Promise of Shadows

by Ireland, Justina

  I nod and push aside my worry. One thing at a time. I need to make sure we have a place to hide so the gods can’t find us. Then I need to figure out how to find Whisper’s missing shade. She has to be my first priority once I’m safe. She always took care of me, and now I need to return the favor. Everything else can wait.

  “Zephyr! Cass! Hey, where are you guys?” Blue yells, his shout causing the cows to meander away from us.

  “Over here!” I answer. I hold out a hand to Cass, and she helps me climb to my feet.

  Now that I’m standing, I can see Blue splashing in the pond a little ways away. Tallon is nowhere to be seen. But then he surfaces, pushing his long dark hair out of his face. I blink, because I can’t really believe what I’m seeing.

  Is Tallon really smiling?

  His entire face transforms. He was handsome before, even scowling. But now, with his full lips twisted into a smile and the barest hint of dimples . . .

  He’s absolutely gorgeous.

  Even as a kid Tallon wasn’t a big smiler. He always seemed to have very grown-up things on his mind, something Whisper and I always teased him about. But no matter how serious things were, I could always get him to laugh. I considered it one of my special talents. Getting to see him like this again, happy and carefree and completely unguarded, it unlocks something in me. I want to see more of this Tallon.

  I stop and just watch him. He jumps on Blue and ducks him under the water. Tallon’s shirt is off, and I get a glimpse of a black shoulder tattoo and biceps before he goes back under the water. I’ve never seen muscles like that on a guy in real life. Just on TV. To be honest, I haven’t been around many guys, period. There weren’t any men in the Aerie, only the occasional visitors, and they were always escorted by one of the high-ranking officers. I’ve definitely never seen anyone as unbelievably beautiful as Tallon.

  I push my hand against my stomach. There’s a fluttering hunger there that I’m sure has nothing to do with food. My mouth is dry, and I can’t seem to tear my eyes away from Tallon. Last time I saw him, he was just a boy, but he’s not anymore. He’s different, and so am I. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him. Would it be like the TV shows, where girls seem to be struck stupid by kissing the guy they like? Would it make me feel alive, like soaring over the treetops?

  Would it make me feel brave?

  Cass lays a hand on my shoulder. “Zephyr, are you okay?”

  I jump, and force a smile. “Um, yeah. Just daydreaming.”

  She follows the direction of my stare and sighs. “Be careful what you dream about. Some things are more dangerous than they seem.”

  I look over at Tallon and frown. “What do you mean?”

  “How much do you know about him?”

  “Who, Tallon?”

  Cass’s gaze meets mine. “Yes.”

  I force a laugh. A tendril of guilt creeps through me, because not too long ago I was wondering if Tallon and Blue could be assassins. Obviously I was wrong to suspect them, so hearing Cass echo my earlier thoughts is not comforting. “Cass, I’ve known Tallon since I was a kid. Gods, we aren’t going to go through this again, are we?”

  “What kind of vættir is Tallon, then? I’ve never heard of a vættir that can cross the realms.”

  Neither have I, but I’m not about to let Cass’s suspicions cloud my mind or dampen my good mood. “I don’t know, and I don’t care. Can you please just drop it?”

  Cass doesn’t answer me at first, just turns and watches the boys. “I think maybe you should be a little more cautious. People can change, Zeph.”

  I sigh. “I feel like I’ve gotten this lecture before,” I mutter.

  Cass turns back to me. “What?”

  “Nothing.”

  Blue waves at us before Tallon pushes him under. He surfaces, laughing and sputtering. “What are you waiting for? You know you smell as bad as we do.”

  Blue’s right. Our clothes carry the stink of the Styx, not to mention the accumulated sweat of our headlong flight through Tartarus. Cass’s toga is dirt streaked and grimy, and I’m sure my purple basilisk-leather clothes from the Pits don’t look much better.

  I nudge Cass. “Let’s go swimming. We can argue about this later.”

  She looks at the pond, then at me. “Do you think it’s deep?” she asks.

  “Only one way to find out.” I plop down on the grass and unstrap my boots. They’re the only remnant I have left of my life before I landed in Tartarus.

