Drayton had asked us to trust Xavier, but could Xavier have fooled him? Done stuff when Drayton wasn’t aware?
Rivers took a step toward Xavier, but Ambrosius cut him off. “No, Rivers. It’s not his fault. He doesn’t know about the mark on the nape of his neck. He’s been branded.”
Xavier’s hand came up to touch his neck and a flash of panic flitted across his face. “What mark?”
Ambrosius was talking about the tattoo. The one Drayton shouldn’t have. The one I’d seen in the kitchen a day or so ago.
“I sensed the strange energy when I entered the room,” Ambrosius said, “but it took a while to pinpoint it. The mark on your neck is a powerful spying rune.”
Rivers strode over to Xavier. “Let me see.” He pulled down Xavier’s collar and stared at the tattoo. “Fucking hell.”
“What is it?”
“An eye,” Rivers confirmed. “It’s called an eye. Asher’s been watching us and listening in. The rune can also be used to maneuver the branded person using suggestion. It could explain why you felt you needed to take so many walks around the mansion.” He released Xavier’s collar. “The rune would have allowed Asher to control you when your guard was down, like when you were asleep.”
Xavier swallowed hard. “You think he used me to find this lair?” He clawed at his neck. “Get it off. Please, just get it off.”
More bodies entered the foyer.
“What’s going on?” Marika asked.
Xavier rubbed at the nape of his neck again. “He must have done this and then let me go. I just don’t ... I don’t remember.” He made a sound of exasperation. “I led him right here. He knew everything. He was prepared to sacrifice the shades at the railway because he wanted the bigger prize. He wanted the resistance, and he almost got them.”
“Can you remove it?” Ava asked Rivers.
“Yes.”
Xavier sagged in relief. “Do it. Do it now.”
“We’ll need to go down into the lair. Come with me.” He led Xavier out of the room.
Bane sighed. “Let’s get this mess cleaned up and then everyone should eat. I have a feeling we’re going to need our energy to fight what’s about to come.”
***
The masses were being fed but my hunger had died. Instead, I retired to my room with Ambrosius in tow. It was time to tell him what we needed him to do, and the guys had agreed to let me do that solo. It wasn’t fair to put Ambrosius on the spot and force him to don a brave front for everyone else. This was a big ask. We were essentially asking him to put his existence on the line. He needed to be able to say no if he wished.
“Tell me,” Ambrosius said. “What exactly is it you need me to do?”
The nerves made his voice quiver. Rivers had said we needed to get him inside Asher, he’d heard that much, so he had every reason to be wary. Why was it always easier to put your own life in jeopardy than someone else’s? I perched on the edge of my mattress and massaged my temples. My head throbbed dully, but not from aether-sight. No, this was the power pressing against the inside of my skull attempting to drill its way out.
I locked onto Ambrosius, hovering by the door, his hands clasped before him. He looked so young, so fucking young it hurt my heart. “Xavier said that Asher is having trouble accessing Merlin’s full power. It’s locked somewhere in Merlin’s brain. I’ve been thinking about it, and it must be some kind of failsafe, Merlin’s way of giving Asher the finger. Xavier believes that you can access this failsafe of power, and if you succeed, you’ll be able to loosen Asher’s hold on Merlin’s body and eliminate him for good.” His mouth parted in surprise. “It’s a risk. If you fail, it will mean death for you, and Asher will get his hands on all the power he needs to fuck us up. But if you succeed, then we could free the shade army from a lunatic commander.”
“And maybe find a way to save your life.” He caught his bottom lip between his teeth, and my gut twisted. He’d done everything to get away from Asher. He’d thought he was free, and here I was asking him to go back. We didn’t even know for sure if this failsafe was actually a means to kill Asher. This plan, Xavier’s conclusion based on his habitation of Drayton’s body, was all based on ifs and buts. Fuck it. I couldn’t ask him to do this.
“Look, forget it. Forget I asked.”
