by Kady Hunt
The guy mumbles something that I can’t make sense of so I continue. “I know,” I say. “It sucks, doesn’t it? First you almost get killed in that stupid fight and now you’re going to have to die again; properly this time, because you really didn’t do it right the first time, Bob.”
Sons and Fathers
HOLDEN
Zaff is already pouring himself a drink when I enter his office. When he sees me he comes over to me and gives me a big hug so I have no choice but to hug him back just a little. “I knew you’d come,” Zaff says, happily, leading me to the sofas. “I know you’re dying to talk to me just as much as I am, son.”
“Can we hold off on the whole ‘son’ thing for now?” I say, sitting down.
Zaff looks hurt but quickly covers it up. “Would you like to eat something?” he says. “Harlow tells me you like Italian. There’s a lovely little Italian place downstairs, right next to the diner. I can order us some food, we’ll share a meal father and son, what do you say?”
I say nothing.
He seems to have realized his mistake. “Sorry,” he says. “I need to teach myself how to call you something other than son. Don’t worry Holden, I’m working on it okay? If it makes you uncomfortable, we won’t—”
“It does.”
“Okay then.”
“How does Harlow know what I like?”
“I’m not going to lie,” Zaff says. “I had him follow you around for a while. But I only did it because I wanted to make sure no one was following you before I contacted you.”
“Why would someone follow me?”
“Lots of reasons, Holden. You’re about to become the heir of a drug empire. Everyone’s going to want a piece of that. Some people may even try to harm you.”
“And who’re you in all this?”
“Holden, I’m just looking out for you.”
“Cut the crap. Look, don’t take me for a fool. My mother is a lot of things, but I know she loves me. I know she would never do anything to harm me. If she took me away from you, there must have been a reason.”
“There was,” Zaff says.
“Tell me. You said no secrets. If that’s really true then tell me why she did it.”
“Maybe it’s better if you ask your mother that.”
“I’m asking you.”
He takes a long swallow of the drink. “When I turned eighteen, my father died and left me with the business. A business I didn’t even know he had, until he died. My parents kept it a secret from me and my brothers but there was no choice. I was the eldest and my father made the arrangements for the business to come to me. I was eighteen years old, Holden and your mother was pregnant with you. Of course it wasn’t planned, none of it was and I told myself I’d love you and your mother no matter what but when the business fell to me, Holden, I was—overwhelmed. You don’t know how hard it is to manage a family of over three hundred members and that’s just the main people I’m talking not the temps my people hire sometimes. So, I had to step up. I had my brothers to look after, my family, you and your mother—I told myself I could handle it but I couldn’t. Started failing at everything. Lost the business, because no one would trust a guy who wasn’t reliable and everyone started leaving me, except for the few people who had always been loyal to my father like Harlow.
I failed your mother too, Holden.”
Love is Blindness
MIA
“It’s like the millionth time you’ve looked at your phone, Mia!” Selena says, as we wait for our breakfast to arrive. We’re at our favorite coffee place and even though I didn’t want to go Selena forced me to do it. I’m not really a morning person but I’ve been ditching Selena for a while now because of Teague, I didn’t want to do it again this morning.
“It’s just strange, Selena. This isn’t like Teague at all.”
“He’s a guy, Mia. All guys do this at some point.”
“Not Teague.”
“Right.”
“Don’t talk that way, okay?” I say, placing my phone aside. “Teague and I, we’re not like other couples. There must be something going on, or he would have called.”
“Do you want to go check on him?” Selena asks. “We could go by his place.”
“I already checked on the way here. He wasn’t there.”
“That’s strange.”
“That’s what I just said, Selena.”
“Did you check with Sebastian?” Selena says. “Or Holden? Daniel?”
“No one knows where he is,” I say. “Sebastian wasn’t picking up.”
“You know,” Selena says. “I think I finally had something with Sebastian.”
Selena is my best friend and she’s been harboring a crush on Sebastian since middle school. Only she never had the guts to tell him, and Sebastian’s not much for hints. He was known to be celibate. The only reason he was still hanging out with the in-crowd was because he was friends with us and also because his family was rich. Honestly, if it wasn’t for us he would have been a total nerd. That was probably the reason he had never really taken any interest in Selena, and never even showed concern when she dated people from our school or otherwise. So, it was a little strange hearing Selena felt one of her ‘connections’ with Sebastian at the party. “Tell me all about it!” I say, excitedly.
“Well,” Selena says. “We danced the whole night! And he was extra sweet, you know? He dropped me home and everything when I got a bit too drunk.”
“You mean when you got a bit too drunk on purpose?”
“Well, if that’s how you want to see it then yeah.”
I grin. “So?” I ask. “Did he kiss you? Did he at least ask you out again?”
“No,” Selena says. “But you know, Sebastian. He would never take advantage of a drunken girl.”
“Even though you got drunk on purpose.”
“Whatever. The point is we clicked. I know it. I can feel it, Mia.”
Selena is still going on when I get a call from Sebastian. “Speak of the devil,” I say, picking up. “Sebastian?”
