by Jules Dixon
I got to Avery’s apartment and rang the doorbell.
No answer.
I rang it again, using the buzzer assault method Aidan had used earlier.
My phone rang in my pocket.
Avery. Thank God.
“Avery, please, let me in so we can talk.”
“Bryson, it’s me.”
Took a second for me to realize it was her brother and not let jealousy that some other man was in her place. I wasn’t that guy, but I wasn’t me right now. My voice came out with a couple of cracks in the edges, “Oh, hi, Aidan. Can I talk to Avery, please? No, can I come in and take care of her?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. She’s too upset. Your sister is quite the welcome wagon for your family, Welch.”
“I can only imagine, she’s not a friendly or happy person. Aiden, I’ll apologize for whatever happened, but I need to apologize for what I’ve done first in person. Please, I promise, I wasn’t fishing when it comes to your sister. I love her.”
I could hear sobbing in the background.
“Sorry, Bryson. She’s too upset. Maybe tomorrow. Have a good night.”
The line clicked dead while his send-off kicked me in the gut.
Good night? No fucking way that will happen.
I dialed Avery’s number and the line rolled to voice mail.
“Avery, please, let’s talk about this. I texted Quinn by accident. Whatever Emerson said, just know that she’s psycho and I told her I won’t have her in my life anymore. You are my life.” My body went rigid as my throat tightened. “Avery Knicely, what we have is special. It is real. I love you and I’m not giving up.”
My finger hovered over the phone to disconnect as if pushing the red circle would disconnect the connection between Avery and me, too.
I pressed the button, and the cold air burned my lungs as I inhaled a sharp breath. In a fog of disappointment, I backed the truck from the parking space and headed to my apartment. Lying in bed, I wanted to call or text or e-mail or send up a smoke signal or sky-write Avery with what I wanted to say, but that wasn’t what she needed. She needed something more.
But what?
****
Around two in the morning, I woke with the need to do something. I pulled my laptop off my desk. It wasn’t much but it was a start to remind her of the man I was. A dozen red roses with red ribbons tied to each stem to be delivered the next day. On the card, I had written: My beautiful Avery, these are the strings that hold my heart to yours. I love you.
Sleep wasn’t going to happen. I moved into the living room and lay in the recliner staring at the TV when Jake rolled in from his night.
“Hey.” He eyed me up. “Things didn’t get any better?”
“No.”
Jake sat on the sofa. Normally, he would whine about me sitting in his chair but he didn’t say a word. He stared at me, then at the TV and back to me. “You realize that’s not on, right?”
I hadn’t.
Jake grabbed the remote and turned on the television. Well into the next day we were still right there. Neither of us had suggested food or the gym or anything.
My phone buzzed and I grabbed it before it vibrated off the recliner arm.
Avery: Thank you for the roses. I need to do some thinking, by myself. I have no regrets about anything. Goodbye.
“Avery?” Jake asked.
“She told me good-bye by text.”
“Bry, I’m sorry. That’s rough.”
I explained what happened to Jake.
“Your sister … damn, that girl isn’t right.”
“Tell me something I don’t know.”
Jake kept his eyes pointed at the TV. “Bryson, were you in love with Avery?”
“No.” I paused and he started to open his mouth. I turned to him. “I am in love with Avery.”
He sat up. “Shit, bro, that’s huge. Does she love you, too?”
The knowledge was the only thing keeping me upright.
“She does. I don’t know what it was that really happened. I know Emerson was a huge part, but there was something else. I have to figure out what it was.”
Jake stood and stalked the room, the wheels of his imagination were a little scary, but I’d go with it for now. “Maybe you should go about it a different way?”
“What do you mean?”
“I think you need to show her you listened to her by not trying to fix what happened. Every guy messes up occasionally. But if you can show her you listened and noticed the small stuff, then she’ll know the things that are big and important to her are just as big and important to you, too.”
I popped the bottom of the chair down and leaned forward. “Since when do you give relationship advice that doesn’t sound like you’re speaking through your dick as a microphone?”
He laughed. “I have the heart of a romantic in me, it was being smothered by a semen buildup in my blood.”
I laughed, but stopped when I reviewed his last sentence. “Was? Did you get some last night?”
“Hey, this is about you, not me.” He smirked. “And a gentleman never tells.”
“Gentleman?”
“Whatever.” He backed against the wall. “Avery needs to remember the real you and the big thing you guys have in common.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What?”
“Love.”
Something had come over him, but I didn’t know what. The change was a little concerning, but I’d assume it was for the better.
“Love.”
We watched more TV.
I turned to him. “Might need your help with recon, intel, and tech.”
“Just name it.”
And I did.
Chapter Twenty
Avery
I stayed in bed and stared at the roses that sat on my nightstand. It had been almost two days since I ran barefoot from the Triple R party. When I started listening to Bryson’s voice mail over and over, I turned my phone off and asked Aidan to keep it until I used my redhead influence to ask for it back.
He stepped into the doorway. “Hey, sis. Let’s go get some lunch. I’m tired of eating frozen enchiladas. Plus, you haven’t eaten anything in two days.”
