'Yes. I thought she'd be captured. It's what she deserved – '
'You just can't help yourself, can you, Lucrezia?' He spits, turning his back on me. 'You can't help meddling in my affairs. First Aleks, now Eve. When will you learn? When will you stop telling yourself these lies?' He turns back, crouching to my level until his face is inches from mine. 'You weren't protecting me, Lucrezia. You were making my life a misery!'
'That's not what I wanted!' I protest weakly, feeling my limbs give way beneath me. 'I just wanted you to be safe. I just wanted you to rule like you're supposed to! But you kept antagonising father, choosing your friends with such carelessness – '
'That choice should have been mine! Those mistakes should have been mine to make!' He yells, slamming his palm down on the wooden bench beside me.
'You gambled everything for the sake of some stupid girls!'
'They're not stupid girls!' He bellows, so loud it's possible father might've heard it.
'Ryder is as stupid as they come!' I stand to meet him, my anger finally trumping my fear. 'Escaping from the Institute to aid a hopeless human. Joining a Rebellion after mere months as an Immortal – '
'And what was Aleks' crime?' Mal asks suddenly, his eyes boring into me with a callousness I didn't know he possessed. I draw breath quietly, my legs shaking beneath me. 'What was your excuse for having her thrown into the Confine?'
'I didn't – '
'Don't lie to me!' He grabs my arm, squeezing so hard it hurts. 'Don't lie to me now, Lucrezia. I know,' He glares at me, his eyes hard and cold. 'I've known for three years that it was you who made up that rumour. It was you who convinced father that Aleks had to be sent down. Tell me, what noble cause was that in aid of? What did Aleks ever do to deserve that?'
'She wasn't fit for you! You needed someone – '
'Stop lying!' He jerks my arm hard so that I stumble to the side. 'Tell me the truth! Why did you do it? Why did you work so hard to Confine someone who apparently meant nothing to you? Someone who'd done nothing to you?'
'She took you away from me!' The screech leaves my mouth before I've had time to process it. 'She did do something to me! She did something to you! Until her it had been just you and I. You and I against everyone else. Since we were babies I've looked after you, I've brought you up like our mother never could! That was the one thing I thought no one could ever take away from me, and then she did! One bat of her eyelashes and you forgot all about me. You left me behind!'
'I outgrew you and your childish ways!' He lets go of my arm, stepping backwards. 'I outgrew your bitchiness, your arrogance, your hatred for everyone and everything that consumes you!'
'You may have outgrown all that,' I lower my voice, trying to keep ahold on its shakiness. 'And I could have lived with it. But you outgrew me. You left me for her.'
'Lucrezia,' He shakes his head, staring at me as though I'm something alien to him. 'I didn't leave you for anyone. You're my sister. They're two different kinds of relationships. I don't – ' He stops, still staring at me. The heat of his gaze makes me uncomfortable. 'I don't understand how you feel,' He speaks carefully, slowly. 'Do you feel – ' He runs a hand through his hair, something he does when he's stressed or uncomfortable. 'You understand that we're family, don't you?'
'Do you think I'm stupid?'
'Do you feel something else for me?' He cuts me off. 'Something... more?'
'What?' I frown, irritated by my confusion. 'What's more than that? What's more than the bond of twin siblings?'
He glances away, shifting uncomfortably. 'Do you feel for me the way I felt for Aleks?'
'I don't – ' Suddenly it dawns on me. I understand what he's asking. 'Are you insane?!' I shove him halfway across the room, advancing on him even as he bumps into the bed frame. 'Not only do you think I actively tried to usurp the throne, you think I'm – ' I wrinkle my nose, trying to control the anger taking hold of me. 'Disgusting?!'
