I wrap my arms around him and hold him tight, trying hard to keep myself calm and not lose it. That’s the last thing he needs. The hardest thing is, I know there is absolutely nothing I can say to make this better for him. He needs time; it won’t go away with just a few words.
“Make it stop, Ellie. Please? I need you to make me forget again,” he begs me, his hands grasping at me.
I know he needs more than sex to get past this and I can’t help but think of how he handled grief in his past – and how I’ve been handling mine recently – but there is no way I’m telling him no.
I start placing kisses along his neck and jaw and then up to his lips. He kisses me back, only a little less forcefully than before, but I don’t stop him this time. My shirt gets pulled off and I start unbuttoning his, kissing across his collarbone once I have it exposed.
“Get this off me,” he growls, tugging impatiently against the wrap holding his arm down.
“Nik.”
“Ellie get it off me. I’m fine, you know I’m getting it off for good tomorrow anyway,” he argues, trying to reach around his back and pull at the velcro.
“We don’t know that. You need another x-ray,” I try to reason with him.
“Please stop arguing with me woman. I know my own body. My shoulder is fine. Take the damn thing off,” he demands.
He’s getting angry quick, so I give in. But only because Dr. Schultz and Tristan told me he was healing right on schedule and he is supposed to get it off tomorrow. “I will beat your award-winning ass if you wind up hurting it again,” I tell him sternly, as I help him out of it.
“I won’t, see?” he says, pulling his shirt off with ease and moving his arm around for good measure. “I’m fine,” he declares, as he wraps me in his arms and kisses me again.
God, that feels good. He’s held me so many times, but this is a first.
He’s right back to desperate, his lips, tongue, and hands everywhere, and don’t do a thing to slow him down until my lips become so swollen and bruised I have to give them a break.
I slip off his lap, despite his growls and hard grip, and kneel between his legs. I undo his belt as quickly as I can and he gets the hint, lifting his hips just enough for me to get his pants and boxers halfway down his thighs. It was tricky with the raging erection he has. I start to lean over and take him in my mouth, but he stops me.
“No, I need to be inside you,” he groans, pulling at my bra to get me to stand back up.
Once I am, he reaches under my skirt and rips my panties down and pushes my skirt up around my waist. I was running on mostly emotions before, but now the lust is pulling ahead. He yanks me forward by my waist, rips the cups of my bra down, and clamps his hot mouth over one straining nipple, making me whimper.
I clear my head enough to step out of my panties, then straddle him again, rubbing my aching core over him slowly as he sucks and bites at my nipples.
His fingers suddenly grip the hair at the base of my skull, pulling my head back forcefully. “Enough. Fuck me, Ellie. Now,” he growls into my neck harshly.
“Nik!” I gasp, a deep shudder running through me. I manage to line myself up over him though and he slams me down over him the second I do. I cry out from being filled so quickly, so fucking completely, but nothing has ever felt better.
Our bodies and their needs take over, wild, almost brutal in their actions. His grip on me is unyielding as he jerks me down over and over again. I’ll definitely have bruises. I don’t care. I’ve never been fucked so hard and fast in my life and I love it. He’s hitting that perfect spot with every stroke and I shatter too quickly, screaming out his name.
He doesn’t slow down though, pulling me down faster and harder, and I thrash my head side to side with the intensity of it all. The line between pleasure and pain blurs more than it ever has for me. It needs to stop, but I never want it too.
“Oh God! Nik! I can’t!”
“Yes, you can. I’m not stopping until you come again, Ellie,” he pants roughly, reaching down and pressing hard on my clit. “You better fucking come.”
“Oh, no! No! Ahhh! Oh, fuck! Oh, yes! FUCK! YEEEESSSS!”
“FUCK, FUCK, fuuuuckkk!”
We shudder and shake uncontrollably for a few seconds then collapse into each other’s arms.
I moan, pant, and whimper my way into an orgasm coma, completely blissed out against his shoulder. At some point, he begins to rub my back and it wakes me up enough to register the dampness against my neck.
