A fucking criminal who wasn’t a sure bet.
A man who didn’t want her pity but rather for her to understand, she was everything. She wasn’t the break in a love song, she was the entire sonnet. More than just another tragic chord like Savannah.
Our perfect day was tainted by my confession and Kelly hasn’t been the same. She’s shut down and the forced smile I spent years trying to make go away suddenly was back. Staring at her, watching as she flips through a magazine, I decide I’ve had enough.
“C’mon,” I say, tossing my sunglasses onto the blanket.
Lifting her head, she stares at my extended hand.
“Where are we going?”
“It’s time to get you wet,” I reply. The innuendo isn’t lost on her and she cocks an eyebrow. Impatiently I take her hands and pull her to her feet. “Look at you,” I tease. “My greedy little girl who always has my cock on her mind.”
“Well, if you’re offering…” she replies. It’s the first real smile she’s given me in over an hour and it’s not enough.
“Later,” I promise. “First, I want to take you in the ocean and kiss you under the water.”
Releasing my hands, she takes a step back and her pretty face falls.
“No,” she says fearfully.
“You don’t want to go in the water?” I probe, trying to understand, really wishing women came with a handbook.
“I can’t go in the water.”
“Because?”
“I just can’t,” she snaps, dropping back onto the blanket. The first thought that crosses my mind is that it’s a woman thing. Like, her period or some shit. The girl can rebuild a Harley by herself but, ask her to buy feminine products and she turns as red as a tomato. The pharmacist thinks I have a tampon fetish because I’m there every month like clockwork, stocking up.
“Kelly—,” I start.
Cutting me off, she blows out an exasperated breath.
“Why can’t you just leave it alone?”
“Because you’re acting crazy. All I asked you to do is go in the water with me,” I defend. “Are you mad at me?”
I suppose it would be understandable. I did fucking dump a dead ex-girlfriend and a junkie father on her. All in one day no less.
“I can’t swim,” she whispers, turning her cheek. The confession shouldn’t make me want to kiss her and I sure as fuck, shouldn’t be smiling.
“I can teach you,” I say simply, dropping to my knee. Eager to give her something in return after she’s given me purpose, I turn her chin and force her eyes back to mine. “Let me teach you.”
“You don’t get it, Linc. I can’t swim because I’m terrified of the water,” she reveals, her eyes filling with tears. “My dad didn’t just die in a car accident. His car went over a cliff and he drowned.”
Shocked by the revelation, I pull her into my arms and try to conjure up a response.
“It’s stupid, I know,” she cries against my chest.
No one’s fears are insignificant and without merit. Often what scares one person, doesn’t scare another and it’s hard to fathom why something as natural as water can terrify another but tragedy will do that. It is its own breed of torture in the purest form.
“It’s not stupid, baby,” I tell her, leaning back to cradle her face. “I’m just surprised is all.”
Sniffling a sob, she wipes her cheeks with the backs of her hands. The vulnerability in her eyes breaks my heart and I want so bad to help her. To be the strength she needs to find the courage to overcome her fear. To lay her dad’s tragedy to rest and find peace.
“I guess today is a day full of surprises,” she murmurs.
“It seems so,” I reply, tucking her hair behind her ears. I guess it’s my turn to wish she would’ve told me sooner. At least then, I wouldn’t have taken her to the beach.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I wanted today to be special for you but all I’ve managed to do is fuck everything up.”
“You didn’t fuck anything up,” she says, softly. “Every day we spend together is special to me, Linc. I don’t need elaborate gestures, I just need you. It’s never mattered where we are, if we’re home, on your bike or at the beach, I just want to be wherever you are.”
“I don’t deserve you.”
“That’s not true. You were made for me and I was made to annoy you,” she says. This time the smile she gives me is genuine and I realize as broken as we are, we’re right. Right for one another. I was made to love her.
“Hey,” I tell her. “You know that five-year plan of yours?”
“You mean our five-year plan,” she corrects.
