“What the fuck is that?” he demanded, rearing up, banging his head on the ceiling.
Nicki couldn’t speak, sheer mortification scorching through her.
He looked from it to her, that nipple protruding like a cherry on a hot fudge sundae, his brow furrowed, until she saw comprehension register. His mouth fell open, then suddenly, horribly, he started to laugh. Nicki didn’t think she could stop herself from crying as she snatched up the breast and shoved it back in place just in time for the door to whip open.
Steve Bonner stood there, his face creased with fury. “What the hell are you doing in here?”
Nicki sat curled against the side of the car, her purse clutched to her chest. Belatedly, she realized she must have looked traumatized. Of course she was, but for reasons she wasn’t interested in sharing with Steve.
But the younger Bonner didn’t wait for an explanation. As soon as Nicki crawled out, he jerked Brandon from the car so fast that the older boy didn’t know what hit him.
“Hey, man, watch it.” Then Brandon laughed some more.
Laughter stopped, however, when Steve banged him up against the side of the Suburban.
“Hey, Steve, I said watch it.” This time the older Bonner wasn’t laughing.
Steve got in his face. “I say make me.”
The two brothers were virtually the same height, but Steve was clearly the stronger of the two from working out with the varsity football team. “Keep your fucking hands off Nicki. She’s a kid.”
“What do you care about her? Hell, you should see what’s in that shirt of hers.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what’s in there. And if you so much as breathe a word of what went on, you’ll answer to me.”
For half a second, Nicki didn’t think Brandon would listen, and she had a fleeting, completely mortifying thought of what her life would be like at Coronado High if the fake boob incident got around.
But then Brandon glanced between her and Steve. With a belligerent shrug, he pushed Steve away. “Like I care.”
Then Brandon sauntered away.
Nicki watched him go. “I am so embarrassed,” she said to Steve.
“My brother can be an ass. You aren’t the first freshman he’s lured out to this car. When I saw he took my mom’s Suburban, I knew what he had in mind.” He looked at her with the same sort of exacting gaze that Max frequently skewered her with.
She looked down at her shoes. “I thought it was a real date. I thought he liked me.”
“My brother doesn’t like anyone. But he liked what he saw in the new you.”
“What did he see?” she had to ask.
He shoved his hands in his pockets and for the first time looked a tad uncomfortable. “The whole stuffed bra thing.”
“You knew!”
“I figured it out.”
“But I had never worn anything but baggy shirts before this.”
Steve smiled. “Even in all those crappy clothes you used to wear, you were cute, but flat. And I doubt any girl can grow that fast.”
She prayed the ground would open up and swallow her. But when the pavement stayed firm and unmoving, she ducked her head and started walking.
“Hey, where are you going?” he called after her.
“Home.”
With a few bold strides he caught up to her. “You’re going to walk?”
God, she hadn’t thought. She was miles from Pat’s apartment, and she sure couldn’t call and ask for a ride.
They heard the front door of the house open up, and the sound of hard rock filtered out to them.
“Steve! Where are you?”
Nicki didn’t think it possible to feel any worse but was proven wrong when she caught sight of Natalie Vincenze coming their way. Sensing her distress, Steve called out, “Wait for me inside, Nat. I’ll be there in a sec.”
Natalie huffed, but returned to the house.
“You can’t walk home, Nicki.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll . . . call my sister. You go ahead.”
“I’m not leaving you out here alone. Here, use my cell, then wait on the porch.”
Nicki panicked, not knowing whom to call. Then it hit her. She dialed Vivi’s cell phone number, and the minute Vivi answered Nicki started talking.
“Hey, it’s me, Nicki. I’m at a friend’s house—”
Nicki smiled at Steve while Vivi screeched and guessed that she had gone on the date after all.
“I really appreciate your coming to pick me up,” Nicki said as if nothing was wrong. She gave the address. Signed off. Then promised Steve that she wouldn’t leave the lighted front porch until her ride got there.
Just when she thought Steve would leave, he said, “I’ll make sure Brandon doesn’t talk.” Then he smiled at her, a really great smile. “We all do stupid stuff sometimes, Nick. Don’t worry about it.”
For a second she almost thought he was going to stay outside with her. But then he shrugged. “I better go find Natalie.”
A surprising jab of disappointment raced through her, and for the first time she realized how cute he was. Cute and nice, and he didn’t care if she was stacked or not.
He left her on the porch, and with every second that ticked by, her stomach churned. She felt embarrassed and a kind of weird sad, and mad. Really mad at the realization of what she had done. She had gone off the deep end to try to win some moronic boy.
She couldn’t believe she had chased after Brandon. But having a boyfriend, being a part of something besides a family that was so big that hardly anyone noticed her, had been wonderful. But none of that had been true.
Suddenly it seemed like it was all Vivi’s fault. Vivi and her stupid clothes, and Vivi who was like a stupid Barbie doll that men ogled. And when the rattletrap Olds pulled up, Nicki leaped in, slamming the door hard.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” she stated bluntly. “You are so not my mom, so this is none of your business.”
