by Bella Drake
“Are these berries?!” Lucy yelled over at me.
“Yeah, blackberries!”
“Are you serious? This is huge!”
I walked over to Lucy who was picking one ripe blackberry after another, popping them into her mouth. “Mmm, they are so good. Here..,” she said while forcing a berry in my mouth. “These are like six dollars a carton in Portland.”
“They grow wild down here. People actually hire guys to get rid of them because they are so invasive.”
“Are you serious?” Lucy said, with a mouth full of berries.
“Yeah, I used to take Cassie out here. We would pick a bunch of them for her mom to make pies.”
“Oh Matt,” Lucy said, hugging me.
“It’s fine, I’m okay. I need to remember those things. It keeps me with her.”
“Well, I know exactly what we need.”
“Oh, what’s that?” Lucy went to the back of her Rover and opened the trunk. She came back with a bottle of wine – a little grape with our berries. “You brought wine?” I asked her.
“Hey, you never know,” she said, handing me the bottle. “Can you open that?”
“Sure,” I chuckled.
“I didn’t bring glasses, so we’ll just do it hobo style. I think I have a blanket back here too. Yep, here it is.” Lucy found a plaid picnic blanket and spread it on the ground. The wind was blowing but we were somewhat protected by the huge blackberry shrubs that towered overhead. We sat and ate blackberries and swigged the bottle of wine. Lucy curled up and put her head in my lap. “God, I think I am turning into a blackberry,” she giggled.
With a big sigh, she closed her eyes and soon fell asleep. I caressed her head and watched her sleep. She was so beautiful and fragile. All I wanted to do was drive home and put her in her bed, safe and sound. As the warm summer wind blew on us, I sat replaying every step of the plan in my head. I imagined opening the door and seeing exactly where my pants were that had Cassie’s wristband in them. Mrs. Kay wouldn’t have gone in my apartment unless someone from the club forced her to. Even the craziest guys were forbidden from doing any business or intimidation within city limits. So, even if they spoke to Mrs. Kay they probably acted nice while looking for me. I hope the latter was the case because Mrs. Kay was a sweet lady.
I scratched my back against the tree that I was leaning on like a bear. Lucy stirred a little and then fell back asleep, still curled up in my lap. I looked up into the swirling branches of the huge oak tree we were under. They thrashed back and forth from the gusts of wind. They looked like they would break, but the strong oak held its own. I imagined I was that poor fucking guy rotting in the dirt getting eaten by buzzards and worms. I thought about his family and hoped he didn’t have one. I kept telling myself that he was a bad dude and deserved what he got. I wondered if it was the same guy Jay told me about, the one that used to be a member of the club. I thought about that night when they made me shoot him. I remembered the smoke coming from the hole in his chest and the smell of burnt flesh. I couldn’t get the smell of his rotting body out of my nose. I never wanted to smell it again.
I awoke to the warmth of the sun on my face. “Oh shit! Lucy! Lucy, wake up!” Lucy looked up at me, her lips still stained from her berry feast.
“What time is it?” She murmured sleepily.
“Crap! I don’t know.”
She sat up and I jumped up and hurried to the car. “It's six-thirty, we're okay.”
“God, you scared me,” Lucy said, trying her best to straighten her hair.
“C’mon, let's get a move on.”
“I need to pee.”
“You better pop a squat then.”
“Pop a what?!”
“A squat. You know, squat and pee?”
“Oh God, really?”
“Not unless you can hold it.”
“God, I haven’t done that since I was a kid.”
“Well if you want to relive your childhood, I suggest you do it now.”
“Geez, fine.” Lucy disappeared around a tree. Whole Lotta Love from Zeppelin came on the stereo and I anxiously tapped to the beat waiting for Lucy to pee. The door opened and she jumped in. “I think something bit me.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, right on my ass.”
“Can you blame it?”
“Very funny, but thanks. So, what’s the plan, man?”
“We park. I hike and get the bracelet. You stay put, and I mean stay put.”
“I know, I know.”
“I don’t know why we don’t just pull up to the front and you go in super-fast.”
