by Jenna Jacob
Staring at her placid face as she slept in his arms, the feelings she’d reawakened pinged through him like tracers off a fifty caliber. To Sky, love had always been a messy emotion, but then, his track record proved that. He knew how this story would end, and it filled him with grief.
Unshed tears stung the backs of his eyes, and he swallowed tightly before brushing a kiss to Katie’s forehead. As he slowly eased from her hot core, the cool night air met the slickness coating his cock, sending a shiver up his spine. Careful not to wake her, he reached down and snagged her robe off the floor and draped it over her. Drinking in the warmth of their naked knitted flesh, Sky could almost hear the clock in his head ticking down the time he had left with her. His only salvation was at least he knew it was coming and wouldn’t be blindsided again. Drawing Katie in tighter, he closed his eyes and let sleep drag him under.
~*~
Kaitlin woke to the sound of a rooster’s crow. Still fuzzy from the best night of sleep she’d had in years, she forced her heavy eyelids open. Blinking, she discovered she was lying naked in Sky’s steely arms inside the gazebo. Images of the incredible sex they’d shared sent panic plowing through her veins like a gorilla on steroids.
Oh, god. No. No. No. How could I have let this happen? I’m so damn stupid.
Anxiety made her body tense like a guitar string. Though she’d been able to tell by the sparks zinging between them she’d eventually end up naked in his arms, she hadn’t wanted to make love to him quite so soon.
Make love, my ass. He fucking rocked your damn world.
Yes. Her sore muscles and tender, damp pussy could attest to that. Still, it had been way too soon. She hadn’t done a single thing to try and get her life back in order. The only thing last night had accomplished, besides numerous mind-shattering orgasms, was adding more issues to her already clusterfucked life.
She tried to wriggle free without waking him, but as she peeked at his face beneath her long lashes, a corner of his mouth tipped up and he opened his eyes. Before she could object, Sky leaned in and claimed her mouth. As he pushed his tongue past her lips, she tensed even more. He hadn’t even given her time to brush her damn teeth. Jerking her mouth from his, she tried unsuccessfully to break from his hold.
“Wait, Sky. Stop,” she protested.
“Stop what?” he murmured in a sleepy, sensual drawl.
Her pussy clenched, but she ignored the desire in her body, opting to listen to her brain for once. “Let me up, I need to…go inside before Gran discovers I’m not in bed.”
Apprehension climbed up her spine, along with embarrassment and dread. She’d had sex with Sky. Unprotected sex, even. Oh, god. How could you be so stupid?
Thankfully, she was on the pill. Her irresponsible lapse in judgment wouldn’t cost her even more in nine months. Still, she had no idea how many women he’d taken bareback over the years.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“I don’t think you have a curfew anymore, sweetheart.” The sound of Sky’s low, raspy growl made her girl parts tingle. She had to find the strength to dismiss her hormones and get away from him before she made another fatal mistake…like letting him take her to the stars again. Once was bad enough; twice would be a catastrophe.
“Let me up,” she demanded tersely.
Undaunted by her tone, Sky held tight, but his expression turned almost ruthless. It made her clit throb, and she gritted her teeth.
“You’ve already convinced yourself last night was a mistake, haven’t you?”
“It was,” she replied flippantly, still struggling against him like a fish on a hook. “Jesus, we didn’t even use a condom.”
A frown tugged his tawny lips. “No, we didn’t. The only woman I forgot to glove up with was Nina’s mother. One time, but obviously it was the one time that counted. I’ve been tested and I’m clean. I assume, knowing Doug’s track record, you’ve been tested, too?
She gave him a quick, angry nod.
“Come on, Katie. Don’t do this to us, baby. We both wanted—”
“I’m not your baby,” she spat. “I may have wanted it, but it was most definitely a mistake…a huge one. We had no business… Oh, god, Sky. This is… I’m sorry, but the timing…it’s wrong…all wrong.”
Anger and rejection lined his face. Her heart sank. She’d done that to him…taken the magic they’d shared and ruined it. Goddammit, she didn’t need to wrestle with any more guilt, yet it poured over her like a thick, insoluble sludge. It didn’t matter that she’d ached for everything he’d given her last night since she’d first seen him on the road. She’d never be able to give him anything except her body until she straightened out her life, and even then, she couldn’t give him any guarantees. Responsibilities to those counting on her hung over her head like an executioner’s mask, and she’d just added Sky’s feelings to her list.