I sit up and his head slides down to my chest. “Nik, honey? Are you okay?” I ask softly, stroking the back of his hair.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers.
“Sorry? For what, baby?” I pull his face up to look at me. His eyes are red and glassy with tears. “Oh, my love. Please don’t. I’m okay. We’re okay. Everything’s alright, sweetie,” I whisper to him, pulling him into a hug.
“No, it’s not. I’m an asshole. I never should have treated you like that,” he says.
I pull back from him again and force him to look at me. “Stop that right this second, do you hear me? Don’t you ever apologize for making me feel like that. It was amazing, Nik. I’ve never been so turned on in my life, or cum harder. I refuse to let you feel sorry for that.”
“But, Ellie, I treated you like one of—”
“No. Don’t you dare.” I shake my head at him. “Today sucked a big fat hairy ass.” He lets out a wry huff, but his eyes lighten a bit along with it. “We both needed that, baby. I’m in no way upset with you or a bit sorry for it,” I assure him, kissing his lips softly. “Unless we hurt you.”
He shakes his head. “I don’t think so. The pain meds will take care of it if we did,” he mumbles.
I’m going to give him more before bed just to make certain.
I lean forward and let my lips linger against his cheekbone, then lean my forehead against his. “I love you so much, Nik. So, so much,” I whisper.
He pulls me into a hug and buries his face in my neck. “I love you too. More than anything.”
I get up as soon as he lets me and carefully help him get his pants all the way off and then into bed. He’s so exhausted. I clean him up with a warm washcloth, then tuck him in.
“Are you gonna lay down with me?”
I brush his hair back and give him a kiss. “I’m gonna go clean up our supper and then I will, okay? Give me ten minutes.”
“Five,” he pouts.
I smile and kiss him again. “Okay five. I’ll be right back.”
I slip quietly under the covers beside him four minutes later. I thought he was asleep, but he reaches for me. “Snuggle with me,” he mumbles, never opening his eyes.
I curl myself around his side and kiss his chest. He pulls me closer. “I love you.”
“I love you too, sweetie. Get some rest.”
He moans, then is snoring a few seconds later.
~
Very unpleasant and unmistakable sounds wake me up around dusk. Nik’s in the bathroom throwing his guts up.
I scramble out of the bed and run in to check on him. He’s heaving and panting, braced over the toilet. It looks like he tried to hit the hole, bless his heart, but since he can’t squat down, a good bit of it missed from the height it had to travel from.
I grab a washcloth and run cold water over it and bathe his neck and face with it until he’s finished, then wipe his mouth.
“I’m sorry,” he pants, ghost white and standing on one shaky leg.
“Hush. It’s not your fault. Here, can you lean against the counter? I don’t want you to fall.”
He nods and I help him over there. I let him rest his head on me while he gets his breathing more even.
“You think you’re done?” I ask softly a few minutes later.
He sits up with a deep sigh. “I think so,” he whispers, still weak.
I give him a little cup of mouthwash, he swishes and spits, then I wipe the sweat off his face with the cool rag. “Is it the
migraine?”
He looks at me, his eyes tired and sad, and just shrugs. My guess would be no, but I don’t push him to explain.
“Do you wanna go lay back down?”
“Yeah.”
I wrap my arm around him and help him back to the bedroom. As I’m getting him settled I notice the sheets are damp. He must have been feeling sick for awhile. I don’t know how I didn’t wake up, he had to have been tossing and turning at least some.
“Why don’t you scoot to my side, sweetie? The sheets are damp. I wish you had woken me up. Promise me you will next time?”
“I hope there isn’t a next time,” he groans, moving himself over with some effort.
“Me too, but I’m fine with you waking me up if there is, okay?” I tell him, walking around the bed.
“K,” he sighs, sinking into the mattress.
I lean over and kiss his forehead, it’s still clammy. “Will you be okay while I go clean up?”