“Lucy, there could be a prospect posted across the street or in the bushes, you never know.”
“You really think they are still watching you?”
“I don’t know, but I can't take the chance. Not to mention, I don’t want them seeing this car and me in it. We can’t risk it, okay?”
“Okay.”
We drove back through town and saw that there were signs of life at the local diner. People were filing in to get their coffee and greasy breakfasts. I felt like a ghost. The entire club could be riding right next to us and they wouldn’t even know it. We twisted through town and then through a couple of rural neighborhoods until I came to a stop in a cul-de-sac in the back of a tract housing community. There was a hiking trail that passed next to the back of my apartment over the hill.
“Okay, I’m going. Mrs. Kay leaves at seven forty-five on the dot. I will get in and out and be back here by about eight thirty.” Lucy was looking at me and her eyes were telling me to stay. “Look, if I’m not back here by nine you need to go home.”
“What?! I can't.”
“Lucy, you need to listen to me. Promise me you will leave. If for some reason I don’t come back, I will contact you.”
“Matt, wait.”
“I can't, I need to go now.”
Lucy pulled me in and kissed me like it was the last time she’d ever see me. She looked at me, holding onto my arms as if it was a tug of war. “I love you,” she said, crying.
I looked at her and wiped her tears and smiled. “I love you too Lucy, I do. I'll be back, I promise, but I gotta go now.”
I turned and started up the trail towards my place over the hill.
Chapter 20
Lucy
I watched Matt walk up the trail until he disappeared over the hill. As soon as he disappeared, I looked at the dashboard clock, it read seven a.m. I wondered how far of a hike it was to Matt's. I wished I was going with him, I should have gone with him. I tried to convince myself that everything was going to be okay, but I was a nervous wreck. I tried to breathe slowly and visualize us driving back home. I imagined Matt showing me Cassie’s bracelet that meant the world to him and telling me another story about her. I imagined us making love and swimming in the lake. “Fuck, why did he have to leave that wristband behind? Was it even where he said it would be?” I questioned myself. My breathing technique wasn’t working and I hated to wait but that was all I could do. I tried to distract myself with a puzzle game on my phone, but it just annoyed me. Nothing could get past the fact that the man I loved was possibly in danger and I couldn’t do anything about it. “Okay, seven twenty. I wonder if Matt is there yet.”
I began to panic and I couldn’t take it anymore. I know I promised Matt I would stay put but I couldn’t just sit here, I just couldn’t. I got out of the car and started walking up the trail. It was steep and I was rushing, out of breath but I kept the pace. By the time I got to the top of the hill, I realized I’d forgotten my phone. There was no way I was going back down to the car. I kept on. The trail dropped down into a valley that looked over a rural neighborhood. I didn’t see Matt in the valley below so I hurried down the trail until it flattened into a field. It was beautiful here, the sun had turned the morning sky pink.
I crossed the field and kept looking ahead, not knowing where I was going. I scanned it looking for Matt. The path led to a stone fence line that ran be
hind some tract homes just like the ones where we parked. This can't be it, it must be further up ahead, I thought. The newly stoned wall ended, and the neighborhood turned into older homes with a few apartment complexes. I spied the apartments that backed the trail, but I didn’t see any sign of Matt. “Damn! I don’t know what it looks like. Which one is it? Fuck it!” I said to myself. I walked off the path and to the nearby street. Even though the guys that are after Matt didn’t know I existed or what I looked like, I pulled my baseball cap down and put on a pair of sunglasses that I had in my pocket. I tried to act natural walking down the sidewalk. I saw a man up ahead. He was walking his dog and as I passed, he nodded to me.
“Good morning,” he said.
“Hi, yes. Yes, it is a good morning,” I said. “Do you happen to know the time?”
“Oh, uh... yes. I do,” he said, stopping and turning to face me. He looked at his watch. “It's seven fifty on the dot.”
“Thank you so much.”
“My pleasure.” The nice man smiled and continued on his way.
