• Thoughts to Ponder •
Have disappointments in life ever hung over you like a dark cloud? Have they overtaken you so they are all you think about or see? When your focus is on them, you’re not able to fully experience the blessings of God. How can you cultivate a grateful heart?
41
PRETTY TERRIFIC JET
Turning Grief Around
Tammy felt like she was in a fog as she wiped down the dog kennel at the vet clinic to clean it out since the dog had been released. The last couple months had been a nightmare. Her wounded heart felt battered…and bloody…and stone cold. Every day when she walked through the door at work, the scent of medicine mingled with the odor of powerful disinfectant was a welcome relief. As the end of her shift neared, she dreaded going home to an empty house.
When she got home, everywhere she looked she was reminded of her only child, Laura. She would have graduated from high school a few months prior, but she’d died in April. The shock shook Tammy and her husband, Buddy, to their core. Tammy felt like a deer blinded by the headlights of an oncoming car—not knowing which way to run so remaining frozen in place. The roller coaster of emotions would ratchet to the top of a loop and then plunge into the depths of despair. The worst time of the day was when she got home at one o’clock in the afternoon. Buddy didn’t get home until much later. Tammy hated those long, lonely hours. She felt like an empty shell. It was as if her life had ended too. She’d loved being a mom; it had been a dream come true. But now Laura was gone. What am I going to do for the next 50 years without a child to raise? she wondered. And there’s no possibility of having grandchildren now.
She knew she needed to find something else—something totally different—to occupy her time and mind. But she wasn’t interested in going to some kind of club or joining a group of people where she’d have to open her mutilated heart and be vulnerable. She closed her eyes. Lord, help me get through this.
As Tammy tidied up the kennel, her mind drifted through possibilities. She’d always loved horses but didn’t know anything about them. She vaguely knew some folks who raised horses. Maybe she could help them out. When the equine veterinarian walked through the door that afternoon, Tammy asked about horses and was referred to a local stable.
Tammy’s heart raced as she drove up to the stables. It was the first time she’d felt excited in months. The beauty of the rich, green Florida farmland soothed her soul. After being given a tour of the grounds and the big barn, she settled in to mucking stalls. A perfect job for her. She would stay physically active and keep her mind occupied until Buddy got home from work. While she forked straw, she glanced out the stall door and noticed three young horses romping in the outside paddock. She paused and watched them bounce around on their spindly legs chasing each other.
When they put the babies in the barn to feed them, two of the colts shared a stall. Tammy was asked to carry in a bucket of feed. The light-sorrel colt with a brush of white on his forehead cocked his head when he noticed the new person. Tammy gazed at “PT,” short for Pretty Terrific Jet, who was around seven months old. His dainty whiskers wiggled as he tipped his head back and smelled her. His teardrop-shaped ears pricked at attention.
How can something be so adorable? Tammy wondered. She crossed the large stall. His small hooves shuffled through the wood shavings on the floor as he followed her. She dumped his ration into the feed bucket that hung on the wall. Even though he dropped his head into the bucket to eat, his gaze followed her every move.
Monday through Friday Tammy mucked stalls in the morning and fed horses in the afternoon. When she drove out to the barn she felt she was entering a different world where she was surrounded by the peaceful sounds and scents of horses. It was a long way away from the cold, cruel world that had taken her daughter. At the stables Tammy’s heart could be at rest.
A few days into her new job she was out in the pasture where the young horses were kept. PT walked up behind her, nuzzled her black T-shirt, and begged for scratches. Tammy smiled and crouched down to be at his eye level. While she rubbed the colt, his brown eyes seemed to look directly into her shredded and hurting heart. He adored her. Days later, when she was hunkered down in his stall working, he rested his head on her shoulder. Tammy paused and turned. The colt was asking for her love. She wrapped her arms around his neck. Sighing, she leaned her cheek into his velvety-soft fur. Love rose in her heart. Maybe this colt needs me. Her world became consumed with nurturing and learning how to care for the young horse.
