by Sable Hunter
Once they were on the move, however, Jenna forgot about her shortcomings and just enjoyed the ride. There was a thrill like no other when she could make her body one with the horse, finding the rhythm to keep her balance as Stormy went through the paces, the wind whipping through her hair. When she lost herself in the show, thoughts of Logan were far enough away to give her peace.
Seven hours south…Logan had no peace.
“Listen up!” Logan rapped the table. “We will score high in this training exercise or I’ll make sure that each of you catch the holiday shift from now till retirement age!”
“What’s up with the chief?” Jason whispered to Liam who had slid down in his seat so as not incur the wrath of their leader.
“He lost his woman, that’s what I heard.”
“Do you two have something to say?” Logan barked – not in the mood for bullshit.
“No, sir!” Jason answered like he was in the military and Logan Gray was his commanding officer.
Logan waved his hand in dismissal. “Just get out there and give the equipment one last check. We’ll run through it again tomorrow.”
He threw down the chalk he’d been holding and stalked off to his office. Yea, he was being an asshole. Taking his troubles out on his men wasn’t the way of a good leader. The truth was – he was going out of his mind. From the moment he’d walked away from Jenna, leaving her curled up on his bed after he’d taken the precious gift of her virginity – he hadn’t laid eyes on her since. She’d left, running to his parents who’d driven her into Austin where she’d been staying with her friend.
Stupidly, he’d given her a day or two like his father had asked, saying she needed time. What he should’ve done, was go to her, storm the walls of her defenses, and demand she listen to him as he apologized. He was a damn fool. Jenna had never hidden the fact that she wanted him and he’d pushed her away twice. Logan didn’t intend to do it a third time.
If he ever found her again.
When he’d gone to Austin to talk to her, she’d been gone. Dixie, the friend, seemed to take almost sadistic pleasure in informing Logan that Jenna was gone and had no desire for him to know where she was, much less follow. Since then, he’d tried everything he could think of, called everyone he knew – to absolutely no avail.
Jenna was gone and it was his own bloody fault. Logan had no one to blame but himself. If he’d left her one message on her cell in the last few weeks, he’d left a thousand. Wherever she was, Jenna did not intend for him to find her.
Carrying on with his day to day life was becoming almost impossible. And that was why his mood had gone to hell in a hand basket.
***
Two months later…
“Sign me up, I’m ready.” Jenna bounced on her tiptoes as she laid down the money to compete in the bull riding category.
“What does Anne have to say about this?” Danny asked, watching Jenna sign on the dotted line.
Jenna wheeled around with her receipt and number. “She was against it at first, until she saw the publicity it was generating. I’m only one of a handful of females competing against men in the most dangerous sport in the world. Cowgirl Angels has been booked in three extra events, just because they want to see me ride.”
“You mean they want to see you kill yourself,” Hugh grumbled behind them.
“Stop worrying.” Jenna waved them off. “Didn’t you see that girl fall off her horse in Oklahoma City? She was barrel racing, her horse slipped on a turn and she broke her leg in three places. Accidents happen sometimes.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Moving ahead of her, Hugh opened the door and let Jenna step through to the outside.
“Maybe, but I would think that prize money you won in Lawton would do the trick.” Jenna laughed. “Walk with me over to the stockyard. I want to check out the bulls.”
“All right.” Hugh grumbled. Over the past six weeks, she and Hugh had developed an easy friendship. He’d just about given up on anything more. Apparently Jenna was a one-man woman and he wasn’t that man.
Jenna kept the smile pasted on her face. She was getting pretty good at pretending to be happy. If she had to lie down on an analyst’s couch and spill her guts, she was mighty afraid they’d say she was using the danger and the adrenaline rush to numb her emotions and get her mind on something else other than Logan.
Maybe. Whatever. It made the days easier to get through.
“Who did you draw?” Hugh asked as they neared the bull pens. He held his nose. “The fragrant smell of manure never gets old, does it?”
Laughing, Jenna pulled the receipt from her pocket. “Let me see. I didn’t even look.” Glancing at the name, Jenna stopped so suddenly she almost fell. “Oh, my God. What’s he doing out of Texas?”
“Who? Let me see?” Hugh grabbed the paper. “Damn, you got Bushwhacker. He’s unridden. You are so crazy.”
“That’s not what’s bothering me.” She stepped behind a trailer and peeped around. “I know Bushwhacker. I helped raise him. He belongs to Gray Wolf Stock.”
“Wouldn’t that disqualify you?”
Hugh wasn’t getting it. “I don’t know, I don’t think so. It’s not like I'm on friendly terms with the bull.” Scanning the crowd around the stock pens, Jenna felt her heart pounding in her chest. “I know you’re here somewhere. Where are you?”
“Who?” Hugh was helping her look.
And then she spied him. Big. Powerful. Sexier than sin. So good-looking it made her knees weak to look at him. “Logan. My Logan.”
“Where?” Hugh scanned the crowd.
“The big guy directing traffic for the trailer that’s backing up.” Jenna was weighing options – like flying to South America or hopping on Stormy and riding north toward Canada.
