by Jani Kay
This moment. All the pain—past and present—was forgotten. I’d do it again in a heartbeat to see the joy in Ryder’s eyes.
32 — Ryder
Nothing I’d experienced in my whole life could prepare me for this moment. Looking into the eyes of the woman I loved and knowing we had created something magical between the two of us was enough to bring any man to his knees.
I’d worship Jade like the goddess she was for what she’d managed to do. It was true that the feminine sex was by far the stronger because no man—including the macho man I believed I was—would be able to endure all of what she’d been through and still look as breathtakingly beautiful.
“I have a request,” Jade said as I wheeled her into the room full of incubators.
“Yeah?” Surely she wasn’t craving ice-cream any longer. Pity though. Sex and an icy treat made a fucking great combination.
“We chose to name Jayden after me, but I’d like to give him a second name if that’s okay with you?”
“Huh?” Her words brought my mind out of the gutter.
“Today is special in more ways than one.” She tilted her head to look up at me. “I want to honor Cobra coming back to us.”
My mouth gaped open. Through all the pain and anguish Jade had suffered earlier, somewhere in her subconscious mind she’d been thinking about Cobra and his awakening.
“You want our boy’s second name to be Cobra?”
“No, silly. That’s too biker-ish. I was thinking his real name . . . Jacob. Jayden Jacob Knox. What do you think?”
I swallowed hard. That’s why I loved Jade as much as I did. She blew my fucking mind as hard as she blew my dick.
“Jacob Cobra Malone will be pleased, I think.”
“I know Daddy was hoping I’d name Jayden after him, but I think Harrison and Eva have plans along that line, so my father will have to wait a few weeks longer.”
We reached the elevators and I pressed the button for the floor to the neo-natal ward.
I crossed my arms and scratched my chin. “How about we give little Harley a second name too?”
Jade smiled up at me. “I was still working up the courage to discuss that with you,” she said, her eyes beaming.
I hunched down beside the wheelchair so I could look her straight in the eyes. “Jade, you can ask or tell me anything, baby. You know that, right?”
She bit her lower lip as she nodded. What the hell was she thinking that she was afraid to discuss with me?
“Marianne.” It hit me like a slap in the face. I was expecting anything but that name to come out of her mouth. “I’d like to name our baby girl Harley Marianne Knox.” Jade’s eyes were brimming with tears and her voice was husky. “Only if that’s okay with you,” she added hastily.
She could’ve knocked me over with a feather. Again my mouth hung slightly open as I searched her face to see if she was serious.
She was.
“You want my mother’s name for our daughter?” A sharp pain hit me in the gut. Jade knew how much my mother had hurt me. I’d believed for years she’d abandoned Max and me until Bill had set the record straight. But still, the hurt never went away. I’d carry those fucking demons with me to my grave.
“I’ve only been a mom for a short time, but already it’s changing me. I can only imagine the sacrifices Marianne must’ve been willing to make for you and Max. She loved you Ryder, and Bill told you her side of the story. It wasn’t her fault that she met with such bad luck.”
The look Jade gave me was one of compassion and kindness. I’d been thinking a lot about Marianne since Jade fell pregnant and wondered how she’d be as a grandmother. Somehow she was stuck in my mind as a forever-young groupie, always more a girl than a woman, and I couldn’t imagine her with wrinkles and gray hair. Bill had told me she was as beautiful when she aged as she’d been as the mother of two little boys, but I just couldn’t picture it.
“You seem to have already made up your mind, Princess,” I said softly, touched that she’d name our daughter after a woman she’d never known because of the connection she had to me. That was how a person showed their true love. Grand gestures were easy to make but it was the little things that really counted.
“Only if you approve.” She lowered her eyes to the floor. “I don’t want it to make you uncomfortable.”
I took hold of her hand. It didn’t take me more than a few seconds to decide. “Marianne is smiling down at us now, I can feel it. I think Harley Marianne Knox sounds great, baby. Thank you.”