Three weeks from the time she started, Tammy sensed an ominous cloud hanging over her. She finished feeding the horses, picked up a curry comb, and walked back to PT’s stall to groom him. It had been a day when everything she did reminded her of Laura. The memories clung like a web she couldn’t shake loose. She slid the stall door open. The two colts were slurping down their food. PT’s gentle eyes followed her as she crouched next to his chest to brush him. He rested his head on Tammy’s shoulder. Tears dripped down her cheeks. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she buried her face in his mane and neck and sobbed. The colt tipped his head down, as if drawing her closer for a bigger hug. When he did that, Tammy’s healing began in earnest. By giving her love to the colt, she opened her heart a crack, making it possible to receive the colt’s love. Through the giving and receiving of love, the stronghold of grief was broken.
Tammy eventually bought PT, and she continued to work at the barn for quite a while. She’s sure God placed her horse in her life to give her something to love and nurture during those horribly painful months when she was grief stricken. PT was God providing a stepping-stone to get Tammy on the path to healing.
Tammy’s experience reminds me of a great Bible verse: “Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance” (1 Corinthians 13:7 NLT). Although for Tammy the hardest thing to do was to become vulnerable, it was through becoming vulnerable that love healed her from the inside out. When I reflect on that, it makes total sense. “God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them” (1 John 4:16). So by giving love away, we’re living lives of love that overflow with God. And God is the One who heals.
Tammy and Buddy took their healing one step further. On their journey to becoming emotionally whole, they had a desire to share their story and encourage hurting teens with the message that no matter what challenges a person faces, they’re not alone because God will see them through. After they finished one series of talks, 49 teens dedicated their lives to Christ!
Lord, when I’m grieving, open my eyes to opportunities to give Your love to those around me. Help me move forward and be healed in You. Amen.
• Thoughts to Ponder •
Have you been through a tough situation where your heart was deeply hurt? It might have been a friend who betrayed you, a divorce, or a death such as Tammy experienced. Did you consider finding a way to give away God’s love to help you heal? What would that look like in your life? How could you do that this week?
42
THE WHISTLE
Being Delighted
I slipped on my tall, black irrigation boots and headed out the back door. The horses and mules had been grazing for an hour on the rich spring grass, and it was time for me to call them back into their dry pen where they’d spend the rest of their day. I glanced up at the morning sun that was casting golden rays through the pale-blue sky as I strolled into the corral. In the pasture, drops of dew clung to tall sprigs of grass. The horses and mules watched me out of the corners of their eyes as they furiously grabbed their final mouthfuls. The green metal gate creaked as I swung it open. After tying it in place. I put my two little fingers together in my mouth and blew a shrill whistle.
My animals quickly raised their heads. SkySong raced toward me, his black mane and tail flowing. The others skipped into an all-out run. I grinned with delight as they thundered through the field. At that moment God spoke to my spirit. “I’m delighted when you run to Me.”
I paused. For some reason the idea of God being delighted short-circuited my thought process.
There are times that I’ve wondered if I’m bothering Him with my trivial stuff. Other times I’ve thought that maybe He just puts up with me. But “delighted”? After meditating and studying on that, I discovered this verse: “The LORD your God will delight in you if you obey his voice and keep the commands and decrees written in this Book of Instruction, and if you turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and soul” (Deuteronomy 30:10 NLT). I chuckled after I read that. If God delights in me when I run to Him, I want to be the fastest horse in the stable and race to Him like I’m on the last turn at the Kentucky Derby.
Lord, open my mind to Your thoughts and love. Amen.
• Thoughts to Ponder •
Do you think you’re bothering God when you talk to Him? Do you believe He’s too busy running the universe to pay attention to you and your problems? He’s not! God delights in you. He loves to hear from His children!