'You have to see how this looks, Lucrezia. The things you're saying – '
'I love you, Mal,' I interrupt. 'I love you more than anyone because you're my brother. I shared our mother's womb with you, I shared my childhood with you, I shared everything with you! And then you ditched me for the first girl who glanced your way! That's why I got rid of her. And then you – ' I clench my fists, feeling the burn behind my eyes where tears are supposed to be. 'And then I lost you anyway! You turned your back on me. You closed yourself off from me. I could feel you slipping away and I was hanging on by a thread and then Ryder came along – ' I resist the urge to spit on the floor like I'd once seen a homeless man do.
'And she was another threat to you.' Malachy nods, finishing my sentence for me in a calm, collected voice. Something about his sudden tranquillity causes me to stop my tirade. He regards me for a moment, as if seeing me for the first time, and then slumps down on the end of his bed. 'Jesus, Luca,' He shakes his head. 'We may have shared everything for the entirety of our lives, but it looks like we knew nothing about each other.'
'What are you talking about?' I snap, folding my arms across my chest in order to protect myself from any hurt Malachy may try to inflict on me.
'All this time I thought you were trying to seize power for yourself,' He explains. 'I thought that, given half a chance, you'd steal my position quicker than I could blink. I thought you resented my future status. I thought you had an agenda. I thought you truly believed in the way father runs things, agreed with his opinions. But it turns out – ' He pauses and, to my amazement, actually laughs. 'It turns out you were just terrified of losing me.'
'I don't – ' I don't know what to say. I don't understand what the revelation is. What does he mean an agenda? What does he mean agreed with father's opinions?
'And all this time, you thought you were losing me,' He interrupts. 'You did all this, turned into this person,' He gestures to me with an air of dislike. 'In a desperate attempt to keep me close.'
'But it didn't work, did it?' I snap, resentful that he appears to know something I don't. 'Everything I did just seemed to push you further away. No matter how hard I tried to protect you, no matter how much I loved you, you just grew more and more distant from me.'
'Don't you see, Luca?' He glances up at me, a small smile playing on his lips. 'You were pushing me further away. In your psychotic attempts to keep me by your side, you drove a wedge between us. But what you don't seem to understand is that the wedge only existed after what you did to Aleks, not before.'
'I don't know what you mean,' I snap. 'That girl took you away from me. You moved out of our room – '
'I was eighteen, Luca,' He laughs, and his laughter only incenses me further. 'It was time for us to grow into our own people. It was time for us to start leading our own lives. We were safe. You didn't have to protect me any more, or care for me. It wasn't like when we were five – ' He shakes his head, but in his eyes I detect something resembling fondness. 'I thought you understood that,' He smiles. 'And I thought you understood that no matter who came into my life, or left it, that you would always be my sister. Even if I didn't like the person you were growing into, or your behaviour towards other people, you would always be my sister. You're family.' He shrugs, as if he's solved some impossible puzzle.
'But you didn't want to be around me any more.' I'm aware that I'm pouting like a five year old, that I sound pathetic, but I can't seem to help it.
'Well, to tell you the truth, I didn't. I don't know if you're aware, Luca, but you're not a very nice person,' He laughs, that nasal sound I'd almost forgotten. 'And I wasn't either, when I was around you. Aleks showed me that, she showed me I didn't have to be that way. Neither did you. But every time I tried to make you see that, it was as though you became even nastier. So I distanced myself from you, but I never left you.'
'But you – '
'Do you think I've forgotten everything you did for me?' He stands suddenly, and takes my hands in his. It throws me off-balance, as though the world has been tipped upside down. 'Do
you think I've forgotten that you risked your neck for me everyday when we were human so that I could eat? That when that man broke into our house, you told me to run and hide so you could lead him away? Or when that little girl saw me scampering around in my bare feet and called me dirty you almost broke her nose?' He laughs, squeezing my hands tightly. 'It should have been me protecting you. But you took your seniority by ten minutes so seriously.' He laughs properly now, throwing his head back and letting it out as though he hasn't a care in the world. 'You're my big sister, Luca,' He smiles. 'And I love you, too. I always have. Even if I don't particularly like you.'
'I don't understand.' I shake my head, wincing as my tear ducts contract.
