by Alexa Land
He changed his grip on my body, slinging his arm around the front of my shoulders, and I grasped his arm with both hands, gasping as he rotated his finger inside me. He began to slowly fuck my hole, being careful not to go too deep. God it felt good. I panted and begged, “More. Fuck me, Dmitri. Please.”
Slowly, he withdrew his finger from inside me, and I cried out frantically, “No, please! Don’t stop!”
He stroked my lower back soothingly as he said, “I’m going to dry you off and take you to bed now, sweetheart. Then we’re going to pick up right where we left off. Ok?”
I turned to him and nodded, and he drew me into a hug. And I realized then that my entire body was shaking. I hadn’t even noticed.
Dmitri toweled us off, then took my hand and led me to his bed, where he guided me to lie on my back. I did as I was told without question or comment – I didn’t want to say or do anything to derail where this was going.
He got a tube of something from his nightstand and crawled up on the bed between my legs, then spread me gently. He squeezed a dollop of lube onto his finger, and then brought his hand back to my hole, again massaging the outside before sliding his finger in me. I bit back a whimper, and his eyes locked with mine. “Are you ok, Jamie?”
“Yes. Please Dmitri – don’t stop.”
“I’m not going to stop, baby – not unless you tell me to. And remember that you can do that at any time, ok?”
“Don’t want you to stop. Please.”
Slowly, patiently, he worked my opening, eventually sliding a second finger in me along with the first. I felt my body squeezing his fingers, and then after a while I felt myself relaxing around them. He finger fucked me slowly, still being frustratingly gentle with me. I bucked a little, trying to take him deeper, and his free hand splayed out on my stomach, pressing me down as he said, “Easy, baby. I don’t want you to hurt yourself.” I gripped the sheets with both hands and tried to hold still.
Finally he seemed satisfied with his efforts. He prepared himself with a condom and lube, and then worked more lube into me. I propped myself up on my elbows to watch, my heart pounding and my body shaking as my hard cock leaked precum all over my belly.
Dmitri lifted my ankles onto his shoulders and positioned his cock at my opening. It looked impossible. Two fingers had already been tight. I didn’t know how that big, hard cock would ever fit in me. He rocked forward just a little so he was pressed firmly against my hole, and then locked eyes with me and whispered, “Jamie, sweetheart, are you sure about this? Absolutely sure?”
“Yes Dmitri. God, yes.”
He held my gaze as he pushed against me, and after a moment the head of his cock entered me. I gasped, my eyes going wide with surprise, my body trembling. He kept talking to me quietly, soothingly, encouraging me as he took hold of my hips and slowly, so excruciatingly slowly, worked his way into me.
“Are you ok, baby?” he asked, watching me closely.
“I’m fine. Please don’t stop. I want you in me. I want you so bad,” I whispered. He took my cock in his hand and began to stroke me, and leaned forward and kissed me as he pushed into me a little farther.
When about half his length was in me, he paused to let me get used to it and then he began to thrust, slowly, carefully, in and out of me. “Oh God Dmitri, yes,” I whispered. He threw his head back and closed his eyes, moaning with pleasure, before falling forward and locking eyes with me. One of his hands still held my cock, the other pressed into the pillow beside my head as he propped himself up and watched me intently. I knew what he was going to ask as his lips parted, so I told him quickly, “I’m fine, Dmitri. Keep going.”
I was folded in half under him, my ankles still on his shoulders. Gradually my body relaxed, and I felt him slide into me just a little deeper. And a little deeper. Suddenly a wave of the most intense pleasure crashed into me as he hit a spot inside me, and I threw my head back and cried out as I let go of the sheets and grabbed Dmitri’s body.
He began fucking me harder now, deeper, his thrusts urgent as he claimed me. He was breathing hard, moaning loudly, and he slid his hand down my cock, detonating my orgasm.
I yelled as I came, wild, animalistic sounds as my cum spurted across my body. And in the next instant Dmitri was crying out, too, thrusting hard as he came right along with me. “Oh God, Jamie, fuck yes,” he ground out as his body convulsed into mine, thrusting into me again and again.
We came down gradually, shaking with intense aftershocks of pleasure, covered in sweat and clinging to each other. Dmitri had collapsed on top of me, his arms around my shoulders, and it was a minute before he could push himself up a few inches, his mouth finding mine. He kissed me tenderly, then reached down between us and slowly eased out of me, holding on to the base of his cock to keep the condom in place. He rolled off me and got rid of the condom, and in an instant had me in his arms again, kissing me.
I wrapped my arms around him and whispered against his lips, “How soon can we do that again?”
He smiled at me, his eyes sparkling. “Does that mean you liked it?”
“God yes. It was amazing.” I reached up and brushed his sweat-dampened hair off his forehead. “Thank you for being so patient with me.”
