"That would pretty much have to be true. It couldn't be any worse. Not unless your last school was a prison."
He didn't laugh. He just looked at me kind of intensely. "I don't have any friends here yet. Something really weird happened to me yesterday. Very weird. Want to hang?"
"Sure. So, what -"
"Cauliflower or green bean casserole?" the lunch lady asked me. "Come on, little Marco, let's keep it moving."
37 "The casserole definitely," I said. "It sounds so French and all." I turned to David and said, "You know the English word for casserole? Slop."
Again, no laugh.
We got our food and threaded our way through the boisterous zoo that was the lunchroom. There were a couple of empty tables at the far side of the room. I sat down. David sat across from me.
I had to act cool, not too interested in his story. It was easy because I basically knew all about it.
"Remember that blue box I showed you yesterday?"
I pretended to think. "Yeah. Now I do, yeah."
He leaned forward. "Last night someone tried to steal it. And you'll never guess how they did it. Trained birds."
"Say what?"
"Two birds flew in my bedroom window and tried to get away with the box. Fortunately my cat, Megadeth, went after one."
"You named your cat Megadeth?"
"I just wish my snake had been out of his box. He's had his venom taken out, but I bet it would have scared those birds."
"Snake?"
"Yeah, he's really cool. He's a cobra. You're not even supposed to be able to own them, but
38 my dad got it for me. He goes overseas a lot. He's a spy. But don't tell anyone."
This was getting to be a lot to absorb. A cat named Megadeth, a cobra, and a father who was possibly a spy?
"Ooookay," I said.
"Look, I know it sounds weird and all, but those birds were not ordinary birds. One of them opened a sliding glass door. It was an eagle, I think."
"Why would anyone want to steal that blue box?"
He shook his head. "I don't know. But it must be valuable, right? Or else why would someone go to all the trouble of using trained birds?"
I nodded. "Makes sense." Yeah, right. Makes perfect sense: burglar birds. There are times when I realize my real life has gotten so insane that I can't even be sure what is truly insane.
"Anyway, I bet it's worth a lot of money, so I'm going to try and sell it."
That sent a nice chill up my spine. "Sell it?"
"Yeah. I posted a 'for sale' notice on a couple Web pages last night after all this went down. I described it. And I described those symbols, the ones that look like foreign writing? This morning before school I checked, and there was already an answer. Some guy says he wants to see it. He
39 says he'll pay good money. Says he'll go anywhere, anytime."
That did more than give me a chill. That stopped my breathing for about ten seconds.
"You did what?"
"I'm thinking I should have some backup, you know? Someone to cover me, in case anything goes down. You're the only guy I know here."
"You didn't give this guy your address, did you?"
David smirked. "I'm not a moron. The guy could just rip me off while I'm stuck here at school." He shook his head and gave me a sly leer. "I set it up on a timer so the E-mail with my address won't go out till right before I get home."
"It's on automatic?" I said.
He nodded. "I send the E-mail, the guy comes over, and I give you ten percent for helping me out."
"Good plan," I said as calmly as I could. But inside I was having a very different thought that went something like, You IDIOT FREAK! Do you know WHO is going to show up looking for that box?
Of course I didn't say that.
I spotted Jake heading over in my direction. I gave him a small shake of my head, and he turned away.
40 David rattled on, telling the story of the bird invasion. Then moving on to plans for spending the money he was going to make. But I wasn't listening.
In a couple hours the E-mail was going to be sent. And very, very soon after that, David was going to get a visitor he didn't want to meet.
I sat there, looking at David and thinking, How in the world am I going to save your life?
41
I told Jake later during class. He jerked upright, said a word you really shouldn't say in class, and was sent to discuss the matter with the principal.
I spent part of the afternoon finding an opportunity to tell Rachel and Cassie. I had to wait till they were together. Cassie has a calming influence on Rachel.
One thing was clear: We didn't want that E-mail going out. Which meant I was going to be missing the last two periods. Jake made the final decision between fifth and sixth period, by my locker.