“Feel like adding to it?”
I was playing with fire and I didn’t give two fucks. I would make this girls dreams come true or I’d die trying.
“Always,” she replies. Turning around, she settles her back against my chest and wraps my arms around her. “I’ve been meaning to tell you since we’re getting our own place I want us to get a puppy.”
“You want a dog?”
“Yes, and I want to dye her tail pink to match my hair. I was thinking something along the lines of a poodle.”
“Kelly, I’m not walking a poodle with pink hair. I might as well cut my dick off. Now, a Great Dane or a German Shepard I can get on board with.”
“Fine but we’re dying her tail pink.”
“You can’t dye the dogs tail pink. When we have a daughter, you can dress her up, buy her all the pink bows you want and when she’s twenty-six I’ll even agree to let you dye her hair any color you both decide.”
Glancing over her shoulder, she lifts her hand to my face.
“A daughter, huh? Is that part of the five-year plan too?”
“It can be,” I reply, bending my head to kiss her nose. “You want kids, Pinky?”
“I think so,” she whispers. “I’m just scared I’ll mess them up like my mother messed me up.”
“Nothing wrong from where I’m standing.”
“You’re sitting.”
“You’re a pain in my ass,” I retort, nuzzling her neck. “You’ll be a great mom. You want another confession?”
“I don’t know if we can handle anymore.”
Probably not but, I tell her anyway.
“I can’t wait to get you pregnant.”
It’s true. When we thought she might be pregnant I was scared shit but, I was also disappointed when the results came back revealing she wasn’t.
“You’re making me horny,” she teases.
Laughing, I slide my hand down her stomach and under her bikini bottoms. Finding her clit, I massage it with the pad of my finger.
“Linc,” she rasps. “Anyone can see.”
“Let them,” I growl. “I want to add one more thing to the plan,” I say, sliding two fingers inside her pussy.
“Hmm,” she moans as I nip her ear.
“Let me help you face your fear, Kelly,” I rasp against the shell of her ear. “It doesn’t have to be now,” I add sliding my fingers in and out of her. “If it takes years to do then fine but, let me be the one that helps you get over it. I promise you, I’ll keep you safe,” I finish.
Stilling my hand, I keep my fingers motionless inside her and wait for her to agree.
“Linc,” she whimpers as I press my thumb against her clit.
“Say yes and I’ll give you what you want, baby.”
“You play dirty.”
“Maybe,” I agree, circling my thumb. “Say yes and I’ll finger fuck you in front of all these people,” I swear, sucking on the skin below her ear.
“Yes,” she whispers.
One word, a simple promise and we were back to being us.
It was enough to believe nothing could break us.
Not my past or her fears.
Not the club.
Nothing.
Chapter Nineteen
Age: 24
Threading my fingers through Kelly’s hair, I held her head steady and lifted my hips, fu
cking her mouth. Hitting the back of her throat, she gagged on my cock.
“Take it,” I growled, pushing deeper.
Obeying, she stared up at me with watery eyes and dug her nails into my ass as she sucked me deeper.
God Almighty.
This girl.
As much as I was ready to come down her throat, I willed myself to hang on a little longer and pushed her off my cock.
“Now ride me, baby,” I said, diverting my eyes toward my cock. Hard as steel and covered in her saliva, it waited for her sweet cunt. Lifting my head, I watched her wipe her mouth with the back of her hand and straddle me. With one knee on each side of my body, she positioned herself over me and I stared at her pussy. Wet from my mouth and the two orgasms I already gave her, she was just as ready for me as I was for her.
Bracing her hands on my chest, she lowered herself onto my cock and I watched in fascination as the head disappeared between her lips.
“Fuck, this never gets old,” I grunted as she dropped all the way down and swallowed every inch of steel. Adjusting to the feel of me, she slid her hand down the front of her body, finding her clit. “That’s it baby, work that pussy,” I hissed.