43
SEEING WITH THE HEART
True Vision
The smell of medicines the veterinarian had used hung in the chilly November air. Tonya stood by the shoulder of her bay mare in a 12 x 16 box stall attached to a large riding arena. The 37-year-old woman stroked the bay’s soft winter coat. In the last three hours Tonya’s world had turned upside down. She professionally raised and trained thoroughbreds. This five-year-old mare was one of Tonya’s prospects for competition and one of the last foals out of her original breeding bloodlines.
Tonya’s stomach twisted as she ran her fingers over the mare’s face, tracing the prickly sutures on the four-inch gash above Lady’s right eye. The mare had gotten kicked in the head by another horse so hard that she’d been knocked unconscious and her skull fractured. The veterinarian had used ultrasound to detect stray bone fragments and dig them out of the wound.
The mare was breathing shallowly, and the swelling around her brain had caused her to go deaf and blind. The veterinarian hadn’t been encouraging. He’d said he didn’t know if the mare would live through the next couple of hours, much less regain her hearing and sight. After he packed up his instruments and left, Tonya wondered what she was supposed to do next.
Although Tonya had been born blind, her parents raised her the same way they would if she could see. One summer day at an amusement park, her parents lifted the three-year-old onto the back of a pony. Tonya threw a fit. There were two ponies—one that trotted and one that walked. Thinking she might be frightened, her parents had placed her on the slow horse. Tonya wanted on the fast one! By the time she was five, she loved sitting next to her grandfather in the stands at the Del Mar race track. Tonya loved hearing the excitement of the cheering crowd, the singsong voices of the announcers, and the horses thundering down the track.
Tonya’s parents looked for something in which she could excel and build a fulfilling life. Although they weren’t horse people, they recognized this was something their daughter loved. They purchased several horses for her through the years. They usually got snookered by horse traders and ended up with misfits, rejects, and difficult horses. But Tonya gleaned a lifetime of lessons by working with the troubled critters. Because she was blind, she couldn’t rely on sight to deal with their dangerous behavior so she learned to train from her heart. Working with horses became second nature. She eventually carved out a niche as a professional rider and trainer.
Tonya took a deep breath. The veterinarian’s advice swirled through her mind. He’d been adamant that she shouldn’t go into the stall with Lady. Due to the brain swelling, the mare might be unpredictable and reactive. She could lash out by kicking, rearing, or even falling on Tonya. It was hard to tell the behavior a brain injury might cause. If something were to happen, Tonya’s blindness would keep her from seeing it coming so she wouldn’t be able to get out of the way. Tonya had strongly objected. “I’m the only one she’ll trust under these circumstances.”
The veterinarian replied, “At least have someone with you, so if you get hurt you’ll have help.”
Taking his advice, Tonya asked her mom to stand outside the stall. Now the stall door was slightly ajar so Tonya could escape quickly if need be. Gently stroking the mare’s neck, Tonya knew Lady’s recovery would depend on staying calm. If the horse freaked out, she could easily hurt or even kill herself.
Horses are prey animals, and one reason they tend to be flighty is their location at the bottom of the food chain. Other animals hunt and eat them—and the horses know it. Lady needed to feel safe so she wouldn’t bolt and crash into the walls. She needed to learn how to get around safely. She’d have to learn a new skill set—how to feel her way around the stall and, later, around a corral. Tonya knew how frightening it was to blindly crash into walls. The young woman decided she’d be Lady’s “seeing-eye person” until the horse adjusted. The biggest problem was trying to get Lady to understand what was going on.
Tonya stood next to Lady’s left shoulder. Using her right hand she gently curled her fingers around the snap of the lead rope under the mare’s chin so she could guide her head. In her left hand, she held the extra length of lead rope so she could give the horse room to move without having to be too close to her. With the lightest pressure possible, Tonya pulled the lead rope forward, encouraging the mare to move. Lady would need to trust Tonya totally to walk forward blindly.
