by Noelle Adams
His body jerked visibly, and he shot her a quick look.
“It was just a kiss,” she said, trying desperately to sound casual. “It’s not the end of the world.”
It felt kind of like the end of the world to her, but that was because she was still being foolish.
Her stupid, stupid heart was still hoping for something that she knew would never happen.
Four
The rest of the drive was quiet. Jake didn’t even make any more calls.
Anne desperately wanted things to return to normal between them—since she couldn’t stand the thought that he’d realized her feelings and was somehow feeling sorry for her—but there was nothing she could think of to say to clear the air.
She noticed Jake shooting discreet looks over at her occasionally, as if he were checking to see how she was feeling. She tried not to show any of her inner turmoil in her expression, but she didn’t know how successful she was.
If only there was work to do, she was sure they could get back to normal again. But there was no work left for them on the remainder of the drive. Just tension and a lot of silent questions that had no answers.
They finally made it to their hotel in San Diego. It was later than they’d planned, because of the heavy traffic, and Anne just wanted to hide in her room and pretend the day had never happened.
It had been better when all she’d had were vague daydreams. At least then she could enjoy the fantasy. Now, however, she had the intense memory of what it felt like to kiss Jake for real. She also had the bleak knowledge that he would never do it again.
When she accepted the key card for her room, he gave her a close look. “Are you okay?” he asked softly.
She smiled at him, as bright as she could manage. “Of course. It was just a kiss. Did you think it would leave me sobbing in a corner or something?”
“Of course not.” His face twisted slightly. He obviously felt as terrible about this mess as she did. “But it should never have happened.”
“It did. It’s fine. It’s forgotten.” She smiled again. “It’s not like I’ve never been kissed before, you know.”
“I didn’t mean—” He broke off when she took the handle of her case and started wheeling it after her as she walked toward the elevator.
He reached for his bag and followed her. “Did you want to grab dinner?”
“Nah. I’m not very hungry. I think I’m just going to turn in.”
“Okay.” He looked worried but didn’t object. Just rode up the elevator with her in silence.
When they reached their floor, they headed for their rooms, which were next to each other. “I’ll see you in the morning,” she said with another smile that felt like it might rip her face apart.
“Okay. Have a good night.”
Then finally she was able to step into her room and close the door behind her. She turned the deadbolt and leaned against the door, shaking slightly as emotion ripped through her.
It was fine. It was fine. She would be okay. She had a new job. A great job. The kind of job she’d always wanted.
She didn’t need Jake. For anything.
And he was a grown man. He would be okay without her.
She kept telling herself this as she pulled out the outfit she was going to wear tomorrow and hung it up. Then she called Raney and Meg and told them what happened.
Raney was convinced this was proof that Jake was desperately in love with her, and Meg told her not to do anything stupid. Anne felt a little better when she hung up, so she drew herself a hot bath, since it was a nice room with a great tub.
She was telling herself again that everything was fine as she got in to soak and try to relax.
Every time the thought of Jake flickered into her mind, she pushed it away intentionally. She ended up thinking about crazy things—like what would have happened if Mr. Darcy and Mr. Knightly got into a fight—but it was better than thinking about Jake.
She stayed in the bath too long, until the water was lukewarm and her fingers had pruned. Then she finally made herself get out.
She was drying off with one of the thick hotel towels when she heard a knock on her door.
It startled her so much she actually jumped.
She pulled on the little pink robe she always brought with her when she traveled and hurried to the door. When she looked out the peephole, she saw Jake standing in the hall, still wearing a suit and his hair more rumpled than ever.
She froze for a moment, torn between the need to open the door to discover what he wanted and the realization that her hair was piled unattractively on her head and she was just wearing a short, thin robe.
“Anne, please open the door,” he said from the hall.
He must have known she was standing on the other side. She swung the door open without thinking.
He stared at her, his eyes moving from her messy hair clipped up haphazardly to her slightly damp robe to her bare legs and feet.
“I was in the bath,” she said, by way of (obvious) explanation.
He didn’t say anything. Just stared at her. There was a tension in his body she just wasn’t used to seeing.
“What did you want?” she asked at last, shifting from foot to foot.
“I wanted to see if you were all right.”
She gave an exasperated sigh. “I’m fine. For God’s sake, Jake, why do you think I’m going to fall apart? Why would you assume I think a kiss is the end of the world?”
“Because I do.” His eyes were suddenly nakedly urgent. He took step toward her. “Because I do.”
“Because you what?”
“Feel like it’s the end of the world.”
She leaned against the doorframe, her heart overflowing again in that way that was so incredibly dangerous. “It’s not. It doesn’t matter.”
“It really didn’t matter to you?”
“Why would it matter?”
“Because I can’t stop thinking about it.” His voice was hoarse in a way that made her shiver. “Because I keep wanting to do it again. Even though I know I shouldn’t. Even though I know it’s wrong.”
“Oh.”
