by Ramesh Iyer
Chapter Four
As they all gathered around Salim, whispering and speculating on what would happen next, Salim cleared his throat, appalled at their lack of action.
“Will somebody call the emergency department of Leelatai hospital please.” He said tersely, irritated by all the commotion. “Can someone call them now and find out if there is an orthopedic doctor on duty.”
“Good idea Salim,” said Mr. Khan, springing to action and trying to find the yellow pages, while Salim rolled his eyes at how something so obvious hadn’t been thought of.
“Oh no Mr. Khan!” Everyone turned around to see Nikhil shaking his head frantically; he took the yellow pages from Mr. Khan’s hands. “You really don’t want to call that hospital, my God.” He shuddered; Mrs. Khan stands up, tired from kneeling by Salim’s side.
“Why not Nikhil? What’s wrong with the Leelatai hospital?” Everyone echo’s her concern.
“Well,” said Nikhil, taking a deep breath, and launching into his story.
“My cousin had a fracture in his right leg and we took him straight to the emergency room at the Leelatai hospital and you won’t believe what happened?” “What?” Cried everyone, Salim was getting very frustrated and willed Nikhil to hurry up and get on with his story.
“Well,” began Nikhil again. “We got there and an hour later, he was seen by a nurse and she barely looked at his leg, all she did was make him sign about fifteen forms.”
“No!” Said Shaheen’s mother. “How can they do that? You mean the doctor didn’t see him?”
“No! Not even the doctor.” Replied Nikhil
“And then what happened?” Intercepted the injured Salim, his pain getting more intense and his stomach churning.
“So then, by the time he had finished signing all these form – the red tape in that hospital is ridiculous – the doctor on duty had signed off, so we had to wait for the handover and the next doctor to start, so that was another hour wasted.”
“And then what happened?” Said Mr. Khan, becoming impatient and losing trust in the Leelatai hospital.
“He was eventually seen and they examined his leg and said that he needed an x-ray, so off we went to the x-ray department and can you believe there was a long queue at two in the morning!
“We waited another hour and eventually his leg was x-rayed but the radiographer put L instead of R on the report, and of course, we didn’t see the report because no one was willing to show us. Anyway, the report was sent straight to the doctor and after he read it he told us to wait in the next room, where the nurse would put the plaster cast on.”
Nikhil surveyed the crowd; they were hooked on his every word and couldn’t wait to hear the rest of his tale. With relish, he continued.
“So we waited for the nurse in the next room, she eventually came in, read the report and you won’t believe what she did?”
“What?” They all cried, even Salim was on the edge of the sofa, momentarily forgetting his pain.
“She started to plaster his left leg!”
“No!” They all shouted.
“Yes.” Insisted Nikhil. “My cousin protested and told her that it was his right leg that was injured, but she wouldn’t listen, she said the report said that it was his left leg that was fractured, so she would only plaster his left leg and she carried on plastering the wrong leg! My cousin got very upset and tried to get away from her, so you won’t believe what she did next?”
The crowd was wide eyed with suspense.
“She called two of her assistants, and they held him down, whilst she finished plastering his left leg! I tried to tell them but they were very rude and told me to go and wait outside. So what could I do? I waited outside, until they wheeled him out in a wheelchair, with the wrong leg in plaster.”
The crowd shook their head and tutted in disbelief. “My goodness!” Said one of the aunties, “So what did your poor cousin do then?”
Nikhil shrugged. “He had to go to another doctor, first they had to remove the plaster and they x-rayed both legs to see which one was fractured, as they thought my cousin was mad and wasting their time, but can you blame them? What kind of hospital would do that?” Everyone muttered in agreement.
“And now, thankfully, his right leg is in plaster, but he has developed a phobia of nurses.”
Mrs. Khan turned to her husband, “Let’s just find another hospital, we can’t go to the Leelatai after hearing all this.” He nodded in agreement as Shaheen came forward.
“We really can’t go to the Leelatai,” she cried. “No one who is anyone goes there, not one Bollywood star, not one actor, not even the Z list celebrities go there. Forget it, we will take Salim somewhere else.” She said with determination.
