“More so, probably,” Ben mused, and Leah had laughed and said no, that women’s lives were a million times more stressful than men’s but that he was welcome to book himself in for a massage if he thought he needed it.
Eventually he had made a booking, but he’d asked her out first. He said that it would be wrong of him to book in for treatment under false pretenses. She said that she was glad, since it would be wrong of her to give him a massage under false pretenses too. But there was no pretense in the way that they felt about each other. Ben fell in love with Leah. Leah fell in love with Ben. And Freya was delighted that her brother, who up to now (in her opinion) had gone out with very unsuitable girls, had found someone as intelligent and as caring as Leah. Freya had gone to the beauty salon for a makeover a couple of weeks after Ben and Leah had started dating, which was how she knew that Leah was intelligent and caring and how Ben discovered that Leah did wonderful things with make-up.
They’d gone out together for a year. Ben wasn’t sure how or when things had started to go wrong between them. He didn’t know whether or not it was the night that he went round to her apartment and was greeted, as usual, by the scent of jasmine and lavender from the floating candles that she always lit and which, being truthful, he didn’t really like; he didn’t know whether or not it was the day that she laughed at a joke which he simply didn’t get; he didn’t even know whether or not it was the day she accused him of not caring about her enough because he’d insisted on going to a football match with his friend Phil instead of going shopping with her, as he’d originally promised. He couldn’t put his finger on the moment that their relationship had begun to change, but what he did know was that, much as he cared for Leah, he had stopped loving her.
There had been low-key arguments, then hostile silences, then fully-fledged rows, and they’d stopped seeing each other, although Freya still went to the beauty salon for treatments and remained friendly with his ex-girlfriend. She kept him in touch with what Leah was doing and how Leah was getting on, and Ben had been pleased (although slightly jealous) when Freya came into the office one day and told him that Leah had a new boyfriend — a property developer who owned a string of apartments in the city and who drove a Saab turbo. Afterwards Ben wasn’t sure whether he was jealous about the fact that the property developer was going out with Leah or whether it was because the man was driving the make of car that Ben had lost to repossession. Then one night Leah had called him to say that she’d split up with the property developer but he was supposed to have accompanied her to a formal dinner that evening — was there any chance that Ben, as an old friend, could help her out and come along?
He sighed deeply as he remembered. Sometimes he wished that he’d said no. He’d wanted to say no, but he hadn’t because there was a part of him which had been quietly triumphant that the property developer and his damned Saab hadn’t been enough for Leah and so he’d said yes. He hadn’t expected to have a good time — he’d been sure that Leah would shoot plenty of barbed comments in his direction about their failed relationship, but she hadn’t, and they’d spent a really enjoyable evening together, which made him wonder why on earth they’d split up in the first place. They began to see each other again, although more occasionally than in the past. They told each other that it wasn’t an exclusive thing, that they were friends who helped each other out, that it wasn’t a boyfriend-girlfriend type of relationship. Sometimes they didn’t see each other for weeks because one or the other of them had met someone new. Once, Ben had been convinced that Leah had found someone really important because she hadn’t contacted him in over two months. But she’d phoned again, telling him that it hadn’t worked out, and he’d called round to her with a box of Belgian chocolates and a bottle of champagne. And he’d spent the night with her. In the last couple of months he’d been the one to meet new people, although the latest — a flirtation with a sales rep from a multi-vitamin company — had been a mere two-night stand which had left him feeling vaguely dissatisfied with the way he was living his life. He’d rung Leah to talk to her about it and had ended up in her apartment — and in her bed again — only this time she’d provided the champagne.
That had been the night before he’d gone to New York.
“Ben, sweetheart, it’s lovely to see you again so soon.” Ben was jerked back to the present as Leah pulled out the wooden chair and sat opposite him. “How was the Big Apple?”
“Big,” he said.
“And your meetings? Everything go well for you?”
“Yes,” he said.