“Damn, no wonder I never had a chance. He looks like the guy who played Superman, only he’s wearing a cowboy hat.”
Jenna had to laugh. “No, he doesn’t.” She smiled. “I always laughed and told him he looks like McSteamy on that hospital show, the same guy who plays the Captain on that program about the Navy ship where they’re trying to cure the plague.”
“Hmmm, whatever.” Hugh figured they looked like two idiots peering around a corner. “What are you going to do?”
“Hide.” Jenna paused to think. “Logan doesn’t really watch the rodeo. He concerns himself more with handling the stock and taking care of them. There’s a good chance he won’t even know I’m here.” She collared her own throat, feeling her heartbeat beneath her fingers. “There’s no way I can let the Angels down, so I’m just going to have to risk it.” Grabbing Hugh’s hand, she pulled him. “Let’s get out of here.”
“You don’t want to see him?”
“He’s tried to get in touch with me, but I’m not sure what he wants from me, really.” She spoke over her shoulder. “I was his responsibility for so long, I think I was a habit. He felt responsible for me. Nothing more than that.”
The regret in her voice was obvious to Hugh. “And what do you feel?” He wasn’t sure he believed her take on the situation.
“What I feel didn’t seem to matter.” Just seeing him from a distance made her want to cry. She loved him more than life. She couldn’t imagine loving anyone else. But nothing could be gained from seeing him now. Jenna had no doubt he would try to make her go home – but not to him. And if she couldn’t have Logan’s love, she didn’t want his protection.
Across the fairgrounds, Logan watched the last bronc leave the trailer. Taking his hat off, he wiped his brow. Compared to fighting a fire, this was a picnic. Dealing with the animals was a stress reliever. There were times when he sent one of the ranch hands to deliver stock, but when he could, he liked to come himself. Especially to an event he’d never worked before. Logan took responsibility for his animals and wanted to make sure they were well treated. Reports of abuse were few and far between, but he always wanted to check things out for himself. This was his first contract out of state and since
he didn’t know the organizers, he arranged to make this round himself.
For the next few hours, he checked out the facilities and met the managers. He’d already reviewed the records and found no complaints from previous suppliers. Logan was satisfied the Red River Roundup was a legitimate organization he could add to his regular schedule. Now, he was ready for some liquid refreshment. Following the crowd, he found himself outside a rustic dining establishment called the Mean-Eyed Cow. The name made him smile. He’d known some of those heifers in his time – both with four legs and two. Opening the screen door, he strolled inside and made his way to the bar.
An old-fashioned round barstool covered in cracked blue leather swiveled at his touch. Logan propped his leg up on the metal footrest and sat down, taking the laminated menu from a nearby rack. A gum-chewing redheaded waitress sauntered over to him from the opposite side of the counter. “What can I get you? Wanna beer, cutie?”
Cutie? Logan had been called a lot of things in his time. This was first for ‘cutie’. “I think I’ll have a burger and a root beer. Cut the onions and the cheese.”
“Oh, honey, any woman would kiss you even with onion breath.” She gave him a wide smile and a wink.
Logan grinned at her, ducking his head. Females coming on to him was nothing new. What was a shame was…the only one he wanted to come on to him was long gone. He’d racked his brain trying to figure out where Jenna had disappeared to. He’d checked all the colleges in a five-hundred-mile radius, but didn’t find her. And the money he’d set aside for her hadn’t been touched. Bottom line, Jenna didn’t want him to find her. Her friend Dixie knew where she was, but she wasn’t talking. She’d called Logan an idiot for pushing Jenna away. He didn’t disagree with her at all. If only Chief Hodgins words about his own relationship to a much younger woman didn’t haunt him. I loved Sierra until she grew to hate me for it.
“Hey, can you pass me the salt?”
Someone nudged Logan and he grabbed the shaker passing it to the man sitting next to him. “Sure. My name’s Logan Gray.”
“Joel Hardin. You riding?” The young cowpoke offered his hand to Logan, who shook it. Returning to his food, he took a big bite of rice and gravy, washing it down with a swig of tea.
“Nope.” Logan shook his head. “I’m the stock contractor. I used to ride broncs. The only thing I ride these days is a fire truck.”
“Yea.” The other man nodded. “I guess we all have to slow down sometimes.”
Logan knew the other man meant nothing by it, but the reminder of their age difference reinforced the doubts he had about his being good for Jenna. “You might be right.”
As he sat and waited for his food, Joel got on his phone and began looking at videos. After a while, he chuckled and leaned toward Logan. “Have you seen these videos about that girl who’s been riding the bulls?”
“No.” Logan said slowly. “You mean that lady from Michigan?”
“No, Laramie’s a blonde. This is a gorgeous little brunette, rides with the Cowgirl Angels, and talk about an angel... Look.”
Joel handed Logan his phone where a You-tube video was playing. The image was small, but when he brought it closer, the identity of the rider was evident. Logan’s heart rose in his throat when he saw Jenna atop a massive bull, her hand in the air, as she was spun and jerked violently. The ride didn’t last the requisite eight seconds. After a little over four heart-rending moments, she was launched off his back and hurled through the air to land on her back a dozen feet away. “Goddammit,” he muttered under his breath. One horrifying snippet of her riding led to another, there was even some footage of the Angels performing.
