by Jaymin Eve
“Yes.”
When his lips touch mine, his hesitation is gone. He lifts me up to meet him, our bodies molding together. His kiss is soft and gentle at first. A light press of his lips against mine. He follows the shape of my lips from the corner to the curve at the top, gentle brushes sending tingles all the way down to my toes.
He tastes like a warm breeze and I respond by fitting my lips to his, curve in curve, our mouths moving against each other until I gasp for breath. I tilt my head back and he follows the line of my cheeks and chin, planting kisses against my throat and up across my earlobe.
He lifts me, still kissing me, and carries me to the flat rocks at the side of the cave. When he sets me down on the lowest one, I find myself at eye height with him for the first time. His are serious, determined.
“I’ll be gone for three years. I know it’s a long time. But when I get back I’ll be able to make my own choices. I know it’s a lot to ask but… will you wait for me?”
I pull back, but not too far, just far enough to run my hands across his cheeks and kiss the path my fingers follow.
I whisper, “I would wait a lifetime for you.”
My lips graze against the fine stubble along his jaw, his cheekbones, finding his temple and the soft skin next to his ear…
He twitches and I stop, my fingertip resting lightly on his earlobe. “Baelen Rath, are you ticklish?”
He shivers against me. “Give me mercy, no. Not ticklish.”
I gasp as he presses me close again, his lips crashing against mine. A burn grows inside me. It swirls across my lower back and through my stomach. His hands flatten against my spine, sliding beneath the back of my cloak. I rest my own hands across his shoulders only to find myself sliding my fingers behind his neck, drawing him closer still.
The sky rumbles above us but I barely hear it. The first drop of rain lands on my cheek but Baelen kisses it away. Another one lands on my eyelashes and he kisses that too. The wind tugs on my cloak, finally forcing me to look up.
Baelen keeps me close, his voice a rumble in my ear. “The storm’s coming over fast. We won’t make it down the mountain in time.”
I answer, “It would be dangerous to try. We can stay here. It will blow over fast.”
He takes my hand as I step down from the rock and leads me inside the cave but he stops at the entrance. His book is still outside.
He looks back as his hand slides out of mine, holding on right to the end before letting go. He takes swift steps to retrieve the book, returning just before the clouds break and the rain falls down.
I stop at one side of the cave as he backs up to the other. We’ve been caught in the rain once before. He stayed on his side of the cave and I stayed on mine.
As clouds cover the afternoon sun and the sky darkens outside, so does the space around me. A match flares and Baelen lights the lamp he keeps at the back of the hollow, leaving the light on a rock to cast a soft glow around us.
He leans at his side of the cave, watching the rain fall outside, fat drops hitting the ground and running along the slight slope to the edge of the cliff beyond. I watch them too, knowing that we could stay like this for hours and when the rain stops, he will make sure I make it safely down the slippery rocks to the bottom of the mountain. He will see me home and then he’ll be gone for three years. And I will wait for him without question.
I know he won’t ask. I know it’s my choice. I am the daughter of a servant in his father’s house. He will never use his position or his power to persuade me. He will never take advantage.
He won’t speak. He’ll wait in silence. He won’t say the words.
So I say them for him. “I want to be yours.”
He focuses on me, but remains where he is, and I realize that what I said could be interpreted in different ways. I leave my side of the cave as thunder rumbles outside. Closer to him, I reach for his hand, lifting it and placing it against my waist. His fingers flex around the small of my back and splay across my hip.
I reach up on my tip-toes to plant a kiss on his bottom lip and watch the question grow on his face. Then I untie the sash that keeps my cloak around my shoulders and let it drop to the ground.
I say, “You have my permission.”
25
I hold my breath as Baelen leans toward me, his free hand cupping my cheek. He pauses before his lips meet mine, hesitating, his contemplation telling me he’s thinking it through. I sway into him, closing the gap, and place a light kiss on his lips.