“You sounded very mysterious on the phone,” she said. “I felt quite excited at coming here to see you. What’s the news that you had to tell me in person?” She flicked back her river of hair, suddenly reminding him of Carey’s friend Finola, who’d done exactly the same thing at Ellie’s party.
He took a deep breath. “I met someone in New York,” he said. “On the way to New York actually.”
“Someone?” She raised her thin black eyebrows questioningly.
“A girl,” said Ben.
“Oh, Ben.” She pouted. “Not another one. You know that I’m getting tired of being your old friend in between all the girls that you go out with and get messed up over.”
“Hopefully I won’t get messed up over this one,” he said. “I married her.”
“Pardon?” She pushed her hair behind her ears and leaned forward. “I don’t think I quite got that.”
“I married her,” he said again.
“Married?” she repeated.
“Yes,” he said. “Married.”
She stared at him. Actually, he thought, her eyes weren’t exactly the same color as Carey’s. Leah’s were definitely the color of dark chocolate but Carey’s were more of a milk chocolate shade. Although maybe it was emotion that was darkening Leah’s now.
“And why did you marry her?” she asked finally. “Is it some kind of joke? Is she American? Do you want to live in America and get American citizenship?”
“Don’t be silly, Leah,” he said mildly.
“It’s not me who’s being silly,” she snapped. “Honestly, Ben, what were you thinking of? You said you met her — did you know her already? Is she one of your former cast-offs?”
“No.” Ben kept his voice calm. “She was a girl I met on the plane.”
“Are you out of your fucking mind?” The words were louder than she’d intended and people at the nearby tables glanced in their direction. Ben studiously avoided looking back and instead kept his eyes fixed on Leah.
“You know, it’d be really nice if at some point someone didn’t say that to me,” Ben remarked. “Freya used a similar expression and it’s getting boring.”
“I’m not surprised she used a similar expression,” said Leah angrily. “Ben, this is crazy. You’ve married someone you don’t even know!” Her voice rose again, and this time Ben was sure that everyone in the café had heard.
“I had to tell you in person because we’ve always been friends,” he said. “I didn’t feel it was something I could say over the phone.”
“Friends!” She stared at him. “Friends! We were fucking lovers, you bastard.”
“Leah, please.” He could see that the two women at the table beside them had abandoned any pretense of not listening and were openly staring at them, their cream buns forgotten as they waited in anticipation for what might come next.
“Please what?” she asked. “Please sleep with me on Tuesday and please say nothing when I turn up married a few days later?”
“Leah, I didn’t plan to get married.”
“Oh great, that makes it all OK then.”
“You and me, we were friends. We —”
“Oh, what planet are you on, Ben Russell? Friends, my arse! We went out together for a year. You got a fit of nerves because I started talking about the future and you began to pick fights with me. We split up but you couldn’t stay away from me. And because I loved you, because I was prepared to give you the
time and space which I thought you might need, I went along with your ‘occasional’ dates. You think that I was happy with that? You think I didn’t want more? You think that there wasn’t a time when I didn’t cry about the fact that you would willingly sleep with me but you wouldn’t ever tell me that you loved me?”
“Leah —”
“Don’t.” Her voice trembled with fury. “Don’t even speak to me. You tell me that you want to meet me and you bring me to this place to tell me that it’s over between us because you’ve got married to someone else — and I’m supposed to be OK with this?”
“I didn’t think you’d mind. You’ve had other relationships, haven’t you?”
“I was trying to make you jealous, you insensitive shit!”
“You don’t mean that,” said Ben. “You cried when you split up with the property bloke. You cried on my shoulder and you told me that he’d been the best thing that had ever happened to you.”
“But he wasn’t you,” said Leah. “And it was you I wanted.”
“We fought all the time,” said Ben.
“So what?” Leah’s eyes flashed at him. “We always ended up in the sack afterwards, didn’t we? Is that all I ever was to you, Ben Russell? A good lay when there wasn’t anyone else available?”