“I’m sorry, but we had no business giving in to this…this stupid chemistry between us. We’re supposed to be adults, not irresponsible kids.” She exhaled a heavy sigh. “I don’t need to add any more complications to my life.”
Sky reared back as if she’d slapped him. He raised his hands in surrender. Kaitlin jumped from the couch, grabbed her robe, and covered her naked body. His stare all but singed her flesh, and the palpable anger rolling off him sent her heart pounding.
“Complications?” His incredulous tone and tightly drawn lips made her cringe. “I didn’t realize you thought me a complication when you were grinding your pussy and coming apart all over my face last night.”
“That’s not what I… Dammit. Stop. Stop twisting my words,” she huffed.
He sat up, but his angry, icy glare stayed etched in place. “I’m not twisting anything. Simply trying to figure out why you feel the need to minimize what we shared.”
“I’m not minimizing it, Sky. I’m stating the facts. Last night was wrong. We can’t let it happen again.”
“You want facts? Here’s some facts for you… You need to take a long, hard look at yourself, Katie. Figure out why sharing honest human emotions scares the hell out of you. Why you think you’ve got the market cornered on protecting your heart, and why you’re the only one allowed to decide what’s right and what’s wrong. Last night wasn’t, by the way, but you’re too goddamn bent on pushing me away to see that.”
She stood with her mouth agape as Sky yanked on his jeans, then bent and fisted his shirt off the floor. His caustic tone and the look of betrayal that blazed in his fierce expression felt like a familiar, physical blow. The storm rolling in his eyes didn’t make her shy away. Instead, she tied the sash of her robe with an angry huff.
“I’m not trying to push you away, Sky. I’m simply trying to nip this in the bud before it goes any further.”
“Nip it in the bud? Are you serious?” His condescending tone ticked her off. “Is that honestly what you want?”
She issued a curt nod as her heart screamed no.
His expression fell flat. “I don’t know who you are anymore. Last night, I thought we shared something monumental, but now I see it was nothing but a monumental mistake, as well.” His tone cut into her like a switchblade. “Trust me, Katie. I won’t complicate your life any further. Take care of yourself.”
His kiss-off reeked of vindictiveness. He hadn’t even let her fully explain. That fact alone told her he’d never intended to accept her apology or forgive her past mistakes. Maybe last night was nothing more than finding a way to give her a taste of her own medicine. He wanted to be the one walking away this time.
“Fine,” she spat. “I don’t need you in my life anyway.”
“You never did,” he growled as he yanked on his shirt and turned, leaving her alone.
An unladylike snarl rolled from her throat as she clenched her fists. Butterflies dipped and swooped in her stomach as panic crested on a huge wave inside her. She didn’t want him to leave. Not like this. Not with his feelings hurt.
“Sky, wait,” she called as she ran after him. “I’m
sorry.”
Sky stopped and turned, his expression flat and unreadable. “There’s an old Cherokee saying: dream your dreams with your eyes closed…but live your dreams with your eyes open. Make no mistake, Katie. When you finally find the guts to open your eyes, I’ll be here. Until then…fuck it.”
He turned away but not before she caught a glimpse of pain fluttering over his face.
“Will you at least let me explain?” she called after him.
“You’ve explained enough already,” he tossed over his shoulder.
“You pigheaded son of a…” She let loose an angry growl and stomped up the stairs to the porch.
On the other side of the screen door, Gran stood watching their exchange. With one brow arched in question, she studied Kaitlin’s clothing…or rather, lack thereof, before they both turned to watch Sky storm away.
Gran opened the screen door for Kaitlin. A knowing flicker danced in the old woman’s eyes. “Did you fall asleep in the gazebo last night?”
“Something like that,” Kaitlin huffed. She shot a glance over her shoulder, watching as Sky’s long, muscular legs put a painful distance between them. It wasn’t even close to the distance her irrational anger had driven them apart. Her fingers tingled, wanting to grip his wide shoulders and feel his hot flesh on her palms. Her pussy clutched and her toes curled. Even her traitorous body wanted to spend one more night beneath him, but it was too late. Allowing her fears to win, she’d slammed the door on any future of that. “Is there any coffee?” she grumbled as the screen door closed behind her.