He was silent for a long time. “No. I cannot forget. I cannot turn my back on a chance to make a difference, to make my existence mean something. Merlin left me here for a reason, and all this time I believed my purpose was to be a counsellor for you. But now it’s clear to me that I made a mistake. I should have allowed Asher to claim me. I was meant to allow him to claim me. My purpose was to activate that failsafe and finish him for good.” His eyes gleamed in the aether, alight with excitement.
I opened my mouth to argue, to bring up the daggers that cut through anything, the daggers that Merlin had crafted and linked Ambrosius to. Surely their purpose had been to sever Ambrosius from the host body and set him free?
But Ambrosius was pacing now as this new idea took root in his mind. Would convincing him otherwise be productive? Bane would speak of the good of the masses. He would speak of one life to save the many, something I’d ignored when putting Ryker’s life before the residents of Midnight, arrogant that we’d be able to fight whatever came through the veil. I’d torn a hole in the fabric of our universe, and I’d let the shades in, and how many were dead? How many were lost because of my decision? Would I do it differently if I could? Would I go back and change my mind? No. Because I was fucking selfish. There was no way I’d give up Ryker, and there was no way I’d give up Ambrosius. Fuck being productive.
I pushed to my feet. “I can’t let you do this. I can’t risk losing you.”
He stopped pacing and shot me a wry smile. “But you can risk your own life? The woman who is willing to die rather than allow the people she loves to be hurt. Of course you’ll say that. This must be hard for you. Asking me to do this must go against everything you believe in.”
I sat back down and buried my head in my hands. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Ambrosius. I feel like I’m hurtling toward a precipice at an accelerated rate.”
“Then you must apply the brakes. Stop. Just stop.”
“I can’t. Stopping will hurt others, and that’s something I couldn’t live with.”
He sighed. “And if I don’t do this then I will forever consider myself a coward.”
“There is no shame in survival, Ambrosius.” A laugh threatened to choke me. Man, I was a mass of contradictions today.
He took a step toward the bed. “Says the woman who refuses to kill any more shades. The woman who hides her deterioration from others?”
I looked up sharply. He knew how bad it was. He could sense it. I’d hidden it from the guys, made out it wasn’t so bad and that there was time. Ambrosius couldn’t blow my hard work now. “Don’t. You can’t say anything to the guys. If you do, they’ll want to help siphon the power, and their help could get them killed.”
“And if I remain silent, you will die.”
A chill ran up my arms. “Oleander will find a solution. Marika is working on it too. There’ll be a way out.” But there was zero conviction in my words.
“Serenity, we’ve scoured that library ... I don’t think there will.”
Fuck him for just coming out and saying it. Fuck him for forcing me to face up to it. “I know.”
“You have to tell Bane and the others.”
And then they’d try to help and the power would burn through them. “I’m okay for now. I’ll let them know if it gets too bad.”
“Serenity ...”
“Ambrosius, please, just drop it.”
He bowed his head. “If Asher has become aware of Merlin’s hidden power then he will no longer want to claim me. He would have realized that, as part of Merlin’s consciousness, I may be able to unlock that power and use it against him. We lost our advantage by not letting him claim me sooner. As far as I am aware, Merlin was
never able to see into the aether, but Asher will sense my presence using Merlin’s abilities. He will block any intrusion on my part. We need to find a way for me to get close enough to slip into the host.”
“Bane is headed to Dawn in a bit. Once we have the White Wing support, then we can formulate a plan.”
“I’ll be here, at the mansion. Just call for me and I’ll come.”
“Thank you.”
He walked toward the wall but paused before slipping through. “Promise me you’ll tell Bane if the power gets too much.”
“Promise me you won’t say anything until I do.”
He blew out a breath, his young, ethereal face suddenly lined with resignation. “I do not wish to lose you, Serenity. I care for you.”
My chest warmed. “I care about you too. Trust me, I’m not a martyr. If there is a way to get through this, I’ll take it.”