“Aha, so sweet. Shaheen cares so much for our son, doesn’t she.” Mr. Khan said rhetorically, looking adoringly at his caring daughter in law. As the crowd agreed with Mr. Khan, and praised Shaheen, whilst she preened with all the attention, one of Salim’s aunty pushed past all the guests and made a beeline for Salim. “Salim, what about Dr. Mansoor’s practice, it is just around the corner. You remember him don’t you?” She looked at Salim inquiringly and when met with a blank look, she went on to explain.
“Don’t you remember, you met him at your uncle’s, sister’s, brother in law’s wedding seventeen years ago. You must have been hmmm.” She stopped to do the math. “Around eight years old back then. You should really consult him, he would feel so bad if he found out about this and we didn’t go to his practice, besides,” she went on, “he is such a nice person! I met him recently, around six months back at a wedding, he was wearing a blue sherwani and he looked so handsome, he looked like he was the groom.” A dreamy look passed across the auntie’s face, everyone sniggered.
“He was very hospitable.” She continued, snapping out of her thoughts, ignoring Salim’s incredulous look, directed right at her. “He greeted us as soon as we arrived at the wedding, and offered us soft drinks and he even made sure we got good seats as the entire reception hall was bursting with guests.” Mr. Khan nodded approvingly at the all the information.
“His clinic is in Cuff parade.” Cuff parade was one of the most exclusive parades in Bombay, Shaheen perked up when she heard this. “You really should go and see him Salim and when you do, make sure you tell him I sent you.” Shaheen was quick to support the aunty, even though she hadn’t heard of Dr. Mansoor.
“Yes aunty, we will most definitely take Salim to Dr. Mansoor, he must be one of the best, a doctor to the stars if he is based in Cuff parade.” They both looked at Salim expectantly, waiting for him to jump at the chance of going to Dr. Mansoor. Salim looked at them both disbelievingly and shook his head. How would he ever remember a doctor he had met when was only eight years old, he thought, he couldn’t even spell the word doctor then. Salim shut his eyes tight; his aunty hadn’t mentioned anything about Dr Mansoor’s medical record or his practice. Being a nice person didn’t make the man a good doctor, thought Salim, ignoring his aunty and Shaheen.
“Dad, please find me a doctor, a good one.” He pleaded.
“But this Dr. Mansoor sounds very good-” began Mr. Khan, Salim interrupted him.
“No Dad, find me someone we know is good.” Mr. Khan began flicking through the yellow pages again. Meanwhile, on the other side of the room, all the excitement of Salim’s fall was beginning to bore some of the guests, mainly his boss, Mr. Malhotra. Mr. Malhotra edged towards the bar gesturing for some of his staff to join him. He poured himself a sneaky vodka and took a grateful sip.
“So guys, what do we see happening tomorrow? What’s our target?” And he launched into a sales meeting.
As boredom set in, deflating the buoyant atmosphere, initially of the party and then the unlikely incident; the guests began dispersing around the room. One of the quieter guests, Mr. Khan’s brother, Salim’s chacha, came forward.
“Salim.” He said in serious, grave tones. “We need to consult our family doctor, Doctor
Patel. You must go to him first and he will advise you of what to do.”
“But chacha,” said Salim, carefully curbing his tone, his uncle was one who got offended very easily. “Isn’t Doctor Patel a GP?”
Chacha was not pleased with this response. “So what if he practices general medicine? You think you’re so grown up now Salim.” Everyone sighed, it was too late, chacha was already feeling bad.
“Have you forgotten who you went to when you had a cold Salim? Who you went to when you had a fever, who prescribed you anti-biotic then? Who was there for you when you needed your iron levels tested huh? It is a part of our family tradition,” he carried on pompously, “to consult Doctor Patel, before we go to anyone else, and he is the one who recommends which doctor we go to thereafter.”
Silence had descended over the crowd, everyone turned to Salim, wanting to know how he would handle this one.
“But chacha,” Salim replied in a placatory manner, “I don’t need to see Doctor Patel first, I already know I have a broken ankle. What’s the point of wasting time and money, isn’t it better to just go to an orthopedic specialist?”