“Hey,” he says, and I can tell something’s not right.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Well,” I say. “Teague never came home last night. He said he would, so I was waiting for him. I thought he might have gone back to his place but he wasn’t there either.”
“Oh,” Sebastian says. “That’s actually why I called. Teague spent the night at my place.”
“Why?”
“Because he was drunk,” Sebastian says. “And he kind of passed out and I had a few drinks in me as well.”
“Wasn’t he supposed to go to some training routine?”
“We went out for drinks after the routine.”
“Why didn’t he call me himself? He could have just called or texted me last night so I wouldn’t have to worry.”
“He lost his phone.”
“He lost his phone?”
“Yeah…I think so. Well, it might be in the car or something but we can’t find it. We’ll look harder though.”
“Do you want me to come over?”
“Uh, I kind of have plans to go somewhere. And Teague’s still passed out.”
“Well, okay. Fine. Will you tell him to call me when he wakes up?”
“Of course I will. I just called because I didn’t want you to worry.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it, Sebastian.”
I hang up and Selena is staring at me. “What?”
“Sebastian says they went out drinking after the training session, Teague must have gotten drunk and passed out at Sebastian’s place.”
“Well, so he’s fine.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t seem happy about it.”
“No…I mean…it’s not that. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just overthinking this whole thing. Never mind.”
“No, tell me.”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Sebastian sounded a little off.”
/> “Off?”
“I can’t explain. It’s just…I’d feel better if Teague called me himself.”
“If he doesn’t,” Selena says. “You know where Sebastian lives.”
“Yeah, but I don’t want to do that. It makes me look a little obsessive.”
“Come on,” Selena says. “It will give me a reason to see Sebastian again!”
“You are shameless, Selena.”
“Thank you,” she grins as the breakfast arrives.
But suddenly, I’ve lost my appetite.
My sixth sense keeps saying there’s something going on and no matter how much I try to shove that thought, it still keeps rearing its ugly head and my head is filled with doubt. I tell myself that this is just a one-time thing. Teague must have been too drunk so he didn’t want to show up at my place. That’s understandable, right? I mean, I’ve known him for years and he’s never lied to me, not once. So I have no reason to doubt what Sebastian just said to me. But that nagging feeling doesn’t go away.
“What’s wrong, Mia?” Selena asks. “Are you still upset?”
“I’m fine,” I say, and force myself to smile and take a bite of the food.
I’m back to glancing repeatedly at my phone again, hoping Teague will call.
Keeping Secrets
HOLDEN
I’m putting on my shoes early that morning when I hear someone coming into my room. “Hi, Mom.” I straighten my pants and get up, take a final look in the mirror.
“You’re all dressed up,” Mom says. “Going somewhere?”
“I have a brunch meeting,” I say, cuffing my sleeves. “With a new client.”
“Holden,” Mom says, coming over to the bed and sitting on it so we can see each other’s reflections in the mirror. “I love that you’re taking interest in your Dad’s business and going to work every day. I mean you’re actually meeting a client for brunch, that’s commendable, sweetheart.”
I start setting my hair. “Thanks.”
“But can we talk about something that you’ve been avoiding ever since you found out about it?”
“What?”
Mom gets up and corrects some invisible crease from the suit by pressing lightly along my shoulder. “Your Dad’s real business,” she says. “The one he wanted you to take responsibility for.”
“What’s the matter, Mom?” I say, sarcastically. “Tired of shooting holes through people’s bodies and want me to get my hands dirty now?”
“You know it’s not as simple as that, Holden.”
“I know,” I say. “But can we take this up another time, please? I’m really getting late for the meeting.”
“Holden,” Mom says. “Your father wanted—”
“Mom!”
“Fine.”
She almost leaves the room and then stops. “You’re still going to see him?”
“Who?”
“Zaff, Holden. Are you going to continue seeing him?”
I can hear my phone vibrating on the nightstand but I make no move to pick it up.
I know it’s my biological father calling to confirm the brunch meeting. “No.”
I don’t know if Mom actually bought the lie, or if she’s simply exhausted fighting with me but she leaves at last and I close the door.
I go to the nightstand and pick up my phone. There are several missed calls from Zaff’s number just as I’d expected and I call him back. “Hey, kid!” Zaff said, the same excitement in his voice that he has every time he sees me. “Hurry up! I’m getting a little lonely here all on my own!”
“I’m on my way,” I say, and place the phone in my pocket.
As I’m leaving I take one last look at the mirror.
But I can’t even recognize the face that I see.
The Brunch
HOLDEN
My father has really gone all out with the whole brunch meeting. Expensive wine, expensive food, expensive place—Harlow is nowhere to be seen but I can see Ronnie lingering about in the restaurant area of the club.
Zaff meets me the same way, a big warm hug and lots of smiles. But I can’t give him any of that back.
“How’s your weekend going?” Zaff says and I can tell that he’s had to delete the word ‘son’ from the sentence after a lot of effort.
“Not bad,” I say. “I had to lie to Mom about you.”
“I’m sorry,” Zaff says. “I didn’t mean to cause trouble between you two.”