He nodded, satisfied, and then melted out of the room. There was no way through this for me, though. At the rate things were progressing, I’d be lucky if I made it to the end of the week. The urge to see the guys, to gather them together and be held by them, was a physical ache, but to do so would be like ringing an alarm bell, because if they came to me now, if they held me, then I’d lose it. I’d lose my grip on what was right, and I’d beg them to save me. I’d beg them to help me live and they’d do it. They’d do it and they’d end up hurt, or even dead.
I squeezed my eyes shut and took several calming breaths. Time to act normal, and normal people got hungry and needed food.
***
The kitchen was emptying when I got there, but the remnants of a buffet-style feast still lay on the table. There was no one here to see whether I ate or not, and the relief was immense. The sound of boots coming down the steps had me grabbing a plate and loading up on autopilot.
“I was hoping I’d find you here,” Abbadon said.
Oh, good. I wouldn’t actually have to eat any of the stuff I’d picked up. I placed the plate on the table.
“You found me. What can I do for you?”
He was dressed in black, his skin alabaster against the darkness. His dark hair was swept back off his forehead and gleamed clean and glossy. He looked good, healed and rested and powerful.
“I think you should come with me and Bane,” he said.
I arched a brow. “To Dawn? I’m assuming Bane doesn’t agree. If he did, he’d be here asking me. Have you asked him why he doesn’t want me to come?”
Abbadon pressed his lips together. “I know why. Lucifer told me what transpired the last time you visited Dawn. He told me that Michael was pretty clear it would be a bad idea for the Powers to find out about your existence, that if they did, they might decide to lock you away.”
“And yet you’re here asking me to go with you?” What was I missing?
“Yes, because things have changed now. The shades have Adamah. If the White Wings see we have you—our own Adamah—then it may give them the confidence to step out of their haven and help us.”
“You make them sound like cowards.”
He smiled wryly and leaned back against the counter, his biceps bulging beneath his long-sleeved tee. “I’m afraid they are. Man has penned many tales about the courage of angels, the warriors that fought against evil. Some is truth but the majority is fabrication. The truth is there is no evil. Not in the sense that humanity expects. There is no Hell, no home in Heaven for good souls. God wasn’t the monitoring type. He left humanity to its own devices, and souls were simply recycled.”
“Or claimed by Death.”
He nodded. “So it seems. What I’m saying is that the White Wings have always found someone else to do their dirty work for them. First, it was Arthur and his knights to hunt the Black Wings, and then it was the nephilim to help build their district, and now it’s the humans who they silver and tie into servitude. If we want their help, then we’ll need a show of power, something to prove that we have an edge in this war.”
“But we don’t.” I cocked my head. “I’m dying.”
His lips tightened. “The Order will find a cure. Or Ambrosius will once he eliminates Asher.”
It was sweet of him to try and give me hope, and it would be petty to throw it back in his face, but sometimes being realistic was more important. “No, they won’t. And even if Ambrosius beats Asher, there’s no guarantee that Merlin’s hidden memories have a cure for me.” I sighed. “But I guess the White Wings don’t need to know about that.”
He smiled then, his eyes warming with empathy. “If we tell them their weapon is alive, that we too have a way to kill the shades, then they may help us.”
It didn’t matter that I had no intention of killing any more shades. Appearances mattered, and we could appear to be amiable to the idea.
“The White Wings can help us clear a path to him,” Abbadon said.
“And Ambrosius can do his thing.” Yes, this was just what we needed.
“We need the White Wings. It’s the last thing Asher will expect, and it will be just the distraction we need.”
Bane strode into the kitchen, his face like a thunder cloud. Abbadon pursed his lips and backed up.
“I told you to leave her out of this.” Bane’s tone had dropped to lethal mode.
Abbadon’s eyes narrowed, and he pushed off the counter to meet Bane in the center of the room. “I did what I thought was best, because when it comes to Serenity, your judgment is compromised.”
Bane took a menacing step toward the Black Wing, but I stepped into his path. “He’s right. You need me. I’m coming.”
