“Yes. Your words are true.” He started to laugh and tension melted away. “Never has there been born a creature more conflicted than I.” Laughter bubbled up within him, catching him by surprise. “My body’s natural rhythms are like those of any lupwyn and I share a fertility cycle with my pack. So yes, my body is all too willing. But my heart is solely phoenix.”
“Ah.”
It was one single word. Yet he heard a world of understanding within it.
“Blade, I’m so sorry. I’ve been making things worse not better, haven’t I?”
“No. Everything you’ve done has helped me in some way. And while I find your touch pleasant, I’m not ready to risk my heart again.” His words weren’t entirely true. He wanted to give his heart to Beatrice. If there was some certainty she would remain loyal…
“Again?” she prompted gently.
He sighed, but decided to tell her what she needed to know if she was going to remain in his life after the current crisis was over.
“We call the complete turning of the seasons a cycle. Four seasons in each cycle.”
Beatrice nodded. “A cycle equals a year. I understand.”
“My pack enters its fertility time every twenty-five years. Each fertility period lasts three years. Those are the times the unmated most often find their mates. Being half-phoenix, I would usually return to Grey Spires to study during that time to avoid any regrettable complications. Being farther from my pack and surrounded by a city of prudish phoenix always doused a case of lust pretty quickly.”
Beatrice giggled and then slapped her hand over her mouth.
“Afterward, I would return to the pack. This suited me well enough for many, many years. Eventually, a female from a neighboring pack who had been visiting with mine for several years expressed interest in joining. Her name was Autumn Shadow.” He paused and was somewhat surprised to see he’d discarded the brush and was running his fingers through Beatrice’s hair instead. “A friendship had grown up between us and we got on well together. Also, we were both alphas, and I knew I would one day have to lead my pack during my father’s absences. I thought she’d make a good co-leader. Fifty years ago, when the pack entered its fertility cycle, she convinced me to stay. I did.”
Silverblade stopped brushing her hair with his fingers and looked down at his hands. “I can’t tell you how much I wish I had gone to Grey Spires instead.”
Beatrice turned around and reached for his hands. She entwined their fingers together. “I don’t know what happened, but I can feel your pain. If you don’t wish to say more, I’ll understand. I know nothing I say can soothe that old pain, but for what it’s worth, I value you. I value our friendship and I’ll never compromise you now that I know.”
“I believe you.” And he realized he did. Something within him eased and telling the rest became easier. “We were happy that first year and then the humans landed on our shores. Because of my phoenix heritage, I was a skilled shapeshifter able to take full bird form or the human-looking hybrid form many phoenix prefer. I could fly vast distances quickly in either shape. The elders asked that I become a scout. I did and soon learned I loved it.”
Deciding Beatrice wasn’t close enough, he tightened his grip on her hand and tugged her closer.
Resisting, she raised her eyebrow in question.
“I’m cold,” he said with a shrug. It was true, even if that wasn’t what first made him tug Beatrice closer. “And we should bed down for the night. Tomorrow will be here before we know it.”
“Ah,” she said with an unreadable look. “Of course.”
She started to unwind the blanket to make a poor man’s sleeping pallet. He’d forgotten she was naked underneath, but he honestly didn’t mind that oversight. Shared body heat would keep them both warmer.
Arranging the blanket, she draped a large part on the ground and then crawled in, tucking a bit of excess under her feet. Once she was situated, she held up the open edge and motioned him in. Talk of his ex-mate had killed any lust he was feeling, so at least when he joined her, he didn’t worry about making Beatrice feel any more awkward than necessary.
He settled next to her, close enough that their thighs were touching and looked up into the star filled sky. With an artful flip, she draped the other half of the blanket up around his neck.
While she was still folding and fussing with the blanket, he reached an arm around her shoulders and drew her into his side. Tentatively, she rested one arm across his chest and when he made no move to shift it away, she tucked her head against his shoulder.
