by Kiki Swinson
“It’s a new guy that contacted me. I have to look up his name,” I lied again, thinking quick on my feet. I actually had a lunch date with my best friend, Maria. Maria Hernandez had been my best friend since college and she also happened to be the director of the Drug Enforcement Administration’s Miami field office.
Paul walked up behind me, his dick sticking straight out. He grabbed my bare breasts and rubbed his dick up and down my ass.
“Paul! I said I have to go. Now you can stay and let yourself out, but I have to go!” I screamed, frustrated with his constant bullshit.
“Yoshi, you sure have been acting different lately,” he complained.
I paused for a moment, thinking that there was no better time than now. “Look, Paul. I don’t think we should do this anymore. I am starting to feel funny at work,” I said flatly.
“What are you talkin’ about? No one is looking at you. If they are, it’s because they are jealous,” he replied, grabbing at my robe.
I jerked away from him. “Look, this whole thing isn’t working for me anymore. All this back-and-forth fucking, here at my place or on top of your desk in your office, has gotten old, so it has to stop today. All I want to do is my job and continue making the firm money,” I said forcefully.
Paul’s eyes turned dark and he furrowed his eyebrows. “You don’t wanna fuck me anymore, huh, Yoshi?” he asked, clenching his jaw.
“Paul, don’t get mad. I just think we both should focus—”
“Fuck you, Yoshi. I made you junior partner and it wasn’t because of your damn work, so don’t let your head get too fucking big! Remember who the fuck I am,” he growled, his dick shrinking back down to two inches. He was clearly turned off.
“Paul, don’t take it personal. I just want to do the right thing,” I lied, throwing on a phony smile. I was tired of fucking his whack ass, and to top it off, he did not know how to eat my pussy right. I was totally fed up with coaching him, so it was time to hang up the towel. Not only that, junior partner wasn’t good enough for me, especially when he kept promising to make me senior partner. If Paul thought he was going to keep fucking the shit out of me for that little-ass promotion, then he had another thing coming.
“I hold your career in my hands,” he began, “so don’t ever forget where you came from!” He stormed out of the bathroom and began gathering his things.
“Trust me, I know where I came from, but since you’re on some threatening shit, you need to also remember that I know what type of shit you’re into. So just in case you want to get cute and start slicing away at my benefits around the office, don’t forget I’ve got your wife and your friends at the IRS on speed dial,” I said.
Paul was back in that bathroom like a bat out of hell. “You fucking bitch! Don’t you ever fucking mention my business again. Do you hear me? That shit will get you killed,” he threatened, and then he didn’t say another word. His ego was crushed and I knew it. Get me killed? Yeah, right! What a joke! Paul was a fucking punk trying to act tough, like he was Tony Soprano or somebody. I laughed right in his face and he looked at me like I was crazy.
I knew that after I crushed his fucking world, he was going to leave, and I was right. Immediately after I turned on the shower faucet, stepped into the tub, and turned around to close the shower curtains, he walked out of the bathroom. So I proceeded with my bathing, and when I was done, I turned off the water, slid the curtain back, and stepped down onto the bathroom rug. As I was about to dry myself off with the towel, I realized that it was completely quiet, so I wrapped the towel around me and stepped into my bedroom to see if Paul had left altogether. Sure enough, he was gone. But he left a note and five crisp one-hundred-dollar bills on my nightstand. So I rushed over to my nightstand and picked the note up:
BITCH, YOU WILL ALWAYS BE A WHORE TO ME, SO HERE IS YOUR PAYMENT FOR THE LOUSY FUCK LAST NIGHT.
Reading his note gave me an instant migraine. I couldn’t believe Paul was so ignorant. But then I realized how pompous he was, so I had to laugh at his immaturity.
I heard a vacuum switch on, letting me know that my housekeeper had arrived.
“Ophelia!” I called out.
“Yes, Ms. Lomax,” Ophelia answered, almost instantly standing in my bedroom doorway.
“Here, take this money and go do something nice for yourself,” I said, handing her the five hundred dollars.