“Fuck,” he breathes out heavily. “You’re always having to clean up after me. I’m sorry.”
“Shhhhh, it’s fine. Are you okay for a few minutes?”
He sighs again. “Yeah.”
I pick his hand up and kiss his fingers. “I’ll be back. Yell if you need me.”
“K.”
He’s out cold by the time I finish, so I take a bath to clean myself up some, leaving the door open so I can hear him. I was afraid I wouldn’t if I took a shower. I finish that, get dressed, let Roxie out for a bit, and start a load of laundry. He sleeps through it all. I’m glad I took a nap, cause I have a feeling we’re going to be up most of the night. There’s no way he’ll be sleepy any time soon.
I’m about to go lay down with him when my phone rings. I grab it up off the dining room table before it wakes him up.
“Hello?”
“How’d it go today?”
“Hi, Leia. How are you?” She has the worst phone manners.
“Fine. So how did it go?” she asks again.
“I’m fine too, Leia. Thank you for asking,” I say just to needle her.
“Ellie, for fuck’s sake,” she groans. I swear I hear her eyes roll.
I let out a deep sigh. “I suppose it would depend on how you look at it. The bastards will stay in jail until the trial, but that’s about the only plus we’ve had today.”
“Why, what happened?”
“The DA played the security tape from Starbucks.”
“Fuck. Nik saw it?”
“Yeah. It really messed him up, Leia. I’m worried. He’s been too quiet, he didn’t eat hardly anything today, and he threw that up almost an hour ago. He got another migraine, but I’m pretty sure he had a nightmare and that’s what made him sick. Other than that, he’s been asleep since four thirty.”
“Fuck.”
“Yeah. I don’t know how to help him.”
“Oh, bullshit. If anyone can, it’ll be you. Just do for him what you wanted people to do for you.”
“I wanted to be left alone to die, Leia. I’m sure as hell not gonna do that.”
“Of course not,” she huffs. “Ellie, you two are so connected it’s pathetic. Just follow your gut. You haven’t failed him yet.”
“I’m trying. I’m willing to do whatever he’ll let me.”
“I know you will and more importantly, so does he.”
“Are you still coming?” I ask her. She’s supposed to be here Saturday night, but she’s had to cancel twice already. I hope that’s not what she called to tell me again. I know she can help lift Nik’s spirits if she gets to come.
“My flight leaves at noon your time. I’ll rent a car so you don’t have to pick me up. Just text me the address.”
Thank goodness. “Okay. I’m so glad you’re coming. He needs you.”
She huffs with a little more humor this time. “Not as much as he does you.”
“Leia! That is not true. He’ll always need…”
Click.
Ugh! Sometimes I can’t understand her. No, make that most of the time. How siblings can be so different is beyond me.
I go back to the bedroom and pull the comforter over the sweaty sheets, then lay down and flip through a magazine. Roxie jumps on the bed and curls up beside her daddy, sniffing and licking him a few times before going to sleep herself. They are so sweet together.
About an hour later, his baby blues finally open again. “Hey,” he croaks.
“Hey, baby.” I smile at him, reaching over and taking my bottle of water from the nightstand and handing it to him, then take it back once he’s sucked down a few swallows.
“Thanks,” he says, rolling over towards me.
“Look at you on your left side,” I smile, scooting down under the covers and lying beside him. “Feeling any better?” I ask, kissing his cheek, then running my fingers through his messy hair.
He grins a little, but then reaches up and rubs his face, wiping it away. “Yeah, I guess. What time is it?”
“Almost nine.”
“Damn. I don’t know what brought all that on, but I guess I needed some rest,” he mumbles.
I think I know, but I’ll keep those thoughts to myself.
“How’s your head and stomach?”
“Better. Sorry I made a mess.”
“Stop apologizing, sweetie. You didn’t do it on purpose. Do you think you could eat something? You haven’t had much at all today. I could fix you some scrambled eggs and toast,” I offer.
“That sounds good. Thank you, beautiful,” he says, absentmindedly, looking down between us.