“Dammit, Harker,” Bane said. “You remember what Michael said.”
“I do, but things are different now, and I’m willing to take the risk if it means we get the aid we need.” I quickly reiterated what Abbadon had just said to me. “It makes sense, Bane.”
He bristled for a moment longer and then his shoulders sagged. “I should never have put you in charge.”
I grinned. “Can’t take it back now, big guy.”
He snorted. “Fine. We leave in half an hour.”
Chapter 12
Dawn’s wards glimmered in the sunlight, winking and taunting us with their impregnable nature.
“Think of all the power funneled into keeping that functioning,” Abbadon said over the flap of his wings.
Bane dipped toward the ground. “They have power in abundance, and that’s why we’re here. We need it on our side.”
I held on tight as we dove toward the earth, trusting in his arms around me to keep me safe. Last time we’d made this journey, it had been Lucifer holding me, his cultured voice in my ear and his athletic body pressed to mine. Lucifer was still here, of course, in the curve of Bane’s jaw and the corded muscle in his arms, but damn it was good to have Bane’s rough voice back. It was damned good to hear him curse and not give a fuck.
We’d barely touched the ground when guards came pouring out of the wards led by the archangel Michael himself. Michael shook his head in reproach at us as he approached. He waved back the other winged. They did as he bid, lowering their weapons and retreating into the safety of the glittering wards.
Michael came to a halt a few meters away from us. He crossed his arms and stared. His gaze settled on Bane and his brows flicked up. “I was wondering when you’d resurface, Bane.”
“What can I say?” Bane replied. “I’m not one for lying low.”
Michael grinned. “No, you aren’t. Not even if it means handing the reins to the Black Wing commander.”
The guys both chuckled.
Michael’s gaze flicked to me. “I suppose having an anchor helped.”
Bane’s arm slipped around my waist, and I leaned into his side. “Yeah, it did.”
Abbadon cleared his throat. “Um, maybe we should get down to business.”
Michael shook his head. “As much as it’s good to see you, Bane, you can’t be here. You need to leave.” His gaze focused on me. “And you need to take her with you.” H
e shot a quick glance over his shoulder. “Rumors have been circulating about a neph with extraordinary abilities, and The Powers are eager to find out more.”
“Honestly, I don’t give a fuck about The Powers’ curiosity,” Bane said. “We’re here to tell you that Asher, the shade commander, has Adamah.” He canted his head. “You know, the supposed neph you handed over to us several decades ago for safekeeping. The neph you told us was a dangerous murderer who needed to be kept asleep forever.”
For a moment Michael’s expression was a blank, and then all color drained from his face. “You know ... You know what he is?”
Bane shrugged. “Yeah, I do now. Now that I have my old memories back, but honestly, I probably wouldn’t have thought anything about it if the fucking shades hadn’t broken into my mansion and taken him from under my damned nose.” He released me and took a step closer to Michael. “They’re going to use him to kill all the winged, so you need to make The Powers listen.”
“How? How did this happen? No one knew ... No one knew who he was or that we’d given him to the MPD to watch over.”
“The ifs and buts are redundant,” Abbadon said. “The fact is that he’s gone. He’s in the wrong hands and every moment we waste is another minute’s advantage for Asher.”
“Adamah is vulnerable, naive,” Michael muttered to himself. “He will be easily swayed. In the wrong hands, his power could be catastrophic.”
“Michael!” Bane snapped. “The Powers. Now.”
Michael nodded sharply. “Come with me. Stick close.”
We trailed behind him, through the shimmering wards, past the winged guards, and into Dawn.
***
The streets were silent but the air was filled with guards, their wings flapping with an even, regular rhythm to keep them airborne. The White Wings weren’t taking any chances on unwelcome visitors. Michael drove us through the sun-dappled district, past parks and through neat business-lined streets into the heart of the district, where an oval building was suspended meters above the ground by unseen forces. A set of creamy steps led up to the entrance, which was a dark smudge against the marble exterior of the egg-shaped structure.
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