Her eyes lit up. “Oh, my God, Ms. Lomax! What is this for? I don’t get paid this week,” she asked, surprised.
“It’s a gift. Now take it and go treat yourself to something really nice,” I said. She took the money from my hand apprehensively, surveyed it, and scurried out of my sight. That was my nice deed for the week. Those were few and far between.
As I began to get dressed, I thought about that stunt Paul had just pulled. I began to laugh all over again. I mean, did he really think I would keep his petty-ass cash? I would rather give that shit to a bum on the street before I kept it. Didn’t Paul know who I was? I had just picked up two big clients, one of which was Killer Dee, the most popular rapper in Miami. He got picked up on a gun charge and had his people call me. Then there was Mr. Dicaprio, the lieutenant captain of the most notorious Sicilian crime family in Florida. Nevertheless, his case would be over in no time because the feds got him charged with some bogus conspiracy shit. That’s what I was all about: big names, rappers, crime bosses, and the Mafia. That’s where the real money was.
After I got dressed, I picked up my BlackBerry to send Maria a text and I noticed that my private file folder was open.
“What the hell is this?” I questioned. My heart began racing. I couldn’t remember if I had left my file open. It was super private. That is where I kept all of my special contacts at the DA’s office, judges, and, more important, records of my exchanges between myself and my clients. I knew it wasn’t wise to keep that kind of stuff on paper, but I always thought it needed to be kept just in case I ever needed to refer to it for my own protection. “I must have left it open,” I whispered to myself. I knew Paul wouldn’t have the balls to go through my BlackBerry, or would he? Those thoughts raced through my mind the entire drive down to meet Maria.
Dealing with Heavy Hitters
I rushed into me and Maria’s favorite spot after grabbing the ticket stub from the valet driver. I had important things to discuss with Maria today, and it would definitely be worth it for her. She was so damn knowledgeable about shit going on in the streets, which was why it was a must I had her on my payroll.
“Hola, mami,” I squealed, as I grabbed Maria for a hug.
“Hola, mi amor. Your Spanish gets worse and worse each year,” Maria joked, smiling and returning my embrace. We hugged for a few minutes and exchanged our customary peck on each cheek. And, as always, we surveyed each other from head to toe to check out what we were both wearing. It was what we had been doing since college, a habit of sorts, but we both knew there was no harm intended.
“I love the new hair.” I complimented Maria’s new bob haircut. Maria was a beautiful caramel-colored Latina. Although she was Mexican, she had the ass and face of Jennifer Lopez. Maria also had a taste for the finer things in life. Every time I saw her, she had on a designer bag. Today she carried the new Chanel Coco Cabas bag and I was loving it. I made a mental note to go cop one right away.
“Sí, it was time for a new look,” Maria replied, flashing her stunning smile. Maria was one of the few people in the world I felt I could trust. She was also thirty-four, stood five feet six inches, and was very sexy. She and I had been friends since our early days in college. Maria—just like me—was never given shit for free. Her parents were first-generation Mexican immigrants and they, too, worked for scraps while trying to give their children a better start.
Maria and I always remained loyal to one another. I had helped her through college—basically, I did all of the school work and she helped me through the rough times in my life. To be more specific, she helped me kick a small cocaine habit I had dev
eloped my first year in school. She sat up with me for two weeks straight while I went cold turkey; and she always reminds me of how that withdrawal almost killed my ass. Since then, we always had each other’s back. Maria always promised me that she would repay me one day for helping her through school. She would’ve never made it through college without me, and that would have meant letting her parents down. I never told Maria, but I felt the exact same way about her. If she hadn’t helped me kick that fucking cocaine habit, I never would’ve made it through college or law school, which would have meant letting my mother down, too.