The tall bay hesitated and then tentatively took a step. Tonya smiled and stroked the mare’s neck. She shadowed the horse by stepping forward as well.
Lady held her head high, and her muscles were tense.
Tonya lightly tugged again. The mare shuffled her feet through the shredded paper bedding scattered on the floor. Tonya counted the steps until they were within a few feet of the wall. Tonya hesitated. If the mare didn’t follow the cues and slammed into the wall, she would panic. Carefully Tonya held the rope in her left hand and placed her right hand four inches behind the mare’s ears. She wanted Lady to obey the cue that meant “keep your feet in place but stretch your neck and head forward.”
The mare stepped forward and smacked the wall with her nose. Shocked, she threw her head up, snorted, and lurched back a few steps.
Tonya stayed alongside, afraid that if she let go the mare would explode in fear.
Lady suddenly froze in place, her breathing shallow and hard.
Tonya stroked the mare’s neck, the only comfort she could communicate to the blind and deaf mare.
In a few minutes Lady lowered her head, and her breathing slowed.
Once again Tonya cued her forward to within a few feet of the wall. Tonya stopped the mare. This time when Tonya put her hand behind Lady’s ears giving the cue, the mare cautiously did it. She brushed the wall with her whiskers and then her nose.
Tonya’s heart leaped with joy. Lady gets it! She understands!
After they turned 90 degrees, the mare’s muscles relaxed. Tonya “showed” Lady the water bucket that hung from the wall and the feeder in the corner. At each turn, the horse stretched her neck and head and felt for the wall. After a couple laps, Tonya reversed directions. Finally she let go and stepped out of the way. She listened as Lady explored on her own. Tonya could hear her gently brush against the walls. The mare kind of tapped her feet as she walked around.
Tonya smiled, realizing that Lady was doing exactly what she’d done when learning how to get around without seeing. She knew Lady was making a mental map of the stall.
Throughout the next two-and-a-half months, Tonya served as Lady’s eyes and ears. She planted a baby monitor in the horse’s stall and kept the receiver with her so she could tell if Lady was in trouble. Many health battles were fought, and Tonya tackled each one using the same training method. She looked into Lady’s heart to see what the horse needed, and then met her there with help and encouragement.
Tonya’s gift astonishes me. I first heard about her through a friend who had hired her and couldn’t quit talking about how her horse had been trans
formed through Tonya’s gentle training methods. Tonya’s approach simmered in my mind for days before I grasped why it was so effective. When you look into the heart of a horse, you can clearly see how to help it. In the situation with the injured mare, Tonya could relate to the mare on an even deeper level because she also was blind. She knew the fears Lady was facing and the hurdles she’d need to jump. She’d been there and done that. Because she loved the mare, Tonya was willing to invest the time into coaching her through the disaster and recovery.
• Tonya, Izze, and Lady •
Under Tonya’s care and guidance, slowly and miraculously Lady regained her hearing and eyesight. Two years later Lady gave birth to a healthy foal, Izze, that I had the privilege of meeting.
Tonya’s story with Lady reminds me of the greatest trainer and coach of all time—Jesus Christ. He also has experienced what we have. “For this reason he had to be made like them, fully human in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted” (Hebrews 2:17-18). Because Christ became a man and experienced the trials of daily living, He knows what’s going on deep inside us. He’s been here and done that. He wants to share His wisdom and give us help so we can live happy, fulfilling lives.
I’ve always been overwhelmed by the thought that the God of the universe left His beautiful and comfortable home in heaven to come to earth and live with us. He knew humans would kill Him, but He came anyway. He didn’t come for Himself—He came for you and me.
Because of His love for us, Jesus looks into our hearts to see what we need. Then He comes alongside us and coaches us, teaching us the cues that will keep us safe. “Don’t hit that wall,” He says. And if we don’t listen and we bonk our noses, He’s there to comfort us and encourage us to repent, turn the corner, and step forward again.
Great Horse Stories Page 19