"Do it," he said. "Bail. And get to that kid's computer. Kill that E-mail."
42 "He may have security on it, a password," I pointed out. "Maybe I'll swing by and try to get Ax to come along."
Jake nodded. "You're not going to have much time. Better haul. You can use my notes from class later."
"Thanks," I said. "But I think I'll use Cassie's notes. Yours will be all covered with doodles and pictures of jets and tanks."
I know how to get up to the roof of the school, and fortunately, no one was up there. I shoved my outer clothing into my backpack. I'd have to get it later. In five minutes I was in the air.
I knew I was on a desperate, life-and-death mission. But that couldn't totally erase the absolute joy I felt on pushing off from the school roof and feeling the air beneath my wings.
I mean, I'm sorry, but haven't you ever sat in school, wishing you could zoom off into the wild blue? It was just so cool. As long as I didn't consider the possibility that the school might call my dad.
That took away a little of the pleasure.
Plus, the possibility that before this day was over I'd be fighting Visser Three.
And yet it was a mostly sunny day, with some huge cumulus clouds piled miles high in the sky. And the warm air radiating up off the ground lifted me effortlessly higher and higher. Higher
43 and higher, till the houses looked like shoe boxes and cars looked like Matchbox toys.
I turned toward the distant line of forest. It wouldn't be easy finding Ax. He kept out of sight during the day. We were worried some deer hunter would spot him and try to shoot. Or worse, that some Controller might spot him and know what he was.
Now I began to realize that the breeze was blowing against me. Which meant slow going. But Tobias had taught us that sometimes altitude makes up for ground speed. See, if you get high enough, you can use gravity to let you swoop long distances, even against the wind. It's like climbing to the top of a really tall slide. Even if the wind is against you, you can slide to the bottom.
I rode a thermal up and up, as high as I've ever flown. I don't know how far. But far enough that I spotted a small private plane at my same altitude.
I took aim on the forest and went into a long, gentle glide that eventually brought me to my target.
Ax hangs out in about ten square miles of forest. You have any idea how much forest that is? A lot. That's a lot of trees. My osprey eyes saw everything, down to the beetles and worms down on the dead leaves.
44 But even I couldn't see Ax. Not for a long time. Too long.
Now I was nervous. Now I was definitely nervous. I'd been in morph for over an hour, and even when I found Ax I'd have to fly all the way back to -
A flash of movement below!
A deer. No! Not a deer. Not unless deer were turning blue.
I spilled air and headed down.
«Ax! Ax! Is that you? It's me, Marco.»
He stopped running. I was close enough now to see one stalk eye swivel up toward the sky and focus on me.
«Shouldn't you be in school?» he asked.
«What are you, the truant officer? I need your help. Do you think you could get past whatever security someone might have on a PC?»
Ax laughed. Then he stopped. «0h, you are serious. I assumed you were making a joke. I am making an effort to recognize human humor and respond appropriately.»
«Uh-huh.» I landed pretty well on a fallen log, digging my talons into rotting wood and exciting a bunch of termites. «So, can you do it?»
«0f course I can do it,» Ax said. «A human computer? I know you don't mean to insult me, but really, even asking the question is an insult to any Andalite.»
45 I sighed. «Whatever. You need to morph. We need to haul butt.»
«What is the problem?» Ax asked. But he wasn't wasting time. He was already melting, shifting, morphing.
«It's the blue box. If I'm right, in about an hour Visser Three is going to get an E-mail offering him a chance to buy it.»
46
Ticktock. Ticktock. Time was running out fast.
The wind was with us on our trip back to David's house. Just one problem: Have you ever tried to find one house in the middle of a whole subdivision of almost identical houses? From the air? When the only other time you've seen the place was at night?
«Are you lost?» Ax asked me.
«No, we are lost,» I said. «Look for a pool. It was sort of kidney-shaped.»
«A pool? A Yeerk pool?»
«No, just a human pool.»