'Maybe I'm no better than you are,' Malachy replies quietly. 'I'm just as vindictive when I need to be, but less obvious about it. Maybe that makes me worse. The point is I don't need your protection any more,' He shakes his head slightly. 'I stopped needing it a long time ago. What I needed – ' He hesitates. 'Was your comfort. Your familiarity. I needed you to be my sister, nothing else.'
'I tried – '
'I know,' He nods confidently. 'You tried to protect me in your own twisted, psychotic way,' He smiles. 'But it was the wrong way. You've got things all confused in here,' He taps my forehead gently. 'And I think maybe... maybe it's you who needs my protection now.'
'I don't need your protection.' I snap, dropping my hands. I expect him to step away, resigned, but instead he grips my shoulders.
'I think you do,' He insists. 'Because I don't think you have any idea what's going on out there,' He jerks his head towards the walls, towards the outside and the mountains. 'The Immortal people don't love our family the way they used to. Caruso and Sirus – ' He shakes his head sadly. 'They've got everything wrong.'
'Malachy! Have you gone mad?'
'No,' He replies confidently. 'Father has. And the people are going to show him just how mad he is.'
'You sound like them,' I hiss, backing away from him. 'You sound like the Rebels.'
'You have a choice now, Luca,' He ignores me. 'Now I know your intentions, and you know mine. I'm asking you,' He steps towards me again. 'Are you loyal to me, or to father? I need to know now.'
I hesitate, breathing fast. I have no idea what my brother is asking, and part of me doesn't want to know. This is dangerous, this is deadly, this is a side of him I've never seen before. But if what he says is true, that everything I've done so far in an attempt to keep him close has backfired, then maybe the only way to keep him with me is to embrace who he really is, rather than try to conceal it. 'I'm loyal to you,' I reply, and my voice sounds confident even if I don't feel it. 'You're my family.'
He breathes a long sigh, I think of relief. 'That's good,' He smiles, squeezing my shoulders. 'Maybe we can sort this out. Maybe we can turn around everything that's happened between us.'
This promise is more than I could ever have dared to dream. The chance to be us again. To have Malachy back. It's what I'd do anything for. I just didn't know until now what the right 'anything' was.
'I'm loyal to you, Malachy,' I nod. 'Always.'
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Eve.
The air is crisp and still as we crunch a path towards the Confine. I don't know what I'd been expecting of the Immortal world's most notorious location – I'm not sure I ever really thought about it that much – but a mountain certainly wasn't it. I'd pictured a dank, dark hole beneath the ground, something cavernous, like the Thailand confine. Asil's right, the picturesque beauty of the landscape makes it impossible to believe that something so barbaric exists here.
The front lines begin to slow their pace from a sprint to a slow jog, and those of us behind follow suit. Jasmina, my partner for the storming, sticks close to me as we cross the wide, flat plains towards the rocky mountain base. I try to focus, to keep my thoughts trained on the task ahead, but it's difficult; we know next to nothing about the Confine guards' battle strategies, their formations, or how exactly they will defend. All we can do is follow Vlad's orders and hope for the best.
The mountain base is much wider than I'd anticipated, and shrouded by large grey boulders dusted with thin snow. The boulders will be an obstacle as much as an aid; we can use them to hide behind, but so can the guards. Though the rocks aren’t what unnerves me. They're not what causes me to halt in my tracks for a moment, to suck in a deep, cold breath.
In front of the boulders, no less than half a mile away, is a sea of black. In perfect rectangular formations stand clusters of uniformed Immortals, straight-backed and ready for whatever is coming their way. They look professional and deadly, holding no weapons and so far away that I can't make out their faces, but emitting an unmistakable air of hostility. There are hundreds of them, separated into groups and spaced out around the mountain base – but there are more of us. I try to take some comfort in that fact as I resume my pace, keeping time with the others, our synchronised footsteps pounding on the rocks. 'There they are.' Asil murmurs, handing the case over to one of the Rebels designated to revive. It's her job to protect it now.