But Nicki forgot all about questions or sneaking out when she remembered she was wearing Vivi’s clothes.
Vivi stared at her long and hard across the darkened car, though Nicki couldn’t tell if Vivi was mad or what. Feeling awkward and hating life so bad that she wanted to hit something or cry, Nicki slumped down in the seat. Suddenly the whole night got to her. Brandon and his hands everywhere. That fake breast flopping on the seat. In that second she felt overwhelmed and she hated everything and everyone. Most of all she hated Vivienne Stansfield.
“What?” Nicki demanded. “So I wore your clothes. It’s not like I ruined them or anything. And it’s not like you have anything really good left anymore. I mean, really, what did you do with everything? Sell stuff to pay your bills?” she scoffed, this strange fury riddling her. Crossing her arms, she sat back with an angry huff.
Vivi turned and looked out the window, staring out into the dark night. They sat there for a second. Then without a word Vivi put the car in gear and drove, gripping the steering wheel real tight, the streetlights lighting the way like a line of birthday candles in the dark.
Finally, when they rolled over the train tracks at Country Club Road and then headed up Mesa, Nicki couldn’t take it any more.
“So yell or something.”
Vivi’s grip got tighter, but she didn’t yell. “Nicki, tell me you didn’t buy breast enhancers.”
“What if I did?” Nicki sank lower, as if she could make her chest disappear.
Vivi pulled in a deep breath, then sighed. “You wanted that boy to ask you out so badly that you’d resort to stuffing your bra?”
Nicki jerked up in her seat. “Oh, I’m not pretty enough for a guy like him, is that what you’re saying?”
“This has nothing to do with pretty. You’re fourteen. Seniors don’t go out with freshmen unless they want something.”
“What would you know?” she shot back as they pulled into Pat’s parking lot. “I bet no guy has asked you out for any other reason besides wanting sex.”
&
nbsp; Vivi looked a little like she’d been punched, but Nicki was too frustrated and sad and mad to care.
“You’re right,” Vivi said. “Guys don’t take me out because of my mind, I admit that. They ask me out because they think I’m rich, or because they think I make good arm candy. Plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with the real me. But the reason men take me out or don’t take me out has nothing to do with you. You, Nicki Landry, are wonderful and sweet and beautiful all on your own.”
Nicki sucked in a breath.
“And I won’t let you use harsh words to push me away just because you’re scared and lashing out.”
Nicki leaped from the car.
“Hey, Nicki?”
Nicki hesitated, though she told herself not to.
“You’re a terrific kid. And there are plenty of guys out there who will think you’re the greatest. I promise.”
Nicki’s throat tightened. She didn’t want this. She didn’t need this, not from a Barbie doll nanny. But still her eyes burned.
Before she could embarrass herself and cry, she banged the car door shut, then raced toward the apartment, aware the entire time that Vivi didn’t leave until she had crawled back through the window.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Vivi paced the empty house on University. She had come back after returning Nicki to Pat’s apartment, determined to finish up the last few details before morning. The winter moon was high and one single naked bulb burned, casting the room in faint silver and gold. She felt caged and confined. Nicki’s hatred still stung.
But that wasn’t what mattered. Only Nicki mattered, and how Vivi should handle the situation. Should she tell Max about his sister’s clandestine activities? Or should she first give the girl a chance to tell Max herself?
And didn’t all kids sneak out at one time or another? If she told Max, would he be too hard on the teenager?
Could she find a way to deal with Nicki, find a means of both showing the teen she was loved and bridging the gap between brother and sister?
He had made strides in opening up with the girls, but would this event, which Vivi felt certain Nicki had learned from, undo the progress they had made?
Vivi made a noise deep in her chest, trying to decide.
Like a girl plucking petals off a flower, she went back and forth. Tell him, don’t tell him.
But the question got more immediate a few seconds later when Max himself pulled up to the little house.
All too soon she was faced with decisions, and as much as she didn’t want to admit it, she knew this was about more than Nicki sneaking out. It was about this precarious world Vivi had been trying to build for herself. She had been trying to live a regular life and shed her old facade completely.
But was it ever truly possible to erase who she had always been? Had she been kidding herself these last few weeks with the new, improved Vivi?
She didn’t have answers, about Nicki or herself. But she couldn’t put off facing Max.
Standing as still and as calm as she could manage, Vivi stared at the door. He didn’t knock. He simply pushed inside, stopping at the sight of her.
He stood there for a second before a smile pulled at his lips. “Hello, honey,” he said, his blue eyes glittering with pleasure. “I’m home.”
For half a second a sense of fluttering relief washed through her, and she wanted to laugh. But she pushed the feeling away. “Funny,” she stated.
Closing the door behind him, he tossed his keys on the windowsill. “What? No cartwheels that I’m here? Not even a kiss hello?”
“Sorry, hello.” Though she didn’t dare kiss him. “I was just leaving.” Did she really have to face him now? Why not wait until morning, when she could look at everything with a clear eye?
She reached for her purse and keys, but Max stopped her. His smile evaporated in the dimly lit room, and she felt a surge of concern.