Just like that, the decision was made. I loved that we could agree so easily on most things. But of course it was always the exceptions that caused the most pain and drama and Jade and I knew that only too well.
“Now can we go and see our son? I can’t wait to touch him.”
“Of course,” I said as the elevator door opened and I wheeled her inside. The car was full of other people, so we didn’t talk further. I listened with amusement to the chatter around us. For some people this was just another day. For others it was a day that would always be remembered.
With a little bit of luck and directions from a nurse wearing a large “trainee” badge, we found the place our son had been moved to. Rows of incubators stood empty against a wall, but in the middle of the room half a dozen of them were occupied by tiny alien creatures that resembled humans. Many had their eyes covered and in all cases their heads seemed too big for their small frail bodies.
“Oh Ryder,” Jade cried out, “my poor little Jayden. He looks so . . . so small. So fragile,” she choked out.
The nurse attending to our boy straightened as we approached, a kind and welcoming smile on her face. “Mr. and Mrs. Knox?”
We didn’t correct her and simply nodded. “How is he?” Jade asked eagerly.
“Jayden is doing well. In many cases a boy’s lungs are underdeveloped even at full term, so it’s not uncommon to have the baby distressed if born prematurely.” Her gaze traveled up and down my body, taking in the tattoos and my leather cut. “But he’s a little fighter. I guess he takes after his father?”
I laughed. “No actually, it’s his mother who’s the real tenacious one in our little family.”
Her eyes widened as she stared at Jade. “Yeah, she looks tame,” I teased, “but wait till somebody messes with her. Then she’s a little wildcat.”
“Ryder,” Jade chided, her cheeks growing pink. Fuck, how I’d missed getting a rise out of her, even over silly little things.
Jayden was dressed only in a diaper and a blue knitted hat. Tubes were stuck up his nose and he had a drip in his arm. Bandages held everything in place. I was coming to hate those fucking things.
“He looks blue,” Jade said with concern in her voice. “Is that normal?” The pitch of her tone rose at the end of her question and I noticed the distress on her face.
“Oh, he’s so much better than when he first came in. His whole little body will be pink in no time, especially once you hold him and bond with him. He’s waiting for his mamma.” She unashamedly eye-fucked me while Jade wasn’t looking. “And his daddy, of course,” she added in a syrupy sweet voice.
Jade looked up at the nurse, full of expectation. “Can I hold him?”
When the nurse didn’t answer and stared at Jade as if she’d just asked for a million dollars, heat crept under my collar, but I decided to stay calm for Jade’s sake. Why the fuck was she hesitating? It wasn’t an unreasonable request. I gave the woman a hard glare, sending her an unspoken message that Jade was my woman and the only one I was interested in pleasing.
“Um . . . normally we don’t allow that until the baby is stronger, but I think if Jayden feels your heartbeat, it might help him. I’ve done some reading about preemie babies and all the latest studies indicate that touch is the best medicine.” Her eyebrow raised as she looked down at Jade. “But you’ll have to be really careful not to disturb the oxygen flow going in through his nose, okay?”
Jade nodded enthusiastically. “
Of course,” she whispered, her eyes soft and misty. “I just need to tell him I love him.”
Fuck. I nearly choked on the lump in my throat. I watched as Jayden was placed into his mother’s arms, Jade’s top pulled down so that she could make skin to skin contact with the little creature against her chest.
Tears splashed onto Jade’s cheeks but her face was radiant as she smiled down at him. She held him as if he would break and gently caressed his body with her fingertips. The tenderness with which Jade held Jayden to her chest brought out every primitive instinct in my body.
“He wants to suckle. Shall we try feeding him?” Jade asked in a hopeful tone.
“Why not? It’s good for bonding even if your colostrum hasn’t come in yet.”
Jade fumbled with her top, getting her tubes tangled with those of the baby. The nurse reached out to fix it, and I moved closer to Jade to watch.