Warm, full, and with Beatrice tucked against him, he felt sleep creeping up on him, but it would be better to just finish the story and put it all behind him. He rolled onto his side, facing her.
“My first scouting missions kept me away from the pack for seasons on end and one spring, I was late returning to my pack. The second year of the pack’s three-year fertility cycle had begun a moon before, so I was very much looking forward to seeing Autumn Shadow again.”
He felt Beatrice stiffen and when he looked down it was to see her gazing back at him with a fierce expression. Yes, he’d bet she’d figured out where his tale was going.
“I flew back in phoenix form. It was faster. However, the pack also wouldn’t have sensed me coming in that form. So I didn’t think it strange that Autumn Shadow didn’t come to greet me. If I’d been thinking with my head instead of another body part, I might have figured out sooner she was preoccupied with another male.”
“Oh, Blade, I am so sorry.” The fire cast her features in its warm light, and he could see the glimmering of unshed tears.
“Not half as sorry as that other male. When I found Autumn Shadow rutting with her beta, I snapped and shifted back to phoenix form. It was the first and only time fire magic came to me easily.” He sighed and glanced up at the sky, remembering all his mother’s lessons and warnings about the most temperamental of elements. “I didn’t actually mean to harm them, but my fire magic slipped my control.”
He felt a soft touch along his jaw as Beatrice turned his head toward her. Softly, she asked, “Did you kill them?”
“No. However, the beta still bears the scars from my rage. You’ll find him the easiest to recognize. He’s now missing the tip of his tail.”
Beatrice’s one eyebrow had vanished into her bangs. “He’s still part of your pack?”
“Yes. When I came to my senses, I realized he was merely trying to…serve his alpha.” Silverblade shifted closer so he could rub his face along the elegant curve of her neck. Strange how telling someone what happened took the old ache away. “I was alpha back then, too, and it was my right to kill a beta that challenged me, but I’d always been fond of him so I just stripped him of his name for a season. Strangely, he kept the name Beta as his own and Autumn Shadow kept her Beta.”
Beatrice opened her mouth and then snapped it closed again.
But he could still see her unvoiced question written upon her face. “Autumn Shadow either thought to make me jealous enough to start a dominance fight, or, now that I can look back with clarity, I think she hoped I would accept Beta as our third.”
“Third?” Beatrice blurted out and then snapped her teeth together and flushed with embarrassment.
He chuckled as her creamy skin continued to darken in what he could only assume was a becoming shade of pink. Almost, he wished for daylight. “You can snuggle up next to me naked as the day you were born, but the mention of a third mate makes you turn redder than the fire’s embers? Did I not tell you about lupwyns living and loving freely? Sometimes that means more than one mate. Yet Autumn Shadow overlooked that a phoenix mates for life. One mate.”
A sudden flash of pain crossed her expression and she hastily looked down.
“Beatrice? What did I say?” Ah. But a moment later, he thought he knew.
Her next softly spoken words confirmed it. “So that’s why you bolted from me at the waterfalls. You’re already mated. Even if she was unfaith
ful, you’re half-phoenix and you’re not free to love again. I should have realized sooner that you may have had a mate.”
Hmmm, if that realization caused her pain, it could only mean his delightful little healer did have feelings for him. That thought pleased him far more than it should.
“If someone had said that to me even last winter, I probably would have agreed with it without much thought. But now I know it isn’t true.” He nuzzled the side of her neck, inhaling her scent.
“I don’t understand.”
It took him a moment to formulate a reply. “While Autumn Shadow and I did mate, I’m now coming to think we weren’t true mates as a phoenix would judge things. What I felt for her was lust. Nothing compared to the depths of my feelings for you already. That’s why I fled from you earlier. While I do not think my phoenix heart was involved when I first mated as a lupwyn, I think it’s waking now, for you.”
