Keep My Heart (Top Shelf Romance Book 7)

by Lex Martin

  Thumb in her mouth and tugging on her ear, Sarai shakes her head.

  Caleb glares at me and grabs a lock of her hair, rubbing it between his fingers. “I’m your daddy.”

  I take several steps back, putting more distance between them.

  “Daddy,” Sarai whispers, violet–blue eyes locked with violet–blue.

  “Mrs. Foster, would you take Sarai to the car?” I ask abruptly, watching the interplay between father and daughter with dread. Sarai is bright and curious and has the memory of an elephant.

  “Are you sure, Iris?” Mrs. Foster asks.

  I pass Sarai to her and fabricate a smile. “I’ll be fine,” I assure her. “Caleb and I need to talk.”

  “But Iris, maybe you should wait for—”

  “No, now’s fine.” I nod toward the black SUV a few feet away. “I’ll come in a little bit.”

  She splits a concerned look between Caleb and me but turns with Sarai and goes to the car.

  “Alone at last.” Caleb touches my hair, sifting it through his fingers. “I prefer your hair straight, but you do look beautiful.”

  I pull away, scooping my hair with one hand and tucking it behind my back and out of his reach. “What do you want, Caleb?”

  His smile, his eyes—everything about him is lascivious as he studies me, my face, my breasts, lingering at the juncture of my thighs and down my legs.

  “I want what’s mine.” He leans forward to whisper in my ear, “Do you honestly think you can leave me, Iris, and never come back? Do you think you can take my daughter from me and not pay for it?”

  The fine hairs on my body lift. My heart pounds and my muscles brace. My body is an uprising, prepared for anything.

  In a flash, his hand shackles my wrist, gripping to the point of pain. “How dare you fuck him?” he hisses. “And flaunt him in front of me on my home court? Let him watch my daughter grow up when I can’t?”

  His tongue darts out and licks behind my ear, and the saliva freezes and dries on my skin, repulsing me.

  “I wish I could fuck you right now in front of everyone.” He laughs. “Wouldn’t August love to see how we do it?” He steps so close his dick pokes my belly. “Only you do this to me, Iris.” He swallows, the hardness in his eyes fading to that sick desperation he covers with hubris. “Come back home. I miss you. I’ll be better this time. I promise. I—”

  His breath stalls in his chest. He glances down between us, where MiMi’s jeweled knife glints in the dim parking lot. The wicked tip is pressed to Caleb’s dick.

  A woman in this world has to keep her wits about her and her weapons at hand.

  “You never gave me much satisfaction.” I smile serenely. “So I have no use for this dick. If you do, I suggest you let me go right now, or I will cut it off and leave you bleeding out like the sick animal you are.”

  “Iris, let’s be—” He stops when I press it deeper into him. “Fuck, baby.”

  “I’m not your baby. I’m not your girl. I’m not even your baby’s mama because as far as I’m concerned, Sarai’s not yours.” I glance down to my wrist still cuffed by his huge hand. “Let me go, Caleb, or I take one of those hairy balls.”

  His hand falls away, but his eyes assault me.

  “I used to resent you for making me do all those things at gunpoint,” I say. “But now I realize that’s how the game is played when you know someone doesn’t love you, and you always knew that, didn’t you, Caleb? You knew I didn’t love you before I knew it myself. That’s why you held on so tight.”

  “One of these days, Iris . . .” His smile is possessed, mad, and it makes me shiver.

  I put more distance between us and discreetly slip the knife back into my purse.

  “It better be soon because, according to Lo,” I say, blowing over my palm the way she did that day, “your days are numbered.”

  The closest thing I’ve ever seen to fear enters his eyes. If I didn’t know before, I know now. Lo is definitely more badass than I am. I hold a knife to Caleb’s dick and he barely looks nervous. I remind him of Lotus’s words, and he’s scared.

  “Iris, you ready?”

  It comes from behind us. August walks up, dressed similarly to Caleb in a dark sweater and slacks. That’s where the similarities end. Caleb is bright as eighteen-carat gold, but tarnished and counterfeit. August is dark, towering over me like a wall providing shelter. He steps into the spot beside me and takes my hand. With his eyes never leaving Caleb’s face, he leans down to drop a kiss in my hair.