“So you don’t?”
She was overwhelmed with the rush of feeling that she couldn’t even see straight, much less think straight. She asked stupidly, “I don’t what?”
“You don’t want to kiss me again?”
“Of course, I do.”
His face broke with transparent relief. Then again, with a breathtaking hunger, as he reached to take her face in both of his hands. “Thank God.”
Before she knew what was happening, he was kissing her again.
It was just as wild and hungry as earlier that day beside the car, like some sort of unstoppable force had taken control of her body. She groaned helplessly into his mouth as he stepped her backwards until they were both inside the room. Then he pushed her back against the wall as he let the door close behind them.
His mouth claimed hers, hard and urgent, as he cupped her head with one hand and stroked from her side down to her thigh with the other.
Her vision blurred over with pleasure and need as she tried to meet and match his tongue with hers, as she clutched desperately at his strong shoulders.
“Damn, Anne,” he murmured against her mouth, pressing his body against hers so she was trapped between him and the wall. “I want you so much. I’ve wanted you for so long.”
She gasped helplessly as his mouth trailed along her jaw and then down her throat. “Me too.”
He lifted her thigh so she was wrapping one leg around his hips, and he found her mouth again in another deep kiss. Soon, she was throbbing with intense arousal and trying to rub herself against his thigh as she surrendered to the embrace.
She could tell he was just as turned on as she was. She found the bulge in the front of his pants and rubbed herself against it until he grunted.
“Please,” she panted, when he broke off the kiss at last. “Oh God, please, Jake. I can’t wait anymore.”
She’d never in her life been so shameless, so eager, so desperately aroused.
He made a low, throaty sound and moved them further into the room. The bed was too far away, so he propped her on the low dresser and untied her robe. The fabric fell away, revealing her naked breasts, abdomen, groin.
“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous.” He bent over to take one breast in his mouth, suckling until she was crying out from the sensual torment of it.
The edge of the dresser was poking into her ass uncomfortably, but she didn’t even care. She clung to his neck to stay balanced, trying to wrap her legs around him.
Soon, she couldn’t take it anymore, so she squeezed one hand down until she could find his erection, massaging him through his trousers until his whole body jerked and he released her breast.
“Damn, baby, you’re going to kill me,” he muttered, his eyes raking over her mostly naked body with a hot entitlement that thrilled her.
“You’re killing me. So please hurry up.”
Something flickered briefly on his face. “Damn it. We need a condom.”
“I’ve got one.” She couldn’t move very well, since she was trapped between his body and the dresser, but she managed to reach over for her purse, and she fumbled through it with one hand until she found a couple of condom packets in a zipper pocket.
He took one of them out of her trembling hand and quickly unwrapped it, undid his trousers, and rolled the condom on. Then he was parting her thighs, positioning himself at her entrance, starting to sink inside her.
She moaned uninhibitedly as she felt the hard substance of him enter her slowly. His body was big and hot against hers, and it felt like he was touching the deepest parts of her. But she needed more. So much more of him.
“Please,” she gasped, shifting to stabilize her balance and adjust to the penetration. “Jake, please.”
“Fuck, you feel so good.” He was holding one of her thighs. “Wrap your legs around me, baby.”
She moved her legs so they were around him more securely, and they both groaned as he sank into her more deeply.
Through the hot haze in her mind, she suddenly remembered something. “Is this hurting your knee?”
“Damn it, Anne, my knee is fine,” he replied in almost a growl. He gave a few little thrusts that made her cry out in pleasure. “I’m not an old man, you know.”
“I know.” She cried out again as he gave another hard pump, the friction generating intense pleasure inside her. “God, I know. I just don’t want—” She broke off with a gasp when he thrust again.
He established a steady rhythm then, bracing one arm on the dresser and moving his hips. He held her in position with his other hand on her bottom as he took her fast and hard.
Anne had no idea what was happening to her, but she was completely out of control. She squeezed him with her legs as tightly as she could and clawed at his back as the sensations rose inside her. She made little grunts every time he pushed into her, and they kept getting louder and louder as she lost all inhibitions.
Jake was grunting too, loud and low in his throat. And he’d occasionally mutter out a word like “baby” or “so good.”
Her climax was building quickly, and she dug her fingernails into Jake’s shirt with a loud sob of pleasure when the pressure finally broke.
He was right after her, letting out a long groan as his body tightened hard and then released in lingering shudders.
She’d barely come down enough to see his expression as he came, but through the blur she recognized the pleasure and relief twisting on his face. It did something powerful to her heart. As powerful as what had just happened to her body.
“Oh God,” she gasped, slightly hoarse. She couldn’t believe she’d let go so much.
She never let go that way.
A wave of both pleasure and embarrassment washed over her as she buried her face in his shoulder.
What the hell had just happened here?
Jake was even hotter than ever, and he was just as breathless as she was. He held her tightly with both arms for a moment before he released her.