Chacha shakes his head, going red in the face, Mrs. Khan tries catching Salim’s eye to tell his to back down, but he doesn’t look at her.
“I am very surprised at you Salim, if you don’t want to respect your elders and carry on with your own foolish ways, then go ahead.” He doesn’t stop there with the emotional blackmail.
“You are like my son Salim, do you really think that I would advise you in the wrong way? Do you really think I would suggest anything that wasn’t for your own good, do you not think I have your best interest at heart?” As chacha became redder in the face and the atmosphere became intense, Mr. Khan thought he better interject before his brother had a heart attack. After all, he was a heart patient with a history of high blood pressure, all diagnosed by Dr Patel.
“Nikhil, why don’t you take chacha to the buffet table and get him some sweets, my wife! She makes the best sweets in the world!” He cried, trying to lighten the mood, as he ushered Nikhil and his brother towards the food, which was the only thing that would distract his brother.
At the other end of the room, Priya stifled a yawn as Mr. Malhotra droned on, he had gone from discussing this week's sales figures and six or seven vodka tonics later, he was getting his sales targets confused with real estate sales in Dubai. Priya looked towards Salim and the crowd surrounding him, desperate for some sort of distraction to take her away from her hopelessly drunk boss. Just then Shaheen called out to someone across the room, she wasn’t calling Priya but she took the opportunity and raised her hand, “who me? I’ll be right there.” She jumped off her stool and zoomed towards a confused looking Shaheen, before her boss had the opportunity to notice she was gone. She immediately launched into a conversation with Shaheen and Salim, so that the boss could see that she was engrossed.
“This is very unfortunate Salim, you need to take some time off work.” She stated, mater of fact. Nikhil ears started to burn; he immediately stopped his conversation with Shaheen’s mum and rushed over to the Salim circle. “Did I hear someone suggest Salim should take some time off work?” Salim closed his eyes. “Here we go again,” he thought, “why does this guy have something bad to say about everything?” Salim didn’t let his irritation show. Nikhil continued, “Salim, don’t take time off work on medical grounds, even if you need support just come to the office.” Salim humored his friend and he knew that the crowd needed something new, “Why Nikhil?” He asked, dreading the long-winded reply, Nikhil was sure to give. “Yeah, why Nikhil?” echoed the crowd.
With all the attention surrounding him, Nikhil puffed his chest out and began his tale. “Well, the company I was working with previously about two years ago had a really nice branch manager. He was really hard working and excellent with everyone but then tragedy struck.” Nikhil paused for effect. “When he was taking a bath, he slipped and slipped a disk. The doctors advised him to take four weeks off work but when the management heard about this and knew that he would not be available for the next four weeks, they found a temporary replacement.”
“So what happened to the nice manager?’ Interrupted Mrs. Khan.
“This is the sad bit, this new manager didn’t turn out to be temporary, he took over absolutely everything and when the old manager returned from his sick leave, he had been demoted. He was under this new manager.” Everyone tutted and shook their heads at the unfairness of it all.
“So he took the position, but he wasn’t happy and left the company within two months.” He turned to Salim pleadingly. “This is why Salim, I’m telling you not take time off through medical grounds.” He lowered his voice looking towards Mr. Malhotra, who was practically on the floor. “Management don’t have any sentimental value for their staff these days, as soon as you’re not there for a couple of days, they start looking for replacements, all companies are like this, even ours.”
Salim sighed. He couldn’t think about the company and time off and all of that right now, he had to get to a doctor. His ankle was throbbing with pain. Meanwhile, Mr. Khan was making a list of all the hospitals they could go to.
“Look Salim, there are some hospitals we could have gone to nearby, but they don’t have emergency facilities and they close at nine, why don’t we check out some of these government hospitals?” Salim nearly fell off the sofa. “There is no way, “ he said, his voice quivering, “that I am going to a government hospital, I would rather bear this terrible pain, than go to one of those cockroach infested pits.” Shaheen seconded him, “Yeah, Salim can sit in pain all night, there is no way he is going to a government hospital! What if someone saw us there?”