“No, you go. I’m fine.”
He sat on the bottom of the bed. “You’re not fine. At least get out of bed and come out to watch some movies with me. Adam and the girls are at a birthday party today while Shari works. I’ll go see them tomorrow.”
I growled when he grabbed my arm and lifted me from the bed. “Give me a few minutes to shower. We’ll go get food.”
“Good, ‘cause you stink.”
I pushed on his back down the hall, and he chuckled.
I prepared myself for socially acceptable viewing. We made our way out the front door. My feet skidded on the icy sidewalk.
Aidan ran into my back. “Sis, I promise, you look fine.”
I pointed to the snow pile in the parking lot.
Aidan wrapped his arms around me. “I think someone has something he wants you to hear.”
I stared. Before I even asked for it, Aidan held my phone in my line of vision. I took a picture of the creative eight-foot-tall airbrushed, lacey, red heart that had our initials in script the middle.
A.K. + B.W. = LOVE
In snow.
We got to my car and drove off to stuff ourselves with burgers at Five Guys Burgers and Fries. When we got back, I stared at the heart again. I pulled out my phone and started a text to Bryson.
Avery: Beautiful heart.
I didn’t know what else to say or how to even say it so I left the text as-is and turned off my phone. Aidan supported me in my need to watch romantic comedies and other chick flicks. The fact that he wasn’t telling me what to do was both therapeutic and frustrating, but this one was for me to figure out. I’d allowed my family to tell me what to do and how to do it for too long. My past with snarky girls and doubts of my own worth had come back in a raging double-punch. I needed to bring back that girl
with confidence and purpose that I’d recently found.
The next day I was feeling a little better and Aidan headed off to Adam’s place. I walked into the dealership, and when I rounded the front desk, there was something sitting on my chair.
After removing my coat, I picked up the white, heart-shaped box so I could sit. The box stared at me while I got my computer up and running and checked the voice mailbox of the dealership, forwarding messages as necessary. I ran my fingers over the tangle of crimson curling ribbon that wrapped around the heart. I slipped the ribbon off and opened the box. Inside were twelve luscious red strawberries dipped in dark chocolate.
Not milk chocolate. Dark chocolate.
I lifted my phone from my desk and snapped a picture, then took one out and bit into it. Decadent. I set the other half down and went to pick up my phone again when a note attached to the inside of the lid caught my eye. Tugging it from the small piece of tape, I opened the note and read:
Sweet Avery,
The red ribbon reminds me of your hair and how it tangles around me as we sleep. Enjoy your guilty pleasure. My heart is yours, and I have no guilt about that.
I love you.
Bry
I opened my texts and the one to him was still there, unfinished.
Avery: Beautiful heart. Dark guilty pleasures.
Even if it was fast, if Bryson’s love was true—and I believed it was—I was afraid his love might fade if I didn’t make a move soon. But how? This relationship territory was new and strange to me. I closed my phone as a well of tears blurred my vision. I shook them off. They didn’t help me with knowing what to do, and I had to concentrate on work.
Around five o’clock, a tiny flutter started in my stomach. With every minute, the feeling grew until the tingle was as if a million butterflies were attempting to kiss their way through my abdomen. Tonight was personal training with Jude and after my appointment was Bryson’s.
What would I say to him?
At six, I slid the heart box in my bag and headed to my car. More snow had fallen during the day. My fingers tingled with a chill. I reached into my bag but remembered my gloves were still on my desk at home. I walked around the corner to the employee lot. My tingling hand covered my mouth as my body responded to the sight. My car was the only one in the whole dealership lot that was one hundred percent cleaned of snow. I didn’t know how Bryson did it, but even the inside was warm. And on the passenger seat, there was my winter coat I’d left at the Triple R party and a pair of red gloves. I slipped the gloves on, finding the inside was filled with fur that caressed my skin like his lips used to. Like he was meant to. There was no note but it wasn’t necessary.
I opened that text to him.
Avery: Beautiful heart. Guilty pleasures. Warm car. Protected hands.
I closed the text. It still seemed not enough to say, there was more to say.
So much more.
My foot had a mind of its own, depressing the accelerator as if it knew what I really wanted. But I didn’t need a speeding ticket. I calmed my body by listening to Christmas music on the way to Triple R. I searched the parking lot for his truck. I didn’t see it but my heart tingled a flutter of anticipation.
He’s here. He’s got to be here.
After changing into my workout clothes, I found Jude. He acted like everything was normal, and I hadn’t up and left the Triple R party in a rush. I decided that was a good way to move forward with him. But there was something I couldn’t move forward on. My eyes skimmed the mirror-covered walls. Bouncing. Searching. Watching for him.
Jude stepped in front of me. “Avery, Bryson cancelled his appointment.”
The resistance band I was using slipped from my hand and acted like a rubberized boomerang. Jude jumped to the side. I rubbed my leg where the band had snapped back and flicked me.
“Are you okay?” Jude chuckled through the question.
I decided to find the humor in the situation too. “Yes … and no.”