Maria and I took our seats at our regular table inside the beautiful, upscale Oceanaire Seafood Room on Miami Avenue. We were comfortable at that restaurant. The entire waitstaff knew us, and also knew not to disturb us after we ordered and got our drinks and meals. Maria and I usually had important business to discuss. I was there today to tell her that my assistant, Donna, had informed me that Sheldon Chisholm, one of the most notorious gangsters in the Miami area, had contacted my office looking to retain my services. I had not returned his calls yet because I wanted to get Maria’s opinion first. She and I usually ran things by each other that way. Maria knew the kinds of people I defended, and she also knew the kinds of things I did to get them off. Believe me, she wasn’t an innocent bystander, either. Maria had made her fair share of dirty dollars as well.
“So, what do you know about Sheldon Chisholm?” I asked as I took a sip of my Washington Apple. Maria looked up from her appetizer, surprised.
“Why do you want to know about him?” she asked, although she already knew the answer to her own question.
“Don’t I always tell you not to answer a question with a question?” I joked, chuckling.
Maria laughed, too. She caught on real quick.
“Well, from what I know, Sheldon Chisholm was born in Haiti, dirt poor, came from nothing,” Maria began as we sipped our drinks. “He lost his entire family in a drug deal gone wrong in the early ’80s, and that was the start of his reign of terror. He worked his way up in the mysterious Haitian Mafia, and has since become the number-one heroin supplier in all of West Miami.”
I listened intently. Behind every word Maria said, I heard dollar signs.
“He’s a very flashy Haitian, with a penchant for violence. He is nothing to play with. Not only that, he is a fucking millionaire with very little conscience or patience. He will kill a newborn baby over ten dollars,” Maria informed.
“Do you know anything about his case?” I asked. She looked at me strangely, like she knew I was going to ask, but also like I better have some cash for her if I was asking.
“Yes. It’s being handled by agents in my field office. From what I’ve been told, his driver was pulled over for a traffic violation, and when his license was run, it came back suspended. That gave my people probable cause to search the vehicle, and when the vehicle was searched, my agents found a trunk filled with kilos of one hundred percent uncut heroin. They say it was at least sixty-five million dollars in value. He’s out on bail now.”
“Damn, that’s a lot of drugs.”
“Yes, it was. But I’ve seen more.”
“So, would it be hard to get rid of?”
“You just say the word and it is as good as gone,” she told me, and then smiled.
I smiled back at her because I knew everything was going to work in my favor and we both were going to be a couple of million dollars richer after I made the deal with the Devil, which was Sheldon Chisholm himself. Everybody may be scared of this guy, but I wasn’t, because I knew he needed me. Me and Maria held his fate in our hands, so I knew he wouldn’t try to pull any of the stunts on us like he’d done with other people. That wouldn’t be wise on his part. I hoped he had enough sense to realize that. After I counted all the zeros in my head that I would be receiving from him, I smiled once again at Maria and then held up my glass.
“Let’s make a toast to success!” she said, raising her glass almost simultaneously.
I pressed my glass against hers. “Success!” I added; then my thoughts shifted elsewhere. “Hey, wait. Who is the Assistant U.S. Attorney on the case?”
“Relax, girl. Because of the media implications, Brad Carlton is taking it himself…. No assistant on this one—the U.S. Attorney himself,” Maria said, like she knew the deal.
“Shit, today must be my fucking lucky day. I’m going to play the lotto when I leave here. Maybe I can get richer,” I said, letting out a gut-busting laugh. I was feeling more confident about Sheldon Chisholm’s case already, so I planned to contact him right after lunch. “Well, on a lighter note, I told Paul we couldn’t fuck anymore,” I said, changing the subject.
“What?” Maria asked, raising her eyebrows.
“Yes, and he went crazy,” I replied, telling her about the note and his little threat against my career. We got a good laugh out of it. “Paul is harmless,” I said, trying to convince myself that breaking off our little affair wasn’t going to have a horrible backlash.
After Maria and I ate ourselves to death, I picked up the tab. Before I stood up to leave, I handed her an envelope with twenty thousand in cash in it. “Here’s a little something to get things rolling on Sheldon’s case.”
Maria took the envelope and stuck it in her handbag. “Thank you very much,” she said, and then stood up.
