do…do you know any songs?” he asked nervously. “If you don’t, that’s all right,” he added quickly.
“I know the lullaby my mother used to sing to me when I was your age.”
“Yes. Yes, please!” he shouted eagerly.
It was the same lullaby she sang to the men at the hospital who were scared or in pain. Her voice wasn’t quite as beautifu
l as she remembered her mother’s being, but it seemed to help soothe her patients, nonetheless.
Her mother’s face flashed behind her eyes as she began to sing, and then the face of that first wounded soldier she’d met her first day as a nurse. And then the soldier she thought of most often. And then a plethora of other faces, each of them sad, or scared, or hurt, but she’d determined to commit every one of them to memory. Unfortunately, they often appeared at times when she most wished they’d stay away.
Tears gathered in her eyes, but she continued to sing, stroking the young boy’s hair. He snuggled deeper into his covers and sighed contentedly. By the time she was finished, the gentle rise and fall of Adam’s small chest told her he was fast asleep. She smiled through her tears, brushing them away as they welled over and trickled down her cheeks. She leaned in slowly to avoid disturbing the mattress and laid a gentle kiss on the boy’s forehead.
“I’m glad you’re here, Miss Tessa. I think God has answered my prayer,” he whispered sleepily.
She stood watching him for another moment and then backed toward the door slowly, but as she turned to leave, she ran straight into the solid wall of Caleb’s chest. Her hands flew to her mouth quickly to stifle her cry of surprise.
“You’re very good with him,” he observed in that same gentle tone he always seemed to use when he was talking about his son.
But he was looking directly at her, his eyes searching hers for… something. She’d looked down in a hurry, but knew there was no way he hadn’t caught sight of the tears in her eyes or those streaming down her cheeks.
She’d never cried in front of another person before; not after her parents died, or her first patient, or the countless number of men who died in her care after. Always, she would hold back her tears until she was alone.
“If you’ll excuse me, Mr. Knight,” she whispered as steadily as she could and flew past him. Fortunately, she only had to make it a few steps away, throwing open the door to his…her bedroom and closing it behind her.
She leaned back against the door, looking towards the ceiling as she forced her lungs to take slow, steady breaths. Just as she’d managed to get her breathing back under control, a knock sounded on the door behind her. She wiped her cheeks and opened the door, because what else could she do?
“I hadn’t meant to upset you, Tessa,” Caleb told her the moment the door was open, obviously thinking he’d been responsible for her watery state. “I had only intended to pay you a compliment.”
“Yes, I know that. Thank you. Adam is a very easy boy to care for. You did nothing to upset me.” She fidgeted beneath his gaze, waiting impatiently for him to leave, but he didn’t. He continued to stand there outside the door. “Is there anything else I can do for you, Mr. Knight?”
“Well, for starters, you can start calling me Caleb. Given that we’re married now, I believe it is more than acceptable.”
“Are we?” she asked softly before she could stop herself.
He opened his mouth to reply, but snapped it closed without making a sound. He stood there for another moment, his eyes boring into hers while she tried to figure out what it was he was thinking. And then she watched as something changed. Where there’d been gentleness and concern in his gaze a moment prior, now there was none of it. In fact, there was nothing. It was like he’d erected a solid wall between them, and she knew right then he wasn’t going to provide her with an answer.
“Yes, well, it’s been another very long day. I believe I’ll turn in now. Good night, Tessa.” He turned and left, just as he had the night prior.
She didn’t know much about Caleb Knight, but what she did know was the man’s demeanor changed so quickly and so often, whiplash would be inevitable in her near future if she tried to keep up.
Chapter 6
Caleb was awake before the sun the next morning, and the handful of mornings after that, pacing across Adam’s bedroom floor. This wasn’t going well. It wasn’t going at all like he’d intended. Sure, Adam had taken to her right away, and she seemed to genuinely enjoy Adam’s presence. That was all well and good, but he wasn’t supposed to give a darn whether or not she had tears in her eyes singing his son a lullaby. And he certainly shouldn’t have had any reason to hesitate when she’d asked about their…relationship.
He should have been straight with her, just as he’d been before. Instead of using it as an opportunity to reinforce what it was he wanted, he’d held the words on the tip of his tongue. And not only could he not force the words out, he hadn’t been able to focus on anything but her full, rosy lips and the way her green eyes sparkled through her tears. He’d been determined to keep Tessa at an arm’s length, but truth be told, he’d never wanted to fail at something so badly in his life.
He crept out of his son’s room, knowing that if he kept pacing back and forth across the floor, Adam would be awake in no time. Intending to ruminate in silence, he sauntered into the dining room only to find Tessa there already, sipping a cup of coffee. She was the first woman he’d met who actually preferred the bitter brew over tea. It should make her seem somehow more masculine to him, but instead, it only heightened his interest, making him wonder what other idiosyncrasies made up the woman.
