by Jani Kay
“I already told you to stop worrying about that shit. Concentrate on getting better so that we don’t need to have this conversation. You’re not getting out of this that easily,” I said with a hollow laugh.
Mia frowned as she looked at me. “I don’t understand. Why can’t you just give Cobra peace of mind?”
I held up both hands, showing my palms. “Whoa, hang on a minute. That’s not how I mean it. It’s not that I won’t fulfill Cobra’s wishes . . . it’s that I want him back as our leader. Where he belongs. I’m happy to be VP for the rest of my life.”
Mia’s eyes softened. “That’s what we all want.”
16 — Jade
The second Ryder walked into our room, tense and his skin pale, fear gripped my heart.
I’d wanted to go with Mia but the guys wouldn’t let me leave the damn compound and after stewing about it for a while, my anger morphed into worry. The longer they stayed away and I wasn’t sure what was happening, the more my mind kept making stupid things up.
“How’s Cobra? And Mia? Is everything okay?” I blurted out. I’d been biting my nails, trying to read a book, trying to relax, even taking a warm bath to soothe my tight muscles, but nothing helped.
Ryder shook his head and came to sit at the edge of the bed. His head fell into his hands and his shoulders slumped forward as he sobbed. I crawled to where he sat, rubbing up and down his back, waiting for him to fill me in.
Oh. My. God. Cobra is dead.
I fought for breath as the implications ran through my head. I couldn’t stand not knowing for certain. All those feelings of dread came rushing back.
“He . . . um, did he die?” My voice was barely above a whisper.
Ryder’s head jerked up, his eyes filled with sorrow. “Not yet. But just before we left he had a relapse. I've never seen him like this—not even at his worst. I’m not sure he’s going to make it, and I can’t handle it.”
His phone buzzed in his pocket. I waited as he hauled it out and pulled a face when he saw the name on the screen. I stole a glance at the screen. Razor.
“Yeah?” Ryder sounded as tired as he looked.
Razor’s hysterical voice boomed down the line. “Cobra had a stroke after you left. A fucking stroke! I thought that shit was for old people.”
Ryder’s eyes widened and his skin paled. “What? Is he okay?”
“No, of course he’s not okay. The fucking doctor said he’s on life support because he’s in a fucking coma. Jesus, didn’t my brother just talk to us? How can he be in a fucking coma? They’re full of shit, those fucking doctors.”
Ryder sucked in a deep breath and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Razor, calm the fuck down.”
He rose from the bed and paced the room. He was about to crack, and I didn’t know how to help him.
Razor’s voice was so loud I could still hear every word. “Don’t bother coming back to the hospital. My brother’s a fucking vegetable—there’s nothing we can do.”
“Mia? Does she know?”
“Yeah, she’s here with me. Having a meltdown. I’m gonna bring her home soon.”
“No, don’t drive. Get an Uber. We can get your bike in the morning.”
“Fuck, now you want me in a coffin, too?” he yelled. “You know I hate driving in anything with four wheels.”
“Razor, grow some fucking balls. This isn’t the time to be a pussy.”
“Fuck you, Ryder. I’m coming on my bike. I’ll get an Uber for Mia.”
“Be careful.”
Razor screamed some obscenities but Ryder just ended the call and placed his phone back into his pocket.
I rose from the bed and went to Ryder where he stood by the window. “What was that all about?”
“Razor has claustrophobia, and he hates driving in anything with more than two wheels. I thought if I made the crazy fucker angry enough he’d be challenged to come in a vehicle with Mia. Didn’t work.”
“I’m so sorry about Cobra. And poor Mia. It must be so damn hard on her.”
“I’ll call the docs for more information. I’m going outside for a while to get some fresh air.” He circled his arms around me and placed a kiss in my hair. “I’ll be back soon. Just try to relax, okay?”
Part of me hated when Ryder shut me out like that, but I couldn’t blame him for needing a brief reprieve. His whole world had been turned upside-down, and I could see the worry eating at him.