Beatrice’s look, equal parts uncertain and hopeful, did something to his heart and he wanted to reassure her. “I know my Larnkin never did like my first choice.”
“He was probably trying to protect you.”
“Yes.” Silverblade stroked a finger along her parted lips. “Whereas you, he likes a great deal. As do I. He also said I could trust you.”
“Then…why did you bolt at the waterfall.”
“Cowardice.”
“Ah…”
“I know how it hurt when only my lupwyn heart was involved. Yet with you it feels like I’ve known you all my life. I fear my phoenix heart has awakened and has already chosen you. In reality, I barely know you but I think I’ve fallen in love—that terrifies me more than a little. You’re also human and don’t know the way of phoenix courtship.”
Beatrice was silent for a long time and it was his turn to squirm uncomfortably.
“I was born human. I can do nothing about that physically, but I am equally certain my heart and soul are loyal. If we were ever to become mates, I would be loyal to you and would never do anything to harm you. And if you grant me permission, I will court you for however long is customary for phoenix to prove it.”
He grinned. “A hundred years is customary unless the phoenix are also bondmates,” he said and saw no reason to withhold his other theory. “I think are Larnkins might become bondmates in time.”
“A hundred years? Bondmates?”
“Phoenix are cautious with their hearts.”
“You’re half-lupwyn.”
“Yes? Your point?”
Beatrice licked her lower lip and he found it far too fascinating. “I was hoping to have children before I’m a hundred.”
“You’re host to a powerful Larnkin. You’re likely immortal.”
She muttered something unladylike under her breath. “What if we are these bondmates?”
“It may also take years for my Larnkin to recover and forge the spirit link between our two Larnkins.”
“So it will likely be a number of years either way? But you will allow me to court you and gain your trust?”
“Yes, but never fear, my beautiful little healer, I doubt I’ll make one hundred days let alone one hundred years of courtship. Although, I’d still like my hundred days.”
“Only a hundred days? That few?” Beatrice laughed, the sound so full of delight it made his pulse race. “So do I have your permission to start this courtship now?”
“Yes.” His lips pulled back in a grin. “I think I’ll enjoy your courtship.”
And Beatrice, true to her word, began right then even though they were both tired from the long day. More than content, he basked in the combination of the fire’s heat and Beatrice’s small hands as they lightly stroked his chest. Her touch was tentative at first, but quickly grew more confident as she explored.
He resisted the urge to drag her closer for a kiss. Trust might be something that normally was built over time, but he already trusted her with his life. Her enthusiasm and easy acceptance made trusting her with his heart just as easy. However, now was hardly the time to get carried away.
But once this business of ridding the land of acolytes was complete and peace once more flowed across the land, he decided he would make sure Beatrice had as many children by him as he could give her. It didn’t matter to him if this courtship lasted a hundred days or a hundred years, he’d still eagerly await Beatrice.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
When they set out again the next morning, Silverblade was glad to see the easy camaraderie between them had survived the previous night’s events where he’d had to stop her after a few heated caresses. He’d claimed they both needed to sleep—alone—so they would be rested up come morning. Which was true. Last night had been a lovely, sweet distraction that had the benefit of strengthening his Larnkin, but now the mission came first.
They were in a battle for their lives and his personal wishes and needs must come second. And unfortunately, so too must Beatrice’s. Though he hadn’t told her in so many words. He did not want to hurt her.
Now, they were riding double again, the big draft gelding having recovered. The forest was quiet. His senses found the cause a few moments later when the wind shifted and carried the scent of a big cat to him. He did not fear it. This one was moving away, its scent growing weaker by the moment. It was wise enough to avoid tangling with a lupwyn.
But still, it was a relief to know the forest around him was hushed because of a hunting cat and not a group of acolytes.
“Silverblade?” Beatrice’s voice held unnatural tension. “I sense something. Magic. But it’s a kind unfamiliar to me.”
His Larnkin roused but went still inside him again after three heartbeats.