“We’re fine. I guess secrets have kind of become my lifestyle now.”
“The business we’re in, secrets can be both valuable and dangerous. You spill to the wrong person, you don’t spill to the right person, and you find yourself in a tight spot that you will never get out of. Secrets have power, Holden. If you know how to use it.”
That’s the same spiel Harlow gave me not too long ago so now I know where he got it from. Not much of a surprise if you ask me. A guy like Harlow couldn’t be doing a lot of thinking on his own. He’s just a glorified minion. He acts, dresses, talks the way my father…my biological father wants him to act, dress and talk.
We have wine and the food is amazing, and Zaff and I talk for hours about normal stuff—the weather, football and presidential debates.
For a while, it’s almost normal.
Father and son having brunch.
I know I used that word, or those words, but give me a break. It’s the first time in years that I’ve seen the man I’ve only heard bad stories about from my mother. And yet, I like spending time with him more than I care to admit. Is it wrong to want normal sometimes? Is it too much to ask? But as it turns out those moments of normalcy that I was enjoying turned out to be far too fleeting.
“When are you joining the business?” Zaff asks.
“I already have,” I say. “I’m going to work every day and I’m sitting in the CEO’s seat, the same office Dad used to occupy when he was alive.”
“I’m not talking about that business, Holden.”
And with that one tiny statement, all my hopes of this being a normal father-son brunch have disappeared. I knew this was too good to be true. Zaff is on an agenda. I can smell it. But there’s nothing I can do about the fact that I still want to find out for myself. “I’m going to tell you the same thing I told my mother,” I say. “I don’t want any part of Dad’s business; the Danvers Drug Empire can go to hell for all I care. I’m going to do what I went to college for: Business Management. I’m going to make sure Danvers Enterprise becomes so huge no amount of drug money will be big enough for me to worry about.”
“You really don’t know a thing about the business, do you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Holden,” Zaff says. “You think that’s a choice you’re allowed to make? If that’s really what you think, then I feel bad for you. But I feel worse for the man who raised you, Holden because he definitely should have done a better job of it.”
“What’s that supposed to imply?” I say. “You think my father raised some kind of pussy, is that it? That’s your mature opinion? You think your berating me about it is going to change my mind? Then you really know nothing about me, Mr. Heliot.”
Zaff tries to calm himself down. “Look Holden,” he says. “Your father may have tried his best to raise you, and maybe he never wanted you to be part of the drug business and that’s why he kept it from you, or maybe it was your mom’s decision and she thought she would protect you, I have no idea. But there’s this thing called fact, Holden. The reality. You are a drug lord’s sole heir. If you don’t accept this reality, then do so at your own peril. But don’t come running to me when you find that I was right and that your parents were both wrong to keep this from you. I was eighteen when my father told me who we were. And I hated it, Holden. I hated him. I blamed him for changing my life, for fucking it all up. But now, I see why he did it. I see it and I’m trying to do the same for you because you’re my son, and regardless of how many times you call me Zaff or Mr. Heliot, I will remain your fathe
r. I want to protect you.”
He gets up and places the money for the bill on the table.
“Because in case you haven’t noticed Holden, we’re not in Kansas anymore.”
Monsters Without a Clue
TEAGUE
My fingers are itching to dial Mia’s number and my ears are dying to hear her voice. But I’ve barely picked up my phone when Sebastian snatches it from me. “Not so fast!” he says. “Have you decided what you’re going to tell her first?”
“I don’t care!” I yell. “I’ll just tell her the truth!”
“That you almost killed someone last night and then your cousin helped cover it up?”
Oh my God, when he puts it like that…I’m a monster. How do you even begin telling someone that? I feel a knot inside my chest that has nothing to do with the physical pain because I’ve taken enough painkillers since waking up to silence the physical shit.
“Teague,” Sebastian says. “You lied to her. About where you were going. Now if you tell one more to save your ass, and save Mia from hurt, I don’t think that’s such a bad idea.”
“Last night,” I say. “It was the first time I ever lied to her. I don’t even know what came over me. I just…I was addicted. And I wanted to feel that rush…that I felt last time in the cage…I wanted to…fuck…and I knew she wasn’t going to let me go if I told her. I knew that, so I had no choice but to lie!”
“You did have a choice. You chose to go there, Teague. If you hadn’t, none of this would have happened.”
“Fuck. How do I fix this, Sebastian?”
“Well,” Sebastian says. “First, we have to come up with a solid excuse for where you are for the next…I don’t know…however long it’s going to take for you to look less like something Victor Frankenstein created in his lab.”
At this time, I would usually be pacing about the room but I can’t even do that. My leg is fucked up. I know I almost killed him last night, but Bob did some serious damage last night. But that’s why I chose Bob. Because he was a challenge. Because I had gotten sick of winning every fight ever since I started this, and I wanted more. Everyone said it was a bad idea because they knew what Bob was capable of. Apparently, no one was counting on my homicidal tendencies. No one, including me. I still can’t believe everything that happened, actually happened, it all seems like a dream. One minute I was in the cage and the next, Bob was on the floor and I had beaten the shit out of him, literally.