“What do you keep running from, Vivienne?”
He looked as serious as she had ever seen him.
“I knew I’d find you here, and we need to talk,” he said.
“Talk?” She grimaced. “What about?”
“You’ve been avoiding me.”
Ah, that. Yet another topic Vivi didn’t want to discuss. She wasn’t interested in admitting that things had changed between them, had become more intense.
She had always been deeply attracted to him. But the night he gave her a bath, she had let down her guard. Since then, whenever she closed her eyes, it was as if she was an outsider looking on, watching as the washcloth slid down her spine. And every minute of it had been simply to care for her, all to rinse the dirt and the aches and the pain away. He had wanted nothing more than to cherish her.
Now every time she saw him she felt awkward. She could deal with the whole no-strings-attached sex thing. But the idea of touching and caring left her off balance.
“I have not been avoiding you,” she lied, her scoff echoing against the empty walls. “Now that I’m a working woman and all, I’m busy.”
His expression slowly turned heated, his blue eyes intense. “I’ve missed you,” he said, his voice rumbling through the room as he took a step closer.
Her heart lurched, but she ruthlessly squelched it. “Missed me? You can’t miss me. I’m . . . I’m the nanny, remember? You don’t miss the nanny.”
“Why not?”
“Because.” Panic started to rise. “Besides, I have more important things on my mind.”
Max’s gaze bored into her. “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll fix it.”
Her mouth fell open. “Haven’t you understood anything about what I am trying to do in my life? I’m the one who is going to fix it. Remember?”
He didn’t look all that contrite. Instead he looked extra arrogant and really, really sexy, before he began taking in what she’d done to the house.
“It certainly doesn’t look like your problem is here. You’ve made an amazing change in the place.” He nodded. “My hat goes off to you. I hope Andy paid you well.”
That got a reluctant smile out of her. “Yeah, he did. With a bonus too.”
Max raised a brow. “Really? Andy is as tightfisted with money as anyone I know. You must have impressed him.”
At the time she had thought so. But now she wasn’t so sure. All she had done was her job. Had he given her a bonus because of the work she had done, or because she was Vivi Stansfield—with or without money attached to her name?
It was ridiculous—she knew it. But it was hard to trust in anything just then. Herself or what she believed others thought of her.
After her run-in with Nicki, thoughts and doubts and questions ran through her head, all of which she didn’t know how to answer. Was she being silly or was she being realistic?
Max surprised her when he came up behind her and pulled her close. Like she had no will of her own, her eyes closed at the feel of his fingers on her body. As always when he touched her, she felt the sharp edges of worry and panic fade from her mind.
When he turned her around to face him, taking her fingers, tracing the delicate fan of bones in the back of her hand, she told herself to push away. But how could it be so wrong to let herself forget for just a while? She’d been working hard, relentlessly making everything pull together. She had dealt with Max’s house, cleaned up this place, gotten the girls everywhere they needed to be. And in that second, she wanted to savor what she had believed was a true success. She wanted to erase any doubts that had surfaced.
“You’re cold,” he whispered.
She was, and when he pulled her inside the warmth of his shearling jacket, she went willingly, Nicki and caring and practical thoughts melting like ice against sun and stones.
The coat nearly swallowed her as she molded her body to his. She could feel his heart, feel its reassuring beat. He kissed the top of her head, his hands running down her spine to her hips. Her fingers curled into his shirt-front when he cupped her, lifting her up to her toes. And he kissed her.
Long and leisurely, as if they had all the time in the world.
“You like that, don’t you?” he stated with the confidence of a man who knew how to pleasure a woman.
“I hate it,” she responded, leaning closer.
Max chuckled, lifting her with ease, curling her legs around his waist. “I know you do,” he whispered.
Then his mouth captured hers, a kiss that quickly turned into a demand.
He took the few steps to the wall, pressing her against it as their lips slanted together. They held on tight, clutching each other, touching and tasting.
“I’ve been dreaming of this,” he groaned against her. “Night after night.”
The words became a ragged oath as his lips skimmed down to her neck. He nipped her skin, sucking until he let her down to stand on her own feet. The minute he stepped away she felt cold, though not for long. He ripped off his coat and laid it on the floor. In seconds, he guided her down onto the thick shearling and leather, before his powerful body came over hers, his expression austere, intense. Commanding.
“I want to make love to you,” he said.
A shiver of anticipation ran through her and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She relished the feel of his lips on her, his hand coming to her breast.
His thumb grazed her nipple, bringing it to a tight bud beneath the sweater. “And you want to make love to me,” he added with a primal arrogance.
Her mind soared and she felt yearning pulse through her. She also felt power mix with anticipation, and she looked him boldly in the eye.
“I take it we’re moving on to Lesson Three?” she said with a crooked smile.
But she didn’t get a smile in response. His beautifully etched face darkened, his gaze growing intense.
“No, Vivienne. No more lessons. This is real.”
Her heart slammed against her chest. “Come on, Max, don’t be so serious.”
But that only made his expression darken even more, his large hands brushing her hair from her face.
The Wedding Diaries Page 24