“Good morning, Caleb,” she greeted him in a cheery, lilting tone. “I wasn’t certain what time you’d be up, so I brewed a full pot of coffee if you’d like a cup.”
She was offering him coffee? He’d kept himself guarded the past several days, crossing paths with her as seldom as possible, and here she was offering him coffee? Certainly nothing like his first wife who would never have dreamed of doing even a small favor for him without something to gain from it.
“I appreciate it, but please don’t get up. I can see to a cup of coffee.”
He retrieved a cup and poured the brew, passing on the sugar and cream she’d brought to the table. He’d gotten used to drinking it black over the years, and was just glad it tasted like coffee and not sludge.
“I was wondering if I might expand the small garden in the back, if that’s alright with you,” she asked as he took a seat next to her, pushing his chair back to keep some distance between them. “Adam seems quite enthralled with it, and I thought he might enjoy seeing the fruits of his own labor once the new plants start to grow.”
“Yes, of course.” What else could he say?
“The house is lovely. I never imagined a house in the west could appear so welcoming. I think you must have done a fine job transforming it into a home for Adam.”
He thought over the things he’d done to change the building since he’d arrived, predominantly small touches he could recall from his own childhood as aspects that had warmed his family’s home. “Thank you. I hope Adam feels the same way.”
“Oh, I’m sure he does. He idolizes you, you know.”
“Is that so? I hardly think—”
“No, it’s true. Every other sentence out of his mouth is something you’ve told him, a skill you’ve taught him…you speak nothing but words of wisdom in his mind.”
“I’m sure you’re reading too much into it, but thank you for the compliment, nevertheless.”
He’d never really considered how Adam felt about him. He’d spent so much time trying to keep him safe and making up for all the time he’d missed that he hadn’t stopped to take stock of what kind of job he’d been doing as a father. As much as he hated to admit it, for the first time, Tessa made him feel that he might have some hope of becoming a worthy father to his son.
“Good morning, Father,” Adam greeted sleepily as he wobbled into the dining room and wrapped his arms around him in a morning hug.
“Good morning, Adam,” he greeted in return and hugged him tightly.
Adam continued on then, walking the few steps further to Tessa and wrapping his little arms around her neck. “Good morning, Miss Tessa,” he greeted her just as easily.
“Good morning, Darling,” she whispered as she hugged him back, a look of awe brightening her eyes and p
arting her lips.
Wow. Just like that, she’d found her way into Adam’s heart. It should have been a relief, but it wasn’t. If she’d gotten to Adam so quickly, how much longer would it be before she’d worked her way into Caleb’s heart as well?
“I have a long day ahead of me, so I’m going to head out early. Be good, Adam,” he warned lightly. A quick nod to Tessa as he rose from the table and then he was out of the room in a flash.
But no matter how much distance he put between them, she remained on his mind the entire day. A battle waged in his head, making it difficult to concentrate on anything but the beautiful woman in his home.
And worse, as the day wore on, something else threatened to drive him to distraction. He wanted to be home. He wanted the day to be over so he could see her again, hear her soft voice, breathe in the scent of jasmine that seemed to follow her everywhere she went. He wanted to watch her lips as she spoke his name, and see the light in her crystal eyes when he came near. He wanted…his wife.
But maybe that wasn’t what had him rushing through his day so he could hurry back home. For several days, he had left Adam alone with a veritable stranger. And though the boy had taken to her well, there was no guarantee he’d made the right decision for Adam in choosing Tessa as his bride. So, of course he was anxious to get home—just to make sure Adam was faring well in her care.
A full two hours early, he called it a day, almost convinced that it was his concern over Tessa’s suitability as a caregiver that had him riding home at a near-breakneck speed.
And there they were, behind the house, elbow-deep in dirt in the small garden. Strangely, he didn’t breathe a sigh of relief when he saw them there; it was as if he hadn’t truly been worried that Tessa might have been an unsuitable choice. But he was already home now so he saw no need to analyze his motives any further. Instead, he stood there watching as the two of them dug holes and planted seeds and tiny seedlings in the dirt. She spoke to Adam the entire time, but Caleb was far enough away that he couldn’t make out the words; only the soft, lilting sound of her voice. She smiled, and Adam smiled, and when she swiped at a blob of dirt on the boy’s nose, he scrunched up his face and squealed with delight while she laughed so hard he saw tears in her eyes.
Annie: A Bride For The Farmhand - A Clean Historical Western Romance (Stewart House Brides Book 3) Page 31
