by Laura Acton
Keeping Tabs
29
February 25
TRF HQ – Briefing Room – 7:30 a.m.
Nick finished the start of shift briefing as he said, “Okay boys and girl, it’s time to keep the peace. Off you go.”
Jon chimed in with one more item as the team rose, “Don’t forget our zoo field trip on the fourth. Meet at the entrance at ten o’clock sharp. We want to win the competition, so we need to do a bit of recon.”
A small grin lit Dan’s face. Although work-related as it would be used for pre-planning stratagem for the team-against-team training competition taking place there on the seventh, he looked forward to the trip to the zoo. Having not been to a zoo since he was eight and never having been to the Toronto Zoo, he thought it would be fun. He rose with the rest of the team and started for the door.
“Dan, hold up a moment,” Nick said.
TRF HQ – Heading towards SUV
As Lexa headed towards the exit for the parking garage, she wondered what Boss wanted to say to Dan he couldn’t say in front of them. She hoped Boss had not caught the few glances she shared with Dan since Valentine’s Day. It became clear to her they both felt the pull. Lexa needed to put her head on straight. She couldn’t believe she actually considering sleeping with her teammate again—she must be certifiable.
So much for just being friends. An attraction she couldn’t deny any more existed, but she had to resist acting irrationally. She didn’t dare risk everything she worked for just because she desired to rip Dan’s clothes off and enjoy a night of wild sex as she each time he gazed at her with his velvety blue eyes.
Lexa growled low as she strode for the SUV. She must stop this line of thinking. Oh so dangerous. Getting into bed with him again cannot happen.
She racked her brain for a more logical reason why Boss would converse with Dan alone. It came to her, Lexa noticed Boss often pulled Dan off to the side and spoke to him without the team. He is only doing his job and checking in with our rookie. Dan does need the additional support and mentoring.
Yeah, that’s all there is to this. Boss has no clue what dwells hidden away in my mind. No inkling of my desire to jump into the sack with Broderick. And there is no way he can read Dan … he is unreadable … except if you look closely.
Aw crap! I’m fooling myself—Boss studies us all attentively. Will he find out? Lexa sighed reaching the vehicle. She needed something to do to keep from swirling and decided to do a quick inventory. It would stop her mind off things she should not be contemplating while at work—namely raking her nails down Dan’s back as he skillfully drove her wild.
TRF HQ – Briefing Room
When Boss waved to a chair next to him, Dan moved toward it and attempted to maintain his relaxed façade. Boss kept close tabs on him lately. It started after they found him asleep on the rooftop but intensified after his stupid stunt when he took down the subject with the crossbow. Although constantly under scrutiny, like a bug on display in a jar, he didn’t get a malicious vibe from Boss. Quite the opposite … like he genuinely cared.
But with his repressed musings, heavy scrutiny became risky. He thought about Lexa often and ended up staring at her when he shouldn’t. If Boss got wind of his attraction to her, he could be fired. As the sense of being part of the team grew, he began to believe Brody’s hopes and dreams for him might be possible. He may have found a place to belong again.
Things had changed since Christmas. The team encouraged him to voice his opinions, and he started to stand up for himself again. Jon didn’t rant at him every shift about not following policies and procedures or mock him when he screwed up, though he still shouted. They had engaged in a few over-enthusiastically, loud exchanges of heated words as each defended their opinion on tactics. Often their confrontations ended at loggerhead.
Jon seemed more like Blaze these days—a mentor, but someone who still demanded the best from his team. But unlike Blaze, Jon remained hard to read and Dan never quite knew what to expect from his tactical lead.
Before Christmas, Dan had been close to calling it quits, to end his quest for the Beauty of Life. The ivory-handled pistol’s voice grew stronger, to the point, he found himself seriously contemplating suicide again. But not so much now.
The ever-present nightmares remained, but he became proactive in his effort to achieve rest. Last week he purchased an over the counter sleeping aid, the same brand Patch used with him on an intermittent basis while in Kandahar. Patch would slip him the pills sometimes when he came back from a mission with another unit too wired to sleep, but in desperate need of rest, or when the nightmares became too invasive.
