by Dianne Drake
Priscilla winked at Carrie. “Jackie seems to think he knows what’s best for me. Always has. Most of the time I just indulge him. It makes him feel better.”
“Then indulge me now,” Jack said. “Just say yes, and by the time I get you out of the hospital, I’ll have a room ready for you.”
“And my cats?” She looked up at Carrie again. “See, that’s the question I always ask him when he brings it up, because he won’t take the cats, and I won’t go without them. So this is where he shuts up about moving me and gets back to business.”
“This time, back to business means...” He waved an IV catheter at her.
“You’re not sticking that in me,” Priscilla warned him.
“If I have to tie you down, I will,” he said, pointing to the pillow at the head of her bed. “Now, jacket off, feet up, head where it belongs. And stick out your arm.”
“Don’t trust you as far as I can see you,” she grumbled, doing exactly what he said. “Never have.” She looked at Carrie. “No compassion for his elders,” she said.
Except compassion was all Carrie saw. It was touching, and sweet. Sweet—a word she was sure he wouldn’t like attached to him. But he was, and it was lovely to watch. He loved his grandmother dearly, and it showed in everything he was doing. It especially showed in the worry written all over his face. And seeing that worry—she fell in love a little bit. Not in the happily-ever-after sense, but in the sense that Jack had qualities she’d never seen in any of the men in her life, and she loved seeing them in him. Loved knowing a gentler side than she’d ever seen in another man—not that there’d ever been a significant man in her life, because there hadn’t been. But the ones she’d known—users, for the most part. Not Jack, though. She could tell he was a giver.
She’d never had that in her life, never had someone love her the way Priscilla loved Jack either. Or the way Jack loved Priscilla. It was nice. Gave her hope that it might be out there for her, someday.
* * *
There was something about this place—all the time he’d spent here growing up, the things his grandmother had taught him here, bringing Evangeline and Alice here... Priscilla had loved Alice deeply and dearly. They’d had a special bond. The same bond he’d shared with his grandmother when he’d been Alice’s age. Walks through her garden, fresh-baked chocolate-chip cookies, and the stories... Nobody told better stories than Priscilla and he could almost see Alice and Priscilla sitting together on the floor, Alice’s brown Salish eyes wide with amazement as Priscilla told the tales of her childhood, or her own adventures in Saka’am, when she’d go to visit friends. It hurt. All of it hurt now. The memories. And images. He wanted them back the way they used to be, not the way they were now.
Except he couldn’t have that because everything was shrouded in grief and sorrow. That picture of Alice—the one where she and Priscilla were wading in the stream, drenched from a spill or two, looking all sloppy and wet and happy—Jack knew his grandmother had put it away because he couldn’t bear to look at it. Because it broke his heart when he did. And that afghan Evangeline had spent months crocheting—nowhere to be seen. Bits and pieces of his past all tucked away so he wouldn’t be reminded, but everything reminded him. Dragged him back to those days. To his wife. Especially to his daughter. “Oh, I have compassion,” he finally said in response. “I save it up for those who deserve it.”
“And I don’t deserve it?” Priscilla asked, pretending to be outraged.
“What you deserve is for me to come in here, throw you over my shoulder, and carry you down that mountain, like it or not.”
“Not,” Priscilla practically shouted. “And I’ll have you arrested—”
“You know, every family has one—the crazy relative nobody talks about,” he said to Carrie as he gave his grandmother’s hand a squeeze, once the IV was in place. “Well, this is the one who belongs to my family.” He bent and kissed Priscilla’s cheek.
“Never had a family, so never had the pleasure,” she told him.
Priscilla laughed, and reached over to pat Jack’s hand. “Well, my Jackie here is available. I’d die a happy woman if he could find someone again.”
Again? Carrie raised her eyebrows, but didn’t ask, much to Jack’s relief. “Except you’re not going to die,” Jack reassured her, as a telltale red started creeping from his neck to his face. He didn’t talk about Evangeline. Or Alice. Ever. And people who knew him knew better than to speak of her. “And I’m not looking to find someone. So, no more talking. I want you to save your energy for the trip back to Sinclair.”
