by Lissa Bryan
“Do you want to know if we slept together?”
“I . . . er . . . I . . .”
Carly thought she detected a hint of a blush on his cheekbones, and she was enchanted. “Yes, we did. Does that reduce the number of cans of ravioli you’ll be able to sell me for?”
Justin laughed, but it was a little strained. “Sorry. I was just curious.”
“Why didn’t you just ask?”
Justin opened his mouth to say something and then closed it again.
“What about you?”
He seemed taken aback. “Me?”
“Well, if we’re going to talk about my sexual experiences, shouldn’t yours be open for discussion, too?”
Justin rubbed the back of his neck. “What do you want to know?”
“How old were you when you first did it?”
“Fifteen.”
“I’ll bet you’ve had scads of experience,” Carly said. “Traveling around the world, a woman in every port.”
“You’re thinking of sailors.”
Carly shrugged. “Same difference. Well?”
“Not as much as you might think.”
“Really? Why?”
Justin grinned. “I’m picky.”
“You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet,” Carly quoted, and Justin laughed.
“Speaking of shoes, we need to stop and get you another pair,” Justin said. “You really shouldn’t be wearing sandals to ride a bike.”
“I like these shoes,” Carly said in protest. They were her favorite pair, strappy white leather with pink flowers stitched across the instep. “They’re very comfortable.”
“But not very safe. What if your toe got caught in the chain?”
“That can happen?” Carly looked down in alarm at the gears of her bike and nearly ran off the road into the ditch. She overcorrected and ended up sprawled gracelessly in a bush. Sam let out a sharp yip and bounded over. He sniffed Carly and bumped her with his head as though urging her to get up.
Justin hopped off his own bike and helped Carly to her feet. “Are you hurt?”
“Only my pride,” she muttered. He helped her to her feet, and they froze for an instant with his hands resting on her upper arms. The tension grew. Carly bit her lip, and Justin’s gaze lingered on it for a moment. He seemed about to say something, but he turned and walked to the back of the wagon to begin unloading their camping gear. She caught herself eyeing the back of him as he walked away and forced herself to look away.
“We’ll stop here for the night.” He didn’t look at her as he said it.
“I’m sorry,” Carly whispered. Shadowfax lumbered up to her and snuffled at Carly’s ear, and Carly hid her face against the horse’s neck. She hated that Justin was mad at her, but she guessed she had been kind of dumb to crash her bike like that.
Chapter Four
The animals and Justin were on high alert as they approached Carcross. Something just wasn’t right. It was so silent that Carly could hear the wind whisper through the long grass beside the road and the tiny waves that lapped at the shore of the lake.
Justin took another gun from the wagon, stuck it in the back of his belt, and pulled his T-shirt out over it. He told Carly to check her weapon to make sure it was loaded, and she fumbled through the process while he scanned the town, his eyes sharp and intent.
Beside Carly, Sam let out a soft whine. His ears swiveled as he searched for sounds. Justin cursed. “I don’t like this.”
“Neither does Sam.” Carly tried to reassure the wolf by stroking his soft ears, but he ignored her. Behind them, Shadowfax gave a snort and shook her head.
“I’d leave you here to wait if I thought that would be safer,” Justin murmured. “But I don’t think we should split up right now.”
“Is there someone here?”
Justin nodded. “I think so. No need to assume the worst; it could be someone just wanting to trade, and they’re watching to see if we’re friendly or not.”
“Let’s go around. We don’t need any supplies right now.”
“We can’t go around,” Justin said. “This is the only way across the lake, and we’re leaving the Klondike Highway here. This is the last town you’ll see for a long while.”
“I don’t care about seeing a town. Can we maybe go around once we get on the other side of the bridge?”
“We’ll be all right, Carly. Just don’t wander off.”
The end of the bridge opposite the town had two police cars parked nose to nose to block traffic. Someone had tried to ram their way through in a Chevy Cavalier, and the front of the car was crushed all the way up to the cabin. Carly avoided looking at the interior. Behind the crushed car was a line of vehicles, which stretched all the way across the bridge into the little town. Carly kept an eye on the buildings while Justin scavenged a few things here and there from the cars themselves, canned goods, a few cases of bottled water.