«I've never heard of such a thing. Are they necessary for reproduction?»
47 «No. But they help you get friends during the summer.»
I spotted a blue, kidney-shaped pool and veered toward it. It looked right. Surely it was the right place.
Only just across the street was an identical house with an identical pool.
I could have cried from sheer frustration. Then, from up above us, came a thought-speak voice. «Ax? And who, Marco? Cassie?»
«Tobias!» I yelled. «What are you doing up there? And how did you know it was us?»
«What I'm doing is riding this excellent thermal. And any idiot would know there's something weird about a northern harrier and an osprey zipping around peeking in people's windows. Good grief. Have you ever heard the word "subtle"?»
«Make fun of me later,» I snapped. «We need to find David's house. Like now!»
«A block to the west,» Tobias said. «Hang tight, I'll show you.»
Down he fell, like a missile coming down on its target. Ax and I flapped to intercept him.
«What's the deal?» Tobias asked.
«He's offering the box for sale over the Internet. He already has one interested party. There's a timed E-mail we have to stop. But I'm worried he'll have it protected by a password. That's why I brought Ax.»
48 «Ah. Urn ... if there's a password, why not just turn off the computer?»
I almost splatted into the rooftop from sheer "duh."
«0h. I guess we could do that,» I said, feeling like possibly the biggest idiot in the world. Of course, duh: Turn off the computer. Or at least yank out the phone cord.
I hate feeling like an idiot.
«It would still be best if we made it look like the E-mail went out. Then if David doesn't get an answer he'll figure, you know, no one was interested^
«How do we get inside the house?» Tobias asked. «All the windows are closed. I'm not splatting into any more windows.»
We were circling above the house, three birds of prey, probably looking like vultures or something. Tobias was right. The windows were all closed. There was plywood in the window Rachel had busted the day before.
I was feeling a little more relaxed now. We had a little more than an hour before the E-mail would go out. Plenty of time.
«0kay, here's what we do. Ax and I will morph to cockroach and crawl in under the back door. Tobias, you stay and make sure nothing eats us.»
Ax and I landed in the backyard. There was a nice, high fence, which was good. And we'd
49 looked in every window and were sure no one was home.
I demorphed by the rusty swing set. In a few minutes Ax and I were ourselves. We walked over to the back door. I knelt down to take a look at the crack beneath the door. There was plenty of room for a cockroach.
"Okay, let's get this over with," I said. I rested my hand on the doorknob, preparing to enter cockroach morph. But then I felt the doorknob slip.
"Hey, these people left the door unlocked," I said. "Come on."
«Nooooo!» Tobias yelled, just as I pushed the door open.
"What's the matter?" I said. "It's open, so -"
WwwwAAAAHHHHH! WwwwAAAAHHHHH!
«Burglar alarm, that's what's the matter!» Tobias yelled.
«What is that unpleasantly loud sound?» Ax wondered.
"Oh, man!" I yelled. "Come on! Let's go! Tobias, let us know if you see cops showing up!"
I rushed inside, with Ax trotting along behind me.
Through the kitchen, with Ax's hooves skittering wildly on the linoleum.
WwwwAAAAH H H H H! WwwwAAAAH H H H H!
Through the carpeted family room.
50
Crash! Ax's tail had caught a lamp. A ceramic lamp. Which was now pieces of ceramic lamp.
WwwwAAAAH H H H H! WwwwAAAAH H H H H!
Up the stairs.
Crash! Crash! Crash! Three little, framed pictures mounted on the stairway walls were swept clean by Ax's tail.
WwwwAAAAH H H H H! WwwwAAAAH H H H H!
"This is working out great!" I yelled in frustration.
«Marco! Ax! Someone's pulling up!»
Into David's room. The computer monitor showed a cool screen saver. I bumped the mouse. Off went the screen saver. I double-clicked on the AOL icon.
Deedly-deedly-deeedly! The phone rang and I jumped about two feet straight up.
WwwwAAAAH H H H H! WwwwAAAAH H H H H!