“Yes, there’s plenty, and if not, I can brew another pot. Sit yourself down at the kitchen table, and I’ll pour you a cup before we talk.”
Talking…it was the last thing Kaitlin wanted to do. She closed her eyes and sucked in a ragged breath. She was sick and tired of making mistakes and lying to cover her fears. Nothing about last night had felt like a mistake. It was only in the light of day that she’d let her insecurities take over.
“What’s got Sky in such a dither this morning?” Gran asked as she handed Kaitlin a mug of coffee.
“How should I know? He’s a man, that’s enough reason.”
“Uh-huh,” Gran grunted in disbelief. “I think we’re getting off on the wrong foot here, Katie-girl. Just because you’re a grown woman doesn’t mean the rules have changed. I’m not going sit here and let you lie to me. Now, what’s happened between you and Sky?”
Gran hadn’t given her a lecture since she was eight years old. It chafed even worse now. She wanted to bang her head repeatedly on the kitchen table, but Gran’s shrewd and expectant expression told Kaitlin that she wasn’t going to escape the grilling about to unfold.
“We had sex,” Kaitlin spat. “It was a stupid mistake. But that’s no shock. That’s all I’m capable of making these days. It’s no wonder my life is a never-ending field of steaming-hot cow pies.”
She darted a glance at Gran, who bit back a grin and took a quick sip of coffee. “Stop beating yourself up,” Gran scolded. “The good Lord doesn’t give us more than we can handle.”
“Want a bet?” Kaitlin challenged.
She felt as if she’d gone from the frying pan into the fire, and there wasn’t a damn bucket of water to be found. She’d abandoned her business, her employees, and her clients. Her ex-boyfriend had lost his grip on reality, threatened to find her and probably to kill her. And she’d spent the most magnificent night of her life with the man she loved, but she’d kicked him in the teeth and sent him packing. The only thing lacking in her incredibly fucked-up life was an IV of Thorazine and a well-padded cell.
The walls closed in on her again, and the familiar dizzying sensation told her she was going to lose her shit. A cold sweat covered her body, and she bolted out of her chair. Pacing the floor like a caged lion, she gasped and tried to fill her lungs.
Gran stood before pulling Kaitlin to a stop and clutching her to her chest. “Stop that right now,” she demanded in a harsh tone. “Loving Sky isn’t a mistake. It never was. Leaving him may have been, but that’s water under the bridge. You can’t go back and right your wrongs. None of us can, no matter how badly we want to. I know Doug broke your heart and your spirit…made you forget how strong you really are. It took a hell of a lot of courage to leave that son of a bitch. Don’t you dare doubt the backbone inside you. You have to stop thinking that every decision you make is a mistake, or you’re never going to get strong. It’s time to pry your backside off the pity pot and start taking charge of your life. Rediscover the things that make you happy. That’s where you’ll find your peace of mind.”
“I don’t know where to start.” Kaitlin’s voice cracked as tears filled her eyes. She was sick of crying and sick of feeling helpless, worthless, and hopeless.
“Of course you do, Katie. I’ve drilled strength and independence into your head since you were a child. You don’t quit when the going gets tough. You put one foot in front of the other and keep on moving.” Gran cupped Kaitlin’s cheeks. Determination glowed in the old woman’s eyes. “If you give up, Kaitlin Elizabeth, that abusive little peckerhead wins. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit back and watch you hand pieces of yourself over to him. He’s taken enough. How much longer do you plan on letting him suck the life out of you? I think you’ve paid a high enough price already. Don’t you?”
She nodded as her grandmother’s empowering words began seeping into Kaitlin’s pores.
“You’re the only one who can take back your life…find happiness. Stop letting regret, guilt, and anger drag you down. Live, laugh, and love. That’s the reason we’re here on this earth.”
A spark of understanding sputtered inside Kaitlin. While she’d vowed never to be victimized by Doug’s physical abuse, she’d failed to shove that same stake in the ground when it came to her mental wellbeing. Like a puppet, she’d allowed Doug to continue pulling her strings…manipulating her with fear, self-loathing, and doubt.