Jasmina hones in on my left. 'You ready?' I ask her, trying to keep some of the panic out of my voice.
'Yes,' She grits her teeth, staring straight ahead. 'You?'
'As I'll ever be.' I mutter, turning away from her. Vanessa's group is still in the lead and as we cross the open plain it's as though time speeds up. 150 feet, 100 feet, 50 feet. I watch as Vlad, a couple of rows ahead, glances around, appearing to check that none of us have fled. I can't say I blame him; the sight of those guards makes me want to bolt, but to every Rebels' credit, we stand our ground.
Thirty feet away, I feel the muscles in my shoulders tense with anticipation. I have no idea what the guards' first move will be. Will they charge at us before we can reach them? Will they stand firm and try to hold us off? Close up, I can see their faces; a sea of blank stares looking through us.
Behind me, the groups further back begin to split off, some moving around to the left of the mountain, some to the right, choosing their targeted groups based on some telepathic connection, or perhaps instinct.
20 feet. In front of us, Vanessa and her group break into a sudden run, slowly at first before sprinting at full speed. They aim for the group in the centre of the mountain, between two of the largest boulders, and reach them in seconds. With Jasmina and Asil beside me, I begin to run, focussing on Vanessa as she collides with the first guard. Something about Vanessa's remarkable talent puts my mind at ease. As I watch her tackle the guard, gripping his right arm and twisting it behind his back in a painful lock, alone without a partner, I begin to feel more confident.
With Vlad at our head, we move off to tackle the next group. None of the enemy formations have broken; the guards stand completely stationary, awaiting our attack.
As we charge at our selected group, Vlad lets out a yell that makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Within its depth and vibrations, it's as though he's reminding us once again why we're here. I feel pain, anguish and determination all at once, emanating from his vocal chords. The others follow suit, hollering as one as we crash into the guards. Vlad launches himself at the centre-most one, bowling him to the ground, causing snow and ice to shoot up in the air. Patrick kicks out at the next, landing a blow with his foot in the centre of the guard's chest. I hear the dull thud of his boot hitting bone and watch as Katherine rounds on the guard from behind, leaping onto his back and using her weight to drag him down.
The ferocity of our attack has caused the guards to break rank and they scatter, trying to circle us. All around me I hear the crunch of bodies hitting the ground, the thuds of blows landing on hard muscle. Asil breaks away from us with Jack and together they target the nearest guard, a woman who leaps on them like a tigress.
Jasmina and I stand shoulder to shoulder, knowing it's only a matter of seconds before we find our imminent chosen guard. We spot him at once, sprinting towards us from our left. Jasmina is closest and she ki
cks out one of her strong legs, trying to knock him off balance. Unfortunately, he spots it and leaps over her boot, crashing into my side, and I go down like a sack of potatoes, the weight of the guard heavy on my chest. I didn't realise until now that, although I don't need to breathe, a weight crushing my lungs is just as uncomfortable as it was when I was human. I kick and writhe beneath him but he has my arms pinned. I jerk my head forward, trying to land a hard blow to his nose, but he anticipates and dodges it, staring down at me as though I'm a mere insect – an irritation.
Jasmina leaps onto his back, momentarily adding to the crushing sensation in my lungs before she grabs underneath his chin, yanking his head back. She plants her feet on the floor, and uses her leg muscles to drag the guard off me, his neck bent at a painful-looking angle.
As he's wrenched to his feet he slips on the ice, landing on his back, his head cracking against the rock. Jasmina doesn't waste a second as she flings herself on top of him, winding her racehorse thighs around his. She has his bottom half pinned, but she's struggling with the top. Her weak arm strength is letting her down as the guard manages to free his right arm and lands a cracking blow to her cheek. It knocks her sideways and the guard springs to his feet, giving her a hard kick in the ribs before rounding on me.
The Gray Institute_Rebels' Hell Page 36