A pang of loss lanced his heart as he thought about Patch. Which led him to think about Brody, Blaze, Winds, Mason, and Ripsaw. The heaviness of his loss hung over him like a personal storm cloud. Rumbling in the distance, even when a few rays of sunshine began peeking through.
Though perceiving the need for sleeping pills as a weakness, Dan conceded he needed decent rest to stay on the top of his game to protect the team. He used them on his days off because he couldn’t risk oversleeping on work days. Jon would ream him for missing workout and arriving late. Fortunately, a couple of nights of uninterrupted sleep helped quell the call to oblivion.
Pushing those thoughts away, Dan adjusted his mask to conceal his pain, sat in the chair, and waited for Boss to speak.
Nick took a moment to study his rookie. He employed a tactic of impromptu check-ins with Dan ever since the team met and reviewed how horribly they mistreated Dan, in an effort to understand the man. Learning how Dan’s mind worked, and extending a hand of friendship was Nick’s way of attempting to make up for his error in judgment and poor treatment of Dan.
Though other things Nick’s concerns continued, especially after Dan endangered his well-being by taking such a substantial personal risk two weeks ago. The dark circles under Dan’s eyes persisted, and he wondered if Dan might still be potentially suicidal—even though Dan’s explanation of why he acted rashly and tackled the crossbow subject made sense.
Dan’s reason for jeopardizing his safety was he grew tired of killing. Toady’s chat stemmed from that and yesterday’s call. Circumstances required Dan to neutralize a subject in front of the man’s children. Although a clean shot and necessary action, this call undoubtedly impacted Dan.
Nick gave Dan a warm smile. “I didn’t get a chance to check in with you last night. How are you doing after our last call yesterday?”
Ah, so that’s the reason for the sit-down. Dan finished rather late with NRB—Dick Donner continued to be an ass, and as a result of his extended interview with the agent of the Nonpartisan Review Board, a citizen watchdog group tasked with keeping the police accountable for lethal action, Dan missed the debrief. “Doing okay. It isn’t the first time for a lethal.”
Kind eyes peered at Dan. “I’m aware, but I wanted to ask. We can switch you to less lethal for a while if you need time.” Nick paid close attention noting a more closed-off exterior but a slight flicker of emotion in his eyes.
Concerned NRB hassled Dan over the shooting Nick said, “NRB kept you a long time. Did Agent Donner give you a hard time again?”
“No. Gibbson arrived at NRB before me. He kept Donner mostly in line.”
“I’m glad Gibbson is in your corner. He’s a decent man. I’m not sure what’s up with Donner. Not all the agents are like him.”
Dan raised one eyebrow. “I wouldn’t know. I end up with the Dick most times.”
Nick couldn’t stop the smile and the crinkle of humor in his eyes at Dan’s intentional slip—he said the Dick instead of Dick when referencing the agent. Most agents performed a thorough interview, a few became antagonistic, but no one seemed to be interrogated by NRB as intensively as Dan continued to be grilled by Donner. Unfortunately, Dan drew Richard Donner for almost every lethal action. The likelihood of random assignment appeared dubious. What are the odds of ending up with the same member of the NRB each time?
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br /> Leaving his question unanswered, Nick asked, “Do you have any concerns you would like to discuss regarding the call since you couldn’t be here for debrief?”
Dan shook his head. “No. The decision for PapaGulf was clear-cut and by the book. You did everything possible. We couldn’t allow him to throw his kids off the bridge.”
Killing the man in front of children was difficult and not his preferred choice, but he had to protect innocent lives. After his screw up on Valentine’s Day, Dan learned a hard lesson … not everyone could be saved. The kids would receive counseling, not that grief therapy ever helped him after Sara died, but it did help many people, and he hoped these children would benefit.