Then I wait, inches away from him, turning my face to the side as his slow breaths tickle my earlobe. He brushes my cheek with his, but doesn’t kiss me back. Not yet. I have to respect that. Just because I’ve decided what I want, doesn’t mean he’s decided it’s the right thing for him—or for us.
Although… if he keeps nuzzling my ear like that, I’m not sure how I’ll ever let him go. My hands find his sides and all the muscles of his stomach as I try to anchor myself somewhere, anywhere, while his lips taste the soft skin at the side of my neck. Shiver after shiver rocks my body because he’s not only kissing my neck, but one of his hands rises from my hips and the other strokes down my side so that both end up resting against my rib cage, where his thumbs stroke the soft underside of my breasts through the thin material of my dress and underclothes.
I whimper as he glides his hands up my sides and over my shoulders, sliding through my hair and down my back, pulling me against him so that my thighs are pressed against his. I tip my head back, seeking his eyes, needing to know what he’s thinking. Every part of me is alive, but he still hasn’t kissed me back.
I tell myself I can accept his decision whatever it is. There’s no getting past his self-control or his perception. I’ve seen females from all the Major Houses throw themselves at him, sometimes in sickeningly obvious ways. He’s the sole heir to the Rath fortune and that makes him a target. But I never saw him take a female to his bedroom. From dinner parties and social events where I was required to serve guests, he’d turn away from females who would bed him in an instant, only to catch my eye across the room and gift me a smile, because he knew that I knew that he saw through all of them.
He’s smiling at me now, a satisfied curve to his lips as he studies my own parted lips. I’m not sure what he’s so pleased about. I can’t help it if my breathing is coming short and fast or that my hands are pressed against the hard planes of his back. I definitely can’t help that my lower half presses closer to his with every passing millisecond.
His voice is a low growl as he says, “I have wanted to kiss you for a very long time. But you are… so reserved, so cautious, so much my best friend… I couldn’t tell if you felt the same way. But now…”
His smile transforms into intense need as his mouth swoops down to mine, finally fitting to the curve of my lips, grazing them and nudging them apart to taste my mouth with his tongue. Sensation rushes through me, deep inside, and I tug at the base of his shirt, urging him away from the rock face so I can slip my hands beneath it and explore the muscular shape of his back. In response, he pulls me upward, crushing me against him. I slide back to the ground as he sets me down to pull his shirt over his head. I’ve seen his naked chest before, but I was never allowed to look at him like I can now.
Instead of coming straight back to me, he stoops to lay my cloak across the hard ground near the cave’s side, folding his shirt over the top of it. He kneels on the cloak, still clothed from the waist down, reaching out his hand for me. I hesitate. I know he doesn’t expect me to, but I take hold of the bottom of my dress and pull it up and over my head. I’m still wearing underwear—underpants and a support top, but both are thin with age and don’t cover much.
He inhales a quick breath and for a moment the need on his face almost takes over. He closes his eyes, the muscle at the side of his jaw clenching, then finally relaxing, and when he opens his eyes, he’s in control again.
He draws me down to the cloaked ground, both of us kneeling, his shirt c
ushioning my knees. He plants a kiss on my lips and follows the line of my chin and neck, down to the soft skin at the top of my breasts, caressing across the top of them, passing by to my stomach. As his lips descend, his hands follow them, kissing and touching every part of me from my back to my breasts to my inner thighs, brushing over my center, until I’m burning all over. The rain outside pounds down so loudly now that it smothers the sound of my moans as he takes his time touching me.
I kiss him back, discovering the hard muscles of his shoulders, neck, hips, and dragging at the top of his pants. I suddenly can’t stand to be wearing this much clothing. The barrier between us is unbearable. I slide out of his arms, making him growl, “Come back.” But I have to stand up to remove my underwear.