Back on the other side of the room, someone had picked Mr. Malhotra off the floor and poured some strong, black coffee down his throat, he was almost presentable again; and the sales meeting continued. Except now, it was heading in a different direction. The topic was workers benefits. When Priya overheard this term, she slipped back into the meeting.
“Now that Salim has broken his ankle, he will have to take some time off work, how many days can he take off as per company policy?” Asked one of the employees. The HR manager was present and took the question from Mr. Malhotra, who didn’t have a clue what was being asked.
“All employees are eligible for up to seven days paid medical leave, in a year.” He said monotonously.
“But Salim will need more than seven days, surely?” Said Priya, concerned for her injured friend. “What will happen in this case?” She asked, leaning forward.
“Well, after the seven days of paid leave, the employee can take up to thirty days of unpaid leave, after this, if he has still not returned to work, he will be dismissed. On terms of medical grounds.” All the disgruntled employees muttered at the unfairness of it all, under their breath of course. On overhearing this, Salim thought to himself, “man I just slipped, we don’t even know how serious it is and these guys are already talking about kicking me out of the company, on medical grounds! God! Please save me from these people, who needs enemies with friends like these!” Priya’s voice invaded his thoughts.
“So are we insured on medical grounds?” She asked the admin manager, concerned for her own health and safety.
“Yes you are,” replied the admin manager. “But only for incidents occurring during office hours.”
“Oh, so Salim won’t be covered for this?” The admin manager shook his head gravely. Priya left the meeting and slowly walked towards Salim, hoping the answer to the question she is going to ask him, would be a yes.
“Salim, did you hear all that? Your case won’t be covered under the company’s health insurance. Do you have private health insurance?” She held her breath.
“Yes I do.” Replied Salim, Priya clapped with relief.
“Thank God for that! You know how bad these hospitals can be. How they can rip you off, for the smallest complaint. First they charge you a registration fee, the
n the doctor’s fees, and more if he is consultant. And then they blow it out of proportion, if you go in with a headache, they make you do a full MRI brain scan and take about five pints of blood, checking for anything and everything!” Everyone nodded in agreement.
“And they don’t stop there,” continued Priya, on a role, “then they prescribe all sorts of expensive medicines that you probably don’t need and is only available in their pharmacies!”
“They are a bunch of thieves!” Shouted chacha, clutching at his chest. Mr. Khan led him out of the room to one of the bedrooms, so he could lie down. All this excitement was not good for him.
“Anyway,” continued Priya, moving swiftly on to her next topic, “my cousin in Canada says medical care is all free out there, that’s one of the reasons I’m planning to move there.”
“Wow!” Exclaimed Mrs. Khan, turning to her husband. “We should move there too.” He rolled his eyes and turned to listen to the conversation going on next to him. As they all discussed medical care and where it was cheaper and what steps to take to move there, Kumar, a friend of Salim sauntered into the party. He looked around surprised, “what kind of party’s this,” he thought to himself. He followed the noise and conversation, with his friend, Batliwala in tow. As Kumar approached the crowd, he saw Salim laid up on the sofa, his face creasing in agony.
“Salim, what happened man?” He crouched down and shook his friend’s hand. Salim groaned, happy to see a new face, “I fell man, I’m in so much pain and we haven’t even decided what to do about this.” He shook his head, giving Kumar a pointed look. Looking around at all the kerfuffle, Kumar immediately understood the situation.
“You’re in luck buddy, meet my friend Batliwala. Doctor Batliwala. He’s new around here, I thought I would bring him here to meet you all, I’m very glad I did now” He gestured for his friend to come forward. Batliwala shook Salim’s hand.
“Congratulations Salim, so how did this happen?” Said Dr Batliwala smoothly and professionally, Salim instantly felt better. Salim launched into the whole story, the doctor listened patiently. He lifted Salim’s trouser leg and examined his ankle, very gently. The crowd waited with baited breath, to hear the diagnosis.
“Well, it will have to be x-rayed, it may be a little fracture but you will need to keep your leg elevated and in the meantime, I can prescribe you anti-inflammatory medication and pain relief.” Salim sighed with relief and gratitude.