Sam let out another soft whine, and Shadowfax stamped her hooves with a toss of her head, as if to say, “Come on! Let’s go!”
“We’ve got to grab supplies wherever we come across them,” Justin said, and Carly wondered whether he was speaking to the animals or to her.
The last vehicle in the line was a van. It sat just a few feet from the end of the bridge. Justin slid the side door open. “Jackpot!” It was loaded with food and water, even a couple of twelve packs of soda.
A shot rang out and hit the road behind the van. “Down!” Justin shouted at Carly and used the corner of the van as cover while he fired off shots in the direction from which the gunfire had come. Carly was only a couple of steps behind him when the gunfire started, and she immediately crouched down behind the wagon. Shadowfax, who had strolled ahead, let out a squeal of fear at the sudden noise. Sam darted toward Justin just as a man surged up from under the end of the bridge behind them and threw a fishing net over Sam. Carly fumbled for her gun, but she didn’t have Justin’s quick reflexes. The man grabbed her around the waist and yanked her back against him. He pressed a knife to her throat so hard that she felt it burning as it sliced through the top layer of skin before she felt a small trickle of blood.
“Don’t move, bitch,” the man said with a hiss. His sour breath fanned across her face, and Carly gagged.
Justin spun to face them, his back to the van and his gun pointed straight at the man behind Carly. Beside them, Sam snarled and writhed in the net, entangling himself more with every movement.
“Drop it, asshole,” the man spat at Justin. “Or the bitch dies.”
She had seen the icy calm in Justin’s face only once before—when she had been attacked in Fraser. Justin opened his hand, and the gun fell with a clatter to the pavement.
“We got ‘em, Mikey,” the man shouted.
A second man emerged from behind a corrugated metal building with the words “General Store” painted on its pink, false front. He crossed the road to them and grinned at the man holding Carly. “She’s a cutie. We’re going to have a lot of fun with this one.”
“Kill him,” the man holding Carly said in the same mildly contemptuous tone he might have used to direct Mikey to step on a bug.
“Nah, it’s more fun to tie ‘em up and make ‘em watch.” Mikey began poking around in the wagon to see what they had brought.
Then several things seemed to happen all at once. Carly heard the clomping of hooves on asphalt as Shadowfax ambled up to the man holding her. Out of the corner of her eye, Carly saw the horse stop just a few feet away. Her captor glanced back once but ignored the horse, turning his gaze back to Justin. Casually, as though she were munching on some grass, Shadowfax extended her neck and chomped down on the man’s shoulder. He bellowed, and the hand holding the knife to Carly’s throat fell away as he grabbed his shoulder. Carly let her legs go limp before she dropped like a sack of cement to the road in front of his feet. Justin moved so fast she could barely track him. He whipped the gun out of the back of his belt and shot the man wh
o had been holding Carly.
Mikey shouted and tried to bring his rifle up. Shadowfax reared and struck with her front hooves, and Mikey flew back. He slammed into the van behind Justin and collapsed down to the road with a pained moan. Justin shot him twice before he walked over to Carly, who was still sitting on the road. She had a hand clamped to her bleeding neck.
“Let me see,” Justin said and pulled her hand away.
“It’s just a scratch.” Carly was surprised at how calm and steady her voice sounded. Adrenaline pumped through her veins, making her tremble, making her breath come short.
He peered at the cut and then turned to poor Sam, who had ceased to struggle. He panted heavily, his amber eyes pleading. Justin drew out his knife and cut the strands of the net around him. Sam surged free of it and gave Justin a lick of thanks before rushing over to Carly, whom he sniffed all over. He pushed at her with his head, trying to urge her to her feet.
Justin helped her stand. Without a word, he led her over to the wagon and retrieved an alcohol wipe from the medical kit. He dabbed at her cut with it.