What did Cobra being in a coma really mean? How would it impact the Scorpio Stingers, and more importantly, Ryder? So many questions muddled my brain, and a headache pounded at my temples.
Lying on the bed, I pulled the covers over my legs and closed my eyes while a million thoughts ran through my mind. When something happens to one person it impacts on so many other lives.
After what felt like forever, Ryder came back into the room. He stopped at the door and removed his heavy boots, then threw off his cut and belt and crawled onto the bed.
“I just need to hold you, baby,” he murmured against my hair, and I could taste the saltiness of tears on his cheeks.
This is bad. Really bad.
I placed my arms around his wide neck and kissed his lips, his cheeks, and finally, his forehead, too. Strong biceps tightened around me, squeezing my body to his as if he’d never let me go.
I wasn’t sure who was comforting whom, but I let him kiss me deep and long, our tongues lashing at one another until we were both breathless.
“I need you, baby,” Ryder groaned into my mouth.
“I need you, too.”
That was all there was to it. Simple yet profound.
I undid Ryder’s zip and tugged at his pants until his cock sprang free. It was hot, and thick, and pulsing against my palm.
“I need to be inside you,” he said in a hoarse voice as he pushed my panties aside and ran a finger through my slick wetness.
Guiding his cock to my pussy, I ached for him to fill me. With one surge of his hips he thrust his length inside me while a deep moan escaped my lips. This was what I wanted, what I needed more than anything.
Ryder fucked me relentlessly, a man on a mission. His emotions were raw and real as he poured himself into me. I took what he gave, meeting him equally thrust by thrust, giving him what he needed, too.
As if choreographed, we came at the same time, both our chests heaving as we panted while catching our breaths. My cheeks were wet as tears streamed onto the pillow. Once my orgasm hit me it was as if a dam wall had burst, and everything came flooding out all at once.
Ryder lifted his head and stared down into my eyes. “Princess, you okay?”
How did I answer that question? Parts of me were fine while others were full of dread, sorrow, and pain.
I evaded Ryder’s question by asking one of my own. “Did you speak to the doctor?”
A cloud passed over Ryder’s eyes. “Yeah.” He rolled back onto his pillow and stared at the ceiling. “It’s not looking good for Cobra.”
“What do you mean?”
“He has two weeks to improve then we have to decide . . . decide if we keep him alive artificially on machines or if we let him go in peace.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. “Who makes that decision?”
“Mia. Mainly she has to sign off on it, but I’m sure she will want all of us to give our input. The next two weeks are going to be hell.”
I ran my fingers over Ryder’s brow. Deep furrows had set between his eyes.
“Even if we keep him alive, there’s no guarantee that he’ll wake up. And if he does come out of the coma, he may not be the same man as the one we know.”
I processed that information slowly while my heart squeezed. How fragile we humans are.
“I believe in miracles,” I said in a soft voice. “Do you?”
Silence fell between us as Ryder closed his eyes. Just as I thought that he’d drifted off to sleep and wasn’t going to answer my question, he rolled to his side and met my gaze. His hand closed around my neck
and his thumb stroked my skin.
“Before you, I never imagined another miracle happening to me. I thought I’d used my life’s quota the day Cobra and Razor saved my life in juvie. But then you proved me wrong.” Ryder smiled at me. “So yeah, I believe in miracles, because you are living proof that they exist.”
My fingers weaved through Ryder’s. “Well then what we need here is a good dose of miracles coming our way. If we believe hard enough, Cobra can pull through and get better.”
Ryder’s smile widened. “This is exactly why I love you as much as I do. You never stop amazing me. We better put in a large order for those damn miracles, because Cobra and Mia are going to need it.”
17 — Ryder
The next morning as I pushed open the door to the president’s office, I frowned as the aroma of cigar smoke hit my nostrils. I stepped inside the office, nearly choking on the thick fog, to find Razor sitting behind the desk on Cobra’s chair, with a cigar dangling from his lips. His gaze met mine but there was no warmth in it.