Deedly-deed -
Someone had answered the phone! I shot a look at Ax. It wasn't him.
WwwwAAAAHHHHH! Wwww -
Someone had turned off the alarm!
And from downstairs I heard a strong, male voice say, "Yes, I'm home now and the alarm was going off. (Pause.) I'm sure I can handle it. (Pause.) No, I'm a law enforcement officer. No need to send one of your guards out here. I'll check it out."
51 Click.
David's father, obviously. Home from work. Home from work as a "law enforcement officer." Home from work with his gun.
I glanced at the screen. The AOL software was loading up. Slowly.
No time to wait. We had to hide. We had to hide me, plus a big, blue scorpion-looking, deer-boy from outer space. And we had to hide us from a guy who knew how to search.
Great.
"Ax! Into the closet and morph something small!" I hissed.
He leaped. I leaped, too, straight underneath the desk. I was going to yank the phone wire out, just to be safe.
But David's desk was one of those desks that has a back piece. I couldn't get to the wires.
"Okay, if anyone is up here, might as well come on out so there are no accidents," David's father said. "I don't want to have to shoot anyone."
I couldn't reach the phone cord.
"Rrrrgghh!" I said in total frustration.
I jumped up, glanced at the screen, dropped to my knees, and rolled under the bed.
From beneath the bed I saw shoes stepping slowly through David's door.
I held my breath.
52 And that's when I realized two really terrible things.
One: In my quick glance at David's monitor, I had noticed something odd. The clock in the lower, right-hand corner was wrong. It was off by an hour.
David's E-mail was going out not in an hour and three minutes, but in three minutes.
Two: David's pet cobra slept under the bed.
53
It slithered up, over the lip of a cardboard box. And let me tell you something: Time really is relative, because I aged about five years in five seconds.
It formed itself into a coil. And then, quite suddenly, up it went! Head flared wide, tongue flickering, it raised up and . . .
>
Bonk!
The cobra hit its head on the bottom of the mattress.
This seemed to leave it feeling puzzled, because it sort of hung there, half up, half down, staring at me like it was all my fault.
I remembered David saying it had been de-
54 poisoned. Or whatever they call it. But how can you trust a kid who'd own a snake?
The snake stared at me with glittering, evil eyes.
The shoes came closer.
What was I supposed to do? I could morph to something small. Like a bug. Like a roach or an ant or a flea. But there was a slight problem with that: I was being eyeballed by a cobra not two feet away! Who knew what snakes might eat?
Then it hit me. The obvious, if slightly insane solution.
I reached my hand for the snake.
Fwapp!
The snake struck! Fangs in my hand, right in the fleshy part between the thumb and forefinger.
"Urgh!" I groaned.
"All right, come out from under there!" David's father said.
I grabbed for the snake and held him tight this time. He began to thrash, slither, wriggle, and just generally be annoying.
"On the count of three, and bring your hands out first!"
Thump!
A muffled noise. I saw the black shoes swivel
55 to face the closet. It was Ax, providing a distraction. Good old Ax!
I held onto that stupid snake and I focused. When animals are acquired, which is when we absorb their DNA, they become calm, relaxed, peaceful. Most of the time, anyway.
But not the snake. No, as I absorbed the DNA and as David's father went to the closet, that lunatic snake kept thrashing like an idiot.
The closet door opened.
"All right, step out here and . . . jeez Louise!"
I heard the sound of a gun being holstered. And then the big black shoes started doing a dance. A little dance called "stomp the bug!"
«Marco! I am in spider morph and this human is attempting to crush me with his artificial hooves !»
I couldn't answer, of course, since I wasn't in morph. All I could do was try to distract David's dad for Ax, like he'd done for me.
So I yanked the cobra back and flung him, across the floor. He went flopping and hissing out into plain view. At which point David's father said, "Ah, Spawn! Get the spider, Spawn!"
Applegate, K A - Animorphs 20 - The Discovery Page 3