Right before I stepped away from the table, I embraced her and then we said our good-byes. “Call me later,” I said.
“I will,” she assured me; then we parted ways.
I left the restaurant with a lot on my mind, mainly how much money I could potentially get for representing someone like Sheldon Chisholm. I got excited inside. With the connections I had, I was already confident I could get him off, which meant if I could give him a guaranteed acquittal, I could get him to give me any amount I threw at him. I mean, we were talking about his freedom here. And something like that can cost him anywhere from five to ten million. And since I knew he had money to burn, I might just hit him in the head and charge him the latter. He wouldn’t miss it. From what Maria told me about this guy’s organization, they were supplying 35 percent of the Eastern Seaboard, and that little bit of dope the DEA seized from him was just a tear in a bucket for him. So you see, I’ve got a potential gold mine if I play my cards right, and from where I am sitting, I could definitely come off with a royal flush if I keep pulling from the deck. I can’t see it any other way. So let the games begin.
After I left Maria, I was driving down Washington Street, and a call came in on my BlackBerry. I looked down to see who it was, but the screen of my phone read “no caller ID.” I started not to answer it, but then I figured it might be one of my clients trying to call me collect.
“Hello,” I finally said, and sure enough the recorded prison system message came through loud and clear. So I waited to hear the name of the inmate, and when I heard the voice, I immediately accepted the call.
“Miguel Santos, is that you?”
“Yes, mami, it’s me. I’m so glad you answered my call.”
“What’s going on? What do they have you down there for now?”
“They are trying to pin this murder on me.”
“What murder?”
“They’re trying to say I executed this Mexican dude and his family a couple of nights ago.”
“Oh yeah, I heard about that.”
“Yeah, it’s been all over the news, but I didn’t have anything to do with it.”
“Where were you on the night it happened?” I asked.
“I was at home.”
“Was anyone there with you?”
“No.”
“Do you have a bond?”
“No. The magistrate denied it.”
“So, what do you need me to do? Because we can work this thing out a couple of different ways.”
“Don’t worry about getting me a bail hearing. I was thinking more on the lines of you taking my case and working your magic so I can get out of here for go
od.”
“Well, okay, that can be arranged. But, you know, I’m going to need my retainer fee before I make any phone calls or file any motions.”
“How much is your retainer?”
“Come on now, Miguel, do you have to ask?”
“It’s been—what?—four years since I had you as my attorney?”
“Believe me, Miguel, nothing has changed but the gas prices.” I chuckled.
He chuckled a bit himself, but it sounded like it was forced. And then his laughter stopped. “Well, umm, I was wondering if you could do this case for me as a pro bono. You know, since I helped you out and referred a lot of people to you throughout the years.”
“Are you having some kind of financial problem?” I didn’t hesitate to ask. The mere thought of him asking me to take his case for free damn near sent me into cardiac arrest.
“Yes, things are looking bad for me right now. I’ve got a lot of gambling debts floating around out there. But as soon as you get me out of this mess, I can get you the money with no problem,” he insisted.
I paused for a second, because I didn’t want to come off as a self-righteous bitch. But, on the other hand, I realized that there was no need for me to beat around the bush with him. There was no way in hell I would take his case without payment up front. I don’t do that shit for anyone. It doesn’t matter to me how much money you paid me in the past. I can’t live off memories. So, if you don’t have the cash at the door, then we have nothing further to discuss. “Miguel, I am so sorry! I don’t do pro bono cases. But if you tell your judge that you’re financially indigent, then I’m sure he will assign you a court-appointed attorney. I wish you the best!” I told him, and then I politely disconnected the call.
After I laid my phone down in the passenger seat of my car, I replayed the entire conversation in my mind. I mean, how could he get up the nerve to call me with that bullshit? And then, on top of that, tell me he had gambling debts, like that was going to make me feel sorry for his ass! Come on now, give me a fucking break! He’s a fucking loser with a capital L, and I can’t help him. If he knew what was best, he’d lose my damn number really quick.