I slip out of my underpants and top, determined to return to him straight away but I pause as his gaze takes all of me in, traveling from my toes to the tops of my legs, to my waist, breasts, lips, and finally landing on my eyes. I always imagined I’d feel incredibly awkward standing naked in front of a male for the first time, but I don’t with Baelen. Not one bit.
A smile breaks across his face as he holds out his hand for me. His smile is reflected on my own face before I drop to meet him on the ground and he starts all over again, kissing and touching me until I don’t know where I am anymore. At some point, he removes his own clothing, and it’s my turn to growl at him to come back to me.
Finally he pulls me with him as he sits with his back against the side of the cave, positioning me so that my legs straddle him. He kisses me once more, but draws back, his hands resting lightly on my hips, allowing me to choose what happens next.
I’m aware of my own body and his, but I’m not entirely sure how we’re supposed to fit together. I’m suddenly frozen, my face flaming. I’m afraid that I’ll do it all wrong and… damn… the way he’s slowly dragging his hands up and down my sides and across my breasts isn’t helping me at all.
He leans forward and kisses the hot burn on each of my cheeks, causing our lower halves to press against each other in ways that make me dizzy. He lifts me with ease, up and over him, and whispers, “Let’s figure this out together.”
A little bit of maneuvering later and whatever awkwardness I felt disappears as sensation floods me. I grip his shoulders as I lower myself completely over him, the intensity overwhelming me. I try to breathe, but only succeed in gasping. I’d thought my senses were already in overdrive but I couldn’t have been more wrong.
He plants his hands on my hips, holding me, unmoving, letting me catch up with my own body, letting me choose when to move, allowing me to control our actions. Without thinking about it, I rise, watching the pleasure wash across his face, but he still doesn’t move, letting me stay in control.
I slide back as my body adjusts to his, movement gets easier, and the ache inside me takes over. I forget about the storm outside, and the dark, and the flickering lamp light. I don’t hear the thunder or see the streaks of lightning across the far horizon. My whole world is here and now, moving with Baelen, building our own storm together inside this cave. A storm that consumes all of me, growing into an uncontrollable force.
I tilt my head back and grip his shoulders as I plunge against him and the world expands and contracts around me, a thousand stars burning and exploding. Crying out, I shatter against him, my cries lost in the boom of thunder outside the cave.
I descend into his arms, shivering, aftershocks rippling through me. I curl over him as he strokes my back, but as I kiss him I realize… he hasn’t lost control.
He wraps his arms around me, his voice low, insistent, barely contained. “Tell me you’ll let me be yours, Marbella Mercy. Because I don’t want this just once. I want this again. Not just today.”
My lips part. “I’m yours, Baelen.”
He places one arm behind my back, the other across my backside and lifts us up to a standing position, still connected, then he lowers me very gently onto my back on top of my cloak, using all of his strength to keep us together. I stretch out beneath him as he begins to move. Giving him everything I have, I wrap my legs around him, drowning in the intensity I see in his eyes.
Sensation builds inside me again, increasing with every stroke, but I push it away. I want to focus on him the same way he focused on me. I want him to know what it feels like to crash and shatter, to fall into my arms like I fell into his.
I touch every part of him that I can reach, reveling in the way his muscles tense and relax as he moves, loving the way he responds to my touch. Without realizing, my breathing speeds up, matching time with his as my body moves of its own accord. I can no longer hold back the intensity building within me and it only takes one more plunge for ecstasy to slam through me, coursing through every nerve ending.
My wide eyes meet his as everything pauses. Then he crashes into me and there’s no way I can control my response or push it away. My hands push against the ground as I arch back, my body wanting to be as close to his as it can be. Where a thousands stars had shattered before, now the depth of my whole foundation shifts. We fall into each other and tiny pieces of me float away into a place where nothing can ever tear us apart.
26
I come back to the sound of my name whispered over and over as Baelen gathers me up into his arms, both of us trembling hard. He pulls me in to his side, leaning back against the cave wall while I curl my legs over his. We stay that way for a long time as the roar of thunder and rain continues outside.