“I understand. Let’s go run. You’re my last client today and I need to get out some wedding planning anxiety out on the treadmill.”
We began a challenging pace. I had my headphones in and started getting into the Foo Fighters latest album, when all fifty-plus TV screens in the building changed over to Elf. Gym patrons started pointing at the screens like they were part of some holiday trickery. I was still running, but I slowed my machine when I saw Jude had stepped down from his. I yanked my earbuds out. Along with my favorite holiday movie, “All I Want for Christmas is You” was booming over the loudspeaker.
Blake shot out of his office. “What the hell is going on? Jude!”
Jude shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.
I stopped my machine and giggled. Watching everyone in the gym as they suspended what they were doing in a totally confused but entertaining way. After the music ended, his voice boomed over the sound system. “Avery, all I want is you. Forever.”
I bit my lip to keep my emotions in check.
Jude stared at me. “Something wrong, Avery?”
“I got scared that it was too fast and not real.” I stepped from the machine, and Jude pulled me into a hug as my heart started to do jumping-jacks in my chest.
“Hey, it happens.”
“I don’t know how to fix us.”
“Let Bryson do the fixing. That’s obviously what he needs to do. He’ll come back to you when you’re ready for him. He’ll know. Less worrying about what happened and more thinking about how you’re feeling and what you want to have happen.”
Just trust in you.
I dug my fingers into the back of his black Triple R shirt and cried against his chest. I not only wanted Bryson back, but I needed him to the very core of my being. That deep-seated ache I’d never experienced before was overwhelming, but so beautiful and comforting. He was meant to be mine, and I was meant to be his.
“Hey, no more crying. Enjoy his efforts. Guys don’t always get it right. I’d say he’s doing a damn good job.”
I relaxed my body with a deep breath and stepped back. “You’re right. Thanks.”
“Anytime. I need to get home. Things to do before Saturday. You’ll be there, right?”
“Of course, I wouldn’t miss watching two people who obviously were meant to be together making it forever.”
“Nicely said.”
I giggled at the pun on my name that Jude didn’t even realize he’d said. I grabbed my bag from the locker room and headed out, still hoping to catch a glimpse of Bryson. I missed him. So much. I grabbed my phone and opened the text to him but there was already a text there.
Bryson: I miss you. I hope you already knew that. I need you. I hope you feel that. I love you. I hope you believe that. I will wait for you as long as it takes.
He might make a mistake or two, but he sure knew how to apologize. I almost looked forward to years of mistakes and apologies. And there was no doubt in my mind of his sincerity about his love. The strings of my heart tried to close the distance between us.
Avery: Beautiful heart. Guilty pleasures. Warm car. Protected Hands. Laughing and crying happy tears. I’m sorry for questioning how fast we moved and if what we have is real. I believe you. Please come back to me. I love you, Bryson.
I headed toward the entrance of Triple R. I would go to his apartment and wait for him. As I neared the doors, Bryson stepped into my path.
“I’m sorry for everything, too,” he said, pulling me against him. My heartstrings threaded back to him. “I will spend the rest of my life making sure I’m the first one to know what you need before you need it, Avery.”
The tears ran down my cheeks into his shirt.
“Happy tears?” he asked, his fingers wiping them away.
“You’ll never know how happy.”
“If it takes forever to find out, I’m in, because Avery… I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
Epilogue
Bryson
I sang the song
lightly in Avery’s ear while swaying to the beat. She lifted her head off of my shoulder and her lips skimmed mine.
“I love that I can kiss you anytime I want to.” Her teal-colored eyes glowed with a kaleidoscope of colors from the DJ’s flashing lights.
“And anywhere,” I whispered in her ear.
“And everywhere.”
The night had been pretty damn incredible. I’d only been to a couple weddings in my life, but Jude and Presley had done it right.
At least in my mind.
And Avery had made the night even better. An emerald-green formfitting dress of slippery fabric skated over her curves and stretched in all the right places. Her red hair was piled on her head in this twist of curls that seemed to have no beginning or end. I tightened my hold on her, and she laid her head on my shoulder again.
“What kind of wedding do you want, Avery?”
A light sigh sliced through a drop in the volume of the music. “Small, like this one. Just me and…” She tensed.
“And me?”
“And a few of our friends and family. Nothing fancy.”
I’d met her parents and all the brothers this morning. The brothers held me hostage while we were out looking for a tree for the entry of the farmhouse. I’d never been interrogated, but I imagined that the CIA couldn’t do a better job than those three. Aidan had been the voice of reason when I was about at my limits. He still hadn’t told Avery what the fish tattoo meant, but I’d come to realize that was their relationship, and what wasn’t said was stronger than what was.
“I have to use the restroom. Be right back.” Avery kissed my cheek and stepped away.
I followed behind her and stepped to where Jake stood with Chloe Royer and Rory Jessen. I watched him help Chloe with her coat. I’d only met her a couple of times, but since she was pregnant with our coworker, Oliver Aston’s, child, I wasn’t sure that the way he was looking at her was a good thing. But he’d helped me with Avery, so I’d keep my mouth shut.