“At last.” He thought to himself. “Someone with some common sense!”
Just as Dr Batliwala was about to reach into his bag, Chacha appeared from nowhere. “Wait a minute, wait a minute.” He declared, sounding like a police officer trying to stop a minor offence. Dr Batliwala stood up, confused at what all the commotion was about. “We can’t just let him treat Salim, we don’t know what kind of doctor he is.” He said to Mr. Khan in a loud whisper, making sure Dr Batliwala heard his every word.
“So doctor, sorry I didn’t catch your name.” He said to Batliwala, circling him suspiciously, like a detective.
“Batliwala.” Replied the doctor, patiently.
“Where did you pass your MBBS?” He fired his first question at the doctor.
“From Nagpur medical college.” Chacha looked mildly impressed.
“Which year?”
“1985” replied the doctor, not offering any more information. Chacha looked at him with a newfound interest.
“So you must know Dr Ali? He passed his MBBS from Nagpur medical college in the same year?”
“Yes! I know him very well. Infact, he was my best friend through college and we shared a room in the dorms for five years! Chacha looked very impressed. “Sadly, we lost touch, I don’t where he is now.”
Chacha clapped his hands in triumph. “I know where he is, he settled in Canada.”
“Really!” Exclaimed the doctor.
“Yes, he’s doing very well for himself. I have known him for years, we went to the same school in Mumbai.” As the two men jubilated over having the same friend in common, Salim wanted to shout in frustration. Chacha scrolled through his phone trying to find Dr Ali’s number, whilst Dr Batliwala told him a story from their days at medical school. “Thanks Chacha.” Said Salim to himself, as Dr Batliwala punched his long lost friend’s number into his phone and immediately dialed it, thanking Chacha profusely. “You have managed to reunite two long lost friends, but my pain relief has gone for good. He will be on the phone going over twenty years of history and that will take over an hour at the very least, yes, thanks Chacha. Someone please do something!”
Kumar, who had been busy mingling and catching up with all the guests, turned to see Salim still looking distressed on his sofa, and his friend the doctor, on the phone. His friend looked thunderous, in between grimacing with pain, he thought he had better intervene here and what better method to use, than the ancient one of yogic healing. He approached Salim, who didn’t look too pleased to see him. “Great doctor friend you have Kumar,” Salim practically barked. “Talking about how many girlfriends he had fifty years ago is obviously more important to him than me and my pain.” They both looked at the doctor, who was flushed and pink, reminiscing over his college days. “Don’t worry Salim, he wasn’t meant to treat you buddy, but I was.” Kumar’s eyes twinkled as he laced his fingers together and stretched them outwards in an attempt to loosen them. Salim gave him a condescending look and then snorted with laughter. “You! Thanks Kumar but I would rather be in pain.” Salim laughed again, mirthlessly this time. Kumar ignored his cynicism.
“Salim, man, you know how much yoga has helped me and now it’s going to help you.” Salim didn’t look convinced as Kumar knelt down in front of him. “I’ll just start with some gentle yoga manipulations.” He held out his hands but Salim didn’t move. “Just let him Salim.” Hissed Shaheen, who was getting increasingly irritated and bored of the situation. “Just do it Salim.” Enthused Nikhil, who was a die-hard believer of yoga and it’s miracles. Salim eventually let Kumar take his ankle in his hands; he hissed with pain with the movement, just to let Kumar know how serious this was. Kumar gently began to apply pressure to the injured area, it didn’t feel too bad thought Salim, beginning to relax a little, in fact it was quite soothing; Salim closed his eyes. Suddenly, Salim screamed with pain. Kumar had twisted his foot a bit too enthusiastically; Salim had practically fallen off the sofa.
As Salim caught his breathe, he turned to an apologetic Kumar. “What the hell are you doing Kumar? Are you trying to make my ankle worse?” He asked, unable to believe that any friend of his could do that to him. “I’m sorry Salim, when I had hurt my ankle a few years back, my yoga guru did the same thing and my ankle was fine. I just wanted to do the same for you.” Salim did not looked convinced at the explanation; he wanted as much distance between himself and Kumar as possible.