  “You need something, Caleb?” he asks tonelessly.

  “You have no idea,” Caleb replies, his eyes cold and glinting, focused on me.

  “I’m going to say this once.” August doesn’t release my hand, but steps into Caleb’s space until their shoes practically touch. “Iris and Sarai are under my protection, and if you bother them, you’re bothering me.”

  The words settle among the three of us.

  “And I’ll do more than just break your leg, Caleb,” he says softly. “You don’t get to see them unless Iris says so.”

  “You’re so wrapped around her little finger.” Caleb laughs cruelly. “She has you pussy whipped.”

  “She does,” August replies pleasantly, allowing a smile. “Jealous?”

  Caleb’s smile drops. “Just remember I had that pussy first.”

  “Then you know what a lucky man I am to have Iris for the rest of my life.” August laughs. “This is one instance where I’d rather be last than first. You had your shot. You screwed it up. I’m what they call in basketball . . . a closer. A finisher.”

  The faux ease evaporates, and August’s face freezes over. “This is the only warning you get, Caleb. The next time I find you trying to intimidate my girl, you won’t be playing ball for a long time.” He tilts his head, his narrowed eyes cutting through the tension-thickened air. “And I won’t bother disguising it as a dirty play.”

  They stare at one another for long seconds stretched and thinned by their mutual malice. I know how clever and insidious Caleb is. Even seeing August close to him for a few minutes makes me nervous. Caleb carries a miasma of evil, and I’m choking on it. I want everyone I care about as far away from him as quickly as possible.

  “August.” I tug on his hand. “Baby, let’s go.”

  Caleb’s eyes flash to me. I didn’t mean to provoke him by using the endearment, but I don’t care if he knows that what I withheld from him, I give freely to August. He finally slides his hands into his pockets and walks away, whistling.

  I expel a breath held so long I’m dizzy. While facing Caleb, my bravado was high and my knife was drawn, but with him gone, my knees shake and I lean limply into August. He rubs my arms, linking our fingers with one hand and cupping my face with the other.

  “What was that?” he asks, a frown creasing his brow. “You’re trembling. Iris, what the hell is going on?”

  One day I’ll have to tell him. I’d hoped I would never have to and that I could use the NDA as my excuse. It’s really the shame, the embarrassment, and the horror that I don’t want to share with him. I don’t want him to know that those things happened to me and that the woman he loves is such damaged goods. I’ll have to swear him to secrecy, and he’ll have to promise not to go after Caleb, which I don’t know if he’ll be able to do. My thoughts swirl and tangle.

  “I’ll tell you everything soon, okay?” I rest my forehead against his chest. “Just not today. Can we just go to your mom’s and enjoy Thanksgiving dinner?” I lift my head and piece together a grin. “And celebrate your win? Can we do that?”

  His expression doesn’t change or soften when I tease him, but he finally blows out a tired breath, running his hands through his hair. “You will tell me everything soon?” he asks. “Because I’m gonna lose my shit if I walk up on him like that with you again. What the fuck? He’s creeping hard, and—”

  “Yes. I’ll tell you soon, but not yet.” I close my eyes and press my lips tight against the tears, the em
otion that if I uncork, I won’t be able to stop. “Promise.”

  He bends until our lips are level and takes mine between his, and the day, the scrutiny, the fear, the anxiety—it’s all eclipsed by this. By his lips, sweet and urgent and hungry over mine. By his devotion.

  “I just need . . .” I let the words rest on his lips. Time? Space? Grace? Understanding? Patience? “You,” I breathe into our kiss, angling my mouth to take more of him, to take as much of him as my lips can hold. “I just need you.”

  “You have me.” He straightens and looks over to the car where his mother watches us through the window. “Wow. My mom is watching us make out.”

  “I’m so embarrassed,” I groan into my hands. I don’t know how much of the interplay she could see with Caleb either, but after our conversation in the stands, I think I care less about that.

  “She probably suspected that we make out when I told her we were staying in a hotel tonight.”

  “We’re what?” I’d assumed we’d stay at his mother’s.