“She’s something, ain’t she? I think she’s ridden in half a dozen rodeos in the past few weeks. A real crowd favorite. She’s improving by leaps and bounds. Her name is Jenna.” Joel sighed and shook his head. “I sure wish I could meet her.”
“I feel the same way.” His voice was hoarse with emotion.
Joel winked at Logan. “Maybe I’ll get a chance. She’s riding here tonight.”
Jerking his head toward the young cowboy, he handed back the phone. “That right?” Not waiting for an answer, he shouted to the waitress. “Make mine to go. I got somewhere to be.”
***
Sitting astride Stormy, she moved in formation from the practice paddock toward the arena. Every once in a while she glanced nervously over her shoulder, expecting to see Logan stomping toward her like a mad grizzly. As much as she ached to see him, to be with him – after the fiasco of their night together and his heartbreaking revelation of how she’d manipulated their encounter – she couldn’t do it, she just couldn’t do it. The idea of facing him made her cringe, she’d humiliated herself and had no desire to repeat the process.
Shifting in the saddle, she admitted she didn't feel the best in the world. Something was off. A few aches and pains in her body was nothing compared to the unrest in her brain. To get her mind off Logan and on to the matter at hand, Jenna focused on what was going on around her. During the weeks she’d been practicing with the Angels, Jenna had learned much about the group. The women involved were much like her, all had backgrounds where they’d learned to love horses, rodeos…and cowboys. But the horses were a different story. Jenna loved the horses.
One evening around a campfire, Anne had sat her down and told the story. None of the girls had brought their own horses into the group, except for her. She and Stormy were different, having performed together before. The rest were paired together according to personality. And many times the talent lay more with the mount than the rider.
The first horse indoctrinated in the group had been Tilly. Solid black, she’d come half-starved and wild as a buck. Ann had bought her from a trader, working for months to fatten her up and build a bond of trust. Most who saw Tilly were naysayers, prophesying that she wouldn’t amount to much. But the horse was hungry for love and extremely intelligent. Slowly, Anne had started riding her, teaching Tilly the routines. Once she’d begun performing, Tilly had taken to it like a duck to water. She was fierce in her devotion. During one routine, she’d broken her back leg and no one knew it until the performance was over because Tilly never let on. Only when she was out of sight of the crowd did she pick up her leg and refuse to set it back down again. It was a year before she could once again enter the ring, but nothing had stopped her since.
Kiowa was a golden paint, five years old, bred to be a cutting horse. He’d never been trained because he grew too big too fast. Anne purchased him for a song and within a few months, the gentle giant was a functioning part of the team.
Two-Bits was a buckskin with a dark brown mane and tail. Born wild in Colorado, Anne had purchased the mustang from an auction. Of all the horses, she said he was the fastest learner. A favorite among the girls, Two-Bits was used to train the new girls until they found a mount to suit them.
Aside from Stormy, Jenna’s favorite was a nine-year-old quarter horse called Sprite. A big bay roan, he’d been owned by a cowboy who passed away. Anne heard about Sprite at a rodeo, the horse who wouldn’t eat, mourning his master. The story touched her heart and she bought him, giving him special attention until he came into his own. Jenna was trying to learn rope tricks and Sprite had proved to be a great help. He and Stormy got along well, which was a good thing. She had aspirations to learn the Roman Ride where she’d stand on the back of two horses, one foot on each. Sprite was her choice to team with Stormy. Anne had approved her request and Jenna couldn’t wait.
Snow White Sonya was a crowd favorite. For some reason, she’d taken a liking to the American flag. A small compact girl, she strutted her stuff when the flag was flown, dropping her head and prancing like a Lipizzaner, the white show horses from Austria. The last horse in their troupe was a buckskin roan, another wild mustang captured in Wyoming. To hear Anne tell it, Jon Bon was her favorite. He had a stubborn streak and required extra training. For a while, it hadn’t been clear if he’d made the cut. Anne had finally
figured out that he wasn’t cooperating because he craved the extra attention that his stubbornness brought. The three-year-old was now a full part of the team and today just like the other horses, he was raring to get in the ring.
So was Jenna.
When she was in front of the crowd, when the music was playing, when the energy of the animals was high and she was a part of it all – she could put Logan out of her mind for just a little while. Deep in her heart, Jenna knew that was why she was bull riding. Oh, she enjoyed the rush, but it gave her an escape. When she was on the back of a roaring bull, there was no time to remember.
Pity it lasted only eight seconds.
“Ladies and Gentleman! Welcome a group of young ladies who are fast becoming the most talked about performers on the rodeo circuit. They’re beautiful, they’re talented, and they’re here tonight! Cowgirl Angels!”
With the roar of the crowd, the gates opened and Anne led them out. Stormy pranced in place until it was his turn to enter the arena and start the wide circle for the flag presentation. Camera flashes went off in every direction and Jenna held her hat high as she rode around the ring. Unlike some of the girls, she didn’t try to connect with the crowd. Her attention was focused on the rider in front of her and Stormy’s next move.