“Okay. Mrs. Kay must be on her way to church and Matt is probably on the move,” I told myself. I quickened my pace and as I came to one of several apartment buildings, I saw Matt run up a flight of stairs. I hurried towards the blue, two-story apartment building and tried to act like I belonged.
I stopped at the mailbox and pretended to get my mail before walking on to the building. I looked over my shoulder, scanning the cars and the buildings across the street. I didn’t see anyone around. The street was quiet. I couldn’t imagine a biker being diligent enough to be alert at seven a.m. on a Sunday looking for Matt who’d been gone for so long. I headed up the same stairway that Matt went up. I snuck up quietly, passing a couple of doors. As I passed the next door, I was startled by a woman who popped out, as if she was waiting for me.
“Hello dear, can I help you?” the old woman said.
“Oh, hi. Uh, no.”
“I thought you were Matt.”
“Matt?” I asked.
“Yes, I thought you were Matt or one of his friends. He lives at the top of the stairs and I thought I heard someone go up. You're not a friend of Matt's?” the lady asked me again.
“Uh, well...”
“Mrs. Kay, how are you?” Matt asked as he suddenly came out of a door at the top of the stairs.
“Matt! There you are. I haven’t seen you in days,” Mrs. Kay said.
“Shouldn’t you be in church?”
“Oh yes dear, but my sciatica is acting up and I’m in too much pain to sit on those hard pews. I don’t know why it’s so ungodly to cushion a seat. But, Pastor Jerome just insists that it’s a luxury. I guess God wants us to be uncomfortable while we pray.”
“Well, it was nice to see you Mrs. Kay, but we need to get going.”
“Oh, so this is your friend?”
Matt looked at me and he was pissed. His eyes burned a hole in my head and I looked back at Mrs. Kay.
“I’m Becky,” I said, giving Mrs. Kay a wrong name just in case someone asked. I looked back at Matt and he rolled his eyes.
“Oh, nice to meet you, Becky. You can call me Kay,” she said, shaking my hand. “Oh Matt, while you're here can you do me a favor?”
“Uh, well we…”
“Sure, he will,” I said, cutting Matt off. He moved past me and looked at me as if I lost my mind.
“Oh good, thank you.”
“Come on in, I just need a box of books brought down from my closet. I just can't reach it anymore.”
We went into Mrs. Kay’s apartment. It looked like your average grandma's place. It smelled a little stale, but everything was neat and there seemed to be a theme of floral stuff everywhere.
“I love your decorating,” I said.
“Oh, thank you, dear. I just love flowers, they make me so happy.”
“Yes, me too,” I said, looking at Matt who was now closing the door and looking out onto the street as he shut it.
“Can I get you a cup coffee?”
“No thanks, Mrs. Kay,” Matt said.
“Oh, it's already made. You have time for a cup, don’t you?” I looked at Matt. He gave me a look, nodding his head towards the door as if to say, “What the fuuuck, let's go!” “I think I have some cookies too. They're not homemade but the man at the store said they were organic, whatever that means.”
“Mrs. Kay where is the box you need to be taken down?” Matt asked impatiently.
“Oh yes, it’s right in my bedroom. Becky dear, can you pour the coffee and I'll show Matt where the box is?”
“I would be happy to Kay,” I said, smiling at Matt.
He rolled his eyes again. I went into the kitchen. It was pink. Everything was pink with pink floral wallpaper. It literally made me stop in my tracks to take it all in. Wow, I thought, she really does like floral.” There was a beautiful arrangement of flowers on the table. That was until I went over to smell them and realized they were fake. There were floral plates on the wall and floral figurines on little shelves over the stove. Everywhere you looked there were flowers. Wow, I thought to myself. I walked over to the coffee maker by the sink and poured three cups of coffee. I picked up a cookie from the floral plate that Mrs. Kay had put out and looked out the kitchen window that faced the street.
“If you want cream it's in the fridge,” I heard Mrs. Kay yell from the back room.
“Thanks, Kay.”