“Thank you for trusting me.” He kissed me again, and I snuggled into his arms.
I whispered against his shoulder, “I’m yours, Dmitri, but without strings or pressure. I just want you to know that I’m planning to stick around for as long as you want me.”
“What if I want you forever?” he said softly against my hair.
I tilted my head back to look at him. “We don’t have forever, baby. At best, we have ten months. And what I’m trying to tell you is, I’ll stick around right up until the end if you want me to, right up until you get married.”
Some sort of powerful emotion churned in his blue eyes. “And then you’ll walk away from me? You’ll just let me go?”
I broke eye contact, my own emotions threatening to overwhelm me. And I said quietly, “It’ll be the hardest thing I ever do.”
I stopped talking then. I had to. Because if I tried to say anything else, I’d burst into tears and beg him not to get married, and that would be so unfair to him. I knew the score, knew what I’d signed on for. There was no forever here – I didn’t have that option.
Chapter Five
Monday morning I sat in the break room at my station, sipping coffee and staring out the window. I wore my badge on a tag around my neck, and fidgeted with the shield idly.
And I thought back to last night. After we’d had sex, Dmitri spent the rest of the night completely doting on me – cleaning me up, bringing me dinner in bed, waiting on me hand and foot and spoiling me. I ended up falling asleep in his arms just moments into Blade Runner, after insisting I wasn’t too tired to watch it. The memory made me grin, but then I sobered up as I remembered what I was about to do.
In a few minutes, I was going to go into my captain’s office and ask for a leave of absence. I was just waiting for him to get out of a meeting. Part of me wondered if I should just go ahead and quit. Truthfully, I wasn’t cut out to be a cop, and never had been. Being a uniformed patrol officer meant deathly boredom interspersed with sudden, unexpected violence. I basically hated every minute of it.
I’d held out a lot of hope for undercover work, thinking maybe that would be where I excelled. And man, talk about an epic fail. I’d let my own emotions botch up my first assignment from the moment it began. Even if I hadn’t fallen in love with the suspect (and that had to be on page one in the What Not To Do Undercover handbook), I’d screwed up in a million other ways, too. Clearly, working undercover wasn’t going to be the thing that made this job bearable for me.
So maybe it was time I stopped living the life my family wanted for me, and figured out what the hell I wanted.
One of my fellow officers stuck his head in the lounge and said, “Hey Jamie. Halpern’s out of his meeting. Said to tell you he only has ten minutes, so
you better hustle.”
“Thanks, Dave.” I drained my coffee and chucked the cup in the trash on the way out the door.
Captain Michael Halpern was a huge black man with a shaved head and a cut-to-the-chase attitude. He stared me down as I came into his office, and as always, I flinched under his gaze.
I didn’t want to waste his time. So as I walked into his office, I blurted, “I totally fucked up the assignment, Captain. I blew my cover. I’m not cut out for undercover work, and to be honest, I’m really not cut out for police work in general. I’m requesting a leave of absence, and in all likelihood, I’ll probably follow that up with my resignation from the force.” There, I said it. And I braced myself to get my ass chewed off.
“Sit the fuck down, Nolan.” Halpern looked annoyed. “Have you talked to your father about this?”
“What? No, of course not,” I stammered as I sunk onto the uncomfortable chair before his huge desk.
“Why not?”
“Why would I?”
“So he can talk some sense into you before you flush your career down the toilet.” He and my father were old friends, but I was still surprised that he’d bring up my dad.
“With all due respect, sir, I’m an adult. I can make my own decisions.”
“Seems to me you’re making some pretty piss-poor ones at the moment. It would make sense to seek counsel from a decorated senior officer – who just happens to be your father – before doing something drastic.”
I changed the subject, since I was getting really annoyed at the idea that I had to ask my daddy for permission before quitting. “Sir, did you know Dmitri Teplov is gay?”
“Of course I know he’s gay. Everyone knows that. He runs his nightclub like his own personal gay whorehouse.” Halpern stared at me like I was simpleminded, and said, “Is there some reason you’re asking me this?”
“I was just wondering if maybe the reason you selected me for that assignment is because I’m gay, too.”
“You were selected because you’re one of the youngest officers at this station, so you’d have a shot at blending in with the crowd at that nightclub.” He narrowed his piercing dark eyes at me and said, “Why? Did you think we sent you there to get into Teplov’s pants?”
I squirmed uncomfortably and didn’t answer. Instead I said, “I felt kind of blindsided, since his sexual orientation wasn’t in his file.”
“Of course it is! All pertinent data was outlined clearly for you in the written report you were given. Didn’t you read it?”
“Yes sir, I read it. And it didn’t say anything about the fact that he’s gay. Which made me feel kind of like I was being thrown into a shark tank while wearing salmon underpants.”
Despite himself, Halpern’s lip twitched. He wasn’t about to let me see him smile, of course. But I knew him well enough to know what that twitch meant.