“I’ve got to get the condom, baby,” he murmured into her hair.
She pulled herself together enough to unwrap her legs and arms from him, although it left her feeling limp and shaky. He gently extracted himself from her body, and then he limped to the bathroom to dispose of the condom.
She knew his knee had been bothering him.
She felt awkward, confused, and terrified at the same time. She didn’t know what was going on. It had all happened so fast. And it had inevitably changed things between them.
She didn’t trust her legs to support her, so she went to sit on the edge of the bed. She was tying her robe closed again when Jake returned from the bathroom.
He still wore his clothes—wrinkled dress shirt and the trousers from his suit. His dark hair was hopelessly tousled, and he had a heavy five-o’clock shadow that made him look even sexier than normal.
He also had a deliciously warm and relaxed look about him that she really liked.
“Why are you closing your robe?” he asked, coming over to join her at the bed.
“Because I’m not in the habit of going around naked.”
He gave her an unexpectedly rakish grin. “I think you should change your habits, then.”
She was intensely relieved at his mood, since it sounded like what had just happened wouldn’t just be a random fluke that would leave things inescapably broken between them. “I don’t think I’ll ever be in the habit of going around naked,” she told him, her breathing picking up as he slowly pushed her down onto her back and untied her robe again.
His eyes were hot and possessive as he gently moved the fabric aside to reveal her bare flesh. “That would be a real shame.”
He gazed at her for a long time, until she shifted slightly with self-consciousness. “Okay,” she said at last. “I think you’ve seen what there is to see.”
His gray eyes flickered up to her face. “I haven’t seen nearly enough of you.”
But he did bend down then and kiss his way from her collarbone to one of her nipples, where he flicked his tongue, teasing her until she made a helpless sound of pleasure.
He smiled. “I like that you’re loud.”
She sucked in an indignant breath, flushing hotly. “I’m not loud.”
With a low chuckle, he gave her nipple a little nip, and she cried out in response before she could stop herself.
“I’m not that loud,” she insisted, when she saw the amused vindication in his expression.
“It wasn’t an insult,” he said, still looking both fond and amused. “I just said I liked it. You’re normally so quiet and composed. I love that I can make you completely let go. It’s intoxicating.” As he spoke, he fondled her breasts, his eyes never leaving her face.
She arched up into his touch but managed to say with a degree of lucidity, “Still, I’m not that loud.”
The truth was, she’d never been particularly loud in sex at all.
But she’d also never had sex with Jake before either.
Everything was different with him.
He spent a long time caressing her, teasing her into heights of arousal she’d never experienced before. But she kept biting her lip when she got too loud in some irrational need to prove to him that she wasn’t as loud as he thought.
“It’s no use,” he murmured eventually, his mouth against her belly. “It won’t be long until I make you scream.”
“I’m not about to scream,” she told him, with more confidence than was entirely warranted.
“Keep telling yourself that. Now turn over.”
“What?”
“Turn over. Onto your stomach.”
“That sounds kind of bossy.”
“I thought you said I was the boss everywhere except the file room.” There was laughter in his tone that was as sexy as his touch.
“You’re the boss everywhere except the file room and
the bedroom.”
He cocked an eyebrow at her. “So you’re not going to turn over?”
“If you ask nicely.”
“Turn over, baby.” It wasn’t a request. It was a guttural command that made her clench hard.
“You’ll have to practice asking nicely,” she said, turning over because there was no way she could resist anymore.
“I’ll practice as much as you want.” He adjusted her body the way he wanted it with his strong hands, until she was sprawled out on her stomach beside him.
She gave him a look over her shoulder, just to let him know she didn’t appreciate his smug tone.
She did actually appreciate his tone, but he didn’t have to know that.
He was chuckling again as he kissed his way down her spine, stroking her skin as he did so until her arousal threatened to drive her crazy.
When his mouth was at the small of her back, she shifted uncomfortably and tried to turn back over.
“Hey,” he objected. “I’m not done yet. I haven’t made you scream.”
“You can make me scream when I turn over.”
“What’s the matter?” he asked in a different tone, obviously noticing something in her expression.
She sighed. “My ass isn’t my best feature, so I’d rather not show it off.”
She was looking at him over her shoulder, so she saw surprise reflected on his face. “What are you talking about?”
“What do you mean, what am I talking about?”
“Your ass is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
“No need to exaggerate. I’m not expecting ridiculous flattery, you know.”
“It’s not flattery. It’s the truth. You have no idea how much your ass turns me on. Everything about you turns me on.” He bent down again and pressed a kiss at the small of her back. Then lower, at the top of her bottom. He stroked her with a slow, sensual touch. “I’ve always had to be sure not to walk behind you, since the sight of your ass gives me very inappropriate thoughts.”
It sounded like he was speaking the truth. The heated look in his eyes as he stared down at her body certainly looked like he was speaking the truth. The knowledge sent another wave of feeling through her, this one even deeper, even stronger.