I looked out onto the street as I nibbled on the cookie. All was quiet. I began to relax, thinking that all was well and that we were just paranoid. Just then, I saw it. “Oh shit.” A van pulled up across the street. I know it could be any van, but my gut told me that this was a biker guy van. It was jet black and looked like it had been in a couple of crashes. A guy got out. He had long straight hair and was wearing a sleeveless denim vest. He looked at the building and pulled out a cell phone. He dialed as he started walking towards the apartment building. I dropped the cookie in the sink. Shit, shit, shit!
“Oh, that’s okay dear,” Mrs. Kay said, as she walked in and saw me drop the cookie. “There’s plenty more, they were on sale.”
I looked at Matt with big eyes. As Mrs. Kay went to the pantry to get some more cookies, I motioned for Matt to come to the window and look out. He did and then he ducked. He looked at me and mouthed the word “Fuck!” As soon as he did, we could hear the guy walking up the stairs towards Matt's apartment. Matt rushed over to me and put his face next to my ear.
“Get her to show you her bedroom,” he whispered.
“Um, Mrs. Kay? I bet your bedroom set is beautiful. I would love to see it,” I told her.
“Why yes dear it is, and you know what? I would love that. Matt, you help yourself to some cookies while us girls do our thing.”
Mrs. Kay took my hand and as she led me out of the kitchen, I looked back at Matt. He was peeking out the window and I could see his hand reaching behind him. He was about to grasp the gun that was in his waistband, just hidden by his shirt. As we walked past the living room I could see the shadow of the man passing outside the living room window by the front door.
“You know dear, I got this set years ago at an antique store. I remember seeing it and I just had to have it.” Kay brought me into her room and it was an explosion of flowers. There were floral rugs, floral wallpaper, pillows, bedspread… everything was floral. The furniture was white with roses painted all over it.
“Oh, it's just beautiful,” I said, putting on my best smile even though I thought we were about to die.
I heard someone knocking on a door. It wasn’t Mrs. Kay's apartment, but someone was knocking on a door and it was close enough to hear.
“Well, who could that be?” Kay asked out loud. “I know Mr. Thomas is out of town and Matt is here. It's probably those damn Mormons,” she said, as she walked out into the hallway.
“Mrs. Kay, wait.”
She stopped and turned around. “Yes, dear?”
“I just wanted to know... uh, where di
d you get this wallpaper? It's beautiful.”
“Oh, isn’t it though? Let me see who’s knocking first and then I'll tell you about it.”
Fuck! I thought.
I followed behind her and as we entered the living room, Matt was peeking out of the window behind a floral curtain.
“Matt, what are you doing?” Kay asked him.
Matt turned and put his finger up to his mouth to say, “Shhh…” And, thank God, he had put the gun away. Mat tip-toed over to Mrs. Kay.
“It’s a friend of mine. He wants to borrow money from me and I don’t want him to know I’m here,” Matt whispered to Mrs. Kay.
“Oh, is it the same fella that has been by every day?”
“Has someone been by every day?” Matt questioned, still whispering.
“Oh yes, like clockwork. Every morning about, well... right now,” Mrs. Kay said while looking at the porcelain floral clock on the wall. “He must really need the money.”
“Well, he’s an old friend and I think he has a gambling problem. I lent him money a while back and now he’s trying to find me to get more.”
Mrs. Kay clasped her hands together. “Oh, that sounds like my first husband Harold. He spent our last dime at the casino and even after we divorced, he still came to me for money,” she whispered back.
The man stopped knocking on Matt's door and we could see his shadow walk back down the stairs and pass in front of Kay’s window. We all stood silently in place as he stopped and from the sound of it, lit a cigarette. After a moment, he walked on. Matt and I both sighed heavily. He snuck over to the window and peeked out again. I hurried over to him and looked out the other side of the window and saw the man return to the van, start it and drive away. I looked over at Matt and he looked back at me, taking a big breath before exhaling as if we dodged a bullet.
“So, you say he’s been by every day?” Matt asked Mrs. Kay.
“Like clockwork,” she repeated. “Every morning he knocks and then moves on. You know, the same guy was here the day I saw you last but with some of your other friends.”
“Some other friends? What did they look like?”