“I’m just a little nervous,” Jade laughed as she exposed her breasts. Fuck me. They’d nearly doubled in size since I last checked out her tits and the nipples had darkened in color from rose-pink to a brownish-pink and were fucking huge! I stared, almost gaping, then reminded myself to close my mouth.
I hope she breastfeeds for a long, long time. My dick certainly liked what it saw and it stirred against my jeans. Fuck, I wished we were alone. I had plenty of dirty things to say about her larger tits. They were driving me fucking wild and they weren’t even for me.
“He’s so small. It’s almost as if my breast is too big for his little mouth. He keeps on sliding off.”
“Here, let me help.” The nurse moved Jayden’s head and helped him latch on to a nipple.
“Ahhh, yes,” Jade said with a sweet smile, her eyes wide with wonder. “For such a small baby he has a strong sucking reflex.”
That’s my boy. Pride filled my chest.
“Please give us privacy. I think we can handle this together.”
The nurse seemed surprised. “Oh but—”
I raised an eyebrow and pressed my lips together. The old don’t-fuck-with-me-woman look worked like magic. In fact it worked on every woman except Jade. It hadn’t intimidated nor impressed her from the very first time I’d met her and if I wanted to piss her off, all I had to do was pull that face at her.
It seemed to be working on the nurse.
“Will you be okay?” she asked Jade.
“I think so,” Jade said with slight hesitation.
“You’ve got me, baby,” I said waggling my eyebrows.
Jade didn’t seem to think it was as amusing as I did. “Of course, and you’re a breastfeeding expert, aren’t you?”
“I’m the man who knows your tits better than anyone else. And that kid is mine, he’ll know how to suck. So I don’t see any problem here.”
Jade rolled her eyes at me. “If only everything in life were as easy as men think it is.” She looked at the nurse. “We should be fine, and I’ll ring the bell if I need help.”
“Okay then,” she said and gave me a strange look before leaving.
Women. Sometimes they could get worked up about the smallest things. But I’d teach Jayden everything I knew and maybe he’d have a better chance at understanding them.
33 — Ryder
Jade had just finished feeding Harley. She wrapped her tightly in a blanket and lay the infant in the crib next to her hospital bed. It would be a while before I took my girls home and Jayden had to stay until he was stronger, but everyone was doing well and I was a grateful man.
I took off Jade’s locket that was hanging around my neck. Every time I’d looked into the mirror and seen them dangling together, it was like a spear to my insides.
“Baby, when you agreed to marry me, you wanted lockets to wear close to our hearts instead of a ring on your finger.” Jade’s attention went from her daughter to me and I continued, “These two lockets were never meant to both hang around my neck. I’ve been looking after yours, waiting for the chance to put it back where it belongs.”
I opened my palm for her to see. “Look, I’ve had them engraved.”
With trembling fingers, Jade picked hers up and studied it.
Ryder & Jade. Together for life.
She sucked in a sharp breath. “It’s beautiful. Do you have any idea how much I missed wearing it? I felt naked, stripped in a sense. I know it’s crazy but I believed that locket would keep me safe, and without it horrible things could happen. And it nearly did.” Her voice was thick with emotion and I swallowed the lump in my throat.
Biting her lower lip, she handed it back to me and turned around so that I could fasten it around her neck.
I put the locket back where it belonged and leaned in to kiss her shoulder and then pushed her hair aside and placed my lips on the tender spot just beneath her ear. She leaned back against me, moaning softly, melting her body into mine. Both my arms went around her waist and pulled her closer. I could easily have stood like that forever, but I wanted to kiss her, and I spun her around so that she faced me. My lips found hers and I poured my being into her, kissing her with all the longing in my soul burning through me.
“I love you, Princess, more than life itself,” I said in a hoarse voice as I ended the kiss.
Her lips moved against mine. “I love you, too. So very much.”
My gaze found hers. “Our love for one another was never a question. We belong together. I want you to keep planning that wedding because I can’t wait to make it official.” I took a deep breath. “You’re mine, baby, and I’m yours. I want you to wear my ring on your finger.”