“Seems like I’m always patching you up, huh?” Justin’s voice was gentle. He applied a bandage over the cut. “There you go.”
Carly burst into tears.
Justin pulled her into his arms and laid his cheek on top of her head. She distantly heard his soft murmurs and felt him stroke her hair.
“I’m s-sorry,” she gulped. “I d-don’t know w-why I’m crying.”
“Delayed reaction to fear and adrenaline,” Justin said. He released her to get a cloth from the wagon so she could wipe her face. “It’s normal. You have to get it out somehow.”
Carly heard the click of Shadowfax’s hooves as she came over to them. She snorted in Carly’s face and bumped her nose against her shoulder. As Carly petted her, Shadowfax hooked a foreleg over Carly’s hip as though to draw her closer for a hug and laid her head over Carly’s shoulder with a soft rumble.
“Good horse. Thank you for biting that awful man.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Justin, said with wonder in his voice. “I swear to God, you’re like a video game Druid, sending animals to do your bidding.”
Carly let out a shaky laugh. “Bet you’re sorry now that we haven’t found a bear yet.”
“I changed my mind. Add whatever animals you like to our group. In fact, we’ll stop at the next city zoo we come across, and you can take your pick.”
Carly giggled, as he had intended. Justin hugged her again. “Smart of you, dropping down like that.”
“I knew you needed a clear shot.”
“I didn’t know if you’d remembered the second gun.”
Carly shuddered. “We’re lucky they didn’t see you put it back there. What if they’d taken it from you, too?”
“I still had my knife.”
Carly gave a soft snort. “What could you do with a knife from ten feet away?”
Before she could blink, Justin whipped the knife out of its scabbard and flung it at a telephone pole. It buried itself nearly up to its handle.
“Questions?” Justin arched a brow.
Carly’s jaw dropped. She shook her head slightly to clear it and looked around at the little town as he pulled the knife out of the pole. “Justin, can we please just go? I mean, we got some supplies. Can we move on, now?” If this kind of thing didn’t stop, she was going to start developing a phobia about towns.
“I want to check out the store.” Justin picked up an empty backpack from the wagon.
“Justin, no, please.” There was no way she was going in there.
“Stay right here by the door. Shadowfax and Sam will be with you. Look at them—they’re relaxed now. They know all the bad guys are gone. I’ll be quick.” With that, Justin kissed Carly on the top of her head and went through the doorway.
It seemed as though Justin were gone for hours. Carly sat down on one of the benches outside the store. Sam hopped up, sat by her side, and panted, his tongue draped out the side of his mouth. Justin was right, he was relaxed. But, his ears still swiveled as he searched for sounds, and his amber eyes were watchful. Shadowfax, on the other hand, contentedly chomped at the thin strip of grass between the sidewalk and the street.
Justin emerged, his backpack bulging and a shoebox in his hands. “I found you some better shoes.” He withdrew a pair of black moccasin-style shoes with a thick rubber sole. “Size seven, right?”
Carly nodded and slipped off her sandals to try on the pair he’d brought. She took a few steps. “Perfect. Thank you.”
They mounted their bikes, rode down the main street, and turned onto Tagish Road. “There were others in there,” Justin said suddenly.
“What? Other bad guys?”
“No, other victims. There were other travelers who passed this way. I’m glad I killed them, Carly.” Justin shook his head. “I’ve seen this sort of thing before. When the center doesn’t hold, there are people who take advantage of it.”
Carly sucked in a startled breath. “ ‘The center doesn’t hold,’ ” she repeated. “Where did you get that?”
“Hmm?” He looked at her with a small shake of his head.
Her father’s voice echoed in her mind. Things fall apart, Sugar Bear. The center does not hold. Carly swallowed around the lump in her throat. “It was something my father said to me. I just wondered if it was something—I don’t know, something that you guys said in The Unit.”
“Maybe.” Justin thought about it for a moment, as if trying to recall where he’d first heard it. “It was something Lewis said to me once. He was one of our commanders. He said it to me right before—” Justin cut off abruptly. “Right before something I’ll tell you about another day. So, maybe it was a line he used around your father. I don’t know.”