“Good morning, brother,” I greeted him, keeping my voice neutral. Cobra’s near-death was fucking with my mind, and I had no doubt that Razor was going through all kinds of shit himself. He might not have been as close to his brother as I was, but I knew he idolized his older sibling. “You’re smoking Cobra’s cigars.”
“Yeah. He had a secret stash in a locked drawer.”
I glared at him, not asking the obvious question about how he got into the drawer.
“So, finally, it’s come to this. I’m going to be a fucking orphan.” Razor’s tone was bitter as hell. “Of all the things that happened to me in life, this is one thing I never expected. Cobra was supposed to be around for a very long time, and now the fucker is going to leave me.”
He took one long final drag of the cigar, then extinguished it by grinding it on the side of the overfull ashtray, letting it drop to the table and join the spilt ash because there wasn’t space on the heap for another butt. As much as it irked me, I ignored the mess. Now wasn’t the time to be petty or sweat the small stuff, but I wasn’t going to shirk my duty to put him straight.
“It wasn’t his own doing, so quit feeling sorry for yourself. Cobra hasn’t breathed his last yet, and there’s hope until then. Either way, he left a legacy, one you can be proud of. Yeah, his big as fuck boots are going to be hard to fill the day he does bite it, but he’d expect nothing but the best from all of us.”
Razor smirked. He narrowed his eyes and folded his arms across his broad chest. “I’ve been sitting here all night thinking. This club has been built on the blood of my family. I’ve decided that I’m ready to step up and be Pres of the Scorpio Stingers. It’s what Chopper Malone would have expected from me.”
My mouth hung open. This was a strong reaction for Razor and one I never saw coming. It was also awkward as fuck.
“I understand that you feel this way, and I admire you for wanting to step up. But you are aware that Cobra asked me to be Pres while he recovers?”
Something resembling a thunderstorm passed over Razor’s features. “Ryder, I’ve respected you since you became one of us. Hell, I treated you like family. But this is different.”
“How?”
“My family has always been at the helm of this club and it should stay that way. I know you feel obligated to Cobra’s wishes, and in a way I even understand why he asked you and not me. But that’s fucking bullshit. I can do this. For fuck’s sake, I’m a Malone. I was born into this.”
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. One thing the Malone men were good at was assuming their birthright was given. That it would fall into their laps just because of their bloodline and not because they actually deserved it. That kind of thinking didn’t go down well with me. I was all for the best man getting the job.
“No offense, but if Cobra thought you were up for it he’d have asked you and not me. I made a promise to him, one I’m committed to keeping whatever the price I have to pay. And that includes pissing you off.”
“You’re fucking right. It does piss me off.”
I rubbed both my eyes. I hadn’t slept much, and that dreaded twitch was threatening its return. “I’d hoped it wouldn’t have come to this—us fighting against one another instead of working together for the better of the club. That’s what Cobra wants.”
Razor’s fist came down hard on the table. “Fuck you, Ryder. Fuck you for using Cobra’s wishes against me. I’m going to be Pres and that’s all there is to it. You can stay on as VP if you want, but I kinda have a feeling that it’s not going to quite work out between us.”
“You really want to do this, Razor? Cobra hasn’t even been taken off the machines yet. For fuck’s sake, at least let’s wait till that’s over before deciding on something permanent.”
Razor glared at me. “Why wait? What if he never opens his eyes again? And even if he does get better, he’s not going to be able to resume full club duties straight away. Let’s just get it the fuck over with.”
I opened and closed my fists by my sides, struggling to not plant them into Razor’s smug face. “I’d recommend you don’t do that. I’m going to honor Cobra in any way I can. I suggest you do the fucking same.”