Holding my gaze, she stroked herself a few more times before splaying her palms flat against the wall. Her tits hung in my face, begging for my mouth as she slid up and down on my cock. Knowing neither of us would last much longer, I grabbed her hips and arched off the bed. Our skin slapped together as I pumped into her. Pink hair draped our faces like a curtain and I lifted one hand from her hip to push it away, needing to look at her.
Her eyes widened as she clenched around me, chanting my name as she came.
“Come with me,” she begged, pushing down on me once more. Grabbing the back of her head, I brought her mouth down to mine and gave her one more thrust before my dick started to spasm, filling her with my come. Crashing, I wound an arm around her and as she fell forward. I touched my hand to her back, pressing her closer to me.
“I love you,” she panted into my neck.
Catching my breath, I opened my mouth to tell her I loved her more but, before I got the chance all hell broke loose.
You see, Satan doesn’t allow love.
Something everyone in the clubhouse learned the second bullets sprayed through the windows. Clinging to me, Kelly screamed in fear.
“What’s happening?” she cried as I pushed her off me.
“Get down on the ground,” I shouted, scrambling out of the bed. I grabbed the first pair of shorts I saw and quickly slid them on. Taking my gun off the nightstand, I loaded it and glanced over my shoulder to make sure Kelly was listening.
“Don’t fucking move,” I demanded.
“Where are you going?”
“Just stay here,” I roared. Keeping my gun cocked, I rounded the bed and found Kelly on the floor, her knees tucked against her chest as she sobbed. Over the deafening sound of the gunfire, I heard my brothers in the distance, shouting for help.
Duty called loud and clear but, I ignored it.
Leaving my girl shaking on the floor, wasn’t an option for me. Falling to my knees, I chose Kelly over my club. Grabbing the comforter from the bed, I covered her quivering body before I laid over her and used my body as a shield. My lips found her ear, and I assured her repeatedly that everything would be okay.
Ten minutes passed before the gunfire came to a stop. Still, I didn’t move until I heard Shady scream for help.
“Is it over?” Kelly cried.
“I think so but don’t move just in case.”
Chaos ensued outside, causing me to move off Kelly.
The door flew open.
Time stopped.
Life changed.
Quick on my feet, I pointed the gun at the intruder and wrapped my finger around the trigger. Frozen in my tracks, my eyes landed on Shady. Standing in the doorway covered in blood, he cradled his girlfriend’s bullet ridden body.
“Help me,” he rasped.
There was no helping him.
Just like there was no helping the innocent victim lying dead in his arms.
Now here we are a week later, laying Shady’s old lady to rest.
Having witnessed murder and mayhem before becoming a Knight, I was no stranger to death. Burying people was part of my job description and I learned to turn a cheek. That being said, I never took part in a funeral for a fallen brother or sister until today.
It started with a closed casket viewing which was held in the clubhouse instead of a funeral home. Unlike a civilian memorial, there were no flowers surrounding the coffin. Two men, me being one of them, stood on the sides of the wooden casket guarding the body.
From coast to coast, brothers came to offer their condolences to Shady and pay their respects to a woman they never met—including Wolf. Standing between his sister and Kelly, his eyes meet mine and I wonder if he can read the questions reflected in my eyes. Does he fear for his niece’s life the same way I do or is he immune to death and destruction? Does the mayhem ever end or is this the way of life for us?
The reverend steps in front of the coffin and opens the tiny book of prayers, asking us all to bow our heads in prayer. Tearing my eyes away from Wolf, I look at Kelly and watch as she makes the sign of the cross. As the sea of black all bow their heads, she lifts hers. Our eyes locks and the fear I see mirrors mine. The urge to abandon my duty and comfort her taunts me but, I remain rooted to my side of the casket. It’s been a pattern of mine since the ambush. Conflicted between my love for Kelly and the unforgiving truth that she could’ve suffered the same fate as Shady’s woman.