“Of course not,” said Ben miserably. “Oh, Leah, I don’t want to hurt you.”
“A bit late for that, isn’t it?”
“I’m sorry,” he said. “I really am.”
“Sorry isn’t good enough.”
“Leah, we were friends,” he said. “Sure, we slept together but it wasn’t — we didn’t —”
“You didn’t,” she hissed. “Whatever it was, you didn’t. I loved you, Ben. I was waiting for you. And you’ve betrayed me. Just like all men betray good women in the end.” She stood up, her eyes blazing with fury. “I don’t know what sort of game you think you’re playing at but I can tell you one thing, and that’s nobody, not even you, treats Leah Ryder like this. Nobody. So you’d better fucking watch out, Mr. Just Got Married, because if you think that I’m finished with you, you have another think coming.” She turned and stormed out of the café, slamming the door behind her.
The café had gone silent. Ben picked up another sachet of sugar and emptied it into his cold coffee. He looked up as he raised the glass cup to his lips to find twenty pairs of eyes fixed on him. He knew that if he was in a movie he’d be able to say something witty and amusing to shrug off the incident. But he wasn’t. And he couldn’t.
He put down the coffee without drinking it and hurried out into the rain.
Chapter Five
NIAOULI
A clearing oil particularly useful for problem skin
Once her shift was finished, Carey didn’t hang around. She hurried to her trusty Audi A3, took out her mobile, and dialed Ben’s number. He answered on the second ring. “Hello,” she said. “I’m just about to head home and pick up my stuff. I should be with you soon.”
“Good,” said Ben. “I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too,” said Carey, although she hadn’t really had time to miss him while she was working. But now, hearing his voice, she wanted desperately to be with him again.
“I’ve cleared some space for all your gear,” he told her. “It wasn’t easy. I didn’t realize how much of a slob I was.”
“You’re not a slob,” she said. “I didn’t see any evidence of slobbish behavior when we were in New York.”
“I was on my best behavior then,” he said. “Now that I’m home I’ll revert to type again.”
“Oh, God!” She giggled. “Two slobs together. I didn’t realize what I was signing up for.”
“Hurry home,” said Ben. “So’s you can find out.”
“I’ll be as quick as I can,” she assured him.
The porch light was on when she arrived back at the house in Swords fifteen minutes later. As she opened the front door she heard the sound of the TV and looked into the living room, where Gina was sprawled on the sofa.
“Welcome home.” Gina sat up. “Even if it’s for the last time.”
Carey slung her bag onto the nearest armchair and flopped onto the sofa beside her friend. “I’m knackered,” she confessed. “And I still have to get loads of my things together to go across town.”
Gina looked at her sympathetically. “I know,” she said. “That’s why I did a bit of packing for you.”
“Really?”
Gina nodded. “I bunged your clothes into all of the available cases and kitbags. You can give my cases back to me whenever you feel like it. I don’t have any holidays planned so I don’t need them anytime soon.”
“Oh, thanks, Gina, that was really decent of you.” Carey stretched her legs out in front of her and wiggled her toes. “I feel so exhausted all of a sudden and I really wasn’t looking forward to packing clothes. I put as much of my other stuff in boxes as I could.”
“What’ll he say when he sees your shoe collection?” asked Gina. “Men are never entirely understanding of that kind of thing.”
Carey laughed. “I haven’t told him. I’m not going to take them all tonight. This morning he spent ages telling me that his house is really small. D’you think he’s trying to hint at something?”
“Definitely.” Gina nodded. “Would you like a cup of tea or coffee before you head off?”
“Love one,” said Carey. “But you don’t have to make it for me — I’ll do it.”
“No bother.” Gina got up. “You sit there and chill out for a bit.”
Carey ignored her. She followed Gina into the kitchen and sat on the edge of the table while her friend spooned coffee into two huge white mugs which had their names printed on them.