He swiveled around in his big chair and pulled open a drawer behind him, then plucked out a file. He tossed it on his desk and folded back the cover, then located a thick sheaf of papers, held together with a binder clip. He held up the papers and said, “You were given a copy of this report on Teplov. You were told to memorize it.”
“Yes sir. And that’s what I did.”
He grabbed his reading glasses and shoved them in place, then flipped through the report. Finally he paused at the second to the last page and said, “If you read it, what was unclear about this part?”
He held out the papers to me, and I took the packet from him and scanned the page he’d indicated. It detailed all that was known about Dmitri’s personal life, including the fact that he was gay, and also included information about several men he’d been romantically involved with. I would have loved to read that part. But for now I glanced up at my captain and said, “I was never given this page, sir.”
“What?”
I flipped through the report and said, “The packet I was given ended on page twenty four. This goes to page twenty seven. No wonder I didn’t know all this stuff about his private life.”
“Someone in clerical fucked up big time. And when I find out who it was, they’re toast.” Halpern tossed his reading glasses aside and pinned me with a sharp gaze. “So, what did you think? That I omitted that information on purpose? That, four months after you came out of the closet, I decided to pimp you out to a gay thug? Is that what you thought?”
“Well, I….” Yes. Exactly. I looked down at my hands.
“For fuck’s sake, Jamie. Do you really think I’d do that to you?”
I felt ashamed now, and still didn’t meet his gaze.
Halpern continued, “I’m sorry you were given an incomplete report. That really is unacceptable, especially for your first undercover assignment. But I’m offended as hell that you’d think I would treat you like that, Nolan.”
“I’m sorry, sir.”
He leaned back in his chair and regarded me for a long moment. And then he said, “Is that why you’re thinking about resigning? Because you thought I was using your sexual orientation to get you close to a suspect?”
“I was pissed off about that, sir, and I apologize for my misassumption. But that’s not why I’m thinking about resigning.”
“Well, why then?”
“Because I kind of have to.”
“Jamie, you’re just green, still. This was your first shot at undercover work, and you’re hardly the first cop in history to botch an assignment. Don’t take it so hard.”
“That’s not really the problem.” I met his gaze and said honestly, “The problem is that I’m falling for a suspected felon.”
Halpern stared at me long and hard. “You wanna clarify that shit?”
I said quietly, “I’m falling in love with Dmitri Teplov. And given the obvious, glaring conflict of interest, I’m respectfully asking for a leave of absence. That is, unless you’re about to fire my ass.”
I thought he was going to yell at me. But instead, Halpern picked up the phone on his desk. He didn’t look at me as he pressed a button and said, “Connect me with Central.”
“Central!” I leapt to my feet and leaned onto his desk. “No! Please don’t call my dad!” I felt like I was ten years old all of a sudden.
He glared at me as he said, “Why not?”
“I want to tell him myself. Please?”
I heard someone pick up on the other end of the line, and Halpern told the receptionist, “Hang on a minute.” He hit the hold button and said, “Sit the fuck down, Jamie.”
“Yes sir.” I sank back onto the chair and folded my hands in my lap.
And he said, “When are you planning to tell him?”
“Soon. I came to you first.”
He stared at me for a long moment, then pushed a button on the phone and said, “I’ll call you back.” He put the handset down before asking me, “Did you know Dmitri Teplov prior to being assigned to this case?”
“No sir.”
“So you met him Friday night for the first time?”
“Yes sir.”
“And you already think you’re in love with him? What the fuck?”
“It just happened, sir.”
Halpern assessed the situation for a long moment. And then he said, “I’m going to give you a number, Jamie. I want you to set up a counseling appointment ASAP.” He started digging through his on-the-verge-of-exploding Rolodex, and then he met my gaze. “And after you call to make the appointment, go see your dad. That’s an order.”
“You’re sending me for counseling? Come on, sir!”
“This isn’t you, Jamie. You’re a good kid. You know better than to get mixed up with the criminal element. I think talking to a counselor will help you get some things sorted out.” Halpern was in full intervention mode now, and I sighed as I stood up.
“I’m not going to counseling, sir.”
“That too, was an order, not a request,” he told me, pushing to his feet and towering over me. Michael Halpern was one of the few men that could make me feel shor
t at six feet tall.
“I’m a little hazy on the rule book here, sir, but I’m pretty sure you can’t order me into counseling for dating someone you don’t like.”
“I’m calling your father.”
“No!”
We had a stare-fight for a long moment, and I blinked first. Halpern was one intimidating son of a bitch.
“Fine,” I relented. “Give me the number.”
He scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to me. And then he said, “So when you leave my office, you’re going straight to Central Station, right?”
“Yes sir. Right after I make that appointment.” And right after pigs fly out of my ass, I added to myself.