“Oh, Ryder,” she breathed, “of course I will.”
I pinched her ass and pulled her up against my body. My cock stirred and throbbed against her stomach. I wanted her so badly but I’d have to wait a while and it was going to kill me. But I’d be patient. The best things in life were always worth it.
Haley cooed from the crib. We smiled at one another and moved closer to admire our little miracle.
“Isn’t she beautiful?” Jade gushed, her cheeks glowing.
“Yeah. Just like her mamma.” Fuck, I’d need a rifle to keep the cocksuckers away from my baby girl one day.
With Jade’s large eyes beaming at me, my heart was full. Yet there were still so many unknowns hanging in the air. I placed both hands on her shoulders and squeezed.
“I don’t know what’s going to happen at the club now Cobra’s out of his coma. Razor is hell bent on being President and I think part of it has to do with him trying to show Lexi that’s he’s a worthy man.”
Jade nodded. “I never thought of it like that but I think you have a good point there.”
“I’ve never known Razor so out of his element. I think Lexi is driving him fucking crazy and he needs to prove himself not only to her but to his brothers as well. He’s in for one hell of a ride,” I said dryly, almost feeling sorry for the fucker.
“Lexi is a hard nut to crack. She’s got a crush on you, and I think that riles Razor.” She smiled sweetly at me. “Luckily I’m secure in our love. I’ve never doubted that part of our relationship or I might feel vulnerable too.”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re not even a little bit jealous?” I teased, needing my ego stroked. “Fuck, if it were the other way round I’d wanna cut a dude’s dick right off.”
Jade shook her head and held her stomach as she laughed. She loved that I was so possessive, but I wasn’t even kidding. A man laid a finger on her and he was looking for trouble. I felt hot under the collar just thinking about it.
“You’re so fucking cute, biker.”
“Just remember who you belong to, baby,” I growled. “I can’t wait to have that ring on your finger so everyone can see you’re taken.”
Jade stopped laughing and said, “I don’t need a ring on my finger to prove anything. No other man could ever take your place. You’ve ruined the good girl forever.”
“That pleases me, Princess.” I grinned and pulled her closer just to feel her body against mine.
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“I don’t have eyes for anyone but you. My heart and cock belongs to you, baby. Lexi knows that.”
“Yeah, she does. But what Lexi doesn’t know is that underneath her denial, she has feelings for Razor. She’s just fighting them. She’s using her crush on you to avoid getting hurt. She knows you’re out of bounds and I hope she’ll never cross the line and ruin our relationship as cousins, but I think it might work out for Razor. He just has to keep winning her over.”
I laughed a deep belly laugh for the first time in weeks. It felt great. “Good luck to him. The girls in your family are tough little bitches. I should know, Princess.”
Jade lifted her chin. “I guess so. We’re not easy, are we? But when we love, we love fiercely and with all we have in us. Lexi just has to learn to give in to it. She can’t stop hating on Razor, she talks about him every chance she gets and that’s a dead giveaway that he’s consuming her every thought. She’s in for a shock when she realizes that what she thinks is repulsion is actually love!”
“The heart cannot be told who to love. Didn’t you tell me that?” I mused.
She smiled up at me. “Aren’t we living proof? We went against the odds and won.”
Thank fuck for that.
“We sure did. The biker and his Princess became a family.”
“I can’t wait until Jayden gets out of the incubator and we all go home.”
“Yeah. Together.”
Love poured from my heart.
I’m a lucky man to have a family of my own. Life just got sweeter.
Cobra was going to live, I knew it in my bones. My woman was going to make me an honest man—a husband—and I couldn’t be happier. Our babies were going to grow up to be strong. Eva found her man and was having his child. I’d learn to get on with him for the sake of our families. Razor would eventually find a way to win Lexi over.
Who’d be President of the Scorpio Stinger MC? I wasn’t sure, but at that moment it didn’t matter because we’d work it all out.