“I didn’t mean to do this,” said Carey. “It just happened.”
“It seems such a drastic step.” Gina screwed the lid back onto the coffee jar. “I mean, I know he’s wonderful, Carey, and I can quite see how you fell for him. I’m just a bit worried that it was so damn sudden.”
“I can’t explain it,” said Carey. “I really can’t. You know, he asked me if I believed in love at first sight and I said no, but — oh, Gina — there was a spark straight away. Even on the plane, when it was kind of prickly and we weren’t sure whether or not we were getting on. And when we disembarked and he started to walk away, I felt gutted. Then, at Ellie’s party…” Her voice trailed off. “Gina, it was magic. Absolute magic.”
“Lucky cow.” Gina poured boiling water into the mugs.
“You have it too,” Carey pointed out. “You’re engaged, for heaven’s sake. You’re getting married next year.”
“I know, I know,” said Gina. “And I’m madly in love, don’t think that I’m not. But you have to admit that the way you’ve done it — well, it’s out of the ordinary to say the least. With me and Steve, yes, there was the attraction, yes, there was the excitement, and yes, there was the one perfect night too. It’s just — we’re friends too, Carey. You and Ben can’t be friends yet.”
“Yes, we are,” said Carey fiercely. “We’ve been together a week. We know lots of things about each other — everything there is to know. Everything that matters. After Ellie’s party, after we made love, we talked for hours. About everything. We like the same kinds of things — actually, we discovered that on the plane! His favorite food is Italian too. He supports Chelsea Football Club. His parents died when he was young. He works with his sister, they’re really close.”
“Too close?” asked Gina. “Is she a kind of mother influence on him or anything?”
“I don’t think so,” replied Carey. “Although she brought him up — their parents weren’t very child-oriented, according to Ben — so I suppose it’s a bit different from the usual brother–sister thing. He didn’t contact her to tell her about getting married. I think he would’ve done if there was some sort of issue there.” She sipped her coffee. “I love him, Gina. I know it’s mad and crazy and sort of unbelievable, but I love him.�
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“As I said, lucky cow.”
“But I’m sorry to be moving out from here.” She looked round the kitchen. “I’ve enjoyed living with you. I’ll keep paying rent until you get someone else.”
“No need to worry about that,” said Gina. “Rachel Hickey is moving in next week.”
“That was quick.” Carey looked surprised.
“The lease on her place comes up at the end of the month,” explained Gina. “She’d been asking round in case anyone knew of a house-share or a flat-share. So it’s worked out really well.”
“I’m glad,” said Carey.
“So I’ll get by even though you’ve deserted me.” Gina grinned at her friend. “I’ll miss you, though. It’s been fun.”
“I know.” Carey drained her mug. “But I suppose it’s time for me to turn into a happily married woman with a place of her own.”
“I’m glad for you,” said Gina gently. “Especially after that whole Peter Furness thing.”
“I’m not marrying Ben on the rebound,” Carey retorted.
“I never said you were.” Gina shook her head. “I’m just pleased you’re over it.”
“Couldn’t be more over it,” Carey told her as she looked at her wedding ring. “Couldn’t be more over it if I tried.”
Later that evening, Gina helped Carey to pile her stuff into the Audi. The car was already overflowing with boxes of tissues, numerous bags of Liquorice Allsorts and other sweets, a variety of road maps, a selection of gossip magazines, and a few pairs of shoes. Carey regarded her car as an extension of her home. Gina stood at the end of the driveway and waved until her friend was out of view. Then she bit her lip, walked back into the house, and locked the door behind her.
It took Carey half an hour to get to Portobello and another five minutes to find Ben’s street. As she pulled up outside the redbrick house and switched off the engine, the front door opened and Ben stood in the doorway. Carey pushed open the car door and tumbled out.
He put his arms around her and kissed her deeply on the lips. “It’s been hell without you,” he told her as they eventually separated.
Too Good to Be True Page 7