“I know why you don’t want me talking, Jackie, and it has nothing to do with going to Sinclair. But I’ll cooperate.” With that, she pretend-zipped her lips, lay back into her pillows and shut her eyes.
“She’s pouting,” Jack said to Carrie, the red still evident. “Thinks it gains her some sympathy.”
“Well, I’m sympathetic.” Carrie sat down on the other side of the bed, then took Priscilla’s hand. “And for your information, Jack, I like your grandmother. I like her spunk and her attitude. You’re a lucky man to have her.”
“That’s what I keep telling him,” Priscilla interjected, opening her eyes. “So, when do we ride, Jackie? Because if I must do this, I want to get it over with so I can get back home to my cats.”
“Soon, Priscilla,” he said, feeling as helpless as he had the night his wife and daughter had died. Helpless, angry, and damned ready to kick in that wall. “Got a couple of people on the way up right now to help carry you out.”
“You can’t carry me?” she asked, her voice weakening.
“Too dangerous. Carrie’s not experienced on the mountain, and I can’t do it by myself...”
“He climbs like a mountain goat. Did he tell you that, Carrie? Jackie climbs like he was born on the side of a mountain. Taught him everything he knows about it.”
“You climbed?” Carrie asked her.
“Up until the arthritis got me a few years back. In fact, Jackie and I had a lot of good times together. He was a natural on the ropes. Liked to free-climb, too. Not me, though. I was always a little more cautious. So, do you climb at all, Carrie?”
“Never have. But I’m going to learn.”
“Good for you,” Priscilla closed her eyes again, this time finally succumbing to exhaustion. “Jackie likes his women strong. Likes ’em keeping up with him.”
“But I’m not—” she started to protest, then stopped. No point. Priscilla was sound asleep, her head leaning on Jack’s shoulder, and Jack’s arm around her, supporting her.
“She’s one tough old bird,” Jack said affectionately, as he took her pulse.
“A tough old bird who taught you how to rock climb.” Carrie broke away from Priscilla to check the drip of the IV.
“That, and other wilderness survival skills. She’s been a midwife of sorts for more than fifty years. There probably isn’t a mountain within forty miles of here she hasn’t climbed at one time or another, trying to help in a medical situation. People around here trust her, probably more than they’ve ever trusted my mom and me, and we’re both doctors.” Probably a whole lot more than he’d trusted himself as, for the past five years, he hadn’t had a lot of that going on.
* * *
The trip down the mountain wasn’t as bad as he’d anticipated. Help had arrived, they’d carried Priscilla to his truck, and while the ride to the hospital was interminably long due to road conditions and safety concerns, three hours after getting to his grandmother, she was safely tucked into a hospital bed, with an IV drip in her arm and heart monitor leads stuck to her chest, fussing that she was feeling fine and she wanted to go home to her cats.
“She’s stubborn,” Carrie commented, as she passed by Jack, who was seated in the chair across from Priscilla’s bed, on her way to fill the bedside pitcher with water.
“And proud of it,”
Priscilla said, even though her eyes were closed.
Jack glanced up at the heart monitor over her bed, glad it was reading normal. Glad that Carrie had been there to help him through this. But, most of all, glad that Carrie had met his every expectation of her as a medic. He didn’t always have a lot of patience with the people who worked with him. They were too slow to suit him. Or, didn’t have a technique or bedside manner he liked. But Carrie had been...perfect. She’d known exactly what to say, and do. And, most of all, she’d gained his grandmother’s trust, which wasn’t an easy thing to do, as Priscilla hated modern medicine. “Aren’t you supposed to be sleeping, old woman?” he asked, his eyes stuck on Carrie as she carried the water back to the bedside stand.
“How am I supposed to sleep when you’re hovering over me the way you are?”
“I’m not hovering,” he said, giving Carrie a wink. “I’m just being a good doctor and watching over my patient.”