Taking a deep breath, Nick tried to read Dan. His difficulty in this task persisted. Dan usually appeared closed off. Though he noted, Dan’s clipped answers began to expand and soften, as he found new confidence, which he used to stand up for himself. Dan would now present justifications for his actions when Jon went off the deep-end with him. Nonetheless, Dan’s military-developed stoicism still differed from the street sense possessed by rest of the team, making it hard to perceive what occupied the mindset behind the shields.
Nick smiled and said, “Okay. If you ever want to talk I’m here for you. I’m open to talking about anything.”
Dan stood and almost came to attention. “Is that all, sir … Boss?” As he forcefully made his body assume a more relaxed stance, Dan wondered where his behavior stemmed. It had been a while since he relied on military formality to hide his emotions. He concluded that although Boss’ intentions were benign, unlike the general’s hawk-eyes seeking any mistake, the extra scrutiny involved with being the team’s rookie caused his reaction.
“Yes. Lexa is waiting. Keep the peace.”
Dan turned with military precision and strode out ready to start patrolling. He enjoyed the natural banter emboldened and nurtured by his multi-levelled conversations with Lexa over the past few weeks. When they grabbed a coffee after shift and sat in Timmy’s parking lot in her Jeep, their lively repartees served not only to increase their joie de vivre but to provide them with a safe way to share off-duty time together. Conversation and coffee were as far as either of them could go without crossing the line to something which would result in them losing their jobs.
Nick sighed perceiving the military stride. They made inroads and observed changes, but Dan’s resurfacing formality, the attention stance and referring to him sir, disconcerted Nick. Dan had been transitioning to calling him Boss with an occasional Sarge thrown in—like the rest of the team, but the Sir had been gone for some time now.
He still feared they might lose the struggling, wounded, young man to suicide, but his trepidations began to diminish a little each day. Bram’s connection flourished, and Nick recognized the rapport developing between Dan, Loki, and Ray as he joined them a few times in after-shift outings.
And Lexa appeared to be doing a wonderful job of drawing Dan out of his shell. He found their multi-faceted conversations while patrolling hard to follow sometimes, but the heart of their team had discovered a means to reach Dan. Her ability assisted the entire team in their effort to establish meaningful connections with their newest family member.
Nick turned to the ever-present and incomplete reports requiring his attention. Some days he hated being Sergeant because of all the paperwork. He overheard Tia ask Dan to run some boxes down to records for her. Nick glanced out of the briefing room and smiled as Dan obliged and chuckled as Tia indicated why he shouldn’t take the stairs.
No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
30
February 25
TRF HQ – Dispatch Desk – 7:40 a.m.
Tia spotted Dan leaving the briefing room, and she smiled at him. He gave her a small smile back. Goodness, he is handsome when he grins. Wonder what he would look like if his smile lit his eyes. In her brightest voice, Tia requested, “Hey, Dan, would you mind running these three boxes down to records for me on your way out?”
Dan peered at the three banker boxes. “Sure, no problem.” He bent and picked them up. Though not heavy, they blocked his view when he lifted them. Dan started for the stairwell peeking around the side.
“Carrying those down the stairs might be hazardous, take the lift.”
“I’m okay.”
Laughing, Tia said, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you. Imagine how much Jon will yell if you accidentally trip. Not to mention, I’ll make you sort out all the files if they get mixed up.”
Cringing inwardly, Dan modified his path. He pushed the button and waited as anxiety spiked the pit of his stomach.
TRF HQ – Elevator – 7:42 a.m.
When the door slid open, Dan entered and pressed the basement button with his extended middle finger. He laughed lightly as he essentially flipped off the elevator dispelling a bit of his apprehension. He avoided elevators like the plague. Tight, metal spaces unnerved him ever since the Humvee hit the IED. Being trapped in a Humvee with Mason while Mason tried to pull out a shard of shrapnel had been disturbing and painful. Dan feared Mason’s success, and he would have been forced to watch helplessly as his brother bled out.