Did that mean there was no threat? Or that his Larnkin was just too weak to sense it? Silently cursing his new magical infirmity, he stretched his physical senses as far as they would go. It wasn’t enough to pick up whatever she sensed.
Something else occurred to him then. Just because he couldn’t sense the power didn’t mean she couldn’t describe it to him or destroy it if it proved a danger.
“Describe the feel of the power.”
Beatrice glanced over her shoulder at him, her brows furrowing in thought.
“It feels like heat, and a deep resentfulness. A wild power that does not want to be controlled. If I was to guess, I would say it is some kind of fire magic. But far stronger than any I have ever encountered.”
And just like that, Silverblade decided she described a Gate perfectly. Gate magic was a type of fire magic that usually only a phoenix could control.
His mother had tried to teach him, but even being half-phoenix himself hadn’t been enough. He’d never mastered the control needed to form a Gate. Not one that was stable enough to safely carry travelers from one place to another.
The memory of his mother’s training reignited the pain he’d shoved to the side over the past several days. So much so that now, it almost seemed unreal. It didn’t seem possible that she was gone. But she was. And she would never walk out of another Gate to come visit him again. Bitterness engulfed him. She would be avenged once all the acolytes were dead.
To Beatrice he said, “I think it’s likely a Gate. To the best of my knowledge, that is power the acolytes have yet to steal. It must be one of the Elementals. Perhaps even a rescue group searching for us. They will already know something went wrong when the delegation did not report in.” Silverblade looked around again, studying the forest, desperately willing his senses to sharpen. “Can you tell the direction of the disturbance?”
Again, Beatrice furrowed her brows as she looked around, clearly trying to pinpoint the direction of the power.
“It is too broad—too powerful. It’s sending ripples out in all directions. Hmmm…wait… the greatest concentration seems to be coming from the northeast of us. There.” She pointed in the direction.
Silverblade urged the gelding towards that location.
“We’re almost upon it.” Beatrice’s voice sounded calm, but he could feel
the tension in her body.
He couldn’t fault her for being edgy, not after everything that had befallen them. While he was reasonably confident that what was going to come through the Gate was friend not foe, he halted the gelding at the edge of the tree line as a precaution.
Looking out between the trees, he witnessed the beginnings of a Gate forming. Already two tall pillars of flame danced at the center of the clearing. Ropes of fire magic coiled in upon themselves. Arching up from the ground, they shimmered in reds and golds, almost like true fire. But it swiftly changed to green and then an icy blue-white, destroying any illusion that this was simple fire.
The willful elemental magic fought, unwilling to be controlled. Even so, it was soon forced into obedience by those on the other side. The magic shifted again. Calming slowly, the individual flames merged into each other until two smooth columns of power stretched towards the sky. When they were three times the height of a man, the two columns arched inward until they touched, forming one solid structure.
Filaments of magic darted out from the insides of the pillars, shooting towards the middle, forming a wall of power. And then with a deep, droning tone, the silvery fire within the archway vanished, leaving a view to another location.
Silverblade still kept the gelding hidden in the trees as he waited for the Gate creators to appear. Heartbeats later, a group of santhyrians galloped through. Flanking them were several heavily armored lupwyns.
More lupwyns and phoenix guards rode through the Gate, with both magical and non-magical weapons in hand, ready for whatever they’d find on this side.
Silverblade recognized the phoenix in the lead. It was Councilor Tav, a phoenix elder. He was also brother to the lupwyn queen and not known for his friendly, open demeanor at the best of times. At the moment, his expression was downright fierce. Silverblade couldn’t be happier to see that dour expression.
The rest of the group emerged from the Gate. Fanning out, they sought signs of danger. Or, he realized, seeking them. Silverblade hadn’t even had time to urge the gelding forward out of hiding, before the first of the lupwyns had pinpointed him.
Maiden's Wolf (In Deception's Shadow Book 3) Page 15