“You’re welcome,” I whisper before kissing his forehead, then moving to get up. Maybe he’ll perk up once I get some food in him.
“Wait,” he stops me, reaching over and pulling me into a hug.
God, I really, really love feeling both of his arms around me.
I hug him back tightly and throw my leg over him to feel even closer.
“You’re amazing, I hope you know that,” he whispers into my neck, rolling us over so he’s on top of me for the first time ever.
“Nik,” I gasp from worry and pleasure combined.
His weight on me, coupled with the gorgeous view of him above me steals my breath and soaks my panties so quickly it’s embarrassing. In the back of my mind I know exactly what he’s doing and I shouldn’t let him do it again, but I’m helpless. I love him too much to cause him any unhappiness. He needs time and he needs me. I’ll give him both, just like he’s done for me.
“Hush your worrying. Look,” he fusses, nodding his head to where I can see his broken leg pulled up beside us under the covers. “I won’t put any pressure on it, I promise. Now slide yours out from under it so I can lay between your perfect thighs. I’ve waited six weeks, and that’s fucking long enough,” he informs me, his voice rough. He’s staring at me with such intensity, it’s a miracle I don’t go up in flames.
My worry flies right out of my head. I dreamed of this moment the day I gave him that first sponge bath. This is so much better. I quickly, but carefully, pull my leg out from under his then pull my knees back so he can lay right where we both want him. He’s there before I draw in a breath, pressing hard and hot against me.
We moan together as he slowly rocks over me. He’s so hard and probably aching as much as I am. I may cum just from the sight of him alone. I’ve never seen anything more arousing than having his body looming over mine, his skin taut over his straining muscles, lips parted as he pants deeply, and his eyes…
If someone asked me to show them what passion looked like, I would show them his eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes. When he looks at me like he is right now, I swear the feeling in my heart is my soul is trying to escape just so it can be closer to him.
My hands go to his chest and I rub them over every inch of his skin that’s been denied to me for the last six weeks. Somehow it feels even better under my hands than the rest of him, though my heart clenches every time I feel one of his scars.
I slide them
over his shoulders and down his back to his perfect ass, pulling him tighter against me.
“Ellie,” he groans, “You are never allowed to wear panties again. If you don’t you move them I’m gonna cum all over them.”
Damn, I don’t know which of us is panting harder now.
I reach down and jerk them to the side and he immediately slides into me in one long, slow stroke.
“Oh, sweet fuck,” he grunts, gathering me up in his arms, pulling us closer together, his breath hot against my neck.
“Nik,” I sigh, my hips lifting us off the bed, taking him even deeper.
Our bodies take over just like they always seem to do, rocking in perfect rhythm, even if it is slower than our usual speed. But there is something to be said for slow and deep, I’m already at the edge. We’ve made love at least twice a day for a week now, but this is different. I guess people frown on plain old missionary, but having the man you love over you, his weight pressing you into the soft bed while he buries himself deep within you over and over, his moans hot in your ear… It’s perfect.
He lifts his head and starts kissing his way down from my neck to my breasts. When he reaches my right nipple and starts to lave it with his tongue, that’s all it takes. The sight and feel of it makes me explode around him in one of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had.
When I come down from my high, he’s looking down at me, his arms braced on either side of my head, his eyes smoldering while he strains to hold still.
How in the hell did I get so lucky to have this gorgeous man fall in love with me?
I reach up and cup the side of his face, stroking my thumb along his cheekbone, and doing my best not to cry. “I love you, Nik.”
The heat slowly starts to fade from his eyes as he stares at me. Everything he feels for me and about me is shining out of them in quick succession. I can see it all start to overwhelm him, his eyes growing huge, soft, and glassy.
I can’t stop the tear that slips down my temple.
“Don’t,” he whispers, his voice paper thin, wiping the damp skin the tear left behind with his thumb. “Please, don’t.”
Heal Me (Magnolia Series Book 2) Page 9