The doors shut and Dan’s world closed around him. Confined spaces also reminded him of being there. He only ever called the place he had been held there because he had no clue where the stronghold was located. Being a captive of terrorists were the worst three months of his miserable life … whipped, locked in a tiny cell, chained to the wall like an animal, lying in his filth, tortured, starving, and …
Dan hummed softly trying to distract himself from thoughts of his time at the hands of sadistic bastards. He worked extremely hard to tuck away recollections of those months and never allow them in the light of day. Memories could overpower him if he ever allowed them out of the carefully constructed box he put them in. Box … yeah … boxes were part of his life. Compartments to put things into and lock away so he could move forward. Though fate treated him cruelly and screwed with him at every turn.
One reason he never took the lift at his apartment complex. The damned thing broke down often. He had been trapped inside once for twenty minutes and contemplated opening the top escape hatch and climbing up the cables when the power came back on. Stuck in an elevator for any amount of time made him uneasy. Dan justified his avoidance of the apartment’s elevator as a means to stay fit. Jogging up ten flights at the end of shift was often exhausting, but better than getting imprisoned again.
Dan glanced up at the numbers as they slowly counted down. The number one dimmed, and he waited for the B to illuminate. He would jog back up the stairs after he dropped the files off at records. He blew out a slow breath, but the metal coffin came to a stop with a jerk, and the emergency lighting turned on as the bright overhead lights flickered and shut off.
Crap! Fate is screwing with me again. Dan set his burden down and jammed a finger on the buttons. Nothing happened. He pulled out his cell and dialed.
TRF HQ – Dispatcher Desk – 7:45 a.m.
Tia answered the direct line to TRF. “Tactical Response Force.”
“Hey, Tia, Dan here. Um … the elevator is stuck. Any idea why?” Dan kept his voice soft and hopefully calm sounding.
“You’re stuck?” Her tone held a note of disbelief.
Dan took two steps one way and pivoted taking two the other way. “Um … yeah. Stopped between the first floor and the basement.”
“Okay, I’ll contact maintenance,” Tia stated.
“Um … can you tell Boss? Lexa is waiting for me too.” Dan paced like a caged lion as his anxiety increased.
“Yeah, I’ll inform him.” Tia laughed and teased, “Don’t go anywhere and I’ll call maintenance.”
Letting out a nervous laugh, Dan peered at the ceiling. “Okay.” Yeah, right, where would I go? Perhaps I can climb out and pry open the door above me. Dan shook his head. No, you would show your weakness. Tough it out, Broderick. You can do this.
Tia telephoned maintenance.
Frustrated, she called out, “Boss.”
Nick swiveled, glanced up from his paperwork, and spotted Tia motioning to him. He stood and went to her desk. “Yes, Tia.”
“Dan took some cartons downstairs for me on his way out. The elevator broke down between floors. I’ve called service, but it will be at least an hour before a technician arrives. Dan is stuck for now.”
“Thanks for informing me. I’ll notify Lexa.” Nick started back to the room.
“You want me to tell Dan?”
Responding over his shoulder, Nick said, “No, I’ll call him.”
Nick paused a moment in thought. Given the little he knew about his rookie, Dan wouldn’t be pleased about being trapped. He would probably be worried about being yelled at for taking time to help Tia instead of going directly to meet Lexa. He would call Dan and assure him everything was okay. First, he called Lexa, so she didn’t worry when Dan did not show up.
TRF HQ – Elevator – 7:55 a.m.
Dan paced in a circle around the metal cell actively doing sniper breathing to quell rising anxiety. He wiped the sweat beading on his forehead. It is only an elevator. Maintenance will be here in a few moments, and I’ll be freed.
“Calm down, Broderick, you’re not some nervous nelly,” he breathed out as he forced himself to stop pacing. Dan leaned back against the wall, slowed his inhalations and attempted to slow his racing heart. “Chill, just chill.” He conjured up an image of being up in a tree with the wind blowing in his face. Dan’s heart rate began to decrease.
Using his prior training, Dan focused on tricking his mind. This would be no different than disassociating when he had been tortured. All he had to do was find a happy … no easy task with his current mindset, but he attempted. I’m up high and free. A cool wind is moving white, puffy clouds across the sky. What shapes can you make in the clouds?