I find myself falling asleep against his chest. Until there’s a strange rumbling in it, making my head and shoulders wobble. I look up at him in alarm only to find that he’s chuckling. It’s such a rare sight that I sit up and take it in for a moment, not caring that I’m still completely naked.
He grins and lifts an eyebrow at me. “Twice?”
I match his smile and slide against him, curling my upper leg around his and my arm across his broad chest. “Twice,” I say with a satisfied growl. “I’ll expect that again, thank you.”
In three year’s time.
My smile fades and I bury my head against his neck before he sees my happiness slip away. Being separated from him now feels like I’m about to lose an arm or a leg. I want to fight it with everything I have, stop time, stop tomorrow from coming.
As the rain eases outside, he lifts me up, kissing my forehead and cheeks. Without a word, he picks up our clothing, shaking my dress off before handing it to me. I pull everything back on reluctantly, including my cloak, wanting to stretch out the minutes. When we’re finally dressed again, I wait at the cave’s entrance, watching the final drips of rain, while Baelen retrieves his drawing book.
The sky is still dark. Evening has arrived. There’s an occasional streak of lightning in the distance, but the worst of the storm is over. When Baelen reaches me, he opens his book and pulls out my ribbon, running it through his fingers. He slides my hair forward, pulling the ribbon around it and tying it at the side of my neck.
I stop him, entwining my fingers with his. “I want you to have it.”
“But if you go home without it…”
“My mother will have to believe that I lost it.”
He hesitates. “When I get back, I’ll bring you a thousand ribbons. All blue.”
I kiss the side of his suddenly serious mouth. “I don’t need a thousand ribbons.” I slide the material free from my hair and wrap his hand around it. I ache to touch his skin again, search the contours of his face and neck and other parts of him that I’m suddenly not afraid to think about.
He kisses me back, the ribbon peeking from his fist. Dark clouds swirl outside as I press into him. My hair splays out and my purple coat floats upward. I suddenly feel… weightless.
At the same time, he whispers to me. “Marbella Mercy, I give you my heart.”
The wind tugs at me, insistent, my coat billowing. “Baelen Rath, I—”
As I speak, the ribbon slips from his fingers, picked up by the wind, stolen right out of his fing
ertips. He snatches at it, but it whips upward. He steps out onto the ledge, chasing the twirling blue material. But I don’t care about that scrap of cloth. All I care about is what I need to tell him: I love you.
I chase after him, closing the distance between us, tugging him to a stop and hurtling into him. He throws his arms around me and we let the ribbon swirl upward, high above us, disappearing into the darkness.
I say, “I don’t need it. I only need you.”
He leans down to kiss me but as I tilt my head back to accept his kiss…
A flash of light streaks high in the sky.
It’s so bright that it tears the sound out of my throat. It’s so sudden I don’t have time to feel fear. It’s so savage it drives the air from my lungs. It crackles and shrieks, drowning every other sound, filling me with a silent scream.
There’s only reflex. Only instinct. Only knowing that Baelen’s body protects me—that the lightning will strike him, kill him, and I can’t let that happen. I push him away from me, away from the strike, with all the strength I have. He registers shock and surprise that I shoved him, but at the same time he follows my line of sight upward, sees the lightning, sees me standing beneath it…
As electricity lights up the space around us it illuminates his eyes and all the fear in them, fear I’ve never seen him show before. Fear for me the same as I feel for him. He swivels and tries to get back to me, tries to cover me with his body again even though I don’t want him to. But his feet collide with the rocky outcrop.
He slips on the wet rocks…
falls…
smashes his head against the overhanging stone…
“Bae—!” The lightning slams into me, catching me in its burning rays. Pain rips through me, tearing me apart, sharp as a thousand daggers, hot as burning pokers, tearing me limb from limb. A scream shrieks through me, slashing through my throat.