As Mrs. Khan and Shaheen’s mum gathered around Salim, fussing over him, Mrs. Malhotra appeared, in her golden sari and matching golden hair. She looked at Salim, down her long nose. “I have a friend who can relieve pain, through the virtues of reiki, I will call her for you and she will offer pain relief, through the phone.” She offered graciously. Mrs. Khan and Shaheen’s mum exchanged an impressed glance. “So she can practice reiki over the phone?” Inquired Mrs. Khan already sold on the idea. Mrs. Malhotra nodded coolly unimpressed that these people didn’t know this; she used her friend all the time.
“How is it possible to practice reiki over the phone?” Asked Salim, as politely as he could, she was his boss’s wife after all. He didn’t have much faith in reiki in the first instance, but reiki over the phone? Was this woman deluded?
Mrs. Khan nudged Salim’s leg, indicating for him to be quiet. A shot of pain raced through his leg and hit his ankle. “Look Salim, we have to try something else now, it won’t do any harm like Kumar did, and this is over the phone. Whilst Salim started to argue with his mother, Mrs. Malhotra had already dialed her friend’s number and had briefly expl
ained the dilemma. Before Salim knew what was happening, Mrs Malhotra thrust her phone at him, he put it to his ear. “Hello?” He said, cautiously. “Hello Salim.” Replied the reiki expert smoothly. “Where exactly is your pain?” She got straight to the point, not giving Salim any room to protest or back out tactfully. Salim told her exactly where the pain was. “Ok,” she said brusquely, “now listen to me carefully, I want you to place your right palm lightly over the pain you feel in your ankle.” Salim reluctantly did as she said, amidst much oohing and ahhing from the crowd. “Have you done it?” She asked him. He told her he had. “Now I will send you positive energies from the field and your pain will slowly, but surely begin to lessen.” She goes quiet. Salim waits for the pain to lessen, but it doesn’t.
“What the hell am I doing here? I must look like a complete idiot, one hand on my leg, phone in the other, with some crazy woman who claims she can heal me over the phone with her reiki. She may as well be downloading a chicken tikka recipe off the Internet for all I know.
Suddenly, the front door banged open and ambulance sirens screamed and flashed disturbing the quiet and alarming everyone. Two paramedics with a stretcher and two nurses burst into the room, looking around manically. “Where’s the patient?” One of them boomed. Everyone pointed towards Salim, “there he is,” they all said in unison. They charged towards Salim, making everyone jump out of the way. The two men lifted Salim on to the stretcher, Salim was too shocked but when he attempted to speak to them an oxygen mask was slapped over his face. The nurse grabbed his arm and inserted a needle and immediately attached it to a drip. Mrs. Khan couldn’t bear it, she sobbed, thinking that something terrible had happened to Salim, she thought it only seemed like a fractured ankle. The crowd started to whisper, echoing her thoughts.
“Excuse me, excuse me young man.” Mr. Khan grabbed the muscular arm of one of the paramedics. “What is going on here?” He asked in confusion. The young man removed Mr. Khan’s hand. “Please stand back sir and let us do our job.” With that they took away the shell shocked Salim, everyone rushed to the window in time to see Salim being hurtled into the screaming ambulance. As they all turned back in dismay, they noticed the nurse standing by the sofa that Salim had occupied moments ago. Mr. Khan rushed to her. “What are you doing here nurse?” He asked her urgently, she shrugged, looking lost. “They forgot me again, they always forget me.” She said, shaking her head, popping a cocktail samosa from the huge spread, into her mouth.
“But nurse, don’t you think that was all too much just for a injured ankle?” Mr. Khan asked her, bemused. “Which hospital are you from?” Asked Nikhil. It was the nurse’s turn to look surprised. She turned away from them all and spoke quickly into her mobile. “Richard,” she hissed, “I told you this wasn’t the right house, the heart attack patient, Prakash is on the next lane.” As she turned around to face the crowd, the unmistakable logo for the Leelatai Hospital was embedded on her apron.
Don't feel sorry for Salim, he will be ok, just that it will take some more time