  The thought makes me sad, but I push it aside by remembering that Nanda sent Tallon to the Underworld to find me. Whisper is gone, but there’s still someone who cares about me. Even though it’s been years since I saw her, Nanda didn’t forget about me.

  The boys have swum out to the middle of the pond, and Blue waves at us. Tallon just watches us with dark, serious eyes, his smile once again hidden. “Come on in; the water’s fine!” Blue calls.

  I stand and stretch, then run past Cass and into the water. It’s warm out, either late spring or early summer. The sun beats down on me as I splash through the shallows, breathing in the clean, fresh air of the pasture. Even the smell of the far-off cows isn’t enough to dim my good mood. I probably smell worse than they do.

  The water where I stand is chest deep, but Cass has only waded in as far as her knees. “Come on, Cass!” I say, splashing water at her.

  She frowns. “I can’t swim.”

  “You should still be able to touch right here.”

  Without answering she walks farther into the water.

  The water is cool, but not cold. The bottom is slimy, and I’m anxious to get out far enough that I can swim rather than squish through mud. The pond is on the large side, but the bottom quickly slopes downward. About twenty feet from the shore I’m treading water, and I turn around and wave at Cass.

  “I can’t touch here, just so you know.”

  She nods, and I leave her to her own devices.

  I swim out quickly to the middle, where the boys paddle in a circle. I duck under, diving until I can touch the bottom before flipping over and heading back toward the surface. The pond isn’t the cleanest in the world, but it’s better than anything in the Underworld. The water washes away the last traces of hell, and when I surface, it feels like I’m finally getting a second chance.

  “What are you doing in my pond?”

  I clear the water out of my eyes. A couple of feet away from me a water sprite stands on the surface of the pond, her transparent arms crossed and her foot tapping. She’s made entirely of water, and her hair moves down her body like a waterfall. I tread water and do a few kicks backward, trying to get closer to the shore.

  One the other side of her the boys stop swimming and tread water. “Whoa,” Blue says. The sprite doesn’t seem concerned with the boys, just me.

  I offer a friendly smile. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to get clean.”

  The sprite stamps her foot, which causes water to splash in all directions. “It’s bad enough those stupid cows wade in when it gets too hot, but at least they don’t know any better. Don’t you know better than to go jumping into other vættir’s ponds?”

  “Yes. Look, I’m really sorry. I’ll just swim back to shore—”

  “Oh you will, will you? What makes you think I’ll just let you leave?” Her words are filled with menace, and it strikes me that maybe she’s just spoiling for a bit of a fight. She can’t get much company out here in the middle of a cow pasture, and sometimes a decent brawl is just as satisfying as a nice long chat with friends.

  But I’m not about to fight a water sprite, especially in her domain.

  Blue swims over to me. “Hey, Lyss, we’re really sorry. We just got back from the Underworld, and we didn’t think to introduce you to Zephyr.”

  The sprite says nothing, just gestures in our direction. Blue is lifted up by a wave and deposited back next to Tallon.

  “My quarrel isn’t with you, Blue. The girly knows the rules. She has trespassed, and now I deman
d a tribute.”

  I paddle backward a little more, hoping that I can maybe get to shore. “A tribute? Look, I don’t have anything to give you. I said I was sorry.” I turn around and begin paddling for shore, once again running away from battle.

  Before I can get very far, I’m pulled under, water going up my nose and in my mouth. I close my eyes and kick at the hand wrapped around my ankle. I make contact before the sprite can phase back to water, and she lets me go. I break the surface, coughing and choking.

  “That’s enough, Lyss. Leave her alone,” Tallon yells.

  Cass still stands exactly where she was before I went under. I have to warn her. She doesn’t know how to swim, and for all her badassery she wouldn’t stand a chance against a water sprite. I yell to get her attention. “Cass, you have to get out! There’s a—” My words are cut off by Lyss dragging me back under. She lets go before I have a chance to kick at her again, and I’m just about to break the surface when I’m dragged back under. Water is in my nose and mouth, and my lungs scream for air. I can’t make contact with the sprite. She phases from her water form to her physical form and back too quickly. If this keeps up, she’s going to drown me, and my first day back in the Mortal Realm will be a spectacular failure.