  “Lotus is gonna keep Sarai,” he says. “And you and I are gonna spend the whole night together.”

  The mom in me immediately wants to protest. No one else should have to look after my daughter. I should be able to do it, but August’s had to leave before the sun came up every time we were together.

  I’m going to give this to myself. Give this to us.

  I lean my head on his shoulder as we approach the car and his mother’s knowing grin. “That sounds marvelous, baby.”

  Iris

  What was I thinking?

  My reflection in the mirror mocks me. August and I get a night on our own in a billion-star hotel. One night when he doesn’t have to leave. Instead of lingerie to tempt him, I’m wearing a basketball jersey. I mean, it’s his jersey, but still. It’s not as sexy on me as it is on him.

  I fluff my hair around my shoulders and over my arms, crossing one foot over the other like Sarai does when she has to pee.

  “Well, all your crap is in the other room,” I tell the girl in the mirror. “So you gotta go out there at some point.”

  I need this. Today’s game was stressful. Seeing Caleb was a nightmare. Dinner with August’s family was great, but the anticipation of tonight hung over me the whole time. The prelude of covert touches under the table, stolen kisses in the hallway, long looks charged with promise—it’s drawn my nerves tight and has me poised on a fine edge. The Stingers’ game was the end of a road trip, so August hasn’t been home, and we haven’t been together in days.

  Lo is the only person I trust with Sarai overnight, and with them safely up the hall, I can relax completely.

  When I enter the bedroom, I don’t even take in the white and gold furnishings, the thick pile carpet, the stunning view of the city. The only thing I notice about the huge bed is the man sitting at the foot of it.

  August showered shortly before I did, and he’s hasn’t bothered dressing. He’s always a luxury for the senses. August naked, the muscles in his stomach stacked, his skin beaded with moisture, his hair a chaos of messy curls? That’s a matter of irresistibility.

  I make it my business to know sports stats, so I know August’s wingspan, but that’s not the same as seeing his shoulders stretched wide, a horizon of muscle and bone and bronzed flesh. I know his vertical, how high he can jump from standing, but that’s a flat number. It tells you nothing about the legs of a man six inches over six feet, long and lean with chiseled flanks and thighs, or the calves carved from clay, hardened and burnished in the sun. He’s a shooter. He’s one of the best the league has ever seen and deadly from behind the arch. But I know those arms, carved and sculpted, as a haven, and those “handles”, his hands, the safe place where I leave my heart.

  His eyes widen on me, a heated scan of my body. “Damn, Iris.”

  I cross over to him, and he tugs me to stand between his legs. His cock, hard and stiff and hot, brushes against my skin. My toes curl into the carpet and my fingers curl into the dark silk of his hair. He palms my shoulders and strokes down my arms. There’s reverence in the hands tracing the shape of my hips through his jersey.

  “I should have worn something sexy,” I say in a rush. “Like a negligee or—”

  “Just stop.” His laugh comes out, a wisp of smoke. “Seeing you wear my number is like a wet dream wrapped in a hand job.”

  He outlines his number, thirty-three, emblazoned over my chest with one finger. When he pinches and rolls my nipples, the cartilage in my knees goes to goo. I grab his shoulders, smooth and velvet, to keep me on my feet. His hands wander over my legs, creeping under the hem of the jersey to cup my bare butt, squeezing until his fingers meet at the crack of my ass. With his eyes locked with mine, he spreads my cheeks and runs one thick finger along that secret, sensitive ridge. Like he’s pulled a lever, moisture leaks from my body, dampening my thighs.

  Stealthily, one hand slips between my legs, and for a few moments he just caresses my lips. My breath grows jagged. I’m a moaning, shameless girl spreading her legs, silently begging him to touch me there. To open me up, invade, and own this pussy.

  August teases me until his fingers are soaked with my body’s wet, begging offering, with the supplication leaking down my thighs. My nails sink into his flesh, demanding more.

  He doesn’t look away and neither do I, when his mouth, steamy and insistent, possesses one breast through the jersey. He finally spreads me and taps my clit.

  “Oh.” I wilt against him, weak and gasping, resting my forehead on his. “August.”