“Justin?” Carly paused, biting her lip, as she wondered how to ask her next question. She could think of no other way but to come right out and ask it. “Does it bother you to kill people?”
Justin was silent for so long that she didn’t think he was going to answer. “Sometimes. The first one is always the hardest.”
She tasted blood from her lip. “I—I need to tell you something, Justin. That man in Fraser wasn’t the first person I killed.” It was so difficult to force out the words, but she had to say them, had to tell him. If she didn’t tell him immediately, she never would. She had to get it out so she’d hopefully never have to discuss it again. Wasn’t confession supposed to be good for the soul? Carly certainly didn’t feel better. She felt awful, and it was very hard to look at Justin to see what his reaction was.
He didn’t look as shocked as she expected him to. He slowed his bike to a halt, and Carly reluctantly stopped, too, though she kept her gaze on the sand dunes beside the road that had once been part of the lake bed. There was a sign nearby that identified it as the “Smallest Desert in the World,” and ordinarily, Carly would have been fascinated with such an odd geological feature, but at that moment she simply stared at it to avoid having to look at Justin.
“What happened to you, Carly? Talk to me, please.”
“I don’t want to.” Now that it came right down to it, she didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe it had been a mistake, saying as much as she had. A small inner voice chided her for chickening out, but it felt like all of her courage had abruptly deserted her.
“I think you need to. Look at me, Carly.”
With effort, she did.
“Do you think I’ll judge you?”
Carly watched as Sam loped off to explore the underbrush along the road. A butterfly flitted through the branches and Sam bounded after it, gleefully jumping and twisting in the air to try to catch it. Carly envied him—that he could take such joy in a simple thing. Perhaps there was a lesson in that. She would have died today if Shadowfax and Justin hadn’t protected her. Or, worse, she might wish she was dead after Mikey and his friend were through with her. Life was such a fragile, precious thing, and it could be gone in an ins
tant, like a puff of wind through dandelion down. She should take pleasure and joy when life offered it to her for she might never get another chance. And she should appreciate the important things, like friendship.
Carly turned to Justin and took a deep breath. “I didn’t mean to. I didn’t want to. It just sort of happened.”
He nodded. “An accident.”
She shook her head and dropped her gaze back to the ground. “I can’t really say that either. My dad didn’t die of the Infection. I killed him.”
Though it was one of the hardest things she had ever done, she looked up and met Justin’s eyes. He wasn’t shocked or horrified. If anything, he looked compassionate. That somehow made it worse, because she didn’t feel as though she was worthy of sympathy. “Why?”
She gripped the handlebars of her bike so tight her knuckles were white. “I was taking care of Dad and Mom. Both of them had the Infection. My dad had begged me to go. He said he and Mom weren’t going to make it, but I couldn’t just abandon them.” Her eyes blurred with tears, and when she blinked, they fell to the dust at her feet. “I was so exhausted I could barely function, and it was so awful that for a while, I almost hoped I’d catch it, too, so it would all be over. And when I went to get something to eat and turned on the TV, I kept seeing these horrific images of what was happening out there, and it just seemed like one endless nightmare. Even now, it seems like a memory of a dream.”
She risked another quick glance up at Justin and saw that he was watching her, waiting to hear the rest of it. There was no condemnation in his eyes, and it gave her the courage she needed to go on, to finish it.
“I must have fallen asleep in the chair beside my parents’ bed. I woke up and it was dark, and my dad wasn’t in the bed. I looked around and saw him standing in front of the bedroom door, his back to me. Just standing there. He was swaying a little, rocking on his feet like a man trying to keep his balance on a boat. I thought if he was out of bed, it must be a sign he was getting better. I said his name, and he turned around—”
Carly’s voice broke, and she had to pause for a few deep breaths before she could go on. “He turned around, and he wasn’t my dad. I mean, he was, but I’d never seen him like that. His face—it was twisted with hate, and he shouted at me in another language. It was like he didn’t even recognize me.”