  Fear and rage settle deep into my middle. They cut through me, and I sense my darkness rising up, answering the call of my panic. It’s just like the night I killed Ramun Mar, but this time the darkness is different. It feels like a living thing, an old friend who has just been waiting for the chance to help. Without even calling it, my darkness rises. It shrouds me in reassurance. I welcome the confidence it brings. It feels like I can do anything with the darkness at my side.

  The attack ceases. I break the surface, coughing and heaving. The erebos surrounds me like a mantle, buoying me up until I stand on the surface of the water. It’s stronger than the last time I called it, over a year ago. But it feels so right, even more so than the night it killed Ramun Mar for me.

  The darkness knows what I want, and it’s happy to obey.

  The sprite is a few feet away, standing on the water as well. She phases from water to flesh, and her eyes are wide.

  “I’m sorry,” she says. “I—I was just playing. It’s not a big deal. Really. I’m sorry.”

  I barely register her apology. Instead I’m drinking in her fear. The sour scent makes me feel strong, and it would be so easy to give her a taste of pain, to let her know what it’s truly like to be afraid.

  The darkness agrees with me. It asks me to release it, as loud as a roar and as quiet as a whisper. I remember what my sister said long ago: You must control the darkness. You can’t ever give in to it. But the shadows want to make me happy, and I deserve a little happiness.

  A few creeping tendrils of darkness race across the water and wrap around Lyss’s arms, the greater mass of shadows still swirling around my feet. The sprite’s stammering speech is abruptly halted. The sharp, soured musk of the sprite’s fear comes to me across the water, followed quickly by the stagnant-water scent of her resignation. She knows as well as I do that I would have no problem ending her life.

  That knowledge scares me, but the emotion is so far away, so detached, that I don’t even bother examining it.

  “Let her go, Zephyr.”

  I slowly turn toward the voice. Tallon treads water near my feet, his dark eyes watching me intently.

  “Why should I?”

  “Because she’s done nothing wrong. There’s no need to punish her.”

  “She started it.” I turn back to the sprite, who is now crying, sobs shaking her shoulders. Her fear has coalesced into desperation, a rotten-fruit scent that belongs in a garbage dump, not a pond in the middle of nowhere.

  “You’re better than this, Peep.” Tallon’s voice is low. He reaches through the darkness and grabs my ankle in a gentle grip. The physical contact combined with the childhood nickname is enough to break through the haze of rage. I look down at him, and I suddenly feel very guilty.

  I’m acting like a spoiled brat.

  I ask the darkness to release the sprite. It responds immediately, the inkiness that radiates out from my feet retracting and wrapping back around me. I breathe deeply and wait for the cold rage to fade, and as it does, I’m lowered back into the water.

  The sprite falls into the water as well, and I turn toward her. “I’m sorry,” I say. She watches me with tear-bright metallic-green eyes.

  “You’re real. I always thought you were just a myth, something to make us feel better.” She sniffles and swipes at her tears. “I can’t believe you’re real.”

  I have no idea what the sprite’s talking about. Exhaustion weighs on my shoulders, and I take a deep breath, trying to clear away the last of the darkness that clings to me. I can feel it in my belly, restless for release. It’s stronger than ever, and I wonder if Hades’s punishment in the Underworld has broken me somehow. Did the wave of erebos he sent at me break the dam I spent so many years trying to build? How do I get my shadows under control again? Right now it feels like a living thing, a caged tiger pacing inside of me. How do I keep myself from using it, when it’s so easy?

  I swim back to the shore, past a silent Tallon. I climb out of the water past Cass, who follows me with a bland expression. Fear hurries my steps. My secret is out, and now I am a walking target. But worse than the fear is the shame that heats my cheeks. It makes me feel dirty and ashamed, using the erebos. It just isn’t natural.

  I am a monster.

  Cass walks alongside me, her step light. “You wanted to kill her.” There’s no judgment in her voice.