Logically, I know she was part of this life before I ever showed my face on Satan’s doorstep. This place was her home, and it’s all she knows. I’ve laid awake every night since the ambush, telling myself she would’ve been at risk regardless of her involvement with me. It doesn’t ease my conscience though. As men, I think we’re all born with the natural need to protect. It can be a man’s fortune, his woman or his family but, every man has something he fights to keep safe. He might spend his whole life doing it and it may end in a losing battle but when he leaves the earth at least he can say he tried.
For men like Wolf and Sin, it’s their club and the constitution for which it stands. It’s the brothers and sisters they call family and swore to protect. And, as the casket is lowered into the ground, Sin loses his battle. Shady loses too but, there’s one difference. He has a choice whereas Sin does not. You see, Sin made his choice a long time ago when he took that gavel. He sacrificed his life and his soul for every man and woman here today. His loss won’t end here today. I’m sure throughout the course of his life, he will lose many more battles but, Shady doesn’t have to.
He can lay his girl to rest and decide never to lay another innocent life in the dirt. He can walk away from this grave and never attach himself to another woman or he can ride the wind with the devil on his tail.
Sadly, I can say I’ve been in his shoes. I’ve walked away from death and damned myself to hell but, I made the choice never expecting to find love again. I didn’t think I could love Kelly as fiercely as I do. Naively, I thought losing Savannah meant I lost my ability to feel entirely. Now I got this girl, and she’s everything.
She’s the air in my lungs.
The blood in my veins.
The one thing I will spend my whole life fighting to protect.
The silence stretches across the cemetery as Shady bends his knees. Grabbing a fist full of dirt, he rises to his full height and closes the distance between him and the coffin. Opening his palm, the dirt trickles over the wood.
“Ride with the angels,” he rasps.
It the words that bring the funeral to a conclusion and me to Kelly. Taking her hand in mine, I drag her away from Wolf and lead her to my bike.
When a man chooses to let go, he gives himself one final memory to carry with him. For me, it’s this. It’s Kelly on the back of my bike. Her arms wrapped tightly around my middle, her ch
in on my shoulder as we ride the wind one last time. It’s her lips on mine when we reach the clubhouse and I help her dismount. It’s the way she whispers in my ear that she loves me. It’s the way I hold her hand for the final time.
“I’m going to change out of these clothes,” she says softly.
“Go,” I tell her. “I’ll come look for you after.”
It’s the last kiss I press to her lips.
It’s watching her walk away knowing I’m about to break both our hearts.
Finding Wolf at the bar, I take a seat next to him. Silently, he pours me a shot of whiskey and pushes it toward me. Lifting the glass, I stare into his narrowed eyes and salute him before knocking back the shot.
“Shame what happened,” he mutters, pouring me a refill.
Two days ago, he showed up unexpected as usual. I thought it was just another impromptu visit from the man who invested so much time in me because he had no idea about the ambush. Joanne had called him but, he was off the grid and last night after Kelly fell asleep, I found him sitting exactly where he is now, drowning his sorrows in Sin’s whiskey.
In all the time that I’ve known Wolf, I’ve learned the man doesn’t react to death the way the rest of us do. He keeps his emotions in check and does what he’s gotta do. An innocent girl may have died but, that’s not what tore him up and it sure as hell, wasn’t what brought him down the coast.
We drank in silence, topping off the bottle before he revealed his troubles to me. His charter was suffering and on the brink of destruction. Losing brothers left and right, they were sinking. One of the more recent attacks also found an innocent woman as the victim. Luckily, she didn’t lose her life or the life of her unborn child. Needing revenge and knowing they didn’t have the manpower to stay afloat, Wolf volunteered himself to find a bunch of nomads willing to settle down in Brooklyn. A tough task when everyone knows you’re on the balls of your ass and trying to pitch a suicide mission.
Pushing my empty glass aside, I turn to him.
“When do we leave?” I ask.
“We’ll head out before the sun rises,” he replies, pausing a beat. “You sure this is what you want?”
Loner (The Nomad Series Book 4) Page 14