  His thumb strokes me, repeating the caress and stealing more breath with every pass. He pulls one leg on either side to frame his muscled thighs until I’m splayed over him, cool air whispering over the wet, hot pleat of me.

  “I wanna fuck you in my jersey, wearing my number.” He tongues the length of my neck. “Ride me, Iris.”

  Just those words said just that way—I’m frozen in the moment. Preserved in a block of ice. For a second, my body shuts down. Cools. Stalls. Those words haunt me.

  Another man commanded me to ride him. He told me to make him believe I wanted him, but I couldn’t. I didn’t. His cruelty stole my passion and turned me cold.

  “Iris?” August’s frown, the concern on his face, in his voice, remind me where I am. “Baby, you okay?”

  I blink down at him dumbly, swallowing my tears, eating my memories whole and digesting a nightmare from long ago. I nod, my lips a cold, wobbly curve.

  “Kiss me,” he whispers, his eyes so tender, so intent.

  I remember a magical night under the stars, under a streetlight on the eve of greatness. A night filled with laughter and confidences, pregnant with promise. And I see him so clearly, my prince, asking for a kiss.

  And I do.

  I kiss him like the world might end tonight because I’ll never take this for granted. Not his kindness, when I’ve known cruelty all too well. Not his tenderness, when I’ve been handled roughly in the past. Not his love, when I’ve been possessed and owned and mistreated.

  He thaws me with his kiss, my prince, and I melt into him. We’re chest to chest, with August’s number crushed between us. I take his cock in my hand, aligning our bodies, and two become one in a carnal slide of flesh. I anchor myself by my elbows hooked around his neck, and we kiss until I’m dizzy and our breaths tangle in a cloud of bliss. Under the jersey, his palm spans my back, digging into the naked flesh as our hips lock and roll and grind. My body clenches around him, and we pray, we curse, we moan, we mate like our bodies were made for this moment.

  Ours is a love that reimagines—that peels back the sky at high noon searching for the stars, collecting them like shells in a bucket. We bathe in stardust, drink from the Milky Way, and dance on the moon. We pierce the firmament, peer into infinity, and tread on time and space. There is no before. There is no after. Now gives birth to forever. This moment may die, but this love never will. Time is not a line. It’s a circle, and we, August and Iris, we stand at the
center.

  “Have you seen Sliding Doors?” I ask, pressing my back into the rigid wall of August’s torso.

  It’s dark and I’m only a few minutes past an orgasm that left my brain like an old floppy disk wiped clean.

  “The movie?” His hands move in my hair.

  “Yeah, Sliding Doors.”

  “Kate Winslet?”

  “No, Gwyneth Paltrow.”

  “Is that the movie where her mother-in-law tries to kill her?”

  “No, that’s Hush.”

  “Why do you know so much about Gwyneth Paltrow?” he teases, pinching my sides and making me squeal. “It’s weird.”

  “It’s not w . . . okay. So in Sliding Doors, this lady—”

  “Gwyneth Paltrow.”

  “Oh, my god. Yes,” I agree, laughing into the pillow both our heads rest on. “Gwyneth Paltrow.”

  “I’m just clarifying.”

  “So she drops this earring in the lift.”

  “A what? A lift?”

  “It’s London. Lift. Elevator. Same thing.”

  “So she drops an earring in the lift.”

  I hear his grin in the dark and wait a beat to let my silence warn him.

  “Okay, okay.” He laughs into my hair. “I’ll stop.”

  I elbow him in the stomach. He “omphs”, and I go on.

  “Well she drops the earring and the story branches off into these two different scenarios.” My good humor dissolves like sugar in vinegar. “With these two different men.”

  August doesn’t laugh either, but finds my hand and links our fingers under the overstuffed weight of the duvet. He waits for my next words.

  “I used to think of the night we met all the time.” I bite my lip and blink back unexpected tears. “You wanted to kiss me outside the bar.”

  “And you told me you had a boyfriend.” His voice has grown sober, too.

  “When I was . . .”

  Beaten. Bruised. Threatened. Violated.

  “. . . unhappy, I would imagine that I kissed you that night.” I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I could erase the wasted years between then and now. “I would imagine that I chose you, and that one choice changed everything.”