  I nod. I swallow hard to try to force down the sudden lump in my throat. “I don’t understand it. I worked so hard to control the shadows, to keep them buried. What’s happening to me?”

  “Nothing. It’s who you are, Zeph.”

  “And who am I?” I ask, my voice rising.

  Cass looks over her shoulder to where the boys are. They tread water and talk to the sprite. They aren’t even paying attention to us. “Let’s find a spot where we won’t be overheard.”

  We walk to where my boots lie in the grass, and I pull them on my still-wet feet. Then we make our way to where the cows have gathered under a leafy oak. I tread carefully so that I won’t step on the surprises nestled in the grass. I look over my shoulder at Cass. I’m shocked to see that she’s actually floating a few inches above the ground.

  “How are you doing that?” I ask, pointing at her feet. She looks down and shrugs.

  “It’s easy, just using a little æther to levitate. You could probably do it as well.”

  I shake my head. “I’m not so hot with æther.”

  Cass nods and sighs. “That’s to be expected, I suppose. The Nyx is supposed to be of the dark. You could probably use the erebos to levitate though. You kind of just did.”

  My heartbeat echoes in my ears. “Wait, back up. What did you just say? The Nyx? You’re joking, right?”

  Cass shakes her head. “Back in the old days there were two classes of vættir, the bright and the shadow. The dark gods are just as guilty of taking human lovers as the bright, and the offspring were shadow vættir. They were the same as the bright vættir, only their powers were tied to erebos instead of æther. The Nyx was just supposed to be a particularly strong shadow vættir, a god or goddess constrained to flesh.”

  I wave my hand in irritation. “I’ve heard of shadow vættir. I thought they were all gone. You know, extinct.”

  Cass shakes her head. “As far as I know there are still shadow vættir in the Mortal Realm.”

  “But why would you think I was the Nyx if there are all kinds of these shadow vættir running around?”

  Cass sighs. “There aren’t as many shadow vættir around as in the old days. And when you killed Ramun Mar you fulfilled the first part of the prophecy promising the Nyx’s return. How many vættir can destroy an Æthereal?”

  I shift nervously from foot to foot. Prophecies are no small thing
to the vættir, but this can’t be true. Cass must be delusional from crossing back into the Mortal Realm, because this noise about me being the Nyx is crazy talk.

  I try to change the subject. “So what happened to all of these shadow vættir who can use the erebos?”

  “The Acolytes have been quietly killing us off for the past thousand years.” Both Cass and I startle as Tallon walks up, Blue trailing behind. Tallon’s words remind me of the day Whisper found out I could use the erebos. “They’ll kill you if they knew,” she said. I’d thought she was exaggerating. Maybe she wasn’t.

  Tallon doesn’t look at me, and the small slight cuts me deeper than it should. Instead he’s focused on Cass. “Do you really think she’s the Nyx?”

  Cass moves between us. Flames flare up in her hands, and she crouches into a defensive stance. “I do. What’s your concern with her?”

  An answering fire flares up around Tallon, and a couple of oddly curved short swords appear in his hands. His scowl is back, his expression stern. I barely recognize him. Maybe Cass was right. What if after all this time I don’t know him anymore?

  “The vættir have been waiting for her return for centuries. I know who you are, Pellacis. There’s no way I’m going to let you betray the dark champion again.”

  “What makes you think I betrayed him the first time?” Cass says, the flames climbing up her arms and flaring brightly. I take a step back to avoid the heat. “I’ve spent the past few thousand years waiting for the Nyx to return. I never betrayed Elias. I loved him.”

  “ ‘She shall return to you in the darkest of the dark, her presence an ever-present spark,’ ” Blue says, reciting something. His words cut through both Tallon’s and Cass’s aggression, and their fires gutter out. Tallon still has his swords, though.

  Blue points to me. “Your eyes seemed to glow when we were walking through Tartarus, you know. The silver really stands out.”

  “Yes,” Cass says. She looks back at me over her shoulder. “It was the first thing I noticed about her when she arrived in the Pits.” She turns back to Tallon. “That’s one of the reasons I believe she’s the true Nyx.”