“Which is the same thing as hovering. So, go hover somewhere else.” She opened her eyes, reached over and squeezed Carrie’s hand. “And you, young lady, look like you could do with some sleep.”
“So she gets to sleep while I have to go hover?” Jack asked, as he pushed himself to his feet, then walked over to the bed. He bent over and kissed Priscilla on the cheek. “You take care of yourself tonight, Priscilla,” he said. “And call me if you need anything. I’m ten minutes away.”
“I’m fine, Jackie,” she said. “Just had a little scare.”
“Which gave me a big scare. Now—sleep.” With that, he took hold of Carrie’s hand and led her from the room. Once in the hall, he slumped against the wall, shut his eyes and simply stood there for a minute before he said anything. “If anything happened to her, I don’t know what...” He opened his eyes and stopped. He was revealing too much of himself. He’d almost allowed Carrie into places no one was allowed. But she was easy to talk to, to be around. Which meant, he was going to have to be more careful. “Look, Carrie. I appreciate you going out there with me. Priscilla can be difficult at times, and the way you were with her...again, I appreciate it.”
“Why do you call her Priscilla, and not Grandmother or Grandma?” she asked.
He chuckled. “When I was young, she made me call her Mrs. Anderson. Said it was all about proper respect. It wasn’t until I was about fourteen or fifteen that she let me call her by her first name. She said I’d earned that right.” Carrie had earned that right immediately. He was impressed, as Priscilla was a hard person to reach out to. But Carrie had reached out and touched. Which made him feel...good. Yes, he felt very, very good about Carrie. Maybe that even went a little beyond her medical skills. He felt good about her in general.
Chapter Three
“NO, I’M FINE,” Carrie said, trying to ignore the well-intentioned nurse who’d decided to take Carrie under her wing and turn her into a happy woman. Got to be married, got to be in a relationship. That was all she’d heard from Georgia Hobbs since her first day on the job. This was day five now, and Georgia hadn’t given up. She had an available nephew. A son. And a next-door neighbor’s son. All of them just looking for someone.
“I appreciate your invitation, but I’ve got to study tomorrow evening, to get myself ready for my class.”
Besides, she didn’t feel like trying to be social with someone she didn’t know and didn’t seem to have anything in common with other than work. So, while Carrie was grateful for the invitation to dinner, she simply wasn’t interested in what was being offered. She didn’t date. Didn’t want to get back in the habit again. At least, not now. Not when there were more important things in her future.
Georgia blew out a frustrated breath. “Do you even know anybody here in Marrell?”
She knew Jack a little bit. In the few days she’d been here, they’d had a casual coffee once. And joined in with a group from the hospital who’d gone out for a beer after work. But that was all, and it was fine. It worked. They were friendly, but not friends. “I don’t really have time,” she said, trying to edge her way out of the entrance door and find a place to hide in the storage room, or anyplace else Georgia might not be so inclined to look for her.
“We’re going into winter pretty soon, and it can get depressing if you’re here all by yourself. No friends. No one to go out and grab a pizza with. You start feeling...shut in.”
She’d spent a lifetime feeling shut in, in one way or another. Why should this be any different? “I’m really not interested,” Carrie emphasized, then sidestepped away from the entry, hoping Georgia wouldn’t follow. But she did. And persisted.
“I was a stranger here once, Carrie. I know what it’s like being alone in a new place.”
“I’ve been on my own for a long time, Georgia.” That was why she took on independence with a vengeance. She didn’t want to depend on somebody else for her life. There was no stability in that and, above all, Carrie wanted stability. Or, at least, a little piece of it. “And while I appreciate your concern, there’s nothing to be concerned about. Like I said, I’m fine.”
“Well, in case you change your mind...” Georgia shook her head, not so much annoyed as perplexed. “Just let me know. Promise?”