No more! she inwardly promised with a sense of determination.
Kaitlin was ready to fight tooth and nail to reclaim her life, forgive herself, and bring laughter, light, and love back into her world.
“Thank you, Gran.” Kaitlin kissed her on the cheek. “You’re absolutely right. I need to start living again.”
A triumphant smile lit up the old woman’s face. “Now you’re talking. That’s what I want to hear.”
“I’m going to grab a quick shower, then get some work done. I’ve got a million things to do.”
Gran chuckled. “Go get ’em, Katie-girl. Take no prisoners.”
CHAPTER NINE
You cannot find peace avoiding life.
-Virginia Woolf
Sky burst through the front door to find his mom and daughter seated at the kitchen table enjoying a breakfast of pancakes and bacon. The scent of food made his stomach twist.
“There he is,” Nina announced. “Gramma was worried ’bout you. But I esplained that you was prolly outside workin’ on stuff.”
His mom arched a brow and shot him a quizzical stare.
“Why, yes, I was, muffin,” he lied. “I was getting my tools ready to fix the back fence where the barbed wire’s come loose.”
“See, Gramma? I told you,” Nina preened.
“Yes, you did, pumpkin.” Brooke smiled.
Sky saw a million questions swimming in his mother’s eyes. Questions he didn’t have the patience or desire to answer. “I’m going to go grab a quick shower.”
“Sit down and have some breakfast first,” Brooke instructed in her do-as-I-say mother tone. “You can’t work in this heat on an empty stomach.”
He clenched his teeth. The thought of shoving food past his fury made him want to gag, but placating his mother might be the only way he could sidestep the barrage of questions he knew lay poised on her tongue. He grabbed a plate and took a seat next to Nina.
“That broken fence seems to have you plenty ticked off,” his mom stated with a knowing lilt in her voi
ce. Damn her maternal sense of perception.
Sky raised his eyes to meet her gaze. “Yep.”
One corner of Brooke’s mouth twitched up before she smoothed it away behind her napkin. Attempting to circumvent a game of twenty questions with her, Sky turned to Nina. A milk moustache dotted his daughter’s upper lip.
He couldn’t help but smile. “What are my two favorite girls going to do today?”
“Gramma is taking me to Mommy’s Day Out at the church.” Nina bounced excitedly before a frown wrinkled her face. “Why do they call it Mommy’s Day? It’s axilly Gramma’s day out.”
“Because mommies usually take their sons and daughters to playgroup, so they can do mommy things for a few hours,” Brooke explained.
“But I don’t have a mommy,” Nina stated with a pout. “They oughta call it Gramma’s Day Out, just for me.”
Nina rarely mentioned the fact that she didn’t have a mother, but when she did, it slammed Sky in the gut with guilt, like a double shot of tequila. Today felt like he’d been hit with the whole damn bottle. Forcing down the wad of pancakes suddenly lodged in his throat, he threw his napkin on the table.
“Then call it whatever the hell you want,” he barked.
Nina’s eyes grew wide. Her bottom lip quivered as she gallantly fought back tears. With an inward cringe, Sky dropped his head and sucked in a ragged breath, desperate to take back his scathing words. He never yelled at his daughter, but he just had. Allowing his anger with Katie to spill onto Nina made him feel like a first-class bastard.
“I’m sorry, Nina,” he apologized as he pulled her onto his lap and hugged her close. “I shouldn’t have shouted at you like that.”
“Are you mad at me, Daddy? Or just havin’ a bad day?”
“No, muffin, I’m not mad at you…not at all. And yes, I’m not having a very good day so far.”
Nina cupped her tiny hands around his face and kissed his lips. “There. That’ll fix it. Kisses fix everything…booboos and nightmares and just…everything.”
The syrup on her lips left a sticky residue. Sky licked the sweetness away and smiled. His heart felt as if it might burst out of his chest as he stared into her innocent dark eyes. After all the wrongs he’d done in his life, why he’d been blessed with such a precious gift confounded him. He couldn’t fail his daughter or his mom. He needed to be the best father and son possible, but at that moment, he was failing them both.