Of all the people on earth, the one I’d always believed was in my corner had turned against me. Cobra hadn’t even been out of it for twenty-four hours and already mutiny was rearing its ugly head. I had no doubt that some of the brothers would support Razor. Hell, if I hadn’t made an oath that I intended to honor, I’d let him go for it. It would solve my dilemma with Jade.
But I didn’t have a choice.
My word meant something to me, and I was going to stick to it even if it killed me.
I had no idea how to deal with this. Razor had always worked with me, not against me. It was foreign that we couldn’t see eye to eye and do what was best for the club and not any individual in particular. When I’d taken on the role of VP I’d never expected for this day to come so soon.
Yeah, there were no certainties in life besides change and death, and now I was dealing with the two of them at once, staring them squarely in the eye, both inevitable.
“Let’s not talk about this anymore. I’m going to put your crazy talk down to shock and grief. If Cobra dies, then after his funeral we can talk again. For now, we need to rally together, to stay strong. You get that, don’t you?”
Razor sniggered. “That’s fucking classic. You telling me what to do. I’m not going to change my mind on this. Ever since Cobra got shot I’ve been thinking about it. In fact, I was going to talk to him about it before he went into a coma—tell him that I was ready if he wanted to step down and be with his family for a while.”
“That’s noble of you.” Sarcasm dripped from my voice.
“But since Cobra’s not in any state for a conversation, I’ve called all the boys together for a club meeting in an hour, so stick around. I’m thinking the sooner we settle this, the sooner everyone knows where they stand.”
That arrow was aimed directly at me.
Razor had never been much of a team player, always preferring to be on the outside. Yeah, he knew just how to walk on the very edge of the line without crossing it. And the few times he had crossed it, Chopper Malone had been there to thump his ass back into shape.
This was going to be interesting as fuck. His sudden interest in being president didn’t align with how he usually operated, and I was curious to see how he was going to handle this. “Sure. But know I’m also going to be telling the boys what Cobra’s wishes are.”
“It’s a no-brainer that the brothers will want a Malone as president and not somebody we rescued from juvie.”
I laughed out loud at the irony. “MC clubs, including the Scorpio Stingers, are notorious for being criminals and lowlifes, and most leaders have a rap sheet longer than the toilet paper you use to wipe your ass, so don’t talk to me about being in juvie. You and Cobra were there for a reason, too.”
Razor’s face turned red. H
e really needed to get a handle on his anger issues.
I sighed and turned on my heels to leave but hesitated for a moment by the door, looking back at Razor, at how he’d casually placed his feet on the desk as he blew circles of smoke from another one of Cobra’s special cigars into the air.
As if I were the enemy, Razor glared at me from under his heavy eyebrows. “Blood is thicker than water. Remember that, Ryder Knox. Remember where you came from and who saved your fucking life.”
18 — Ryder
An hour later, I went straight to the boardroom to find most of the patched-in members already there, their noisy banter dying down the instant I stepped inside. Razor sat in Cobra’s chair at the head of the table. He lifted his chin, challenging me to question his right to be there.
“Hey, don’t let my presence stop you all from talking shit,” I said, taking confident strides toward the table and pulling a chair up next to the president’s. If he thought he was going to intimidate me, he was mistaken. I didn’t scare that fucking easily.
Everyone shuffled toward the table. The older members took their seats without further words while the newer members stood behind them. The air was thick with anticipation, and I wouldn’t have been surprised if some of the brothers were hoping for Razor and me to get physical and determine the outcome the good old-fashioned way with our fists. We hadn’t had a brawl for a while and one always seemed to calm the boys down when tensions were running high. An overload of testosterone together with frayed nerves was a recipe for things to get ugly.
My fists itched as I opened and closed them by my sides. Fuck, if the boys wanted a fight I wasn’t going to be the one to disappoint them.
“Let’s not waste time,” Razor said with his trademark smirk. “You all know why we’re here. I’m challenging Cobra’s decision to make Ryder president. Hell, some of you have known me all my life. You know where my loyalties lie and, most importantly, that I’m a Malone.”