“Promise,” Carrie said grudgingly, then turned and almost ran toward the supply closet, where she stepped inside, shut the door behind her, and leaned against the door. At least in Chicago no one had bothered her. No one had cared. No one had come after her, trying to fix her. As if being single was something to fix. She was fine as she was. Well suited for her life. Steeled against the pain and disappointment of getting too close, only to be rejected.
And, she wasn’t about to let Georgia, or anybody else, make her feel guilty for her choices, or force her into a change she didn’t want to make, so she could fit in better. Truth was, she’d never fit in anywhere, and now she didn’t care if she never did.
“You OK in there?” A familiar voice seeped through the door. “Saw you come in, thought you’d come right back out, but it’s been five minutes, and since there’s nothing worth spending five minutes on in the closet...”
“I’m fine,” she said, still not giving up her spot against the door.
“Need some help?”
“Nope, I’m good.”
“Got time for a cup of coffee?” he asked. “There’s something I want to discuss with you. Privately. In my office.”
“About the school?” She was not quite ready to accept his invitation, yet not quite ready to turn it down either. Because the idea of a little one-on-one with him did raise her heartbeat a notch or two, as it had previously during their few times together. But it was something she always wrote off as nervousness due to her new direction in her career path.
“Come out and I’ll tell you. It’s something I think you might enjoy. You and that dog of yours.”
“Bella. Her name’s Bella.” Carrie stepped away from the door, then opened it, but didn’t emerge into the hall. Rather, she stood in the doorway and looked up at him. She tried not to get herself caught up in how good he looked in his green scrubs, stethoscope slung casually around his neck. A couple of days’ growth of beard. Hair mussed. He was a handsome man by any definition of the word...and just because she didn’t date them it didn’t mean she couldn’t look, and enjoy.
Unfortunately, she got caught up too quickly, too easily. “Did you say coffee?” she asked, to diffuse the moment. Or the imaginary moment that was trying to pop into her mind. The one where she hadn’t stepped into the hall for him, but he’d stepped into the closet for her... Just let it go, she chided herself, forcing her eyes to the clock on the wall behind him. “Because I’ve got a break coming up and...”
“Yes, coffee,” he said, his expression perfectly impassive. Then followed immediately with, “What’s got you so spooked? You seem jumpy.”
She smiled. Not spooked as much as affected. He did that to her. He affec
ted her. “People around want to...” She exaggerated a cringe. “Fix me up. You know, introduce me to brothers, nephews and cousins.”
A seductive eyebrow arched and a half smile crossed his lips. “And you don’t like that?”
“Don’t like it, don’t want it. Never have. Never will. It’s not my style.”
“What is your style, Carrie Kellem?” he asked, turning to head down the hall, presumably to his office.
Carrie followed, but kept her distance for fear that, if they walked shoulder to shoulder, one of the do-gooders would read something into it that wasn’t there. “I don’t really have a style. More like a philosophy. I was a late starter in life. Never really had a sense of who I was or where I belonged. And the result is, because I never fit in before, I don’t have an overpowering urge to fit in anywhere in the present or even the future. I’m good by myself. To get myself from where I was to where I am now, I had to be.”
“So, no husband in your future? Or kids, or the proverbial cottage with the white picket fence?”
“Not necessarily. I’m human. There are a lot of things I want for myself. But I’m also practical. If I don’t get them, I’m perfectly fine alone. It works either way.”
They stopped at a wooden door with a temporary cardboard sign tacked to it, reading “Dr. Jack Hanson, MD.”
“So, you don’t date?” he asked her.
“I do, sporadically, if someone is interesting enough. Haven’t for a couple of years, though. It was always such an...effort. And I’ve never cared enough for anyone to get involved in the sense that I wanted to belong to him.” She shrugged. “I’m not sure what it will take. Not even sure I want to find out.”
“Don’t you ever get lonely?”
“Don’t you?” she countered. “You’re not married, and I’m assuming you’re not involved.”
“Not involved,” he said quite simply.
“And you live alone?” The question might have been a leap, but she didn’t see Jack living with anybody. He was the epitome of the solitary man and it seemed he worked hard to keep himself isolated.
